Show notes
Happy almost Fall y’all! Well, if feels that way in Michigan. This week we’re going to crack open Chapter 4 of Marie Forleo’s “Everything is Figureoutable,” zeroing in on one of the biggest barriers to dreams: Excuses.Setting the Stage: The Lie We Tell OurselvesMarie opens this chapter with a quote by Richard Bach, which my sister Annie loves his book, Illusions (hi, Annie, if you are reading this):“The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves.”The ways in which we tell lies is with not just out thoughts but also the words we use. We often sabotage ourselves when we say I “can’t.” Whenever we say “I can’t,” what we usually mean is “I won’t,” or “I’m not willing.” This may be uncomfortable for you to read. We’ll address in a few minutes.Take a moment. This week, intentionally notice each “can’t” that springs from your lips. Try swapping it for “I won’t” or “I’m not willing.” Watch your perspective shift. This simple wordplay can kickstart real, honest responsibility.Reminder: Three Rules to Facilitate Your DreamsFor anyone new (or craving a refresher), here are Marie’s three Everything is Figureoutable rules:* Every problem or dream is figureoutable.* If a problem can't be cracked, maybe it’s not a real problem (think: gravity or death).* Sometimes a problem is technically figureoutable—you just don’t care enough, and that’s OK! Find what lights you up and commit to figuring that one out.This Week’s Confession: My I “Can’t” StoryYears back at a self-development retreat, I said to a group, “I can’t forgive my brother.” The facilitator invited me to say, “I haven’t been willing to forgive my brother.”That little tweak hit me like a ton of bricks! “Can’t” felt powerless, but “not willing” handed me back the keys. Self-help and success books all circle back to this: You are 100% responsible for your life.Yes, sometimes it’s easier to blame others, slip into old habits, and play victim. At that retreat, the mentor described it as being “asleep” or not fully awake to our ability to choose a response.You can’t control every event, but you can always shape your beliefs, reactions, and results. Jack Canfield’s E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome) nails this point. Responsibility isn’t meant to shame. It’s a chance to decide who you want to be, every day.Excuses, Excuses! Marie’s Top ThreeSo let’s dive into the three most common excuses Marie identifies:* I don’t have time* I don’t have money* I don’t know how (or where to start)Time to break these down and step into some practical action.1. “I Don’t Have Time.” →Make Time, Don’t Find It!Marie says it’s not about having time, it’s about making time. Personally, my productivity obsession was forged in the fires of life! * The retreat decades ago shifted my perspective: I trained for a marathon having never run a mile much befor. My big lesson? I made time; I didn’t just find it. And yeah, I also learned I could do it. * Parenthood ramped everything up: my husband was away 80% of the time while I solo-parented in Austin, working full-time without family nearby. The only way through was to get creative: groceries? Sleep? Self-care? Survival meant making systems to make time, and asking for help remained my biggest growth area.* Then came baby number two in 2020 (hello, pandemic!), a tough work environment, and even less time. Somewhere in the chaos, I realized waiting for retirement to chase my dreams was not an option. I started using the early hours—4:00 to 6:00 AM—as my “magical window.” Art, writing, learning facilitation, launching new careers…all happened while most of the world slept. You don’t have to get up that early, but you DO have to make the time for what matters—even if it’s just for five minutes.Below is a little video from my past self (December 2021) reminding you to take 5! I look much younger then.2. “I Don’t Have Money.” →Prioritize Growth Over ConsumptionLet’s get real: I’ve lived hand-to-mouth. It’s even trickier with kids. Many of us still manage to spend resources on fleeting experiences or stuff not aligned with our goals. Reading Dave Ramsey and embracing “the baby steps” helped our family build savings and prioritize spending on growth opportunities, not just instant gratification. Check in with your own spending—are you investing in your dreams or accidentally trading them away?Money is a very interesting blocker for many. If you are interested in me going deeper into money mindset books, I can consider this being another book we read. If your income is light, you have debt, and/or no savings, I would start with Dave Ramsey. I also think these basics are good for most everyone. Then you can adventure into other books that I have dabbled in by Denise Duffield-Thomas, Kate Northrup, Amanda Francis and a bunch more. 3. “I Don’t Know How.” →Breaking the Boulder Into PebblesMarie’s take is that “I don’t know how” is weak, but I’m more empathetic here. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed! My trick? Break big rocks into tiny pebbles: small, bite-size first steps. If “where to start” is your roadblock, tackle the “time” excuse first. Sometimes just spending a week carving out time, even if you get nothing tangible done proves you can move forward. Milestones don’t need to be epic. Just keep moving those pebbles!If you want extra help, I did create a guide you can download for my self-guided workshop. Weekly Action Challenge - Make Excuses DisappearReady to make it real? Marie’s Insight to Action Challenge (page 84 in my edition) goes like this:* List instances where you thought you lacked time, ability, or resources—but figured it out anyway. No example is too small!* Identify the most important goal you want to achieve.* Write down your top three excuses for not making progress.* Make a slash through each excuse. For every one, write out why it’s no longer valid and what you’re now willing to think, say, or do instead.* If “time” is a biggie, track your time (or screen time) for a week for full visibility.* Bonus: If your life depended on finding two free hours a day, what would your plan look like? For me, this means self-care including baths, fitness classes, anything to avoid burnout and keep the long haul sustainable.Wordplay Challenge: “Can’t” vs “Won’t”Again, here’s your bonus mental exercise for the week: Whenever “I can’t” pops up, pause. Change it to “I won’t” or “I’m not willing to.” Or get even more real: “I’m choosing to prioritize [X] right now.” This simple switch can radically shift the narrative and break excuse cycles that keep us feeling stuck.Final Words—Radical ResponsibilityEliminating excuses isn’t about being perfect; it’s about owning the power of choice. Step out of “I can’t” and into “I’m willing,” “I’m choosing to,” or “I’m prioritizing right now.” Whether your dream is a job change, five minutes for art, or epic family moments, make time for it.And remember, the only person who needs to believe you can figure it out is… you.Let’s go figure it out—together!Whenever you're ready, I can help you with:* Workshop design and facilitation* Facilitation and workshop training, including AI Opportunity Mapping, Strategy & Design Sprints* Intention setting, planning, and incremental progress for success This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit facilitationartist.substack.com