The Books are Cooked
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
We have 6-0-0 in progress for most of each.
Subject is 25 and appears to be shit as shit. Get back here!
Hey, everybody. I'm f***ing touring. What a shocker. No cussing. Fleep it. Hey, July 21st, Los Angeles, California. At the Comedy Store. Storytime. Hell yeah. Followed by Oxnard, California. Tempe, Arizona. Pasadena, California. Bakersfield, California. Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Richard... Richmond Virginia Richard Virginia Richmond Virginia Austin Texas Raleigh North Carolina Houston Texas Albuquerque New Mexico St. Louis Missouri Los Angeles California Main Room Comedy Store Salt Lake City Philadelphia Las Vegas Seattle Portland Boston Get your tickets now
When and where does Craig announce his upcoming tour dates?
What the? I was just trying to be different. No, no. I did Arnold, but like a cat and a drug addict.
No.
And Asian. Yep.
Smoke crack.
Yeah. Hey, you know, that sounds like Dave Chappelle, right?
Yeah.
That's a lot of things. We did all of them.
Arigato.
Oh, dear God. Oh, God. Oh, get the meatloaf out of there. I saw the poop again. He splashed the poop. You can leave that in, but it'll make sense at the end. You're going to want to watch till the end on this one. It's an epic poop story. Thank you so much. Tune in to the show. Please rate, review, like, subscribe. Send in your poop stories. Send in your party stories, epic stories, legendary stories. Give us a follow. Yeah, you heard the man. Put his voice in there. The voice of God.
Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, community service, podcast pages. YouTube. YouTube. Follow.
Thank you so much. I never took Herbalife in my life. But I've been taking herbs all my life. Jesus Christ. I'm wearing a beer shirt. I don't even drink beer anymore. What a fucking fraud, huh?
I noticed that, yeah. Fucking fraud. You...
Hey, Pacifico. It's good. It's good design colors. I like it. I like it. I got to work out. I got to show off the guns. It's summer. I'm out there fucking noodle dick arming it over here. Oh, limp dick arm. I need a boner arm. What the fuck's wrong with you, Craig? Fucking weirdo. You know what I mean? I don't want to work out.
I hate it.
How do you fuckers do it? I'm active. I'm all right. But I just don't. Rocky, that guy, that work, he drank eggs. I want to drink eggs. I want to eat eggs. The commitment it takes. I already do that with stand-up. Do you know how much commitment it takes? I don't want to do that with another thing. Oh, I got to get up at 5 a.m. Get it early.
Oh, fuck you, dude. I'd rather kill myself. You fucking nut. I'm going to take a cycle class right as the sun's rising. Go fuck yourself.
I'm sad, bitch. I smoke dope. Suck my balls. This is not a motivational speak. This is a go lay down speak. Put the weight down. I got stuck on weight. Put the weights down. Grab a donut and chill the fuck out. So what? You got diabetes in your legs at risk. Look at that ball man. He lost his leg. He's doing fine. He's not doing fine. He lost his leg. I saw a post. It was real sad. I take it all back. Don't eat the donut. Take care of yourself. Sooner or later, God will cut you down. Is it weird that Johnny Cash just popped in my head when thinking about that ball man's leg? What's his name? Father Ball? Father Ball? No, don't actually type in Father Ball. It popped up. It popped up. He Googled Father Ball and LeVar Ball popped up.
I love you, Chris, but you are a bad Googler. Father Ball.
We need a Googler.
No, that's funny. I'm not frustrated.
That's funny. Father Ball.
At least you're aware of it. No, I'm good at it. Father ball. Okay, what are you looking for? Cinderella? You fucking, I don't know, the ball. Remember that? One leg ball man? No, don't pop that in. That's some weird shit will pop up. I told you, this changed the man. Go back to LaVar. What's his name? LaVar. Sorry, his son's name confused me. LiAngelo. LaVar Ball, LiAngelo Ball, Lonzo Ball, Tina Ball, LaMelo Ball. Okay, this guy's a spicy character on the internet. He had a lot of haters on the internet. But like anything, you could study this man how to be, how not to be. First of all, he has three boys, and they're all winners and champions. Motherfucker's doing something right. He raised three NBA players and champions, whatever.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:04–1:15
2
When and where does Craig announce his upcoming tour dates?
1:15–6:52
3
How does Craig describe his workout habits and fitness mindset?
6:52–32:38
4
Why does Craig believe parasites and diet cause late-night cravings?
32:38–53:09
5
What parenting examples does Craig give about kids, sugar and behavior?
53:09–1:19:39