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But You Look So Good

The Pity Model: When Good Intentions Miss the Mark

18 Nov 2025

Description

We often hear about the medical and social models of disability — but there’s another one quietly shaping attitudes toward people with chronic illness and disability: the pity model, sometimes called the charity model.This model positions people as tragic or brave simply for existing, creating distance rather than connection. It can show up in fundraising drives, well-meaning comments, or systems that treat support as generosity rather than rights.In this episode, we unpack how pity disguises itself as kindness, how it impacts self-worth and inclusion, and what it takes to move from sympathy to solidarity.⁠Free Webinar - All I Want For Christmas... Is My Sanity - Preparing for Christmas Living with a Chronic Health Condition⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)⁠⁠⁠⁠But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)⁠If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit⁠ ⁠Befrienders Worldwide⁠⁠.⁠⁠Instagram @butyoulooksogoodpodcast⁠

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