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Chapter 1: What insights does Richard Osman share about Sussex?
Welcome to Chatterbix, everyone. Welcome to Chatterbix. I didn't get that whole sentence. Welcome to... Welcome to Chatterbix. I don't want to... If a guest ever listens back to this, go, oh, sorry to putting you out, David. It's just because I just feel tired. They don't listen back. No. No, they don't. In fact, this is... No one will be listening to this bit. No, it's a fucking point.
I thought that. We said in the last one there's no point doing this. Well, this isn't a surprise guest, though, is it? Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, so they might. So this, we should be saying something useful. What should we say? Yeah, go on. No, you do it. No, you do it. No, I don't want to. Today we're talking to Richard Osman. You know Richard, don't you? I know Richard, yes.
I really like Richard. He's lovely. A nice man. Genuinely lovely man.
Chapter 2: How does Richard Osman view the world of game shows?
And I am... Right, I'm going to be honest. I'm intimidated around him. What, because of his intelligence? Big old brain, yeah. We've talked about this before, but... I'm not. I want to go head-to-head with him. I'd love to watch him batting you mentally. Oh, that's nice. He would. I'd love to watch him batter you mentally. That's nice. On mental health day or whatever it is today.
Clip, cancel, crap. Batter you mentally. It's all right to say, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Well, it's going in whether you email me and say take it out or not. You have all the power, don't you? It really is. Is Richard super clever? Yeah, but, like, he's so clever he doesn't have to wield it. Who wields it that you know who isn't that clever?
Well, no, I don't want to say a name, but some people sort of... Well, I can think of four. I can think of four. Well, text me. LAUGHTER
four very specific and a sketch group no the goodies oh my god I sent it to them I started writing their name in the top you know who's oh right oh so you know them well enough to be actually this is terrible no it's terrible come on tell me okay okay ah fucking hell right I'll put one I can't be bothered to write four why it'll take 25 seconds I'm just going to send one. Do you know what?
I'm going to have a guess.
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Chapter 3: What was Richard Osman's role in 'Deal or No Deal'?
I'm guessing who this person is. Oh, go on then. Text me. I don't think I'm going to be right. Is this one of the four? I don't think this is going to be right, but I'm going for it anyway. New game show. Yes. You're joking. Yes. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. Yeah, and this is why. Oh, that's spooky. Yeah, we could never be. I think Richard almost hides his, like, he's so normal.
Like, when you sort of talk to him, you sort of go, oh, yeah, that's insightful. Yeah. Right. Okay, but it's not like clever clogsy. You know what I mean? Like, it's kind of like, yeah, it's like he's hiding his light under a bushel. Do you say bushel? Ask Richard. First question. Ah, here he is. That's a relief, isn't it? Hello. Hi, Richard. Hi, Richard.
Chapter 4: How did Richard Osman come up with new TV ideas?
Hey, everyone. How are you? I'm really well. How are you, boys? Yeah, good. Good. Where are you? At home in London. Oh, you are at home. In West London.
Lovely to meet you, Richard. You haven't met David, have you?
I haven't. How are you, David? Long time listener, first time caller. Do you listen?
No, don't ask that question, Joe. Oh, God. Don't put him under pressure. Have you listened to any of our episodes?
Yes, I was listening this very morning to you talking about White Soap Fred. Oh, God.
Oh, I grew up in East Grinstead, Richard. Let's talk... I grew up in East Grinstead. Let's talk West Sussex.
You grew up in East Grinstead? Yeah. Is this on air so far? Are we just... How we're doing it.
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Chapter 5: What makes a successful game show format?
You're not happy with how it's gone so far?
This is it. This is it, great.
Do you think this is unputoutable?
Just as long as I know. Because sometimes when you go on radio shows, you sort of walk in a radio studio and they're so casual. They'll be like, they're saying, hey, how are you? Nice to see you. And you want to go, I'm so sorry, are we on air? Or are we still listening to Hugh Lewis and the News?
I can't work it out. Do we need to apologise? What have we done that's either incorrect or unconventional? Which of those is it, do you think?
What have you done that's incorrect?
Yeah, the way we do it, do you think it's incorrect or unusual or turning the whole format upside down?
Knowing your work, both of you, I think everything you do is to be expected.
you are certainly not broadcasting out of character I'll say that right but listen I'm really happy to talk about I'm really happy to talk about East Grinstead oh yeah David's really keen did you go to you didn't go to Walden Park did you did I go to Walden Park David yeah just a bit did I beat Walden Park 4-0 in a football match yes I did did you did you score was I in goal doubt it how old are you David
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Chapter 6: How does Richard Osman define a good quiz show?
Yeah. What are you doing? I was sat on the sofa Saturday night and my, God, nearly said sister then. My wife said, she went, oh, look at this. Someone had taken a photo of you in Forest Row. Yeah, yeah. And she went, I hate people who do things like that. Why can't they just let him enjoy his afternoon? And I thought, I'm going to talk to him about Forest Row. Oh, isn't it lovely, Forest Row?
I bumped into Ben Elton in Forest Row. Yeah, I bumped into Ben Elton a few weeks ago. First time I'd ever met him. I was so... You know, like... Someone who is so important in your childhood. And then you meet them and they're lovely. I was so thrilled he was nice.
Oh, was he lovely? Yeah.
I was talking to him and Abe Edmondson. Yes, what? I was having like an out-of-body experience. Oh, fucking hell.
Richard, Richard, Richard, I've got more to say. I've just moved from Hartfield to Devon. You have? Do you know Hartfield? Yeah, do you know Hartfield? Oh, do I know Hartfield? Yes.
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Chapter 7: What are Richard Osman's top three game shows of all time?
I was in Hartfield last week.
Hello? Yeah, I've just moved from there. You have not. Yeah, I have. How are you affording that? That's massive. Oh, no, we had the shit one at the bottom. It's broken up. To be clear, Richard, it's broken up into many, many flats.
But Hartfield is lovely. Yeah. My friend Eddie Shaw, who I was at school with, lots of Hartfield kids at Walden Park, my school,
I was working in the cafe in Forest Road. Writing in the cafe, not working in the cafe. No, I wasn't serving. I was writing. Oh, gotcha. Yeah, yeah. I feel like you're zoning out a bit now. No, I'm not at all.
No, what I want to say is, maybe, because I'm from Sussex, maybe we'll move back to Sussex at some point. So we were sort of looking around. And all that bit, people don't know Sussex. Some people, Joe, might not know Sussex as well as David and I.
well no for example me that part of Sussex well that's because you're from home which pretends to be Sussex but isn't at all so that part of Sussex well yeah we are Sussex it's called Ashdown Forest I was in Ashdown Forest on Sunday and it's the most beautiful people don't know about it it's so beautiful it's gorgeous it's such a lovely place so peaceful and I went to the sort of school
Warden Park's a big comprehensive school in the middle of Sussex. And so many people who went there stayed in Sussex. So they're all still around in Sussex. So when I go back there, all my friends still live there.
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Chapter 8: What future projects does Richard Osman hint at?
So you sort of think, oh, maybe I should go. Can you ever go back, Joe?
No, God, no. No? No, my thoughts are no. But how old are you? I'm 47. Okay. I've got to be honest, David said to me before this podcast, I really want to speak to Richard about Sussex. Yeah. And I didn't think he meant it. No, I was going to say. I didn't think it'd go in this hard. Do you remember the beast of Ashdown Forest? Do you remember the beast? Yeah, I do. What's the beast of...
I thought it was you, David, no? I saw it. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. Did you really? I've got a story about this. Tell us about it. Paint us a picture. I was working at a petrol station on a road between East Grinstead and Tunbridge Wells when I was 18. I went round the back of the petrol station to have a fag or something, and I saw it in the woods. How big? How close? I can't remember.
It had a muscular back and it was quick. You sure it wasn't a motorbike? Well, I went into the shop and I said, I've just seen it. And the guy went, you sure it wasn't a bin bag? Oh, yeah, it's a bin bag, mate. No, it was a beast. Anyway, the Forest Ranger came in and I said, I think I've seen it. He went, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Did they find out what it was?
Was it like a cougar or something?
Don't know. Do these things exist because people in the 80s, like rich people in the 80s, were buying like dangerous animals and then the law changed and they just let them go? Is that true?
Yeah, I think there's lots of private zoos, aren't there? Especially in that neck of the woods.
Are there loads of private zoos? What? Yeah.
There's those Hamlet Zoo Park.
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