Conflict Owner's Manual
Episodes
29 When conflicts outgrow their original boundaries
12 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Some conflict start small, like you helpfully mention that someone didn't wash a dish, and whoa, it blows into a contest over who never cleans up...
28 What's the problem with agreeing to disagree?
08 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When persuasion and arguing haven't helped heal a disagreement, you might "agree to disagree" and change the subject. Is there a downsi...
27 Are pessimists more conflict competent than optimists?
05 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Both pessimism and optimism have strengths and weaknesses in conflict. There's power in pessimism and value in optimism for the conflict competen...
26 Is aggression a conflict competency?
02 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's tempting to be aggressive to achieve the conflict outcome you prefer. Deborah demonstrates that there are other approaches that are more lik...
25 Are your conflicts complex, uncertain and heavy with variables?
29 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
As much as people in conflict want to know the consequences of their decisions before they decide, the answer to most conflict questions is: it depend...
24 Who is correct when opinions differ? This simple exercise helps you know.
26 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Sometimes, when people quarrel about whose opinion is correct and who is wrong, I use a simple easy demonstration. Afterwards, they still might not ag...
23 What should you do when the other person's opinion is 'wrong'
23 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Conflicts over disagreeable opinions get personal so fast, and, too often, they get insulting. How can you hold such a wrong opinion, you may ask them...
22 Three ways to change your conflict pattern
19 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Conflicts follow patterns. Changing your conflict patterns improves your conflict competence. Here are three different approaches to changing your con...
21 If you dread the family dinner, try these for fun
15 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Close friends and family members can trigger your heated reactions even when you like or love each other. They think they know you even when you'...
20 How to turn conversation competence into conflict competence
12 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Conflict overwhelms your calm conversational skills that connect you to the other person. So, how do you stay in touch with your calm conversational c...
19 Whose permission do you need to be conflict competent?
08 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's great to have norms, manners, policy and structure that foster healthy relationships. But - if those aren't supporting your efforts, yo...
18 How to lower the heat with your conflict script
05 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Change your conflict script; change your conflict. Here's a creative way to rewrite your conflict script to skip the conflict part of the script....
17 Are disappointed expectations causing your conflicts?
01 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
When you expect something and it doesn't happen, who's to blame? What better ways are there to have your expectations met to your satisfacti...
16 Does bias influence your decision making in conflict?
28 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Conflict drops a lot of decisions on you, and there's no perfect decision that guarantees the outcome you prefer. Your decisions in conflict depe...
15 Has that conflict really ended your relationship?
24 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
When does a relationship end? At the breakup over a conflict? Or when you stop reliving it in your mind? After the breakup, do you go over what happen...
14 How to get your conflict competence to rise
21 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Taking emotional risks in conflict is like a leavening agent that helps your conflict competence rise. In this mini-cast, Deborah discusses how you ca...
13 What common expressions are conflict competent?
17 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Words we use show others how we view the world. If common expressions use fighting and battle language, what does that say about our mindset, and what...
12 Try this easy exercise to expand your conflict competence
14 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
There isn't one perfect way to get the result you want in a conflict, so it's helpful to have options. Here's an exercise that can give...
11 What is Dialogue in conflict?
10 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Dial down conflict heat with Dialogue as a process. When high emotion makes dialogue for resolution seem impossible, try process Dialogue. Deborah and...
10 How does integrating ideas help manage conflict?
07 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Integrating subjective and objective ideas helps the conflict analysis of your thinking, your assumptions, the context, and other variables that affec...
9 Conflict when the goals are the same
04 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Even when you agree on almost everything, you can still have conflict over the details. You may all want the same thing and disagree over how to accom...
8 What is a conflict analysis?
31 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Analyzing your conflict ensures you answer the right question and solve the right problem. Deborah gives tips for conducting your conflict analysis.Se...
7 How thinking affects your thinking in conflict
27 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a text. We love hearing from you.Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe...
How do you define "conflict"
24 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Conflicts are different than disagreements, so it's helpful to define the word. Deborah offers a useful definition that also shows you where you ...
How to change the other person in a conflict
20 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
You have more power and opportunity to change a conflict situation than you might believe. Send us a text. We love hearing from you.Dr. Deborah Sword...
Why is our logo a dandelion?
17 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Conflict is like a dandelion. A weed is unwelcome and hard to eliminate, but also has a use. In this mini-cast you will hear tips for managing and for...
Your conflict pattern
13 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What you most often do in conflict becomes your default pattern, and gets stronger than conflict strategies that you don't choose as often. It&ap...
How to develop your conflict competence
13 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Send us a text. We love hearing from you.Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe...