Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
#477: Build UNSTOPPABLE Momentum With Heather!
Wed, 06 Nov 2024
In This Episode You Will Learn About: Why you need to LET GO to grow. What reimagining success really means. How to EMBRACE messy action. Resources: Join my 8-week Elevate Your Influence Bootcamp and use code Q1 Go to ConstantContact.com and start your FREE trial today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/monahan Oracle is offering to halve your cloud bill if you switch to OCI See if you qualify at oracle.com/MONAHAN. Download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning at NetSuite.com/MONAHAN. Call my digital clone at 201-897-2553! Visit heathermonahan.com Reach out to me on Instagram & LinkedIn Sign up for my mailing list: heathermonahan.com/mailing-list/ Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes: What do you do when things don’t go as planned? When doors close, it’s a sign to LET GO and REIMAGINE what's next. My Mastermind event took an unexpected turn, and instead of clinging to the past, I took the risk to pivot. The result? An EPIC success that surpassed anything I’d done before. It reminded me that the PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE isn’t always the one that ELEVATES us. When negativity shows up, choose GRACE over reaction. We all have times when we stumble, but the key is to learn, give yourself grace, and move forward. Keep shining; the world needs your light. If you’re feeling the call to go further, join my 8-week Elevate Your Influence Bootcamp and transform your life before the new year even begins. Use the code Q1 for major savings. Join us and take your career to the next level!
Chapter 1: What unexpected challenges did Heather face this week?
Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so a lot has been going on. I have had the craziest week, even for me. I feel like my life is crazy. But this week has really been next level. My partner from LA unexpectedly came into town, so I had to change up my schedule a
a bit and I had my annual mastermind was coming in so I had a big group of people that I had a training for a dinner for you know I had a lot going on I had commitments on multiple nights right and you also try to have a personal life but you try I don't know that I'm killing that area right now but you try right so I did schedule two things during the week for my personal life
And it was just wild. I was not looking forward to the week, I'm gonna be honest with you, because it was a lot. And one of the funny things, and I think I mentioned this to you last week, the way I had been doing my mastermind in the past, the in-person event, Things were not lining up and working out the way they had before.
One of the vendors I worked with completely restructured the way she did things. It just didn't work for me anymore. She wasn't willing to do it the way we had done it. So it was just clear, okay, this isn't going to work. So I need to do something different. And of course, anytime you do something different, it could be epic and amazing. It could be hard. It could fail, right? You don't know.
You have to try. And so I just, I knew this, that doesn't work for me anymore. So that I got clear on that. I'm like, okay, this, what she was suggesting to me was not going to work. So I said, okay, let's close that door. Thank you for the past and move on. Now, what could better look like now? And like, how can I reimagine that?
And I reached out to a bunch of friends and of course my friends are incredible. And this is why it's so important to show up for people because that's why they show up for you. So my friend showed up. I was so grateful. So many of them came and spoke at my training. So many of them, they all came to my dinner, flew in. I mean, it was just epic.
One of my friends got me a venue, a really cool venue I'd never been to before for us to hold the training during the day. It was just, it was amazing how my crew came together to help support me because things had taken a big turn last minute. So here's what I want you to know. The training went unbelievable. In fact, I think it was so much better than what I had done in the past.
So it was one of those things you're taking a gamble. It's a risk, but I have to say it paid off. Right. And so it was this incredible event. I saw such breakthroughs for people. Some of the issues I'd had in the past where we didn't have recordings done.
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Chapter 2: How can letting go lead to new opportunities?
And this time I hired a video team, like all the problems that I had had in the past, I was able to fix this time knowing and forecasting ahead of time. So sometimes it does make sense. I get it. I wanted to go back to the same way I'd been doing it right last year. I was just going to go path of least resistance because you just think, okay, it's easiest turnkey. We know what works.
Let's keep it moving. There's too much going on right now. But I have to say, I'm so glad that we blew that up and did it a completely different way. It was so much better. So for whatever you're working on this week or this month or whatever, Through the end of this year, yes, we still have time left in 2024. I'm going to challenge you to say, is there a different way we could do this?
Is there a better way? There probably is. And we've got to ask ourselves those questions first. We've got to realize that the path of least resistance isn't always the right path. And I'm so grateful the way that everything turned out. So another reminder, when one door closes, a better one gets opened.
And I was reminded of this last night when a friend of mine explained that a huge deal he had was falling apart. And he's like, I just can't believe this is happening. And I explained the same thing to him. We don't know why right now. However, I do know this and I have total faith in this. That's falling apart for a reason.
It's to your benefit that it's falling apart and a better one's going to open. Something better is going to come because of this. So you've got to let that door close so another one can open. And it's about letting it go. And for a long time when I was younger, I would hang on, hang on for dear life. No, don't let go. And that's how I know now I've learned by doing it the wrong way.
That when you hang on to the old door and don't let go, that new one can't open for you, right? When you hang on to that old person, opportunity, partnership, job, that new one's not going to show up for you. You've got to let go. And I've learned to do that, and I'm getting so much better at it, and I'm so proud of me. But this was just another great example of that.
that vendor would not work with me the way that we had been doing was setting up a situation that I just felt like was not mutually beneficial. I was clear. I'm like, wow, this is no longer for me. You know, shake hands, part friends. Okay. I closed the door. I didn't hold onto it. I didn't beg her to do it a different way. I just moved on.
And as soon as I pivoted and went that other way, so many doors opened up. So many of my friends showed up, this new venue appeared, right? Like all of these amazing things happen. You've got to close the door now.
on the one that's not meant for you and so that was my message last night to my friend was okay I understand it feels like it sucks right now because you thought this was a done deal you thought this was an answer to your problem we don't know yet but letting that door close something so much better is going to show up for you and you just got to move forward in that faith let it go
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Chapter 3: What is the importance of reimagining success?
If you're anything like me, you are too busy doing 800 different things in a day to sit around and think about how you can improve your life. But there are some simple things that you can do that make a huge difference. I mean, let's stop and think about having the right undergarments. They make a huge difference.
But too often, we are not taking the time to find out what the right product line is. Well, I found it for you. If you didn't know, I live in Miami where it is extremely hot already this time of year. We are already sweating like crazy. So I'm always on the hunt to find a bralette that can beat the heat and the humidity without irritating my skin.
Chapter 4: How can messy action contribute to growth?
The Fits Everybody Scoop Bralette is everything that I was looking for. The fabric is soft, but the product offers this incredible support as someone who has a larger chest. It holds everything in without digging, without lines on your skin when you get changed at night. No squeezing, no matter how hot it gets here. The straps never fall. I've never had a bralette like this before.
I'm also super active. and I'm always on the go traveling. My schedule is jam-packed, and I need a bralette that can keep up with my active lifestyle. I recently discovered the Fits Everybody Racerback Bralette, and I didn't even know there was a product like that that existed. It looks perfect under t-shirts, flawless, no lumps, no bumps, while holding me up. I mean, flawless.
finally winning thanks to Skims. Shop Skims Fits Everybody Collection at Skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. It's Skims Fits Everybody Collection at Skims.com.
And when you place your order, check out the creating confidence and let them know we sent you and that we are looking out for you. You are welcome.
Chapter 5: What did Heather learn from her recent experiences?
ask you to try to find your passion.
So that was one of the messages I wanted to share with you today because it was on my heart. Now, I will tell you, last night, oh, this was an interesting one. So there's plenty of things that I do that I say, you know, oh, wow, like the younger version of me would have never been able to handle things so classy, so gracefully. I'm so proud of me. And I still feel that way most of the time.
But every once in a while, your girl gets triggered, right? Like, I'm just going to keep it real. I have my moments where I'm not impressed with me. Well... yesterday was one of them. So here's what happened. I actually went to the symphony in Miami yesterday, which was great as a part of a group of people that I know that are amazing people here in Miami and running in similar circles.
A friend of mine came in from out of town for this. So it was kind of like a big deal, right? So I was super excited to go. And of course, I'm a try hard. So I tried really hard to get ready and look great and wear such a cute dress. But Well, whenever you do that, certain people aren't going to like it, right? Like, you know, the haters are going to show up. I've learned that in my life, right?
The more I shine my light, the more people you're going to help, the more hate and shade you're going to get thrown at you too. I didn't even really think about it, but going in, I guess I should have thought about it. You know, there's a chance somebody's not going to like your outfit or somebody's not going to like how you look, whatever, you know, that's on them, not on me.
I don't really lose sleep over that. So that I am proud of me that that doesn't really bother me much. But the irony is I was sitting with a friend of mine and on the other side of me were two women I did not know. And they were throwing dagger looks at me the entire event to the point where it was awkward. It was very awkward.
I will tell you, when your girl is being obnoxious, loud and rowdy, I was not right there. I was completely quiet. I was doing my best just to whisper. And it was bizarre, but it didn't trigger me. So I turned that into a moment. You know, wow, I'm really proud of myself. I'm not getting upset. I'm not unraveling. I'm not trying to shrink back. I'm going to sit here and be me.
Obviously they're not loving me. Okay. Not everyone's going to love me. Right. And not everyone's going to love you. And it's about just embracing that's okay, but I'm still me. I'm perfectly flawed me and I'm fine sitting in it. I'm just going to sit here and be fine with it. And so it was just a good test for me and for my ego and humility to say, okay, not everyone's going to like me.
Not everyone's going to appreciate me, but I'm still going to show up and just be me and let them do them. So again, in a world where there's so much hate and so much shade that people are throwing for nothing, like I actually felt bad for these ladies. We were sitting at this beautiful symphony. I mean, it was incredible.
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Chapter 6: How to embrace your true self despite criticism?
But we don't react. Because when we react to what somebody else says or does, we're allowing them to control us. And that is not how we roll. Not anymore. OK, so that is my mantra. You know that. And I truly do live by that. And I've been so proud of myself so many times managing that correctly. However, your girl is flawed. Right. I am flawed. I am not. There is zero chance I'm perfect.
There's zero chance I'm nailing something all the time. So actually last night after the symphony, I was triggered by something in a conversation and it really surprised me because I haven't, I unraveled a little bit, had no poker phase, like wasn't able to just stay calm, pause. I really reacted. Something that was said to me shocked me. Remind me of a couple of things.
One, you never know what's going on in somebody else's life. I was shocked by this. But why is it on me to judge that person? Right. Ultimately, that's what it comes down to. We're somewhat judging people when we react like that to them. We're casting our opinion or, you know, upset or because basically that's what it was. I was so shocked by what somebody was telling me.
Chapter 7: What strategies can help when facing negativity?
that I was basically saying like, this is not good. I can't believe you did this. Pretty harsh, right? I'm not going to get into this person's personal details, but if you heard what it was, I think you would probably respond the same way, right? But again, looking back in hindsight and wanting to grow from situations that we have, I could have handled it better.
I didn't need to throw up negativity all over the situation the way I did. I will say this. I did it really quickly. And then as I saw it was hurting his feelings, you know, the way that I was reacting. So me getting triggered was triggering him, which is interesting to see how that all can happen.
And when you walk away and try to get self-aware, whether you journal or you reflect on it the next day, like we're doing right now. It's like a growth moment for me, right? I can see, wow, I didn't need to unravel to the extent that I did. I still think it was a big deal and I've got to just be me and say that's crazy, but I didn't need to beat this person up about it.
Chapter 8: How to maintain grace under pressure?
And then now looking back, seeing that that was hard for him, you know, you kind of have empathy and feel bad for people. Listen, you never know what somebody else is dealing with. Never know it. This is somebody that I've known for months and I had no idea what was happening behind that. this person's life. Like you just, you don't know and you can't assume.
So I guess that for me, sometimes I meet people that are super smart, super successful, interesting, cool. I've hung out with them at situations. I just think like, that's it. Like they've got it all going on. It's amazing. And then when we hang out together, I just, I anticipate everything's going to be, you know, rainbows and lollipops and it just isn't always the way. Right.
So especially right now, let's have some empathy for other people because the world is crazy dark right now. The world is full of negativity. The world's full of media hitting everybody over the head with some insane messages. And I just I would rather us put our best foot forward trying to be the light that amplifies and brings more good and heals more hearts and leads with kindness.
Then another one of these reactionary people that's allowing others to trigger them, control them and downward spiral. However, as I just said, your girl did that last night. But I will say the one thing. OK, let's find the silver lining here. I did it. I started seeing I probably went down that rabbit hole for a couple of minutes, probably I'll say like three or four minutes, maybe five.
And then I pulled myself back out and I stopped. So getting better, right, doesn't happen all the time. But when we allow others to trigger us, we're allowing them to control us. And that is in our rear view. That is why the windshield is bigger than the rear view mirror, right? Like, let's focus on where we're going. We're getting better. Let's appreciate the wins.
Let's feel proud of ourselves and who we are for laws and all and give ourselves grace, right? That was one of the things that I thought about this morning when I was reflecting and I was like, oh gosh, I really unraveled on this poor guy. Probably should not have done that. That was tough. I hit him right between the eyes and that was, oof, that had to be hard to handle.
At the same time, I give myself some grace and say, well, you know, I'm perfectly flawed human and, um, getting better, but we're going to give ourselves some grace today and forgive ourselves. So I hope that you give yourself some grace today. I hope you forgive yourself. Okay. One of the things that I learned in training my team this weekend was
was no matter who you are, everybody struggles with confidence. And I know we talk about this all of the time, but it just really is so surprising to me. Some of these people underestimate themselves and people discredit themselves. Wow. It's just, it's shocking to me.
So for whatever you've got going on this week, whatever big thing you're stepping into, remember there's a fine line between fear and excitement. Lean into being excited. Visualize everything, the outcome going amazing. Visualize it feeling and feeling being positive. We don't know how it's all going to turn out, but let's get excited. That's going to be something incredible.
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