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Club Random with Bill Maher

Adam Carolla | Club Random with Bill Maher

09 Feb 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

1.195 - 20.825 Bill Maher

Everyone has something they want to put out into the world, a business, a side hustle, a passion project, a thought they swear is worth sharing. Squarespace is the part where that actually becomes real. So stop waiting for the right time. Go to squarespace.com slash clubrandom for a free trial.

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21.286 - 42.309 Bill Maher

And when you're ready to launch, use offer code clubrandom to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Squarespace, make your idea look like it belongs. It's February. It's cold. You're tired, but you're still trying to be healthy this year. Make your life easier and sign up with Factor.

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42.509 - 69.913 Bill Maher

Fully prepared meals designed by dieticians, made by chefs, and ready before you can talk yourself into ordering takeout. Head to factormeals.com slash random50off and use code random50off to get 50% off and free breakfast for a year. New subscribers only varies by plan. One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active.

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69.893 - 96.165 Bill Maher

car shield helps cover expensive car repairs and connects you with ase certified mechanics nationwide they've got 24 7 roadside assistance courtesy towing even rental car options so when your car gives up on life you don't have to because surprises are great at birthday parties less so on the freeway. Make a decision your wallet will love with CarShield.

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96.506 - 115.013 Bill Maher

Right now, CarShield is offering our listeners 20% off with the code random at carshield.com. I don't know about you, but I'm a big fan of green in all its forms. Get it? And for fellow lovers of, well, green, the Club Random merch store has you covered.

115.854 - 132.115 Bill Maher

Grinders, papers, and Zippo lighters, all designed to support your relationship with green, wink, wink, whatever, and whatever philosophy comes with that for you. Head to clubrandom.com and bring home some random.

134.98 - 146.276 Adam Carolla

Well, she was going out with the electric cars and then she got the Dodge Ram. And now she's happy. I saw Roots with my mom.

146.336 - 173.486 Bill Maher

I thought your mom was never there. And now you watch Roots with her? I didn't watch Roots with my mom. Guest number one. Remember always when you're on, like, the Tonight Show, The Cup, you always had, like, guest number one on it. Yeah. How are you, pal? Good to see you, brother. How you doing? I'm doing well. I hear. I hear all about you. Your show's better than ever.

173.566 - 180.834 Bill Maher

You're getting your walk on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Your divorce went through. You must be on cloud nine.

Chapter 2: How did Adam Carolla's early career shape his perspective on success?

1009.623 - 1031.374 Adam Carolla

And it was a prevailing wage job. After the one in 94? Yeah. No, pre the one in 94. 72 was the first one, I think, and then 94. But they were going to retrofit all these old brick buildings in Koreatown. And this is about 87, maybe 88. I mean, every year they say it's... Big one.

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1031.434 - 1056.807 Bill Maher

It's coming. And I'm sure it is, but boy... They did kind of Boy Who Cried Wolf Me a lot. I'm sure the plates are not happy, those tectonic plates. They're unstable. They're like your bipolar girlfriend. It could happen at any minute. Or you could have a lovely dinner. I don't know.

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1057.288 - 1080.659 Adam Carolla

It's just hard to say. But bad news. This is all unreinforced concrete. So if it hits now, we're dead. This place is going nowhere. We're just going to be entombed here. It's fucking going nowhere. With all the money I put into it, this is going fucking nowhere. It'll be the last thing standing. So I got this job doing earthquake rehab because it paid like $18 an hour, which was big bucks.

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1080.679 - 1111.027 Adam Carolla

They called it rehab. Earthquake rehab, yeah. It's hysterical. Seismic work, they call it. In California, even, yeah, the Betty Ford van was parked out front. So I get this job, and it's a city job. It's a government job, and they need a certain amount of women and African-American. They need representation. Well, we can't find any black guys who know earthquake rehab. Don't forget the lesbians.

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1111.447 - 1132.649 Adam Carolla

I don't know if they can check for that, but there were few on there. So we end up. with a black man named Chipper. And this guy's going to college, and it comes from money, but he's gonna get this job working earthquake rehab and making good money. And he doesn't know anything. He doesn't know anything, and he's not a carpenter.

1132.71 - 1154.444 Adam Carolla

He's there, they hired him, because he was black, and they need representation on the job site. I was by then. Really? Because I'd been doing it for about five years before I got there. Use me, Jesus. But here's the part that's interesting. There's a guy on my crew named Jeff who's always wanted to be a fireman, but he's white and he can't get on.

1154.504 - 1179.968 Adam Carolla

So he's a carpenter, but his dream is to be a fireman. And years later, I ran into this guy, Chip, Chipper, the black man carpenter, when I was doing a school function thing, years later, I was already like a celebrity at that point. He said, hi. I said, hey, I remember all back in the day and everything. And I go, good. And he goes, that guy, Jeff, keep in touch with him? I go, no, not really.

1180.248 - 1207.609 Adam Carolla

He was a racist. I go, I don't think he was. He was a nice guy, whatever. No, he was racist. And I said, why? And he said, He hated me the whole time and I realized he hated you because he wanted to be a fireman but he couldn't because of his race and you were only hired because you're black and that reminded him of that and he like took it out on him. So it creates a weird

1207.589 - 1210.213 Adam Carolla

Hatfields and McCoys in the system.

Chapter 3: How does discipline relate to personal success?

2685.569 - 2698.903 Adam Carolla

Discipline is super important in life. It really helps. It helps kids. It helps adults. Everything good out of life sort of comes from delayed gratification and discipline.

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Chapter 4: What are the challenges of identity politics discussed?

2699.643 - 2720.79 Adam Carolla

Diet and exercise is really the daily discipline reminder. If you really think about, you know, if you think about, I'm climbing Mount Everest, all right, but that's a once in a lifetime discipline, you know, or I'm gonna get my pilot's license or some other thing, that's a discipline, or there's bootcamp and the Marines, but diet,

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2720.77 - 2744.607 Adam Carolla

Every single day you wake up and you go, God, I'd love some Pop-Tarts. And then a little voice in your head goes, no, no, no. No, no, don't do it. Don't do it. You know what I mean? And that's you exercising discipline. Do you keep Pop-Tarts in the house? No, I wouldn't bring them in the house, but I will tell you this, and one more reason to hate it. Do you keep Pop-Tarts in the house?

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2744.727 - 2761.915 Adam Carolla

I want answers to these questions, God damn it. Just the fruity ones, never the chocolate. These are the hard-hitting questions that you get on this show. I'll tell you, Bill. Do you keep Pop-Tarts in the house? Not like you're ever going to have any fucking kids, but one more reason not to have kids is Pop-Tarts will be in the house.

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2762.03 - 2783.888 Adam Carolla

And when you have fucking kids, you open the pantry and you see a line of Pop-Tarts and breakfast cereals and cookies and s'mores and you just go, oh my God. And then you open the fridge and it's all the pizzas and Italian takeout and pasta and all the carbs and all the shit you're not supposed to eat.

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2783.908 - 2787.711 Bill Maher

It's all there. I had Fruity Pebbles in my pantry once.

2787.892 - 2815.847 Adam Carolla

Well, that's not the kids. That was my girlfriend. Yes. Yes, that's the kids in the pot. That's not, okay. So I open, you open your, you open the fridge at night and you'll find a whole pizza in there that they ate, you know, half of, and then you go. But they can get away with it. No, they can, but you're there. And you had a drink and you're starting to look at those Pop-Tarts.

2815.827 - 2840.659 Adam Carolla

In a real loving way. And then a point in your brain kicks in and he goes, no, no, don't do it. Don't do it. And that's the same thing that says, do another 10 minutes on the treadmill. Or you're working on, you're doing the monologue for your show and you're tired and you want to watch TV. But no, no, no, no. Let's give it a little more time. You got a book. There's a date.

2840.679 - 2852.435 Bill Maher

It's got to be published. I have never phoned in one minute One minute. I've never phoned in one minute of politically incorrect, real time, 33 years on TV. That you can't get me on.

2852.636 - 2855.48 Adam Carolla

No, I absolutely. I watch and I can tell.

Chapter 5: What are the implications of government overreach in personal lives?

3560.693 - 3586.777 Bill Maher

That is not the fault of Zionists or anybody else in the world. but them. That's what they did from 2005 when they had it all to their own. They could have made it Abu Dhabi. No, it shouldn't be Miami Beach either. Miami Beach itself is too much for me. I once thought about moving to Miami Beach when the pollution here got so bad I couldn't see the sun for a week. But I pulled back.

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3587.358 - 3609.782 Bill Maher

Well, here's something no one tells you when you buy a car. It's not done costing you money, ever. One minute it's running fine, the next minute a dashboard light comes on and suddenly you're googling what the genie lamp looking symbol means. We've all been there, standing in a repair shop, hearing the mechanic give you a laundry list of fixes at too high of a price.

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3609.762 - 3626.925 Bill Maher

That's why CarShield actually makes sense. CarShield helps cover expensive car repairs and connects you with ASE certified mechanics nationwide. They've got 24-7 roadside assistance, courtesy towing, even rental car options.

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Chapter 6: How does Adam Carolla view California's permitting laws?

3627.265 - 3646.498 Bill Maher

So when your car gives up on life, you don't have to. Their plans are month to month with low deductibles, which means you're not locked into anything or wiped out when something breaks. And considering they've been doing this for over 20 years, covering more than 2 million vehicles, they're clearly doing something right.

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3646.999 - 3669.767 Bill Maher

Plus, they have an A-plus rating from the BBB and are rated a USA Today's top place to work in 2026. Look, one of my producers swears by vehicle protection plans, and this is what he uses. Because surprises are great at birthday parties, less so on the freeway. Make a decision your wallet will love with CarShield.

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3670.127 - 3688.19 Bill Maher

Right now, CarShield is offering our listeners 20% off with the code random at carshield.com. Visit carshield.com to lock in your 2026 protection today. Go to carshield.com and use code random. For 20% off. Miami is crazy.

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3688.21 - 3698.768 Adam Carolla

Yeah, no, I get it. They created what they're living in. I don't know why that's so controversial.

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Chapter 7: What are the challenges of discussing privilege and race in America?

3699.83 - 3704.658 Adam Carolla

I don't know why we are so energized with that.

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3704.758 - 3738.784 Bill Maher

I have a list of like 30 important things that Trump has done in the first year that I am against and that I do not like. His idea, his just sort of macro 30,000 feet idea that Western civilization is the civilization we should defend and that it is under attack and that Israel is the front line in that fight is right. And I am aligned with that point of view.

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3739.685 - 3765.934 Bill Maher

Does he carry it out the way I would like? No, he carries nothing out the way I would like. But I can't deny that that's the truth too. Western civilization, I believe in it. The elements of it that everyone in this country, not everyone, but lots of people just take for granted your free speech and your right to wear what you want and be who you want and love who you want.

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3766.254 - 3793.024 Bill Maher

This is not everywhere in the world. And this civilization that you seem to want to promote to this status of being the downtrodden people who deserve our most heartfelt sympathy, well, that's also the civilization that is most oppressive to women and gay people and other people that are sort of important to your coalition, I thought.

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3793.524 - 3814.745 Adam Carolla

Well, I think of it this way, which is America is constantly comparing itself to some civilization that never existed. some utopian, you know, civilization. And it's really, I mean, it's really this because, you know, it's like, you know, we invented slavery.

Chapter 8: How do personal networks influence success in America?

3814.946 - 3820.897 Adam Carolla

We were the only country in the world that ever engaged in this and stuff.

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3820.917 - 3836.199 Bill Maher

And it's like- I gotta stop you because there are people listening to this I hope not many because we have a very smart audience, who heard you say sarcastically, we invented slavery. And they went, yeah, we did. Because there are lots of people who think that.

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3836.219 - 3844.851 Adam Carolla

Right, okay. So we didn't. Every nation and every civilization had slaves and we were probably late to the slaves.

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3844.831 - 3853.666 Bill Maher

It wasn't even really usually about race because they did it with people because travel was so difficult who lived near them.

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3854.067 - 3879.767 Adam Carolla

Right. Who looked like them. Everybody's involved with this, and we had a war to stop it. And so all we can do is sort of compare ourselves to civilizations that either exist now or before. So it's almost like saying – You know, it's like saying, oh, you know, the Seattle Seahawks, 13-3 or 14-3 or whatever. Big whoop.

3879.787 - 3904.162 Adam Carolla

What about this team that never existed that went 17-0 for the last thousand years and won every Super Bowl? It's like no team has done that. You can compare yourself to other teams in the league. Didn't the Dolphins go 17-0? They went, I think, 14-0 or something. Maybe it was before the 17-game season. Yeah. Or maybe with the playoffs. I think it was a 14-game season.

3904.282 - 3930.491 Adam Carolla

14-game season, then playoffs, and whatever. Yes. One team ran the table one time. I'm just saying, don't shit on Don Shula, Elvis Presley, or Pop Tarts. Or Larry Zonka. When you're here. Right. Never. But... One team did it once. It's been six years. So here's what I'm saying. We don't compare ourselves to a team that never existed, that never lost a Super Bowl and never lost a game.

3930.791 - 3955.921 Adam Carolla

We have to compare ourselves to other teams in the league. And we are essentially the Pittsburgh Steelers that's done a lot of winning and had won a bunch of Super Bowls or maybe the 49ers or whatever it is. And then other places are the Cleveland Browns. And they've never won a Super Bowl and they've don't have more than 500-type seasons. There are always deficits.

3955.981 - 3960.305 Adam Carolla

But the whole point is, why are we comparing ourselves to teams that never existed?

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