Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
Episodes
Estado de Hidalgo Rants
13 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Rance about the plant life of the state of Hidalgo Mexico, including but not limited to Cephalocereus senilis, Fouquieria fasciculata, Fouquieria purp...
San Luis Potosí Rants
05 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we rant about cacti that grow in ephemeral lagoons, 1500 year old Montezuma Cypresses, cryptic cacti that grow in salty mud basins, Me...
Climate Town with Rollie Williams
24 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ad-Free episodes of the Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't podcast are available on the Patreon atwww.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesntRollie Williams ...
Please Don't "Save the (honey)Bees"
15 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Reed Booth and his assistant Hosh are killer bee exterminators based out of Bisbee, Arizona. In this episode we talk about the ferocity of the scutell...
Native Bee Diversity w/ Krystle Hickman
11 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ad-Free episodes of the podcast are available on the Patreon at : www.patreon.com/CrimepaysbutbotanydoesntKrystle Hickman is a biologist, native bee r...
Black Forager : On Connecting with the Living World
06 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A 2 hour conversation with Alexis Nicole Nelson aka Black Forager about connecting with the living world, ethnobotany, lawn-killing, native plants, ho...
Paleoforaging - The Ethnobotany of Some Central Texas Plants w/ Cyrus Harp
30 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Cyrus Harp is an ethnobotanist, ethnobiologist and author based out of Cetral Texas. In this episode we talk about a number of different plant species...
How to Love a Forest - with Ethan Tapper
27 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ethan Tapper is a forester, author and ecologist out of Vermont, USA. He advocates for a practice called "Ecological Forestry", as opposed to the sh...
Florida Rants
23 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
*Rants about the fire-dependent sand scrub of Central Florida, some of the rarest, most unique and underappreciated plants of the world. The plant com...
KYL LIVE @ the Hideout
03 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A live show originally recorded at The Hideout in Chicago on September 13th 2025. First 4 minutes got cut off accidentally by the sound guy, who other...
KYL Tour Rants 25
28 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about KILL YOUR LAWN tour in the Midwest, River Geography, Hemp Farms in Wisconsin, Prairies, Bison, upset affluent suburban ladies in St Paul, ...
Chicago Coyotes, Prairie Psychedelia, Landscape Architects
21 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ad-Free episodes of the podcast are available on the Patreon at www.patreon/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
Trouble in the Food Forest
05 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Why is there such a strong correlation between invasion biology denial, anthropocentrism, ecological illiteracy and permaculture? How can permaculture...
"Spiritual Remedies of Nuevo León"
03 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode (after a 30 minute societal rant) we talk about Dioon edule and cycads of the foothills of the Sierra Madre, why hemiparasitic members...
Adam Haritan from Learn Your Land
26 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This episode is a conversation with Adam Haritan from the youtube channel Learn Your Land, which covres a diverse variety of topics related to the ec...
Rants about Compost Sh*tting, Plant Metabolism, Compensation Point, Etc
20 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ad-Free episodes of the CPBBD podcast are available on the patreon at https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesntToday's episode consists of ran...
Colorado Springs Southwards
12 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about Green Tea, Lactose Intolerance, mycoheterotrophic plants in New Mexico, Colorado Springs Shale Exposures, Native Plant Takeovers of munici...
I 10 Ramblings to New Mexico
02 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Disjointed Rants about New Mexico's Sacramento Mountains, Mormons, the origins of Ivermectin, Rat-Trap Pitcher plants and Nepenthes hybrids, and more....
Neotropical Oak Forests & Bush-Checking Becky
25 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we rant about Neotropical High-elevation Oak forests of Central America, what the hell introgression is (swapping genes between two sp...
Sashaying Around West Texas Sky Islands
05 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about Davis Mountains fungi, Ponderosa Pine Death from drought, torrential Texas rains, West Texas alcoholics, Mandevilla hypoleuca, Echeveria s...
Four Corners Botany
18 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about Northern New Mexico, Gypsum endemics, Dwarf Milkweed, the Horseshoe Bend Motel Photo, Botany of Horseshoe Bend, Pediocactus in the high de...
Carlsbad Butt Clinic & Sandhills Plant Life
01 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about colonoscopies, plant life on the sandhills East of Carlsbad New Mexico, Eurytaenia hinckleyi (Apiaceae ), Pomaria jamesii (Fabaceae), the ...
Hollistic Healing Colon Cleanse in Gypsum Habitats
29 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about permaculture, holistic livestock snake oil, Southern New Mexico gypsum flats, the Guadalupe Mountains, the Schizandra population in Atlant...
A Clusterf*ck of Mustards - The Order Brassicales
21 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ad-Free versions of this podcast are available for $5 a month on the Crime Pays Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesntIn this e...
Atlanta, Granitic Knobs, Limestone Glades, Native Habitat Project, Etc.
09 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we talk about the granite/gneiss knobs that surround the Atlanta, Georgia area and the cool plants that grow there, getting unintentio...
Easter Brunch With Father Santore Livestream
20 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A 2 hour, unhinged livestream rant about ecological succession in lawn slaughter, book reviews, the deranged texas anti-plant bill (SB 1868), and more...
Costa Rica Habitat Synopsis Rants
11 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Episodes of the Crime Pays podcast are available Ad-Free on the Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't Patreon at: www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntIn t...
Mosquito Traps & Burrowing "Toads"
30 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about Mosquito Traps, Burrowing "toads" (Rhinophrynus dorsalis), Texas botanists' resistance to using scientific names, replacing windas, a new ...
Trans-Pecos Botany with Dr Mike Powell
26 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Dr. Michael Powell is the curator of the Sul Ross Herbarium in Alpine, Texas and a proverbial wizard of West Texas Botany and Plants of the Trans-Peco...
The New Plant Species Discovered in a National Park
20 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Deb Manley is a naturalist and long-distance hiker who in March 2024 discovered a plant species that was entirely new to science: Ovicula biradiata (...
Neotropical Bamboos : What the &@#$ is Gregarious Monocarpy?
18 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Episodes of this podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at :www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntDr. Lynn Clark studies neotropical bamboos -...
Forest Restoration, Burning & Dam Removal
16 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Bruce Shoemaker is a researcher on natural resource conflicts andauthor of the book "Dead in the Water", about hydropower projects and extractive pred...
"The Living World" Rant & Orchid Pollination Biology
09 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we talk about why the word "nature" sucks; how to use the living world to avoid focusing on doom and idiocracy; why aimlessly walking ...
Could Peyote Be An Endangered Species One Day?
07 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ad-Free episodes of the Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't Podcast are available on the patreon at :https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesntIn th...
Chicago Museums, Welwitschia Diorama, Public Urination
05 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about museums in Chicago, the hall of botany at the field museum, drop-in sinks, Euglossine bees, the genus Gnetum, getting the cops called on y...
New Plant Discovered in West Texas, Neotropical Palms, & Panama Hats
26 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at : https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesntRants about the New Ast...
Guayusa Rants
20 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A 2 hour rant about the upper Amazon, the Paramo, ant symbiosis, Ilex guayusa, ethnobotany at the fruit market, giant neotropical bamboos, and much mo...
Upper Amazon Fungi w/ Alan Rockefeller in Ecuador
10 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A conversation with mycologist Alan Rockefeller about fungal and plant biodiversity of the upper Amazon of Ecuador.Episodes of the Crime Pays podcast ...
Atlas Nativa de Chile - Miquel Moya
29 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Miguel Moya is a naturalist and designer who produces field guides and posters for native plants in Chile. In this episode we talk about the sclerophy...
Alerce Forests, Bog Tarantulas, & Arachnitis uniflora
25 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we talk about Alerce Forests, Ocelot Tarantulas that live in bogs in Temperate Rainforests, Why the Rosulate Form Makes sense in Alpin...
Araucaria Forests of Chile
24 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about the Araucaria forests of Nahuelbuta and Conguillo, Chile : Towering, 1200 year-old Araucaria araucana trees with an understory of Nothofag...
Chilean Flora w/ Botanist Nico Lavandero
21 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Nico Lavandero is a Chilean Botanist who has described 8 new species of plants in Chile and is in the proc of describing many more. In this podcast we...
Birdsong Landscapes
11 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Austin Miller runs Birdsong Landscapes, a native plant landscaping company and Natural History page based out of Southwest Ohio. In this episode we ta...
Potential Problems with Blight-Resistant Chestnuts
06 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
For some background on the developing story of creating a blight-resistant American chestnut, please check out the podcast episode a few episodes back...
Better Living Through Reptiles
02 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we sit down with Kyle Elmore of the youtube channel @popmilk for a two hour talk about herping (lurking for reptiles and amphibians), ...
The Ruined Christmas Podcast
31 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about ruining Christmas, disappointed family members, mixing and making soil recipes, Thornscrub Sanctuary update, maintaining a positive outloo...
Dissecting the American Retail Slum
30 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we talk with Crime Pays Field Correspondent WIll Doran about his traumatic experiences in the Car and Retail Slums of the American Sun...
Talking Philosophy with Kerry Knudsen
16 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Kerry Knudsen is a Lichen Biologist who originated outside of academia and worked in construction until becoming fascinated by the natural world and i...
What Happened to the Transgenic American Chestnut?
11 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Here's your reminder that all episodes of the Crime Pays podcast are available ad-free (because ads are the equivalent of cold sores) on the Patreon a...
Mycorrhizal Harvesting, Sky Island Extirpations
10 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we talk about how we are explicitly NOT condoning it, how to harvest mycorrhizae from soil duff, what is "KNR" and what "IMO"s are, th...
Adam Black is NOT a Permaculture Activist
08 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode I sit down withAdam Black about planting fruit trees in the park, how to save the honeybees, why invasive species don't exist, and how...
Native, Invasive & Basic Biogeography
05 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If the terrible Ads are bumming you out, then episodes are available on the Patreon Ad-Free at https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesntIn th...
A Conversation About Human Relationships with the Biosphere
30 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If the ads are a bummer, then join the Patreon, where you'll have early access to videos, exclusive access to learning material, and Ad-Free episodes ...
Plant Speciation Podcast for You Rotten Degenerates
27 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This podcast episode is available ad-free on the Patreon with a screenshare of the presentation that accompanies it at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbot...
Tectonic City
16 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If the ads are a bummer, keep in mind all episodes of the Crime Pays podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at : www.patreon.com/c/crimepaysbutb...
A Deep Dive Into Coyote Bush
05 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ads are terrible, Ads are hell, and if they bother you, here's a reminder that you can avoid them altogether by listening to this podcast Ad-Free on t...
Oklahoma City, Limestone endemism, Relict Habitat of West Texas, and more
25 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If the ads are annoying, keep in mind all podcast episodes are offered ad-free on the Patreon at : www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt, where yo...
Plant Anatomy, Again with Dr. Jim Mauseth
16 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If the ads are bumming you out, keep in mind that ad-free episodes of the podcast are available at :www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntDid you kn...
Plant Tissue Systems Lecture
12 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A reminder: the ads on this podcast (as well as most podcasts) are terrible. You can get AD-FREE versions of this podcast episode on the crime pays pa...
Chris Best, State Botanist - USFW
10 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If the ads are bumming you out, consider joining the Patreon where all podcast episodes are uploaded ad free at : https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysBut...
Debunking Charlatans & Posers with Professor Dave Explains
08 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A reminder: the ads on this podcast (as well as most podcasts) are terrible. You can get AD-FREE versions of this podcast episode on the crime pays pa...
Archaeology, Texas History and Public Land
04 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
David Keller is a historian and archaeologist from West Texas who based out of Alpine, Texas.
Da Tubes Lecture (Shoots and Roots)
03 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Originally recorded as a class lecture, this podcast episode contains information on root structures and shoots and is accompanied by the PDF found at...
Phylogenetic Crash Course podcast
26 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This is the spoken part of a lecture that was presented for patreon subscribers and students on the patreon. To see the accompanying PDF and hear ad-f...
Texas' Rarest Plant, Caliche Gardens & Crested Peyote
20 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A reminder: the ads on this podcast (as well as most podcasts) are terrible. You can get AD-FREE versions of this podcast episode on the crime pays pa...
Lycophytes, Quillworts & the "Great Dying"
16 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
I became fixated on lycophytes because of some of the cool desert-dwelling members of the genus Selaginella, not to mention the utterly weird "clubmos...
West Texas Pine Harvest and Alternation of Generations
13 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A rant about West Texas Pines and the sand blazing star. At the 40 minute mark we begin our dive into the convoluted, confusing but utterly cool pheno...
A Conversation with Dan Hosage
07 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A conversation with Chemist, Genius, Botanist,, Propagator, & Madman Dan Hosage about Texas Native Plants, Texas History, and more.
Convincing Mice to Vote for Cats
30 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
NON-BOTANY PODCAST! This week's podcast is a conversation with my friend Jay Lesoleil, political anthropologist and half the means behind the "Fucki...
Oaks Are the Beasts of An Ecosystem! A Discussion with Dr. Andrew Hipp
22 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Andrew Hipp is the director of the herbarium and Senior Sciensist and Researcher in Plant Systematics at Morton Arboretum in Chicago. This is one of ...
Aquatic Botany with Casey Williams
14 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Casey Williams is an botanist and plant ecologist specializing in aquatic plants - both plants that grow completely submerged and which can emerge abo...
Rustbelt Tour Recap & Ouachita Orogeny
06 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Vernonia lettermannii and other cool plants of Western Arkansas Novaculite, Ouachita Mountain Orogeny, Chert Glades of Western Missouri, the most obno...
Mycology Catch-Up w/ Alan Rockefeller
07 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Alan Rockefeller is a mycologist and educator who has been studying mushrooms all over the world for the past 20 years and recently helped described t...
Dr. Daniela Zappi - Brazilian Plant Ecology
03 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Dr. Daniela Cristina Zappi is a Brazilian botanist, plant collector, and research scientist at the herbarium of the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew noted f...
Zoe Schlanger, Author of The Light Eaters
27 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Zoe Schlanger is the author of newly released book "The Light Eaters", which shines a new light on researchers studying plant "intelligence" and behav...
Texas Botany with Michael Eason
24 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The state of Texas is one of the most diverse states for plants (and geology) in the US, and contains a large number of plant species that can't be fo...
Andrew "The Arborist" Conboy
18 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this we talk with Andrew Conboy about street trees, urban forestry, habitat restoration, getting stoked on native plant life and how it's practical...
Guanajuato, Mexico Recap Part 2 - Floristic Affinities & Biogeography
13 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Two hours of rants about wonderful plants in Central Mexico. A follow-up to the previous episode and a description of plant species, taxonomic affinit...
Central Mexico Recap & Habitat Summary
11 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This episode sponsored by Fiberpad, where you can glue duct-taped wheatgrass and fiberglass to your face in order to clear up any blemishes nice. What...
Pollination Systems & Bird Pollination with Jeff Ollerton
28 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Jeff Ollerton is a pollination biologist and researcher based out of the EU and currently working in KunMing, Yunnan Province, China. He has written t...
Rio Grande Valley Botany with Ernest Herrera
25 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we talk with field botanist Ernest Herrera about the rich floristic diversity of the Rio Grande Valley region of South Texas and North...
Central Texas Orchids, Limestone sinkholes, New Aster species
22 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we talk about why plant "rescue" is a bullshit term, how Epipactis is probably pollinated hoverflies that it dupes, whats up with this...
Death Valley Botany with Matt Berger
30 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we talk with Botanist Matt Berger about Death Valley Plants, discovering new species, Limestone endemic plants, Dune Beetles, Desert S...
The Other 99% of Life on Planet Earth : Couch Microscopy with Dr. Julia van Etten
23 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This conversation will make you want to buy a microscope and will make you rethink the way you envision the Tree of Life, where animals, plants and fu...
Western Railroading, Sobriety, & Male Archetypes
23 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we take a break from botany-related content to talk with my friend and fellow former locomotive engineer and railroader Lance Jenkins ...
Diatomaceous Earth, Horse Cripplers & Leaf Blowers
20 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
South Texas Sandsheet, Uvalde County Botany, Using a Leafblower & Diatomaceous Earth to rid yourself of crabs, what the sh*t is a Heterokont aka S...
Hunter Martinez aka Cactus Quest
13 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we talk with Hunter Martinez of the Cactus Quest YouTube Channel about how he got into growing cacti from seed and lurking on them in ...
Riding Trains in Mexico, Contagious Native Plant Gardens,etc
30 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A series of extended rants about "F*ck the Honeybees", trying to settle beefs between friends, Male Primate Rivalry, Riding Trains in Mexico in 2005 &...
Instagram Drug Bros & Cactus Poaching
22 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A long-winded rant about the social media phenomenon known as Instagram Drug Bros™️ and trying to encourage them to seek spiritual refuge (como se...
Desert Ferns with Dr. Michael Windham
12 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This is a science-heavy episode with Dr. Michael Windham, specialist in Cheilanthoid Ferns curator at Duke Herbarium. Even if you're not interested in...
An Undescribed Psilocybin sp. in the Desert
12 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This episode consists of a rant about code-switching and friendship/cordiality through friction and being a pain in the ass, along with why dissecting...
Fighting Invasive Buffelgrass in Arizona & Restoring Desert Ecosytems
04 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A conversation with Tony Figueroa, Senior Manager for the Invasive Plant Program at the Tucson Audubon Society (no affiliation with the National Org) ...
The Closing of Duke Herbarium
01 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A conversation with Dr. Kathleen Pryer (Director, Duke University Herbarium) and Dr. Michael Windham, (Curator of Vascular Plants, Duke University Her...
Baja Buckwheats, Railroad Stories & Prosopidastrum
27 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about encountering a cool new legume species in the fog deserts and giant cactus landscapes of Baja California, the diversity of perennial raaaa...
Annotated, Profanity-laden Dichotomous Keys & the Fungal Ecology of Baja Chaparral
24 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A long, disjointed rant about using and writing Dichotomous Keys and why it's sometimes a process of grasping for straws or throwing a bunch of stuff ...
Javelina Mngmnt, Restoration, & Peyote Vultures
08 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
More Deranged Rants, this time about Javelina Management, Getting City Approval for Cactus Restoration and Street Trees, growing endangered plants fro...
Limestone Desert Ferns, Montezuma Cypress on the Border
01 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about Montezuma Cypress on the Rio Grande, Cool Desert Ferns in West Texas and the Subfamily Cheilanthoideae of the fern family Pteridaceae, DEA...
Watering Before a Freeze, Goliad Gravels
14 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about South Texas Geology, Geologic Timeline Apps for your D@mn phone, why its better to water before a freeze, being dragged by a freight train...
Tucson Again, Agaves, Freezing in NM
06 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Rants about freezing while trying to sleep in the back of a truck in Lordsburg, New Mexico, why Agaves are monocarpic, the importance of having a "tar...
The Flower That Looks Like a Bird (especially if you're high) & other rants
20 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A roughly 77 minute rant about how an Australian plant in the legume Family named Crotalaria cunninghamii "looks a like a bird" but only to humans who...