What leaving my family’s Baha’i faith taught me about love and life

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Conversations 53 min 5 speakers 4 chapters transcribed
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

Fiona Pepper 0:00
I'm science reporter Fiona Pepper.
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Sarah Kanowski 0:12
Obviously a major malfunction.
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Sarah Kanowski 0:37
Sita Walker grew up in Toowoomba, west of Brisbane. She was the youngest, much-loved member of her family, especially adored by her grandma and her three aunts. Sita's family all belonged to the Baha'i faith, and growing up, Sita prayed to God every morning and every night and did her best to be good. She got married young to another Baha'i, became a mum to three kids, worked a regular and responsible job teaching high school. But despite following all the rules, life had some big surprises in store for Sita. And going through them, she discovered the exhilaration of making her own choices. Sita had the chance to replace what she had been taught was right with what she wanted. It turns out what she wanted, including eating biscuits first thing in the morning, falling in love and writing.
Sarah Kanowski 1:37
Her first book was the memoir, The God of No Good. And her new book is a novel called In a Common Hour. Hi, Sita. Hi, Sarah. If you close your eyes, Sita, and think about that house in Toowoomba, what do you see?
Sita Walker 1:53
I see the hallway with all the rooms coming off it and I see the family room which was attached to the kitchen. We sort of had two family rooms. We had one... good lounge and my dad had his bookshelves in the good lounge and there was a piano in the good lounge and we were never really meant to go into the good lounge because my father had sort of said, look, we need just one space in this house that isn't overrun with family and children and things and So I have a family room attached to the kitchen, which was really the heart of the home and that's where we lived most of the time.
Sarah Kanowski 2:37
What things was your mum, Fahri, in charge of at home? What was her domain?
Sita Walker 2:43
Mum? Mum was... That's a really interesting question. What was mum in charge of? I remember my grandmother doing most of the cooking when I was very young before she sort of got too old to take on that job. So my grandmother was a constant fixture in the kitchen cooking and in the garden gardening and just pottering. She And my mother went to work. So my mother was a school teacher like me and she taught year two at Toowoomba East State School for probably about 30 years.

What experiences shaped Sita Walker's childhood in the Baha'i faith?

Sita Walker 3:18
And so she knows everybody in town and has people coming up to her saying, oh, Mrs Walker, you taught me in 1991 or whatever. And she's, of course, got no idea who they are. But so my grandmother sort of looked after me, looked after the kids and my mum worked, I think.
Sarah Kanowski 3:36
Was she good in a crisis, your mum, the sort of little domestic crisis that happened in her family all the time?
Sita Walker 3:42
Well, strangely, as relaxed as the woman is. So she's relaxed about everything to do with the home. So she would never be the type of mother that would tidy up if guests were coming over. You know, if guests were coming, they were coming to see us exactly how we are, which is why my dad insisted on the good lounge. But... Mum was the polar opposite of that. She was really happy to have anyone there. And if you walk through the door, you know, she'd be sitting on the lounge with a cup of tea and she'd probably throw a grape at you or something. And you're instantly part of the family, part of the team. And that's one of her very special gifts, I think, is to make anybody feel comfortable. like they are close family.
Sita Walker 4:24
She would treat, you know, she would treat the Queen the same way that she would treat the Ironing Lady and that's in her bones to be like that.
Sarah Kanowski 4:33
So apart from his focus on the good lounge, what kind of presence was your dad at home? So dad is a very particular man.
Sita Walker 4:41
He's a very principled man. My father would do all the things that he felt required attention to detail. And that's why we had an ironing lady in the end because he couldn't do all the ironing.

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