Encore: Vickie's turbulent life in and out of prison, and how she reclaimed her power

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How did Vickie's early childhood and adoption shape her later life?

Unknown 0:00
Hi there. Just a heads up to let you know that this conversation talks about domestic violence. Please take care while listening and you'll find some helpful resources on our website.
Claire Rawlinson 0:12
ABC Listen, podcasts, radio, news, music, and more.
Richard Feidler 0:19
I first saw Vicky Roach when she appeared on that outstanding ABC TV series You Can't Ask That and we're all big fans of that show around here. Vicky was part of the domestic and family violence episode and she's a survivor. Vicki cuts a striking figure on the telly with her long grey hair and her forthright presence, and she's also got one of those fabulous great big dirty laughs as well. And we did think that when we saw Vicky there would have to be much, much more to her story. And there is. As well as spending quite a bit of time in prison and doing a master's degree inside, Vicky has helped change a federal law on the rights of prisoners. Just a heads up, Vicky's story does have elements to it that are distressing for some people.
Richard Feidler 1:03
But nonetheless, there's so much there in this extraordinary life. Hello, Vicky. Uh Richard. What was that like going in onto that T V show when you sort of walk into the studio, sit in the stool? Was it scary?
Vickie Roach 1:15
Well, I was there by myself. A lot of the other um interviewees were were partnered up, but I was on my own. Um so yeah, it was pretty daunting just sitting up on that big stool and lights and everything. But um everybody was just so fantastic, all the the interviewers, the the all the staff, all the crew that worked on the programme, e everybody was just like a big
Richard Feidler 1:38
family. Were you ready for those questions as they came in?
Vickie Roach 1:41
Um You were sort of prepared for them, but when you actually turned the card over, no, you weren't. And I think that's what makes the show so good because your your reaction to to seeing those questions a is just you see it and it's oh Yeah, of course everyone asks that one, you know.
Richard Feidler 1:59
Yeah. Well the big one was that uh was, you know, why didn't you leave? And that question Yes and and it it was so interesting to s see your reaction which was the same as just about everyone else's reaction on that, which is like the sort of go oh oh shake your head and s and go everyone asks that question. That puts the blame on you rather than him.
Vickie Roach 2:17
Well that's right, it does. Um, why didn't you leave? Um Why don't they say how did he manage to force you to stay? Uh, which is basically what happens in You know, they they they take your financial autonomy away from you, an abusive partner. So you often don't have the finances to run and it does take money to run. I've done it without money. That's and it's not easy. Um Basically it uh it's like being a kid and running away from home with your little stick and a handkerchief with your worldly goods tied up in the back. Um Yeah, so finances are one thing that keep you there. Children are another thing. Family, um, perceptions uh of people around you like um might be frowned on to to leave your husband. Uh in fact I know the church that um
Vickie Roach 3:11
I was part of when I was a kid with my foster parents. Uh, it was better that you stayed at home and and were very quiet about the abuse and didn't tell anyone and just put up with it. You didn't sort of bring your family into disrepute by reporting the abuse or talking about it. Things have obviously changed over the years and we are able to talk about abuse now. But for many women I I think those impediments to to being able to live. I still there.
Richard Feidler 3:40
Is confidence an issue as well?
Vickie Roach 3:41
Yes, absolutely. One of the huge things about abuse is that um the the abuser saps your confidence and it's a very they do it very deliberately and very systematically. Um isolating you from friends, family, taking away your financial autonomy. Um Constantly telling you that you are nothing without them. That nobody else would want you. Um they are the only one who who would want your
Richard Feidler 4:10
dirty ass, you know? Do you know that when you're going through it? Do you know that this is a bit of a s a an old, old story that gets played out again and again and again in so many places, uh in Australia and across the world?

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