Cold Brew Got Me Like
Episodes
Episode 61: From Pirates to Playwrights
02 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Midwesterners who move to Los Angeles consider themselves geniuses because their friends back in Wisconsin are still freezing. ALSO: Alcohol makes you...
Episode 60: Funneling Dust
25 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
David Brooks admits he has an "intellectual lag," but continues to have a column in the New York Times. He's so annoying that he has to separated from...
Episode 59: The Ultimate Piece of Cheese
20 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The James Webb Telescope has split Greg's wig. He says it's going to impact the "art world." Chris wonders where that world is. Greg calls the James W...
Episode 58: Leonardo da Coldbrew
29 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
LEONARDO DA COLDBREW. Leonardo da Vinci was a genius, but he was a nightmare to be around. Hopped up on bark tea and frog adrenaline, inventing automo...
Episode 57: Iggy Pop: Bourgeois Pig??
18 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's not Iggy Pop's fault, he lived too long and discovered shrimp cocktail! 90% of 1970s rock stars died from falling out of a lighthouse. Also, whoe...
Episode 56: Gofundme Bigfoot
03 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Hunter-gatherers were narcissists. "We're the only people who ever gathered." PLUS: Privy digging, ass-tickling chairs, disruptive bigfoot statues, Gr...
Episode 55: Guns and Neanderthals
27 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The horror of guns in America. We discuss the tragedy in Texas. PLUS: Neanderthals, Ezra Pound's Greatest Hits, and a song of the week from Houston's ...
Episode 54: United States of Independent Contractors
21 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg engage in some REAL TALK about the gig economy, including "micro fulfillment centers" (two dudes playing cards in a doghouse full of Tw...
Episode 53: The Eddie Vedder Variety Hour
13 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The stock market is a pyramid scheme, the Supreme Court is a dark money troll farm, and Eddie Vedder needs to drink less. Pearl Jam's new songs sound ...
Episode 52: Starstruck By Bookstore Clerks
06 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Chris is allowed behind the counter of a bookstore and he loses his mind. Steve Jobs meets Bob Dylan and asks him whether he likes pleated or flat-fro...
Episode 51: Billionaires are Hoarders
29 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Chris worked as a union "concrete depositor" in 1951. He moved to Reno with a bowling bag and some pinky rings. ALSO: American Movie, Advice King mug...
Episode 50: Square Dancing With a Mouse
23 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
EPISODE 50!!!! Holy sh*t!!!! Uhhhh...we didn't do anything special!!!! It's just Chris this week. He says the only way to get out from under "global f...
Episode 49: Sports Fans Love Promo Junk
16 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Are beanie babies "manga"?? ALSO: The man on the plane who got mad at a baby, the latest Advice King column, and telling people that you just quit dri...
Episode 48: Cold Brew Makes You Twice as Tall™
08 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Cold brew makes you twice as tall!™ ALSO: If your business can't withstand unionization, then your business isn't a business. "Imagine how f*cking f...
Episode 47: The Only Podcast Discussing the Oscar Slap
01 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
COLD BREW GOT ME LIKE is the first and only podcast to discuss the Oscar slap! ALSO: Chris talks about a time he had a "brain wipe" on The Daily Zeitg...
Episode 46: Chris Martin's Hairline
26 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The Loudon Wainwright III appreciation episode!!! Surviving Twin!!! ALSO: Cold Brew in the News - Chris Martin is forced to get a hair weave by his ma...
Episode 45: Racy John Fogerty
18 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Greg's ski trip! Greg describes the band that played at the lodge as being like "a racy John Fogerty." Chris accidentally calls a mountain a "website....
Episode 44: Goldendoodles are Hairy Roombas
11 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Greg is on vacation, so Chris talks to himself!! FEATURING: Charles Dickens' granddaughter Monica inventing the Goldendoodle, the new Advice King, buc...
Episode 43: Jay Sebring Chasing Clint Eastwood With a Blow Dryer
04 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's Mom's Birthday!!! Mom likes Monster Magnet!!! Chris's bathroom renovation update!! ALSO: Going to college with Tucker Carlson. PLUS: Fugazi's eig...
Episode 42: January 6th Was Woodstock for Confused People
26 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
COLD BREW GOT Chris and Greg talking about the Mariana Trench, Fleetwood Mac holograms, and SOCIETY. Chris accidentally calls General Patton "James Pa...
Episode 41: Chris Complains About Dua Lipa
18 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Chris is crabby again. Chris complains about everything from the modern world's lack of "village elders" to Dua Lipa. PLUS: Chris and Greg celebrate t...
Episode 40: Phone Call to a Bridge
15 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
WE ARE BACK!!!!!!! Chris and Greg revisit the time-honored (at this point) topic of Chris's bathroom "renovation." ALSO: Rand Paul did yard work inste...
Episode 39: Cloak Boy
09 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg discuss the famous and popular video game “Cloak Boy.” Also, Sterling Hayden, a man who needs at least 4 acres to think properly. m...
Episode 38: When Axl Rose Got His Teeth Fixed
18 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg want to “put their bodies upon the gears” like Mario Savio. Greg’s gonna carve his initials on Amazon trucks, rendering them usel...
Episode 37: I Thought That Rascal Was Somewhere Having a Milkshake
10 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg reminisce about their days on college radio. FEATURING: The day In 2008 when some student DJ wearing flip-flops and khaki shorts played...
Episode 36: UFO or Food Truck??
03 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris formally announces the forthcoming Advice King book! Chris and Greg talk about how drunk chicken farmers must have been in 1961. In related news...
Episode 35: Is Your Carpet Ankle-deep? Why not??
27 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg discover that in the late 1960s you could collect-call a carpet store. Also, what is “Scotch Guard,” exactly? PLUS: A news anchor p...
Episode 34: Sex Coffee
19 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg discuss “Hard Bull Coffee,” which is supposed to enhance your libido. It has ingredients from “the Malaysian jungle.” In relate...
Episode 33: Pinky the Cat
12 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We watch classic viral cat Pinky emasculate a merchant marine. Our boy “New England Wildlife” introduces a 70 year old can of corn. PLUS: Satan pu...
Episode 32: Box Trucks Gettin Crew Cuts
05 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg watch more people destroying trucks (https://youtu.be/USu8vT_tfdw ) ! Hinge bios! ALSO: A man tries to rehydrate 50-year-old bread that...
Episode 31: Captain Nemo is an American
31 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
THIS WEEK: A deep dive (pun intended) on Captain Nemo, the similarities between David Duke and Ben Shapiro, and why the “gig economy” has been hel...
Episode 30: Racism At The Ryman
22 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg discuss the Daily Wire event hosted by Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium, and the phenomenon of people who don’t have any idea where foo...
Episode 29: William Shatner Boldly Goes Where Plenty of People Have Gone Before
15 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris is extremely mad that Bezos has tricked the press into calling the upper atmosphere “space.” ALSO - Greg and Chris talk about love. PLUS: th...
Episode 28: Vanilla Coffee Tastes Like Vanilla
08 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Let them eat NFTs!!! Chris thinks the idea that Mark Zuckerberg froze his dad like Han Solo is the best joke ever! Greg doesn’t get to tell his beac...
Episode 27: Ghost Hunter Makeover
24 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Greg talks about a “homeless Labrador” with a Cheeto jug on his head. Chris says he’s been mad ever since “Jesus took his hair.“ PLUS: terri...
Episode 26: Mr. Coffee’s Sea Serpents
17 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode Chris and Greg discuss the late, great Norm Macdonald, payphones, 1970s school bus drivers, and caffeinated men screaming incoherently...
Episode 25: You Bloody Fool
10 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Greg is back! Chris and Greg discuss the biggest news story of the year so far: an Australian "Musk Duck" that is so horny it can say "you bloody fool...
Episode 24: Eight O’ Clock Coffee in a French Press
03 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Greg is on vacation! Chris watches an overconfident boomer review Eight O’ Clock Coffee. He says professional coffee-reviewer stuff like “it’s g...
Episode 23: Honeymooning on a Merchant Marine Vessel
27 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris does one of his favorite things: drink cold brew and speculate about the Merchant Marine. ALSO: Chris and Greg examine gender roles in 1970s Fol...
Episode 22: Outback Hipster
20 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris laments the state of the world for 20 minutes. THEN, Greg and Chris watch an unemployed Australian playwright impersonate a murderous 14 ft tall...
Episode 21: The Terrible Consequences of “American Exceptionalism”
13 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg discuss Tennessee anti-mask hysteria PLUS: Murder Salad? - “The Secret Life of Plants”
Episode 20: Don’t Be Afraid to Say You Don’t Like Smoking a Pipe
05 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris talks about his doctor visit and describes his diet. Greg reads an article from the “Mansion” section of the Wall Street Journal. We find ou...
Episode 19: It's Texas where I am
01 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Some guy named Spurgeon drinks so much cold brew he almost eats a cardboard box. PLUS: Staples has a rock concert to announce its new font.
Episode 18: Revolutionary War Rockabilly
24 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris thinks 19th century firehouses are the ultimate bachelor pads. ALSO: Northeastern flute rockabilly, and nostalgic boomer sex creeps.
Episode 17: Branson? Not a Fan, Son
15 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg talk about Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Seacrest, Flea, Aziz Ansari, Bill Graham, Boz Scaggs and Radiohead. PLUS: Chris is super e...
Episode 16: John DeLorean, Watch Salesman
08 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris puts on German reading glasses and gives investment advice. Greg says he prefers serial killers that don’t slobber. PLUS: John DeLorean wanted...
Episode 15: Homunculus in a Bathing Suit
01 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
1980s wrestler Kevin Sullivan cold-brew conjures an injured football player. Also: the song "Hairdresser" is on Spotify
Episode 14: Stairway to Trauma
25 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris forces Greg to watch a deranged man play an out-of-tune guitar until Greg can’t take it anymore. PLUS: Contaminated tuxedo protocol.
Episode 13: Bozo Bezos Goes to Space
11 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris wishes Jeff Bezos the best on his important space mission: Operation Boyhood Dream. Also, waterbeds and Plato's Retreat.
Episode 12: Action Bowling and Rolaids
02 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg discuss the evolution of professional bowling. Also: a man named Guppy Troup.
Episode 11: Murderer Refuses to Closee Video Store
30 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg talk about how you can't apply bootstrapping to obsolete technologies and *Cold Brew High Dive* part 2!!!
Episode 10: Cold Brew High Dive
22 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg talk pelicans, porn and blood thirsty carnival barkers masquerading as sports announcers. Also, why don't courtroom sketch artists draw...
Episode 9: 18 Bones
13 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Motorcycle daredevil Super Joe Reed finds out he had 18 bones in his face - the hard way. Also: In 1978, %50 of US citizens were motorcycle daredevils...
Episode 8: Jim Morrison's Son Cliff!
06 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg talk about Jim Morrison's alleged son, and how clean Jim Morrison must have been when he died. Also: EVP maniacs!!
Episode 7: The Mad Canadian
29 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris and Greg introduce the Power Directors to Canadian Stuntman, Ken Carter!! Also, a yogi in a plastic cube and Nova Scotia nightlife in the 1970s!
Episode 6: Do What Thou Wilt at Niagara Falls
15 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Chris Crofton does what thou wilt, for that is the whole of the law. Aleister Crowley was a beatnik, and Niagara Falls daredevils are...
Episode 5: Are Yetis Just Introverts?
02 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris Crofton and friends eschew Cryptocurrency for Cryptozoology as they survey the Bigfoot scene of Skamania, WA, in addition to other abominable ab...
Episode 4: The Doors of Poor Reception
26 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris & friends peer into the later lives of the living members of the classic rock group The Doors. Plus, the continued hunting of ghosts sadly not n...
Episode 3: Testing EVP Ghost Dating Apps in the Field
18 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris Crofton & friends venture into the field with self made supernatural specialists to determine the gender of ghosts.
Episode 2: Speculating Wildly About The Badge Man
10 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Get hyped up on the cold stuff and put your JFK hat on! On this Episode, Chris Crofton and friends speculate wildly about the Blurry legend of the Gra...
Episode 1: Warm Milk w/ Bertie Higgins & Sonny Limbo
06 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Chris Crofton & Friends invite you over for a glass of warm milk with assorted professional wrestlers and semi-professional music industry bums! This ...