Conan talks to Lucas in Amsterdam about playing professional basketball and the quickest ways to gain weight. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/conan.
Chapter 1: Who is Lucas and where is he located?
Hi, Lucas. Hey there, everybody. Hi. How are you? Good. How are you? We're doing well. Our friend Matt Gourley is not with us today. He called in sick, which means he's probably at the mall scoping out the chicks. I know what he does as he does. OK, Lucas, tell me a little bit about yourself. Where are you in the world right now? I have no idea.
I am currently in Amsterdam.
Oh, OK. Is Amsterdam where you're from?
Yes, it's also where I'm from.
Oh, wow. Okay. I love Amsterdam. I was there many years ago. I shot some travel stuff there in a whole other lifetime. I believe in the 90s or early 2000s. Really? And I loved it. I thought it was one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. Really, I think it's absolutely gorgeous. So good for you for living in Amsterdam. And tell me a little bit about yourself, Lucas. How old are you?
I am 26.
Okay. So I live in Amsterdam with my girlfriend and my two cats. I currently work as an IT consultant and I play basketball.
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Chapter 2: What is Lucas's basketball background?
Okay. Basketball.
That's that in a nutshell.
Okay. You say you play basketball. You mean just as kind of a hobby or how serious are you about basketball?
Nowadays, it's more of a hobby. I used to play professional a while back when I was still studying. but I could not combine work and professional basketball.
You played, on what level did you play professional basketball?
The highest level in the Netherlands.
That's fantastic. That's impressive.
Compared to the rest of the world, it's kind of meh, but it's it's all right here.
Can I say something, Lucas? I don't like your attitude. I know you're saying you all you have to do is say I play professional basketball. I played pro ball. That's and then end the sentence there. Not you don't have to mention in Amsterdam and for the Netherlands, it's OK. Yeah, but it's kind of meh everywhere else. By that point, the woman that you were talking to at the bar has gone. Okay?
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Chapter 3: How tall is Lucas and does he play basketball currently?
Were you any good? You must have been pretty good.
Yeah, I did it for, I think, five years. Uh-huh. Yeah, I was pretty good. I was playing. I was also playing here in Amsterdam. So I was having a good time with a lot of traveling. It was still when I was still in college. So that was kind of rough, like comparing doing the studying stuff next to the basketball and combining that. But it was a good time.
Now, let me ask you some stats about yourself. How tall are you?
I'm 6'3".
Okay. All right.
So I'm not that tall. Again, I mean, Lucas, we have a lot of... No, but compared to other basketball players on the court... Compared to, yeah, guess what?
Compared to the sun, I don't generate much warmth. I guess I'm a cold fish. You've got to stop doing that, Lucas.
Okay, okay, okay.
All right. You're 6'3", which is tall by just about any standard, okay? You're a six-foot, we're going to work on you, Lucas. You're a six-foot-three badass who played pro basketball. Yeah. And now you're an IT genius. Okay? Yeah. You need some of this American swagger. Here's what we do in America, and I think you've probably noticed. We just say we're great at stuff. Yes. Even if we're not.
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Chapter 4: What is Lucas's relationship status?
What's her name?
I met her. Sorry?
What's her name?
Zoe.
Okay. So Zoe, and how tall is Zoe? 6'1", I believe. 6'1", yeah. You keep looking off to the side. Is she in the room with you?
No, no, she's two rooms apart.
Wow, this relationship is flourishing. We live two rooms apart from one another. What are you, a Mennonite? Okay, well, all right. But how long have you been going out for? Seven years. Oh my goodness. Wow. Okay, things are getting serious. And you're young, so you started dating when you were 11. But you know what? Again, it's Amsterdam. You guys are probably, you know, toking on that bong.
Oh boy.
Dating when you're 11, you know. So, no, no, no. Those are just stereotypes about Amsterdam, which we don't indulge in anymore. We know there's so much more to Amsterdam. Well, I think this is all very impressive.
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Chapter 5: How does Conan encourage Lucas's confidence?
Not that often. Sometimes when she needs a sparring buddy on practice, I go over there and we can play some basketball.
You play defense a little bit and try and keep her on her. That's good. That's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll try to make her life a little bit tough. Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay. That's good. You live two rooms apart from each other and you try to make her life more difficult. It's all adding up now. This is the way. Okay. Well, I feel like you've got a pretty good life. Are you done with basketball or do you want to continue with it?
No, I'm still currently playing. So I quit pro basketball. And then I had two years of, well, not playing. And I just started playing again this season. So, yeah, I'm still, but on a lower level. So I'm kind of relaxing.
Yeah. What's your strength as a player? Ooh, I think...
I think I'm a pretty good scorer.
Are you one of those guys that has a killer outside shot? You can just drain it. You can drain threes all day.
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Chapter 6: Is Lucas's girlfriend also a basketball player?
I thought you meant something, you know.
No, no, no.
Vagina.
No, no. Jesus Christ, no.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Right. And that doesn't exclusively mean vagina.
Okay, okay.
There's another hole. All right. I'm just saying.
Oh, no.
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Chapter 7: What are Lucas's basketball skills?
You European.
You're not pulling your fair share.
Yeah, you piece of shit.
Hey, that was too far. This guy can drink trays all day and drive to the hole, provided it's the right hole. Lucas, I'm ashamed of myself. I'm ashamed of my country. I'm ashamed of my assistant, Sona. This is just a mess. Hey, easy on the water, okay? That stuff ain't cheap. He keeps gulping water.
No one ever said easy on the water.
Easy on the water there, pal. Does Zoe know that you're talking to us right now? Yes, she knows. Does she approve or does she think this is a huge waste of your time?
No, she approves.
She approves. Okay, good.
She was pretty high for me.
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Chapter 8: How does Lucas balance basketball with his IT career?
International, international star.
She's just two rooms over instead of like outside excited. So I just thought maybe she was just ambivalent.
They didn't even have that room. She rented that room when she heard that Lucas was going to be talking to me. Paying a lot of money right now to stay away. Lucas, is there any way that I can help you? I like to help people and you seem like a nice guy and I'd like to help you in any way I can.
Yeah, sure. So we were on the topic of basketball and you were saying like those interesting phrases with like driving through the hole and that kind of stuff. So I'm in a team with a lot of introverts and I think... And I'm also kind of introverted, but when I'm on the court, I can get more vocal. But I think you could help me and maybe my team through me be more of a trash-talking team.
Oh, yeah. Oh, you came to the right guy. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I'll tell you a true story, Lucas. I used to play a lot of basketball with just kids in the neighborhood. There was a hoop. There was a school across the street. There was a hoop there. And so my brother and his friends would get together and a bunch of us would play. My sister Kate would come over and play. She's a good athlete.
And we would have these games. These just pickup games in the neighborhood. And I spent all my time- describing who my character was. I would stop the game and describe who my character was, how he had done time in prison for murdering a fan in the stands, but got off on a technicality. I would go on and on and on. Then I would talk constantly.
When they would pass me the ball, I would start talking as my character.
Oh, God.
And it was so... I mean, occasionally people would be laughing, but a lot of times they were just annoyed and frustrated. And so all I did was talk. So, yes, you came to the right place. I swear I could teach you guys to trash talk. I would be so good at it. That would be great. Go ahead.
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