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Brooke and Jeffrey

Laser Stories (5/11/26)

11 May 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What unique twist does Laser Stories bring to weird news?

0.031 - 21.62 Unknown

Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy? Not quite! On Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends, me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guests, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel, help an acapella band with their between-songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes.

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21.8 - 40.467 Unknown

Those people are starving for banter. Listen to Humor Me with Robert Smigel and friends on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged. It's the Enhanced Games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential.

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40.888 - 67.72 Unknown

Either way, the podcast Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My mother-in-law spent years sabotaging our relationship until karma made her pay for it.

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She moved in for two weeks, lasted five days, left a mess, and then pressed her ear against their bedroom door and burst in screaming. When kicked out to a hotel, she called her son-in-law's workplace, pretending his partner had been rushed to the hospital by ambulance. faked a medical emergency? And spoiler, that was just the beginning.

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To find out how it ends, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

92.793 - 94.255 Sam Jay

On the Look Back At It podcast.

94.455 - 97.239 Alex English

1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 was big to me.

97.859 - 98.52 Sam Jay

I'm Sam Jay.

98.78 - 100.022 Alex English

And I'm Alex English.

Chapter 2: What is the Enhanced Games and how does it challenge traditional sports?

113.198 - 116.202 Alex English

I don't think there's a more important year for black people.

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Listen to Look Back at It on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what y'all say.

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126.644 - 138.845 Clifford Taylor IV

Yep, that's me, Clifford Taylor IV. You might have seen the skits, my basketball and college football journey, or my career in sports media. Well, now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show.

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This is a place for raw, unfiltered conversations with athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. So let's get to it. Listen to The Clifford Show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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152.794 - 184.784 Clifford Taylor IV

And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. It's the radio segment that's going viral with a first-ever office supply condiment mashup. Introducing the mayonnaise glue stick. Technically, it's not edible, but it looks close. So, why not take a lick while you're doing that art project? Oh, come on. You ate glue as a child. What's the difference?

184.804 - 206.2 Clifford Taylor IV

Hey, glue is delicious. Mayonnaise is gross. Oh, sorry. It is Laser Stories. The segment where we read weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser. Those other lick sticks just don't. This first Laser Story is out of Florida. The Coral Springs Police Department received multiple calls of a man in his 40s behaving erratically.

206.901 - 216.614 Clifford Taylor IV

According to 911, the guy was ripping off his clothes, lying down in a parking lot, and banging on plywood. But it's Florida, so is that erratic?

Chapter 3: How did a mother-in-law's actions create family drama?

216.634 - 240.254 Clifford Taylor IV

Well, one report even saw him stumbling through an alley and running in front of moving vehicles, forcing at least one driver to swerve off the road to avoid hitting him. That was nice of them. Yeah. What a bold move. Just keep going straight. So when police showed up, they found 41-year-old Charles Robert Strom stumbling around, and he was very clearly drunk.

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240.935 - 252.572 Clifford Taylor IV

Officers asked him to contact a family member in hopes that someone could come and pick him up. So Charles complied with the officer, took off his shoe, and used it in an attempt to call his mom. Hello?

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253.949 - 279.599 Clifford Taylor IV

Why is it not working? As officers watched him press imaginary buttons into the sole of his loafer, they told him that wasn't going to work. Uh-oh. And that's when Charles snapped back that it definitely would. Uh-huh. It's an ice shoe, you know. So cops waited a minute, and that's when Charles put the shoe back on his foot and told police the bad news. Uh-oh. Mom wasn't home.

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Oh, no. her answers. Yeah, when you need her. No.

285.106 - 306.298 Clifford Taylor IV

Man, those shoelaces must not have good reception. So rough. So Charles was then arrested for public intoxication. Dang it, Mom. He was taken to the hospital for medical clearance before being booked into the Broward County Jail. When they asked him for his one phone call, did he go back to the shoe making? Only in Florida, man. This next laser story is out of the Burrito Burrow. Ooh.

Chapter 4: What is the new trend of 'shrinkflation' at Chipotle?

306.278 - 317.176 Clifford Taylor IV

Delicious. There was a time when no one complained about the portion sizes at Chipotle. I know, they're huge. Your giant burrito could have been mistaken for a small child in a sleeping bag.

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319.39 - 338.231 Clifford Taylor IV

Dude, that's one of your big orders. Sometimes I walk in there and you've got a burrito that weighs 10 pounds sitting on your desk. Your burrito's bigger than the bowl. I like to do it for jaw exercises. I see. Well, recently, Chipotle has been one of the places accused of shrinkflation with customers complaining about paying more for less. Really?

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338.251 - 350.907 Clifford Taylor IV

And Chipotle's CEO chimed in recently saying he's heard about the complaints and says, look, if you're unsatisfied, just ask for a little more. Okay. Oh, is that easy?

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Okay.

351.148 - 370.862 Clifford Taylor IV

I mean, I'm sure the person behind the camera isn't going to judge you or anything for it. Why would they? He went on to say, I promise you, nobody is going to say no to you. Wow. I tell my crew all the time, put as much food in that bowl or burrito as you possibly can. I want the consumer to tell you it's too big. Okay. That's what she said.

371.433 - 374.1 Clifford Taylor IV

Why do I feel like these are the famous last words of Chipotle?

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I know.

374.621 - 378.21 Clifford Taylor IV

Like they're going to bankrupt themselves. On the app, I always do the add extra option.

Chapter 5: How is Uber Eats changing the way we order food during rides?

429.128 - 449.081 Clifford Taylor IV

This is a whole new version of that because Uber is launching Eats for the Way. And it allows passengers to have their driver pick up some food for them so that once you hop in the car for your ride, you have a meal with you hot and ready. Wow. That is actually brilliant. Oh, my gosh. It's only going to be available for Uber Black and Uber Black SUVs.

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449.101 - 464.168 Clifford Taylor IV

So, basically, people like Brooke are the only ones who are going to be able to afford this. I was going to say, that's terrible. You're eating in one of those nice cars. Yeah, it's stressful. Well, now when I pay for my dates, Ubers are going to be like, oh, I ate on the right here. Yeah. But still, here's how it works.

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464.448 - 476.915 Clifford Taylor IV

Once your Uber Reserve has been confirmed, you simply tap Add Uber Eats to enjoy a coffee, a tea, or a bite on the go. Tasty. Isn't it a bad idea to get a coffee in on the way to the airport?

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Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

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478.679 - 501.34 Clifford Taylor IV

Or a cocktail. The feature is already launching in select cities. No word on if there's going to be time restraints on when you're allowed to use it or if you can soon just stumble out of the club and order your car and your chili fries at the same time. That is a recipe for disaster. What about babysitting? Can you put kids in the car, have them go in a circle and just feed the kids?

501.32 - 506.73 Clifford Taylor IV

Yeah, they have UberKid. I forget what it's called, but yeah. And they like do extra background checks on the drivers and stuff.

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There you go.

507.071 - 515.847 Clifford Taylor IV

Babysitting is so easy. Usually you're getting your kid to school or something. You're not just like getting them out of the house for three hours to drive in a car. That's some creative parenting from Jose.

515.927 - 516.328 Unknown

I like it, Jose.

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