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Brooke and Jeffrey

Laser Stories (5/29/26)

29 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 19.412 Unknown

number one hits millions of records sold awards sold out tours you think the jonas brothers are satisfied nope it's podcast time we get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions hey jonas is available now and their first guest is a big one paul rudd You know, Steve Carell is a great singer. Can you tell you not to audition for The Office or something?

0

19.472 - 34.664 Unknown

I told him. Whoa. We were filming Anchorman. Clearly, I was the idiot. Thank God he didn't listen to me, right? Listen to Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends, we help make you funnier.

0

34.905 - 54.49 Unknown

On this episode, my guests Bob Odenkirk and Kids in the Halls Bruce McCullough try and help the Kazoo Kid and Tazon Day be famous again. What if there's an alternate universe show where you guys are incredibly popular? Well, and they could travel up the land doing meet and greets. They're constantly needed at malls.

0

54.95 - 77.042 Unknown

Listen to Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Michelle McPhee, and I've been unraveling the strangest criminal alliance I've ever reported on. A Mormon polygamist and an Armenian businessman. Multi-million dollar house, Ferraris and Lamborghinis, private jets, a billion dollar fraud.

0

77.363 - 91.058 Unknown

But how long can this alliance last? Tell me what you know. Is somebody coming after me? Listen to Kingdom of Fraud on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

91.139 - 110.413 Timbo

Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened. That's where Sports Slice comes in. I'm Timbo, and every episode, we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the biggest moments in sports, and giving you the real story behind the headlines. And we're going straight to the source,

110.393 - 125.938 Timbo

the athletes themselves, their locker room stories, their reactions in the moment, and the stuff nobody gets to hear. Listen to Sports Slice on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And for more, follow TimboSlicelife12 and the TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok.

126.61 - 149.964 Unknown

Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth.

149.984 - 181.879 Unknown

Listen to Superhuman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's the radio segment that's introducing a cool new product mashup to make your whole house smell fantastic. It's called the Cinebroom, combining Cinnabon with a Swiffer wet jet to leave gobs of sweet frosting all over your floors. Oh, wow. And then you lick it clean. Yeah. I get it.

Chapter 2: What weird crime story involves a chainsaw in Florida?

549.508 - 571.998 Unknown

This exclusive VIP perk is reserved for a very small circle of athletes, musicians, creators, and super fans. But it's not a lifetime offer. The card grants the person free Chipotle for only a year. What? It's probably smart because if they're not popular after a year, then it's like, all right. Do they still have to pay extra for guacamole? Oh, I wonder. I don't think they do, though.

0

572.339 - 586.563 Unknown

After that, the Chipotle team reportedly reassesses the person's fame, how they use the card, and if they uphold the Chipotle way. And then they can decide whether or not to reissue them a new card or take it back. Dang.

0

586.583 - 602.419 Unknown

I mean, that would be, like, what if your career's falling, there's, like, all this bad press about you, and then the final straw that breaks you is when Chipotle takes your card away. Oh, my gosh. VH1's behind the music. And all I have is my Sizzler's gold card.

0
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602.519 - 625.893 Unknown

So what did Timothy do to deserve such a high privilege? Yeah. He simply posted an Instagram story eating a burrito bowl inside a Chipotle restaurant one time. That's it? Once. Wow. And got rewarded with the card. Dude, you could sing eight Chipotle parody songs and they still wouldn't get you a card. No, they would ban me from all their stores.

625.913 - 643.856 Unknown

And man, if that's all it takes to get free food, I bet this guy has an idea. Because he just took a picture of himself rolling inside the gravy pot in an old country buffet. Oh, wow. I mean, that should be worth something. At least a free biscuit. I'm sure they have a celebrity card. They should. And that's how Means Laser Stories has come to an end for the day.

643.896 - 663.285 Unknown

We'll do it again same time on Monday. Number one hits, millions of records sold, awards, sold out tours. You think the Jonas Brothers are satisfied? Nope. It's podcast time. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Hey Jonas is available now and their first guest is a big one, Paul Rudd. You know, Steve Carell is a great singer.

663.466 - 680.811 Unknown

Can you tell you not to audition for The Office or something? I told him. Whoa. We were filming Anchorman. Clearly, I was the idiot. Thank God he didn't listen to me, right? Listen to Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends, we help make you funnier.

681.052 - 700.597 Unknown

On this episode, my guests Bob Odenkirk and Kids in the Halls Bruce McCullough try and help the Kazoo Kid and Tazon Day be famous again. What if there's an alternate universe show where you guys are incredibly popular? Well, and they could travel up the land doing meet and greets. They're constantly needed at malls.

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