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Chapter 1: What is the premise of the Battle of the Tinder Dates segment?
Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy? Not quite! On Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends, me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guests, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel, help an acapella band with their between-songs banter.
Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes.
Those people are starving for banter. Listen to Humor Me with Robert Smigel and friends on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind.
Chapter 2: Who are the contestants in the Tinder date showdown?
and nobody's telling you exactly what happened. That's where Sports Slice comes in. I'm Timbo, and every episode, we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the biggest moments in sports, and giving you the real story behind the headlines.
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Your 20s can be so exciting, but they can also be really overwhelming, confusing, and honestly, just kind of lonely. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and the psychology of your 20s is breaking down the science behind the biggest roadblocks we face. I was six years into my career, the 80-hour weeks and just the first one in, the last one out, and I ended up burning out.
There was a large chunk of my 20s that I was just so wanting to be out of that phase, out of my skin, and I just really regret not living in the present more.
Chapter 3: What are some of the worst Tinder date stories shared?
You don't need to have everything figured out right now. You just need to understand yourself a little bit better. Listen to The Psychology of Your 20s on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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The story I told myself can then shape my behavior, and that can lead me to sabotage the possibility of connection.
This Mental Health Awareness Month, tune into the podcast Deeply Well with Debbie Brown. If you've been searching for a soft place to land while doing the work to become whole, this podcast is for you.
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Chapter 4: How does Tumbleweed Reed's date at the gym go wrong?
To hear more, listen to Deeply Well with Debbie Brown from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Two hopeless daters. One dating app that dares you to swipe right. The question is, whose love life is more tragic? It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.
It's the dating game show that spices up his naughty text by asking his mother what he should write. Battle of the Tinder Dates. where two of our listeners go head-to-head to find out whose dating life is the most tragic. We'll explain the rules in just a second, but first, let's meet today's contestants. In this corner, he likes his make-out sessions to be as dry as a desert.
Chapter 5: What unexpected twist happens at Storm Trooper Cooper's date?
Yuck. That's how he got the nickname Tumbleweed Reed. I have to take a sip of water. The terrible Tinder date camp is here, fellas. He's coming in confident. He crowned himself the champ already.
I don't know.
I feel dusty just even talking to him. And in the other corner, he embraced the dark side and is always down to Netflix and clone. That's why the ladies call him Storm Trooper Cooper.
Chapter 6: What hilarious incident occurs at the furniture store date?
All right. Our contestants are ready, and here's how the game works. One will start by telling one of their worst date stories. The other will try and counter with a nightmare story of their own. We're going to go back and forth for three rounds until we declare a winner, starting it off with Tumbleweed Reed. Let's do it.
So I met a girl on Tinder and she is really into working out, she tells me, and I am too. Oh, that's good. So we go to the gym for our date. Very cool.
Chapter 7: How does the final round of Tinder date stories unfold?
Until she tells me that I need to yell at her in a foreign accent. She needs me to scream motivation in German. Oh, German specifically. I mean, it is angry sounding, no matter what you say. Totally. You get like five more reps in if someone's yelling at you that way. She's trying to yell stop and he just keeps going. Were you able to do it for her?
I tried, but after she kept telling me to get louder and louder, I just couldn't handle the embarrassment. Screaming nine in the middle of the gym.
Chapter 8: Who wins the title of 'sad single of the week'?
She's like, louder! He's like, no! All right, Storm Trooper Cooper, can you count her? Yeah, man, this girl I was out with, she invited me to come to her house party after the date, right? Okay. So we get there, and everyone starts congratulating her. And I'm asking, what are they congratulating you about? Exactly. She said it's her divorce party, and she's signing the papers right there.
Oh, my God. But you know it's official, right? There's no gray area. Uh-huh. Exactly. She wants to make it official before we, you know, do the freaky-deaky. Oh, so you did? Wait, what? I didn't feel good about it, but I did. Oh, wait a minute. It's not official until you seal it that way. Hey, let that woman celebrate however she wants, okay? Oh, God. Reed, we're back to you.
No, no, that sounds like a great date to me. My date, on the other hand. She was incredibly honest with me when we met up. She told me she's got another situation ship going on. Okay, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm cool with that. I'm thinking I'm going to win out in the end. Yeah. So we hang out a few more weeks, and then she admits that the other person is ChatGPT. Excuse me?
I almost thought you said Chad. What kind of is ChatGPT now? What is she talking about? She's telling me that they talk every night. They have so much in common. Yeah. In common? What? Oh, God. In the end, she has me write her a poem. Chad GPT writes a better one. She breaks up with me. Oh, darn it. God, AI's taking over everything. Cooper, you got your work cut out for you here. Oh, man.
I was with this girl, and we stopped in this furniture store, and she asked me to pretend like we were newlyweds so that she can get this wedding registry discount or whatever. What? So I went along with it. Okay. But what she didn't tell me is that she was then going to frame me for cheating on her, and she pretended that she just found out right there in that moment. Oh.
Is there a cheating discount or something? I don't know about that, but she definitely got a sympathy discount because she was in tears. She was putting on a great show. Oh. Oh, my God. And the furniture store people are like, oh, I feel so bad for you. Here's another 20% off that couch. The worst thing is that she winks at me on the way out. Oh, that's petty. Good work, buddy.
You saved me a pretty penny there. All right, we're on to our third and final round here. We need your best stories, gentlemen. So tumbleweed read, give it to us. So I meet the girl on the dating app. She's 29 years old. Says she really wants to plan this first date. Tells me to dress up real nice that we're going to go somewhere fancy. And she's paying. That's exciting. That's really cool.
And she's paying? And she's paying.
Nice.
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