Richard Diamond, Private Detective: The Misplaced Laundry Case 09/06/1950

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Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio 29 min 3 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 3 hours ago
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Choice Classic Radio 0:00
Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we bring to you the greatest old-time radio shows. Like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube, and thank you for donating at choiceclassicradio.com.
Unknown 0:20
Listen while the makers of Rexall drug products and 10,000 independent Rexall family druggists bring you Dick Powell as Richard Diamond, private detective.
Unknown 0:49
Good evening. This is your Rexall family druggist speaking to you for the 10,000 independent druggists who have made the word Rexall part of our own store names and who recommend and sell the 2,000 or more drug products made by the Rexall Drug Company. Like Rexall Aspirin, for example. There's no faster-acting aspirin made than Rexall Aspirin, When swallowed with water, Rexall aspirin is ready to go to work for you even before it reaches your stomach. Quality like that is what we family druggists are talking about when we tell you you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall. Good health to all from Rexall. Now, your Rexall family druggist brings you a transcribed half hour with Richard Diamond, private detective, starring Dick Powell.

How does a laundry mix-up pull Richard Diamond into a dangerous case?

Richard Diamond 1:58
Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh. Yeah? Yeah?
Helen 2:06
Well, what's the matter with you?
Richard Diamond 2:08
Oh, hello, Helen. Nothing has gone right all day.
Helen 2:10
I called your office, but you left an hour ago. What took you so long getting home?
Richard Diamond 2:13
Well, I had to stop by the laundry. I didn't have any clean shirts.
Helen 2:16
Are you forgetting we're supposed to be at my mother's at 7?
Richard Diamond 2:18
No, honey, I'm not forgetting. What time is it now? A
Helen 2:20
little after 6.
Richard Diamond 2:21
Oh, nuts.
Helen 2:23
What in the world's wrong?
Richard Diamond 2:24
Well, first of all, I haven't seen anything that looks like a client for two weeks.
Unknown 2:28
That's unusual.
Richard Diamond 2:29
I only got two hours sleep last night.
Unknown 2:30
You're complaining.
Richard Diamond 2:32
Oh, no, no, no, honey. Then
Unknown 2:33
what is
Richard Diamond 2:33
it? Well, that stupid laundry gave me the wrong bundle. I can't go over to your mother's with my bare chest hanging
Helen 2:39
out. Well, can't you go back and get the right bundle?
Richard Diamond 2:41
Well, it closes at six.
Helen 2:42
Oh, be practical. It was the laundry's fault, so use one of the shirts out of the wrong bundle. They'll have it cleaned.
Richard Diamond 2:47
Well, what if it doesn't fit?
Helen 2:48
Make it fit. I won't have you being late
Richard Diamond 2:51
again. Well, all right, all right. I'll see you at seven.
Helen 2:54
I still love you.
Richard Diamond 2:55
Then tell your mother not to suggest Monopoly again. I have to get some sleep tonight. The shirt wasn't bad. A little short in the arms, but with my charm bracelet, no one would notice. I shaved, cussed a little, showered, cussed some more. Really let loose with some choice ones while I got dressed and kept it up all the way over to Helen's. She walked out in the green number that plunged so far it could have been arrested for attempted suicide. Sure cure for cussing.
Helen 3:23
Like it?
Richard Diamond 3:23
The guy who went off the Golden Gate didn't have half to drop.
Helen 3:26
Oh, stop perspiring and come on.
Richard Diamond 3:32
Helen's mother lived in a 40-room vault on Long Island. We had a wonderful dinner. Soup, salad, pheasant on the glass. The only thing missing was cracked crab. Until Helen's mother suggested Monopoly, then I nearly shelled her and ducked her in the mustard. About one o'clock, my eyes felt like two, three-minute eggs lost in a sandpile, so I gave up and went to sleep right in the middle of a tricky trade for my railroad. Helen apologized, looked at me hatefully when I suggested a piggyback ride to the car, and by two o'clock, she dropped me in front of my flat on 53rd.
Helen 4:05
You were horrible.
Richard Diamond 4:08
Oh, well, how did I know your mother had the electric company, too?
Helen 4:10
Oh, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Richard Diamond 4:13
All right. Kiss?
Helen 4:15
You can't even keep your eyes open.
Richard Diamond 4:16
This is going to stop me. I do my best work with my eyes closed.
Helen 4:20
Oh. All right.
Richard Diamond 4:23
Honey, are you growing a beard?
Helen 4:26
That's my mink coat.
Richard Diamond 4:28
Oh.
Helen 4:30
Night. Good
Richard Diamond 4:38
night. Evening, friend.
Unknown 4:46
My name's Diamond.
Richard Diamond 4:47
Yeah, what do you want?
Unknown 4:49
I got some laundry that belongs to you.
Richard Diamond 4:50
That's nice. Nothing like getting your laundry at two o'clock in the morning.
Unknown 4:53
You got mine.
Richard Diamond 4:54
We'll stop around about noon tomorrow and we'll swap.
Unknown 4:56
I'd like it now, friend. I gotta leave town.
Richard Diamond 4:59
Oh, look, I'm a little tired, friend. I
Unknown 5:00
want the laundry.
Richard Diamond 5:02
Yeah, well, you're dealing with a bad customer. I just traded Pennsylvania Avenue for one lousy railroad.

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