Second Date Update: Anti-Farmers Market

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Brooke and Jeffrey 18 min 8 speakers 6 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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What is the episode's premise and who are the hosts introducing it?

Meg Stalter 0:00
Kicking off your Friday with a brand new episode. It's Brooke and Jeffrey. Thanks for finding our second date podcast, the official one. We appreciate you here in the present. I've seen a lot of comments lately on our episodes from a decade ago, eight years ago. And I keep writing because I think they're finding them on playlists. And not clicking back over to us. I'm like, you can come to the present. It's a great place here. They're not going to hear this until maybe 10 years from now. Well, a new episode for those who know. For the smarter ones out there. And what do you see in the comment section, Alexis?
Alexis (Producer/On-air contributor) 0:33
Muted Alt said, someone at Brooke and Jeffrey liked my comment on a short video, and it made me giddy like a schoolgirl. But now it's killing me. I need to know which one of my heroes it was. Well, you can't see who liked it? Well, Brooke and Jeffrey account. Oh.
Meg Stalter 0:47
Probably Digital Jake.
Alexis (Producer/On-air contributor) 0:48
Probably.
Meg Stalter 0:49
Which, I mean, that's the biggest compliment. Oh, if Jake likes your comment.
Jose Balano 0:52
Jake likes the funniest one here. I know.
Meg Stalter 0:53
If I can get him to laugh, I know my joke was actually funny. You really made it when that happens. Ashton, too. But Ashton gives a lot of courtesy laughs over there.
Jeffrey (host) [promo/announcer voice matched to Bruno Satin – HIGH confidence; Jeffrey role] 1:00
Yeah.
Meg Stalter 1:01
Yeah. Oh, see? Yeah, there we go. Right on.
Jeffrey (host) [promo/announcer voice matched to Bruno Satin – HIGH confidence; Jeffrey role] 1:04
That was good, Brooke. That was a good one. All right.
Show Tagline/Promo Voice 1:06
Let's get to the new episode. It starts right now. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update.
Jonas Brothers 1:11
I had to do some research and I asked the web, what's the typical average time for a first date?
Jose Balano 1:18
Oh, like the length of the date?
Jonas Brothers 1:20
Yeah, how long does like a first date usually last?
Meg Stalter 1:22
I'm curious what the internet says. I would guess like a couple hours? Yeah, me too.
Jonas Brothers 1:26
The answer, not including hookup, of course, is one hour and 38 minutes.
Meg Stalter 1:31
So if you included hookup, it's one hour and 42 minutes?
Jonas Brothers 1:34
Yeah. That's being generous. Now again, that's averaging like coffee dates with going to ball games.
Meg Stalter 1:41
All right.
Jonas Brothers 1:41
You know, mixing in yoga classes with colonoscopies where you hold his unconscious hand the entire time.
Meg Stalter 1:47
Thank you for explaining what averages are.
Jonas Brothers 1:50
Yeah, exactly. But what if I told you today's listener said they took that average date time and almost doubled it? That's what he claims, and his name is Sam. He's with us right now. Sam, congratulations on your super long date. Hopefully you weren't in the restroom the whole time, but how are you doing today, man? Three hours in the bathroom. No, it was a good date. What can I say? Okay. Awesome.
Meg Stalter 2:17
It wasn't even something where she fell asleep in the middle and got bored.
Sam (caller) 2:20
We were awake the whole time.
Jonas Brothers 2:22
Oh, nice. A good start. Okay, so tell us about this girl that you spent all this time with.

How long does a typical first date last according to the hosts?

Jonas Brothers 2:25
What's her name?
Sam (caller) 2:26
Well, her name is Jamie. And we matched online. And then we did this thing. And I don't know if they have this where you guys are, but it's called an anti-farmers market.
Meg Stalter 2:42
Anti-farmers market? Oh, I've never heard of that. You're protesting local farms? Only big corporations? Yes.
Sam (caller) 2:48
What is that? It's like they have a whole street blocked off just like a regular farmers market. But, like, there's a row of all processed food stands.
Jose Balano 2:57
Ew. Dude, I'd love that. I want to go to the Cheez Whiz stand.
Jonas Brothers 3:03
That would be awesome. I can only imagine the types of crowds that flock to an anti-fresh food market.
Meg Stalter 3:08
I am picturing a lot of mullets.
Jonas Brothers 3:10
It was busy. It was like, people were into it. Well, I don't doubt that there's a lot of people there. I just mean the types of people.
Jose Balano 3:16
I can see someone be like, who allowed this organic peach stand here? Get them out of here. Where's the red dye 40 stand?
Jonas Brothers 3:24
Bring it back. But a lot of people were there, huh?
Sam (caller) 3:26
Yeah, and it's like, they have all these funny signs of it. They think, like, no vegetables here.
Meg Stalter 3:33
This is actually awesome. I could get a Twinkie and just have a good time. What was your date's reaction to going to this?
Sam (caller) 3:39
I think she was into it. We were too busy laughing the whole time. I don't know why I'm asking. Good.
Meg Stalter 3:44
Because it is funny. That's the whole thing. It's supposed to be sarcastic and funny, I assume.
Jose Balano 3:49
I could see her not expecting it, though, and being like, what the heck is this?

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