Brendan O'Connor
“After your show aired, the guy I loved, from years back, got in touch...”
06 Jun 2026
Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What was the listener's love story that inspired this episode?
You might remember back in February, I read you a letter we got from a listener telling me about a love affair he had with a man 30 years ago. So he was watching Heated Rivalry, a TV show about two gay hockey players involved in a secret relationship. And it brought back for him... the sadness of a lost love of his. So the writer of the letter has been married to a woman for many years.
He has adult children now. But in his younger days, you might recall, he had a secret and intense relationship with a man. And like in heated rivalry, they played sports together. And that relationship lasted two and a half years and then ended suddenly.
Chapter 2: How did the TV show 'Heated Rivalry' evoke past emotions for the listener?
So the letter writer at that time, he talked about how as he watched Heated Rivalry, he found himself lost in emotion and it brought back for him again how bereft he felt when his own relationship ended back then. Now that was 30 years ago, but he said in that first letter that he thinks about this man every single day since. So this week he wrote again and this is what he had to say.
Dear Brendan, an update. Back in January, I wrote to you about feelings I had while watching the TV show Heated Rivalry. I felt you displayed empathy around my story. I want to remain private for various reasons. And look, he does go into those reasons in more detail in his letter, but I'll leave that out for now.
But, he continues, I will share with you what has happened since, as I feel it is right to give closure for the help you've given me. So here goes. Sometime after your program aired, the guy I loved from years back got in touch.
The key phrase he picked up on from my letter was the line that said, quotes, after the first drink, he pointed to the top shelf with the spirits and the cures and asked, what would I fancy? And my reply was, I fancy you actually. So one of his friends told him about you reading out the letter on the show that day and remarked to him, did you ever hear the like?
My friend, stirred by that remark, found the broadcast, listened and knew it was me. He remembered, put two and two together and he took a chance. While I had no idea where he lived or worked, he knew all about me. And so he got in touch. He felt previously that had he gotten in touch, he would have been rejected. But when he heard the letter read out on radio, he decided to reach out.
He also explained a crucial piece of what happened 30 years ago. So listen to this, right? It turns out that one day back then, his boss was leaving the same hotel him and me were checking into. His boss saw him, was going to say hello, but on seeing both of us and the way we greeted each other, decided not to say hello.
Some days later, his boss asked him, did you two get a room together? And also remarked, strange you were there together, wasn't it? With that remark and the times that were in it, my friend was frightened into escape mode.
Shortly after that, without any warning, he disappeared to a new job and location, leaving me with no forwarding contact details. I could not make inquiries as we were, quotes, not friends. So he got in touch, we recently met and we chatted. We now see each other often, but we both agree that at this time in our lives, we can't go back to what we had 30 years ago.
It would be foolish to revisit a place we lost. We can't completely fix what we lost, but we can try rebuilding a great friendship. If we were those 22-year-olds nowadays, we would see our situation in a modern light and we wouldn't need to look back at those forbidden years.
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