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Connection Codes

Why Your Marriage Keeps Repeating the Same Fight (Identity Loss Explained)

27 Oct 2025

Description

What happens when a simple email about work scripts triggers a complete relationship nosedive? In this raw, unfiltered episode, we witness Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill work through an actual conflict from the day before—and discover how identity loss was at the root of their disconnect.This isn't theory. This is real marriage work happening in real-time.You'll discover:Why the first 60 seconds of conflict can determine your entire dayHow "being the workhorse" or "the fixer" can destroy emotional connectionThe difference between acknowledging pain vs. trying to fix it (and why one creates intimacy while the other creates distance)Why logistics never matter (and what actually does)How to identify when you've tuned out fear to maintain your identityThe surprising reason why saying "you don't have to do it all" can strip someone of their identityReal tools for repair when you've already spiraled into disconnectionKey Timestamps:3:12 - The conflict begins: How a missed acknowledgment triggered everything18:05 - Identifying the first unprocessed emotion (the make-or-break moment)26:10 - The workhorse identity: Why "getting things done" becomes self-destructive39:02 - The validation breakthrough: What acknowledgment actually does47:08 - Walking through the Core Emotion Wheel togetherThis episode is essential for:Couples who keep having the "same fight" in different packagingLeaders carrying identity roles that no longer serve themAnyone who's been called "the strong one" and wonders why they feel so exhaustedParents navigating empty nest transitions or career changesAnyone who feels unseen in their closest relationshipsResources Mentioned:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcastWork with a certified Connection Codes coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coachesExplore the School of Connection for deep-dive marriage transformationTopics: marriage conflict resolution, emotional health in relationships, identity crisis in marriage, emotional processing, leadership and emotional intelligence, relationship repair, overcoming disconnection, mental health in marriage, core emotions, validation in relationships

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