The Saint: Formula for Death 03/25/1951

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Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio 29 min 3 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What is the opening premise of the Saint’s “Formula for Death” episode?

Choice Classic Radio Host 0:00
Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows. Like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube, and thank you for donating at Choice ClassicRadio dot com.
Vincent Price 0:35
The Adventures of the Saints, starring Vincent Price.
Vincent Price 0:50
The Saint. Based on characters created by Leslie Charteris and known to millions from books, magazines, and motion pictures, The Robin Hood of Modern Crime now comes transcribed to radio, starring Hollywood's brilliant and talented actor Vincent Price as. The saint.
Bill Conrad 1:13
Ah, good afternoon, Mr Templar.
Simon Templer 1:15
Oh, good afternoon.
Bill Conrad 1:16
Well, come in, sir. Come in.
Simon Templer 1:18
You're very kind.
Bill Conrad 1:19
Eh?
Simon Templer 1:19
And it isn't everyone who'd invite a mere stranger in like this? The fact that it's my own apartment into which I'm being invited is Oh uh Did you uh find what you were looking for?
Bill Conrad 1:31
Oh dear, then you can tell I've been searching through your things, but I took such pains to be neat. I abhor disorder.
Simon Templer 1:38
That's exactly the way I feel about fat intruders who practice burglary in my apartment.
Bill Conrad 1:44
Burglary? Oh, really, sir. Do I look like a burglar?
Simon Templer 1:47
You look like a fastidious rhinoceros with a taste for Bond Street tailoring.
Bill Conrad 1:51
You see how appearances can be deceiving. I assure you, sir, another thing, I am not. Is it a rhinoceros?
Simon Templer 1:58
That makes two things you aren't. Suppose we trade him for one thing
Bill Conrad 2:02
you are. Very well. For one thing. I am an unhappy man. Your wife doesn't understand you. No, the reason for my unhappiness is I no longer understand myself. I've changed. It worries me. Now take last night, for example. Yeah? It was such a commonplace activity, the sort of thing a man in my profession soon gets used to. And yet all during it and afterwards I Found myself actually feeling sorry for the poor chap. Oh, and uh what was happening to the poor chap? Oh, the usual thing placing lighted matches under the fellow's fingernails, pressing burning cigars under the soles of his feet.
Simon Templer 2:38
Sticking pins into the calf of his leg.
Bill Conrad 2:40
Yes, exactly. Prosaic, unoriginal, but still highly effective, eh? If they weren't effective, it's hardly likely that I would be here, wouldn't you say? The point is why are you here, Fatty? The name is Archibald. Archibald? Roland P. Archibald. Obviously I have come to regain possession of my property. What property? What does it look like? An envelope, Mr. Templer. A small manila envelope.
Simon Templer 3:06
And the man you tortured said he gave it to me?
Bill Conrad 3:08
Yes. Fernandes said your name very clearly. Even though we were doing a magnificent job of twisting his arm at the time.
Simon Templer 3:15
And he was doing a pretty good job of pulling your leg. What do you mean? Look, Roland P. Archibald, my tailor is due here at any moment with a newly made suit that I am very eager to try on. I'd be obliged to you if you picked up your marbles and Nice. That depends on whom it's being pointed at.
Bill Conrad 3:35
It's a Wolfer, one of the finest automatics the Germans ever made.
Simon Templer 3:39
I suppose you'd suspect an ulterior motive if I asked you for a closer look. The
Bill Conrad 3:44
envelope, please. I've gone to considerable trouble, Mr. Templer. My patience is exhausted. Thoroughly exhausted. I'm not as thin as I used to be. Should we break some rye crisp together? The envelope for the last time.
Simon Templer 3:57
Very well, I

How does Simon Templar first become entangled with the mysterious envelope?

Simon Templer 3:58
Suppose next you'll be pestering me for a stamp.
Bill Conrad 4:01
Don't come any closer, Saint.
Simon Templer 4:03
But I have to get the envelope. I just don't happen to have it on me. I've
Bill Conrad 4:07
searched this apartment thoroughly. It has to be on your person. Outwitted Kershew. I'll take it, please. Hand it over. All
Simon Templer 4:14
right. Wouldn't it be amusing if when I reached into my pocket instead of finding an envelope I found a gun? You're
Bill Conrad 4:23
Have a gun, Mr Templar?
Simon Templer 4:25
A gun? Of course not. I was just
Bill Conrad 4:29
Keep your hands where they are, Saint.
Simon Templer 4:30
But the envelope
Bill Conrad 4:31
Now raise your hands, please. Higher. Thank you. I'll remove the envelope from your pocket myself. Playing it cagey,
Simon Templer 4:40
hmm Chubby?
Bill Conrad 4:41
In my profession, caution is the difference between living and dying. Now which pocket? This one.
Simon Templer 4:50
Yeah. It is a nice gun. You've shown it to me when I asked, I wouldn't have had to kick in your bay window.
Bill Conrad 4:58
Yeah. Chick is going to cost you your life.
Simon Templer 5:01
Well, everything's expensive these days.

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