John Waters | Club Random with Bill Maher
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Why do models stay so skinny and what’s the secret they use?
Johnny Boy? Hello, sir. I can't get up once I've sunk in this chair. How are you? Did you see Richard Dreyfuss in this chair? No. Oh, you have to. Was he here where he said all the stuff about being vomiting from the new Academy rules? He just was horizontal for a lot of me. That's what I mean. I sat down and it's like... You have to see it to believe it. Really. But he didn't adapt to it? He just was very loose that day. Yeah. I mean, he would be, I would be talking to like a head there. And then he would get back up in the chair. I mean, he's just. Like big. Like Tom Hanks. I wish I was that loose all the time. Although, I feel much less stressed at this age than I did when I was young. Hmm. I think I do, too, even though I'm busier than I've ever been in my entire life.
Well, that's part of the reason why. What makes you stressed? I know. Idleness. I know. Well, to me, I always say that I'm not going to retire, except I was just in France. I couldn't say that there. They'll set you on fire. But you're going to retire. So I said that when I say on my show, when I die on stage, you can take selfies. And the only next thing is if they dig you up to have sex, then I say, or a lonely. if that happens. Oh, wow. You never know what's going to happen. But yeah, I feel like the stress in my life was definitely in the earlier years because you're all about oh, my God, am I going to be a failure? Or, like, how am I going to eat? Yeah. You know, I don't worry. But I never even worried how I wanted to eat.
I used to just, whenever I was hungry, I got a little bag of Planters peanuts, and they always filled me up. Now what I want to do, I've read, have you ever heard of, this is true, you know more models than I do, that models now, the skinny ones, eat paper towels soaked in water, and that fills them up. All right. Bring on the brawny. And then they just shit out the paper? I don't know. Well, they must. They must. Or maybe they get the kind that's... environmentally correct you know that vanishes in your system i have not heard i never heard that um and also models a long long time ago i realized that was not really a great avenue to pursue even for a hound such as myself well i heard i was in here and i did the pose but on the stripper pole and they said no one else has ever gone to that pole here well maybe not on camera but yeah yeah yeah
Well, I have never done a strip. I bet you have. I never have. Isn't that a great strip? Yeah. I was at the Playboy Mansion once. What would I do at the Playboy Mansion? But I was there once. Well, what's not half a... A very important voice back when nobody was talking about it for gay rights. Yes. Yes. And he also hired me. I loved working for him. He paid well. I even read at the end I was on Playboy TV. I had some show where they did vintage porn. I remember that. They were fine. I liked them. I forgot about, yes, I forgot about Playboy TV. I remember having a meeting at the Playboy Mansion about Playboy TV because I was like the only guy in America who had it. Because here's what it was. Or admitted it. Well, that's the thing.
Married guys couldn't get it because the wife is like, really? We're getting Playboy TV? Yeah. And by that time, porn was free. Yeah. I don't get that either. You need a guilt tax. Porn free doesn't work. It works for me. Well, I don't think for you can type in Clarence Thomas naked in a Goodwill box and it comes up without buffering. That is discouraging. You used to have to go into Boner World bookshop and slink over to the creepy clerk and pay for it with a stolen credit card and jerk off all night. You can't do that anymore. And you certainly were a pioneer, which explains all the arrow marks on you. You certainly were a pioneer of that milieu. Which milieu? The milieu of creepiness. Yeah, joyful creepiness.
I mean, when I see in the news, like on an almost daily basis, stuff about drag queens.
Yeah.
I think, wow, John Waters was like a half century ahead of his time. And drag queens then were square, and Divine was the first one. Drag queens hated Divine because they thought he made fun of it, and they were scared of him.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why do models stay so skinny and what’s the secret they use?
0:01–8:32
2
How did Divine’s wish to become Godzilla shape John Waters’ love of joyful creepiness?
8:32–19:17
3
Why should only bad movies be remade and not the classics?
19:17–30:17
4
What inspired John Waters’ new book *Liarmouth* and what’s it about?
30:17–39:03
5
Why do people steal luggage at the airport and how can they get away with it?
39:03–47:18
6
What’s the idea behind John Waters’ very special Christmas ornaments?
47:18–53:55
7
What is Bill Maher’s pitch for a new Quentin Tarantino movie?
53:55–1:07:01
8
How does John Waters stay creative and motivated at 77?
1:07:01–1:15:21