The Saint: The Big Swindle 02/25/1951

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Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio 29 min 2 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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Who introduces The Saint and what is the episode setup?

Choice Classic Radio Host 0:00
Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we bring to you the greatest old-time radio shows. Like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube, and thank you for donating at choiceclassicradio.com.
Vincent Price 0:35
The Adventures of the Saints, starring Vincent Price.
Vincent Price 0:50
The Saints, based on characters created by Leslie Charteris, and known to millions from books, magazines, and motion pictures. The Robin Hood of modern crime now comes transcribed to radio, starring Hollywood's brilliant and talented actor Vincent Price as... The Saint.
Simon Templer (The Saint) / Vincent Price 1:10
Just a moment. Yes? Are you Simon Templer? The man they call The Saint? Yes, I am. Who am I? What do I get if I come up with the correct answer?
Joe Fowler (insurance detective) / Jack Moyles 1:24
Let me in and I'll show you.
Simon Templer (The Saint) / Vincent Price 1:26
You're in. If you're carrying your laundry in that little black bag, Jack Benny is in. I said I'll show you. There. Oh, laundry never looked like this. Don't touch. Just look. It's almost all big bills. The whole bag full of big bills. What did you do? Sell your car to Honest John? That's what I want you to tell me. You mean you don't know how you got all this money? I don't know anything. That goes for who I am, where I came from, where I'm going. I see. An hour ago, I woke up in the taxi. We're driving through the park. I got a bump on the head the size of an ostrich egg in this bag full of sugar beside me. When I wake up from a bump on the head, I'm lucky if I find an aspirin beside me. I got no wallet, no papers, no keys, not even a matchbook.
Simon Templer (The Saint) / Vincent Price 2:13
My pockets are empty and so's my head. I remember nothing. And the cab driver? Oh, he's waiting for me downstairs. Says he picked me up on a midtown street. Says I gave him a ten spot to drive me through the park while I took a nap. So for a thousand dollars from this joy-jammed bag, Saint, who am I? My friend, I'm afraid you have amnesia. You'd better tear some doctor away from his cigarette test and have yourself looked at. You're nuts. You go to a doctor with a knock on your noggin, the doctor calls the cops, the cops come calling and... Write your own finish. You don't like cops? With a hat like I'm wearing, I'm not even positive I ate spinach. It isn't what I might think of cops that's important, Saint.
Simon Templer (The Saint) / Vincent Price 2:56
It's what they might think of me. You mean the money? I mean exactly nothing else. Anybody carrying this kind of dough these days is... Either been stealing from a bank or holding on to the government. No hospital, Saint. No doctors, no cops, no explanations, no jails. You. Me. You. Once again, Saint, for a thousand bucks, who am I? All right. A thousand dollars goes to the Red Cross in anticipation of the day that I become a national disaster. You just made a deal. As for you, you'd better go into my guest room, lock yourself and your money in, and sleep off that bump, huh? Before it grows into another head and wants to know who it is. You'll find sleeping pills in the medicine chest if you need them. I'll need them.
Simon Templer (The Saint) / Vincent Price 3:40
You're going somewhere? I want to see if that cab driver left his meter running. Thanks a lot, Mr. Templer. You're very welcome, Mr... I can't help you there. For the time being, I'll just call you Mr. Sugar.

What mystery does the man with the black bag present to Simon Templer?

Mr. Sugar
Murphy (bartender/storyteller) / Sidney Miller 4:02
Mister, all I know is the guy climbs in the cab at 48 Madison, hands me a tent spot, tells me to take it off through the park while he snatches 40.
Simon Templer (The Saint) / Vincent Price 4:10
He handed you the money before you took him riding?
Murphy (bartender/storyteller) / Sidney Miller 4:12
Yeah, before.
Simon Templer (The Saint) / Vincent Price 4:14
Let me have how come.
Murphy (bartender/storyteller) / Sidney Miller 4:16
Because I didn't want him in my cab. That's how come. The way he was bobbing and waving, I thought he was lushed. I didn't want no trouble with no drunks. So you had a little argument? A little discussion. Then he takes out a $10 bill and forces it on me. So I stop discussing and start driving. The $10 bill, he took it out of his pocket, huh? If you know any other place a guy can carry his dough, let me know and I'll take the bill off of my wife's neck when we go to bed nights. Out of his pocket. What's the matter? You think I'm lying?
Simon Templer (The Saint) / Vincent Price 4:44
You're not lying. Now I know how my old grandmother felt when the medicine man swore that the snake oil would cure her rheumatism.
Murphy (bartender/storyteller) / Sidney Miller 4:52
Having trouble finding out what the score is, huh?
Simon Templer (The Saint) / Vincent Price 4:54
I don't care what the score is.

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