Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Hi, I'm Dani Shapiro.
We were in the car, like a rolling stone came on, and he said, there's a line in there about your mother.
And I said, what?
What I would do if I didn't feel like I was being accepted is choose an identity that other people can't have. I knew something had happened to me in the middle of the night, but I couldn't hold on to what had happened.
These are just a few of the moving and important stories on my 13th season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome to Decoding Women's Health. I'm Dr. Elizabeth Poynter, Chair of Women's Health and Gynecology at the Adria Health Institute in New York City. I'll be talking to top researchers and clinicians and bringing vital information about midlife women's health directly to you.
100% of women go through menopause. Even if it's natural, why should we suffer through it?
Listen to Decoding Women's Health with Dr. Elizabeth Poynter on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Michael Lewis here. My best-selling book, The Big Short, tells the story of the buildup and burst of the US housing market back in 2008. A decade ago, The Big Short was made into an Academy Award-winning movie, and now I'm bringing it to you for the first time. as an audiobook narrated by yours truly.
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Chapter 2: What baffling text did Kendrick receive after his date?
You don't hear the term lowlife anymore. I also like the see ya. It sounds bad, but I've sent worse texts to my mother before, and she still loves me, so there's a chance there's a good shot at redemption here. Did we hear, did you respond to her? No, I just tried to call her, but she just sent me the voicemail immediately. You didn't, like, like it or anything? Thumbs up.
That's a little bit of a point. He emphasizes it. Okay. Yeah, let us do the dirty work for you. I feel you, man. So now we're going to try again, see if she picks up. I'm going to dial her number right now. Here we go. All right. Hello? Oh. Why'd you go, hello? I don't know, because she's not going to want to talk to us because of that text. Maybe the sigh. Hey, is this Danielle?
Who's on the phone? Good morning. Hello. Yes, a whole radio show is on the phone right now, eager to talk to you. We'll call Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. I'm a little nervous to talk to you, Danielle, to be honest. Why are you guys calling me? Good question. We do this segment called a second date update.
I'm not sure if you're familiar with that, but it's where we help out our listeners who went out on a date with somebody and they're not getting a second one to try and figure out why something went wrong, if there was a mistake that happened. We figured there must be some sort of thing that went wrong based on the text message that you sent to our friend Kendrick the other day. Yeah. Oh, God.
It was not hard to decipher. Yeah. Well, I will tell you this. I don't want anything to do with him, so I don't. Yeah. I think that that's clear. I think he's just totally confused as to why. Yes. Well, I don't like people who go through my personal things and make me feel uncomfortable. Go through your personal things? Yeah. I'm not sure what exactly you mean by that. Well, I'll tell you.
I don't know what he's told you or whatever happened. But he was in my business, like literally in my bag, my wallet business. What? What? How did he go through your purse, your wallet? What do you mean? I had to use the restroom. So I asked him if he'd hold my stuff for me. Were you seated already at this point or is this while you were waiting? Because he said there was a wait.
He said there was a long wait. While we were waiting, I went to the restroom. Oh, while you were waiting, you were like not in the, I mean, maybe lobby or something. Gotcha. Okay. So my purse was only out of my possession for a moment, but I think that's when he went in my bag and snatched my stuff. What stuff? Wait, now you're accusing him of stealing something from your bag?
Well, it surely isn't there anymore. And it sounds minute, but for me, it's the principal. What did he take? My Jamba Juice card. Oh, like a gift card? A gift card? Oh, what? Was it loose or was it in your wallet? It was in my wallet, right in the front of my wallet. So why is it in my purse to even go in my wallet? Did you see him go through your purse and take your card?
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Chapter 3: How did Kendrick describe his first impression of Danielle?
Or are you just assuming that because you're in the bathroom? I don't have to because how it's not going to jump out of my wallet. I don't know. I swear things can jump out. It's so weird to have such a specific thing be stolen. Like if he was going to steal from you, it'd be like, I don't know, credit card or something. And why would he call us to get you on the phone?
Hello, that's what I'm trying to figure out.
Okay. That's easy. He doesn't know that she knows. Okay. And you don't know that he knows that he's been listening on the other line of this phone call the entire time waiting to talk to you. Oh, my God. You know what I mean? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, why are you saying all this stuff about me? I can't even defend myself. Well, that's now your chance to defend yourself. I need to hear this.
Yeah, sorry. He's been on the other line listening, if that wasn't clear.
Yeah, he heard everything.
Which, I mean, you need to tell him. Well, first of all, Kendrick, what were you doing in my purse? And why the hell would you take my Jamba Juice card? I don't like having my name dragged through the mud like this without me being able to defend myself or say something. So say it. You're not saying you didn't. Yeah, are you saying you're innocent that you didn't take it? Well, no, I mean, I did.
I took it. Oh, no way. I thought you were about to, like, just. I knew it.
I told you that. Okay.
You were right. Kendrick, dude. You were wrong. What the hell, man? Why would you go through her wallet and steal from her? And then wonder why she's not. You don't understand, guys. You don't understand. Oh, my God. I needed it for my ex. Your ex? How would the excuse be badder? Call the lowlife and you couldn't connect this. Kendrick, that's a weird statement, dude. Can you explain?
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Chapter 4: What unusual joke did Kendrick make during their date?
Can we reimburse her for the Jamba Juice? Well, Brooke, it's not Danielle's ex-versary. It's Kendrick and his exes. So that's not fair. The only thing that's fair to do is to offer Kendrick and Danielle a second date paid for by us. Oh, you're out of your mind. And a gift card. And a gift card. I won't compare him with a 12-foot pole. Yeah. Okay.
Danielle, that was the most appropriate response ever. Kendrick wants more gift cards. Yeah. I know Kendrick's up for it. All right, so, Danielle, that's a no from you. It's an absolute no. Okay, an absolutely no. Do you know what we never heard is whether or not his ex was excited about the gift card she got. Oh, my God. Okay, Kendrick, how did the gift go?
She likes Jamba Juice, so that part worked out. There we go. We'll have a happy ending on this one. Good work, Kendrick. Oh, man. Exaversary is a new term that I did not know about. That is not what we're concentrating on here, Jeff. How many years do you think it's going to take before Webster's picks that up? Yeah. They've got yeet in the dictionary. Exaversary needs a spot in those pages.
Jeff, how long does an exaversary last? The lifetime or 10 years? No one is doing this. No one is picking that up, Jeff. Celebrators? Yeah, it could be a thing. I just still can't believe he was baffled when she called him a lowlife and couldn't put it together. But he went through her things for a good reason. No! For someone else? He's not even with him! For ex-love. Yes.
The thought that counts. It's a good reminder to reach out to an ex and tell them no hard feelings. That's what we're going to take. And I have a Jamba Juice gift card coming your way. Yeah. And if you also need some help with your dating life, we can step in and do that for you. Call that person who's not calling you back.
By the way, you can go check out all of our second dates wherever you get your podcasts on Apple, on Spotify, all of it at Brooke and Jeffrey. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. You know your date night is going well if you and your crush make it all the way to the dance floor for a slow jam. Dang. Now we're talking. Put on that music. Put hands on hips. Sway back and forth a little.
Don't get too close. Maybe lay a little smooch on their upper back. Wait a minute. Upper back?
What?
Are you a giraffe? How are you getting there? That's a weird angle. Am I turned around? Front to back dancing? No. Are you getting twerked on? What happens, though, if you get to that point, but you don't make it all the way through the song? Oh, what do you mean? Someone cut in? Well, no, that's what happened with one of our listeners.
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Chapter 5: What surprising accusation did London make against Kendrick?
Yes! Thank you, Jeffrey. Why are you stopping this? All right, so first of all, first of all, I know what she heard. Wait, what did she hear? Yeah, groaning, noises, and I can see you. So once again, I'm in all this pain. I'm trying to figure out, you know, you go to the website, you go to online.
No, guys, he's laying on the couch, vacuum underneath a blanket, perched like a tent, and he's making noises. Oh, dang. Okay, okay. Wait a minute. RJ understands how crazy this sounds. It sounds and looks crazy. Wait, vacuum? Let me explain. Is it just the hose? The pain is intense. I'm like, let me just look up online remedies for relieving pain in your ankle.
And I came across an article that says you can use the suction of the vacuum to help circulate the blood in the swollen area. She's laughing. London's laughing. Think about it. This sounds ridiculous. Okay, so hold on. It sounds like, Jose, you are on RJ's side there. You think he was just vacuuming his ankle?
If you've ever sprained your ankle and gone to physical therapy like when I did in football, they massage and they try to get blood flow. I've never heard of suction, but technically he is right. If you can get blood flowing around the area. Did the nurse massage your ankle with their mouth? No, not mouth. There were no vacuums. Why wouldn't the ankle be on the ground to do said vacuuming?
Why would it be under a blanket? I didn't track with a lot of injuries. No vacuums. No vacuums. RJ, seriously, I was happy that you left without any question. And I figured after your night, your wild night with my vacuum, that you got what you wanted. London, no. Did you keep the vacuum after that or did you throw it away? No, and it was my neighbor's vacuum.
Oh, no.
Should we have been calling Hoover for your second date update? I mean, I'm hoping that he didn't use the vacuum the way I'm pretty sure he did because I was cleaning up cat poop earlier with that. Oh, no. Oh, I'm going to be sick. Okay. Gross. All right. Bottom line, I did not use that vacuum for what you thought or what it seems like I was using it for. I promise. Okay.
Benefit of the doubt, I guess. I doubt that. And you know what? The only reason I didn't even bring that up with these guys is because I thought you were asleep. I didn't hear anything. Oh, I'm sure you did. I'm sure you did. I don't know if that helps your argument, dude.
I will say, RJ, one quick and easy way to prove it to her is you could just forward on that link of that article about the vacuum and the injuries. I will send it right now. I feel bad for this guy. He literally is like in the worst pain, can't sleep, trying to help himself, and we're all here making fun of him. I think he helped himself. I didn't mean like that.
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