Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
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Well, she was going out with the electric cars and then she got the Dodge Ram. And now she's happy. I saw Roots with my mom.
I thought your mom was never there. And now you watch Roots with her? I didn't watch Roots with my mom. Guest number one. Remember always when you're on, like, the Tonight Show, The Cup, you always had, like, guest number one on it. Yeah. How are you, pal? Good to see you, brother. How you doing? I'm doing well. I hear. I hear all about you. Your show's better than ever.
You're getting your walk on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Your divorce went through. You must be on cloud nine.
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Chapter 2: How did Adam Carolla's early career shape his perspective on success?
And it was a prevailing wage job. After the one in 94? Yeah. No, pre the one in 94. 72 was the first one, I think, and then 94. But they were going to retrofit all these old brick buildings in Koreatown. And this is about 87, maybe 88. I mean, every year they say it's... Big one.
It's coming. And I'm sure it is, but boy... They did kind of Boy Who Cried Wolf Me a lot. I'm sure the plates are not happy, those tectonic plates. They're unstable. They're like your bipolar girlfriend. It could happen at any minute. Or you could have a lovely dinner. I don't know.
It's just hard to say. But bad news. This is all unreinforced concrete. So if it hits now, we're dead. This place is going nowhere. We're just going to be entombed here. It's fucking going nowhere. With all the money I put into it, this is going fucking nowhere. It'll be the last thing standing. So I got this job doing earthquake rehab because it paid like $18 an hour, which was big bucks.
They called it rehab. Earthquake rehab, yeah. It's hysterical. Seismic work, they call it. In California, even, yeah, the Betty Ford van was parked out front. So I get this job, and it's a city job. It's a government job, and they need a certain amount of women and African-American. They need representation. Well, we can't find any black guys who know earthquake rehab. Don't forget the lesbians.
I don't know if they can check for that, but there were few on there. So we end up. with a black man named Chipper. And this guy's going to college, and it comes from money, but he's gonna get this job working earthquake rehab and making good money. And he doesn't know anything. He doesn't know anything, and he's not a carpenter.
He's there, they hired him, because he was black, and they need representation on the job site. I was by then. Really? Because I'd been doing it for about five years before I got there. Use me, Jesus. But here's the part that's interesting. There's a guy on my crew named Jeff who's always wanted to be a fireman, but he's white and he can't get on.
So he's a carpenter, but his dream is to be a fireman. And years later, I ran into this guy, Chip, Chipper, the black man carpenter, when I was doing a school function thing, years later, I was already like a celebrity at that point. He said, hi. I said, hey, I remember all back in the day and everything. And I go, good. And he goes, that guy, Jeff, keep in touch with him? I go, no, not really.
He was a racist. I go, I don't think he was. He was a nice guy, whatever. No, he was racist. And I said, why? And he said, He hated me the whole time and I realized he hated you because he wanted to be a fireman but he couldn't because of his race and you were only hired because you're black and that reminded him of that and he like took it out on him. So it creates a weird
Hatfields and McCoys in the system.
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Chapter 3: How does discipline relate to personal success?
Discipline is super important in life. It really helps. It helps kids. It helps adults. Everything good out of life sort of comes from delayed gratification and discipline.
Chapter 4: What are the challenges of identity politics discussed?
Diet and exercise is really the daily discipline reminder. If you really think about, you know, if you think about, I'm climbing Mount Everest, all right, but that's a once in a lifetime discipline, you know, or I'm gonna get my pilot's license or some other thing, that's a discipline, or there's bootcamp and the Marines, but diet,
Every single day you wake up and you go, God, I'd love some Pop-Tarts. And then a little voice in your head goes, no, no, no. No, no, don't do it. Don't do it. You know what I mean? And that's you exercising discipline. Do you keep Pop-Tarts in the house? No, I wouldn't bring them in the house, but I will tell you this, and one more reason to hate it. Do you keep Pop-Tarts in the house?
I want answers to these questions, God damn it. Just the fruity ones, never the chocolate. These are the hard-hitting questions that you get on this show. I'll tell you, Bill. Do you keep Pop-Tarts in the house? Not like you're ever going to have any fucking kids, but one more reason not to have kids is Pop-Tarts will be in the house.
And when you have fucking kids, you open the pantry and you see a line of Pop-Tarts and breakfast cereals and cookies and s'mores and you just go, oh my God. And then you open the fridge and it's all the pizzas and Italian takeout and pasta and all the carbs and all the shit you're not supposed to eat.
It's all there. I had Fruity Pebbles in my pantry once.
Well, that's not the kids. That was my girlfriend. Yes. Yes, that's the kids in the pot. That's not, okay. So I open, you open your, you open the fridge at night and you'll find a whole pizza in there that they ate, you know, half of, and then you go. But they can get away with it. No, they can, but you're there. And you had a drink and you're starting to look at those Pop-Tarts.
In a real loving way. And then a point in your brain kicks in and he goes, no, no, don't do it. Don't do it. And that's the same thing that says, do another 10 minutes on the treadmill. Or you're working on, you're doing the monologue for your show and you're tired and you want to watch TV. But no, no, no, no. Let's give it a little more time. You got a book. There's a date.
It's got to be published. I have never phoned in one minute One minute. I've never phoned in one minute of politically incorrect, real time, 33 years on TV. That you can't get me on.
No, I absolutely. I watch and I can tell.
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Chapter 5: What are the implications of government overreach in personal lives?
That is not the fault of Zionists or anybody else in the world. but them. That's what they did from 2005 when they had it all to their own. They could have made it Abu Dhabi. No, it shouldn't be Miami Beach either. Miami Beach itself is too much for me. I once thought about moving to Miami Beach when the pollution here got so bad I couldn't see the sun for a week. But I pulled back.
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Chapter 6: How does Adam Carolla view California's permitting laws?
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Yeah, no, I get it. They created what they're living in. I don't know why that's so controversial.
Chapter 7: What are the challenges of discussing privilege and race in America?
I don't know why we are so energized with that.
I have a list of like 30 important things that Trump has done in the first year that I am against and that I do not like. His idea, his just sort of macro 30,000 feet idea that Western civilization is the civilization we should defend and that it is under attack and that Israel is the front line in that fight is right. And I am aligned with that point of view.
Does he carry it out the way I would like? No, he carries nothing out the way I would like. But I can't deny that that's the truth too. Western civilization, I believe in it. The elements of it that everyone in this country, not everyone, but lots of people just take for granted your free speech and your right to wear what you want and be who you want and love who you want.
This is not everywhere in the world. And this civilization that you seem to want to promote to this status of being the downtrodden people who deserve our most heartfelt sympathy, well, that's also the civilization that is most oppressive to women and gay people and other people that are sort of important to your coalition, I thought.
Well, I think of it this way, which is America is constantly comparing itself to some civilization that never existed. some utopian, you know, civilization. And it's really, I mean, it's really this because, you know, it's like, you know, we invented slavery.
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Chapter 8: How do personal networks influence success in America?
We were the only country in the world that ever engaged in this and stuff.
And it's like- I gotta stop you because there are people listening to this I hope not many because we have a very smart audience, who heard you say sarcastically, we invented slavery. And they went, yeah, we did. Because there are lots of people who think that.
Right, okay. So we didn't. Every nation and every civilization had slaves and we were probably late to the slaves.
It wasn't even really usually about race because they did it with people because travel was so difficult who lived near them.
Right. Who looked like them. Everybody's involved with this, and we had a war to stop it. And so all we can do is sort of compare ourselves to civilizations that either exist now or before. So it's almost like saying – You know, it's like saying, oh, you know, the Seattle Seahawks, 13-3 or 14-3 or whatever. Big whoop.
What about this team that never existed that went 17-0 for the last thousand years and won every Super Bowl? It's like no team has done that. You can compare yourself to other teams in the league. Didn't the Dolphins go 17-0? They went, I think, 14-0 or something. Maybe it was before the 17-game season. Yeah. Or maybe with the playoffs. I think it was a 14-game season.
14-game season, then playoffs, and whatever. Yes. One team ran the table one time. I'm just saying, don't shit on Don Shula, Elvis Presley, or Pop Tarts. Or Larry Zonka. When you're here. Right. Never. But... One team did it once. It's been six years. So here's what I'm saying. We don't compare ourselves to a team that never existed, that never lost a Super Bowl and never lost a game.
We have to compare ourselves to other teams in the league. And we are essentially the Pittsburgh Steelers that's done a lot of winning and had won a bunch of Super Bowls or maybe the 49ers or whatever it is. And then other places are the Cleveland Browns. And they've never won a Super Bowl and they've don't have more than 500-type seasons. There are always deficits.
But the whole point is, why are we comparing ourselves to teams that never existed?
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