FULL SHOW: Rude to the Waiter Date, Hidden Ex Loser Line + Dumbest Customers (7/20/26)

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Brooke and Jeffrey 1h 24m 8 speakers 6 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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What are the show openers and promos listeners should know about?

Fred Armisen (ad/clip) - Not a show guest 0:00
Hey, Portlandia fans.
Jeffrey (Jeff) - Host 0:01
Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.
Fred Armisen (ad/clip) - Not a show guest 0:03
The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.
Kyle MacLachlan 0:06
We're launching Podlandia AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.
Fred Armisen (ad/clip) - Not a show guest 0:18
And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Kreisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.
Caller/segment participant (various) / Unknown 0:30
Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised not just words, but a song, a melody.
Kyle MacLachlan 0:35
Well, I thought you were all going to write a song.
Jeffrey (Jeff) - Host 0:37
I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia, AO Rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Jeffrey (Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning) 0:47
What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam Jay. And we're the hosts of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together and iHeart Women's Sports. We're breaking down the biggest headlines. Naomi Osaka showing out. Shout-outs to you, Naomi. The viral moments. I've been obsessed with Kashawn Rock's boxing journey. She looks good. Her combos are swift. And the stories everyone's talking about across women's sports. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to Everyone Watches Women's Sports on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week, the news gets worse, the world gets crazier, and Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem.
Caller/segment participant (various) / Unknown 1:27
Do you know I just found out who Sidney Sweeney was? If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men.
Jake Brennan 1:33
Do better or do less so I don't have to do so much. I'm Yamanika and I'm out. Listen to You're the Problem with Yamanika on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jake Brennan, and on my podcast, Disgraceland, I tell the stories behind music's biggest names, the moments that changed music history forever. Sonic Youth was cool, but was the band cooler than the couple on the cover of their album, Goo? Cool enough to escape the glare of the international paparazzi? Cool enough to escape murder? Disgraceland is part of the Exactly Right Network. Listen to new episodes every Tuesday, bonus episodes Thursday, and rewinds on Sunday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Brendan Sorsby 2:23
My first guest is Terrence Hilton. Shakira. Luke and Yerin. We have surprises. Many surprises. Welcome to the Sweet 305 Podcast, where the group chat comes to life. What up? What up?
Jeffrey (Jeff) - Host 2:36
You're the only person I know that loves a yellow starburst.
Brendan Sorsby 2:39
It's lemonade.
Jeffrey (Jeff) - Host 2:41
This is Sweet 305. Here, oversharing is encouraged.
Brendan Sorsby 2:45
Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Jeffrey (Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning) 2:52
All right, we're kicking off your Monday with a brand new full hour. We got a new second date coming up, new loser line. We got some fun laser stories on the way. Yep. But first, we got comments. Yes, and Larry said, wait, Brooke is short? I've always pictured her as a 6'1 athletic basketball player type, and now I'll picture her as hang gliding on a Dorito.
Alexis (call-in/producer guest) / Unknown 3:12
I just can't get it right. Yeah. Don't know.
Jeffrey (Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning) 3:15
You ever think you're Caitlin Clark out here? Dude, I'm bringing that tall girl energy, and I'm here for it. My family came to the studio like a week ago, and my mom was like, I thought Brooke was way taller than that. My mom thought you were a different ethnicity. She's like, oh, Brooke's white? Yes, it's very, yes. Compliments all over the place. Keep them coming. Nope, I'm a 5'4 white girl.
Jeffrey (Jeff) - Host 3:35
Sorry. Sometimes I disappoint myself saying that.
Jeffrey (Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning) 3:39
At least they all know about the glasses. Everyone knows that. Yeah, everybody knows that. You can hear them. That's right. All right, let's get to it. Your brand new full hour starts right now. We talked about it the other day. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Olive Garden's bringing back their never-ending 2026 Pasta Pass.

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