Show notes
Hey, everyone! This week we’re exploring Chapter 9 of Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. The chapter, Refuse to Be Refused is really hitting me and here’s why… (vulnerability alert)Yesterday, I wrapped up my free training—”Creating Impactful Solutions in Less Than Three Hours Without Months of Meetings, Research, and Debate”—with roughly 90 people registered and about 45 who actually attended. The turnout was fantastic, the feedback was warm, and there’s already a handful lining up to learn more. By every measure, it was a success.And yet, as I sit here today, what lingers are big, raw emotions. Exhaustion, vulnerability, and self-doubt seem to always ride shotgun after every milestone. If you’ve ever done something that stretched you, chances are you know exactly what I mean.Real Criticism vs. Imagined RejectionDespite all the positivity, there’s a curious thing that happens: the silent pause in between. The radio silence from those who didn’t book a call, didn’t show up, or didn’t respond. That silence morphs so easily into imaginary criticism, a stubborn belief that maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t enough—for them, for the moment, for the promise I made.Marie Forleo nails this feeling in Chapter 9:“Sometimes, figuring things out requires that you refuse to be refused. Just because someone else says, ‘No, you can’t do that,’ or ‘No, that’s not possible,’ or ‘No, that’s not how it’s done around here,’ doesn’t mean that you must agree with their version of reality.”It’s tempting to let the faintest “no” grow roots in your mind. But the truth? The more we do hard, scary things, the more often this mental battle surfaces. As Marie says,“This is a practice that must be repeated again and again.”Judged, Criticized—and Still Showing UpHere’s an unavoidable fact: The limiting belief “I’m not good enough” isn’t something that vanishes. It’s a lifelong companion that reemerges with every new challenge. In Marie’s words,“When you’re blazing new trails and making change—expect a steady stream of criticism, judgement, and even ridicule.”Whenever we create—an artwork, a business, a podcast, or simply try something new—criticism is part of the territory. “As long as there is creativity, there will always be criticism of it,” Marie reminds us. The more we care what others think, the more they own us. And yet, everything you love is likely despised by someone else. There’s freedom in letting go of chasing universal approval and instead using feedback that actually helps, leaving the rest behind.Three Tactics for Handling CriticismMarie Forleo offers three sanity-saving tactics for navigating criticism:* Consider the Source.“The harshest critics are often insecure, unaccomplished cowards.” Sometimes, those who offer unsolicited criticism aren’t necessarily the ones out there bravely doing the work themselves.* Feel Sad, Not Mad.Criticism often reveals more about the giver’s pain than your own shortcomings. Opening up empathy can help soften those impacts.* Have a Good Laugh.Sometimes, the best thing to do is let trolls be trolls. Make memes out of the ridiculous feedback. Laugh it off—you’re still moving forward.Response-Ability and Golden RulesWe’re human. We feel things deeply, and sometimes react when angry or emotional. Marie’s golden rule?“Never reply when angry, emotional or buzzed.”Instead, get curious and compassionate—respond from a place of strength, not reactivity. The next time you get criticism, turn it into an opportunity for growth or creative fun. And remember, it’s okay to aim for “C” work right now—not everything has to be A-plus, especially when A-for-action is what counts most.“You Weren’t Built to Be Contained.” (Read This Twice)One of Marie’s most powerful affirmations:“You weren’t built to be contained. You’re here to create, to heal, and to make change. Never apologize for that. You can’t make a difference without making waves.”If you needed to hear that today, so did I. We’re not here to tuck ourselves in the corner or shrink at criticism. Impact comes from embracing big feelings and taking even bolder actions.And this, perhaps, is the biggest shift:“Striving to be your best is one thing, but when you do your best for the betterment of others, you’ll be virtually unstoppable.”From Insight to Action—Try This TodayMarie ends the chapter with a challenge, and I’m passing it forward:* List at least one time you refused to be refused—and what you learned from it.* Think of a moment you were told “no” on your journey. Brainstorm seven creative ways to work around that refusal and keep going.* Imagine the criticism you fear actually happens. Identify three healthy, constructive responses your highest self would choose. Maybe—don’t reply in anger or after a glass of wine.* Write down ten actions you’d take if you had no fear of judgment or criticism. Pick one and do it.* Connect your dream or goal to a reason bigger than yourself—a community, cause, or family member. Reasons power results.Let’s Make Waves TogetherIf you’ve ever found yourself crushed by self-doubt or weighed down by criticism—real or imagined—know that you aren’t alone in those emotions. What matters is showing up with your raw, imperfect self, taking action, and turning criticism into a catalyst.Let’s keep creating, keep healing, keep making change—never apologizing for the waves we make. Comment below, send an email, tell your story on social if any of this resonates. Share one courageous thing you’ll do this week, with zero fear of criticism.Let’s make some waves—together.Whenever you’re ready, I can help you with:* Workshop design and facilitation* Facilitation and workshop training, including AI Opportunity Mapping, Strategy & Design Sprints* Intention setting, planning, and incremental progress for success This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit facilitationartist.substack.com