Content Warning: This episode discusses the deaths of individuals. If you’re sensitive to this topic, this episode may not be for you. In this episode of Mayhem in the Morgue, Chief Medical Examiner Dr. Kendall Crowns reflects on how celebration and death often share the same season. From Christmas music echoing through the medical examiner's office to a door-decorating contest that nearly led to suspension, he recalls the unusual ways morgue culture adapts to the holidays. Dr. Crowns also recounts a corporate holiday party that ended in homicide, explains the science behind neck injuries, and remembers the “death watch” he and his father kept while delivering newspapers to those who died alone during the most festive time of the year. Highlights • (0:00) Welcome to Mayhem in the Morgue with Dr. Kendall Crowns • (0:45) Christmas music in the morgue and a memory that tested family tolerance • (3:45) Door-decorating competitions from residency and the Rudolph controversy • (7:30) Holiday parties, the rumored poisoning case, and the politics of the potluck table • (11:00) The dangers of open bars at holiday office parties and a rivalry gone wrong • (14:00) Understanding subarachnoid hemorrhages, vertebral artery tears, and blunt-force trauma • (17:45) Decomposition and the reality of those who die unnoticed, leading to the “death watch” lessons learned on a paper route • (22:15) Closing reflections: the importance of checking in on others during the holiday season About the Host: Dr. Kendall Crowns Dr. Crowns is the Chief Medical Examiner for Travis County, Texas, and a nationally recognized forensic pathologist. He las led death investigations in Travis County, Fort Worth, Chicago, and Kansas. Over his career, he has performed thousands of autopsies and testified in court hundreds of times as an expert witness. A frequent contributor to Crime Stories with Nancy Grace, Dr. Crowns brings unparalleled insight into the strange, grisly, and sometimes absurd realities of forensic pathology. About the Show Mayhem in the Morgue takes listeners inside the bloody, bizarre, and often unbelievable world of forensic pathology. Hosted by Chief Medical Examiner Dr. Kendall Crowns, each episode delivers real-life cases from the morgue, the crime scene, and the courtroom. Expect gallows humor, hard truths, and unforgettable investigations. Connect and Learn More Learn more about Dr. Kendall Crowns on Linkedin. Catch him regularly on Crime Stories with Nancy Grace and follow Mayhem in the Morgue where you get your podcasts. If you liked this episode, don’t keep it to yourself—follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave us a review.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: How does holiday music impact the atmosphere in a morgue?
This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Today's episode has information about the death of individuals. If this sort of thing upsets you, this is once again not the episode for you. May I suggest you read a book, something like My Travels with Charlie.
Welcome to Mayhem in the Morning with your host, Dr. Kendall Crowns.
Today's episode, holidays. Merry Christmas and happy holidays from Mayhem in the Morgue. As the weather gets colder outside and the holidays are fast approaching, I thought in today's episode we could discuss some things commonly associated with this time of year. And those things are holiday celebrations and decomposition. So let's get started.
Now that Thanksgiving has passed, offices all over the U.S. are preparing for their annual holiday festivities, and medical examiner's offices are no exception. Every office and hospital I have ever worked at gets into the spirit of the season in a variety of ways. There is usually holiday music, decorating competitions, and, of course, parties.
Chapter 2: What humorous incidents occurred during door-decorating competitions?
Every morgue I have ever worked in has had music playing, except one, and that was the Cook County Medical Examiner's office. The chief medical examiner there said music was distracting in the morgue and disrupted the thought process, and it was always quiet, except for the sound of people working and having discussions.
And of course, the only music that ever occurred was the scream of the bone saws grinding against the skulls. But everywhere else, music was always part of the day. And during the holidays, the music can take a more festive turn. My first holiday season in a morgue was as an autopsy tech.
The hospital I worked at was a Catholic hospital, and during the holidays, they played Christmas music throughout the workday on the PA system. In the morgue, it came through a circular speaker covered with a gray metal grate next to the clock above the chalkboard where the doctors wrote down the organ weights.
i remember one particular day i was assisting on an autopsy of an individual who died of lung cancer due to their love of nicotine during the autopsy we were looking for metastases and i have a very distinctive memory of a traditional rendering of o tannenbaum as i was opening up an intestine at the doctor's request cleaning out the feces, and looking for lesions.
Later on that day, when we were done with the autopsy, I remember a musical version of O Little Town of Bethlehem playing as I was sewing the decedent back together. When I got home that evening, my mother asked me how work went, and I relayed the story that I have just discussed. including the two songs that I distinctly remembered. And when I got done with the story, she just started crying.
I asked her why she was so upset, and she stated that such things should not occur with Christmas music playing.
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Chapter 3: What are the dangers of open bars at holiday office parties?
And it was at that moment I realized that my mother really couldn't handle what I did for work. And after that, we didn't discuss the details of my work anymore. It was just too difficult for her to hear. And over the years, she would sometimes see something on TV about a case that happened in a jurisdiction I worked in, and she would call and ask me, was that one of my cases?
And I would say, yes. And her response would be, oh my. In other morgues I have worked at, as a doctor, I actually ask during the holidays for any other music than Christmas music to be played. Box of Rain, Shake It Off, Wildest Dreams, even Bad Blood are always preferred to holiday songs because I just like to keep death and Santa separate in my mind.
Holiday decorating is another very common thing that occurs at medical examiner's offices. People decorate their offices, or they often decorate their door. Door decorating competitions have been part of every level of my career. They can be simple placards stating Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to elaborate designs, depending on the artistic ability of those involved.
When I was in residency at the Veterans Administration Hospital, I shared an office with two other residents. One was a second-year resident and the other was a fourth-year or senior resident, almost ready to finish. We shared a medium-sized office that was a white and gray nondescript room with a kind of light blue carpet.
Chapter 4: How can neck injuries lead to serious health issues?
We each had a workstation with a microscope and a computer that was connected to the VA's computer system so we could access patient information. There was a single communal computer along one wall that had access to this crazy new thing called the World Wide Web that had a download speed of a whopping 14.4 bits per second.
In my first year of residency, I spent the holidays at the SPIA hospital in this room. And when the holiday season started, the pathology department decided that we could all decorate our doors. The second and fourth year pathology resident and I decided to participate.
We came up with a plan, and the next day, the second year resident came in with construction paper, and we began cutting out and crafting our designs. I traced a picture of the VA hospital on a morgue light table that we used for looking at old Kodachrome slides. And then we obtained Xerox copies of all the ID badges of the staff pathologists, as well as our ID badges.
The purpose of this was we were going to cut out the faces from each of the pictures and used them to decorate the construction paper figures that we were making. The finished product showed Santa and two elves in a sleigh being pulled by nine tiny flying reindeer through the sky over the VA hospital. We used the face of the fourth-year resident to decorate Santa.
and Santa had a whip in her hand and was whipping the reindeer. The two elves were myself and the second year resident and we were throwing packages out of the back of the sleigh. Glued on the reindeer bodies were the faces of the staff pathologists with cute little antlers on their heads.
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of the 'death watch' during the holidays?
The lead reindeer, or Rudolph, was the chief of the pathology department. He had an extra decoration of a circular red nose glued onto his face. We were very happy with our creation and thought we were very witty. Several of the staff pathologists and other employees came up and saw our decorations and thought they were very humorous.
After about an hour or so, we heard the chief pathologist walking down the hallway. He was a very big man. He was from some European country that I can't remember what one it was. His voice was always very booming, and he was not someone that you ever wanted to make mad because he would get incredibly angry.
When he saw our door decoration, he took an instant disliking to it and said that we were implying that he was a drunkard by placing the red nose on it. The fourth-year resident said no, it's Rudolph, you know, with his nose so bright, leading the sleigh, and it had nothing to do with his proclivity towards intoxication.
He didn't buy that Rudolph crap, and said it was totally us taking a shot at him, and he told us to remove it, unless we would like to be suspended from the program, which none of us wanted. We quickly complied, and for the rest of the month, our decoration was Santa and his elves being pulled in a sleigh by nine tiny reindeer,
with the lead reindeer, Rudolph, being the headless, decapitated reindeer, ghostly leading the sleigh through the night sky, which was definitely not the story I had heard as a child. The last component of the holidays at the morgue is the end-of-the-year holiday party. There is always one somewhere.
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Chapter 6: How do holiday parties sometimes lead to unexpected outcomes?
Some are simple events with just cookies. One time, the only person who showed up with cookies was my wife, Beth. But everybody enjoyed them, and some were questionably catered. And then there are, of course, others that were potlucks. At potlucks, there would always be a wide range of food, and people who brought the food were always excellent cooks. And there would always be way too much food.
It was hard to know what to eat, and it could become a political minefield because some people would get offended if you didn't eat what they brought. and then carry a grudge for the rest of the year. One time I was not feeling particularly hungry, so I just got a roll and some carrots and cucumber from a vegetable plate that I had brought. I have always been unsure where to sit at these affairs.
I sat down at an empty table to eat, when the chief medical examiner and the chief of toxicology sat down at the table with me. After that, no one else would sit there. They both had plates full of food, and the chief started asking me questions immediately about why I had so little. Are you a vegan? Are you lactose intolerant?
Chapter 7: What lessons can we learn from office potluck politics?
Gluten issues? Issues with shapes and colors of food? What is it? Why do you have so little? My answer was basically, well, no, I just didn't feel like eating anything today. He said, interesting. That doesn't make any sense. Is that the food you brought? And I said, well, yes, it was the food I brought. And he said, that's suspicious.
And then he turned and started talking to the chief toxicologist about office issues. and they forgot I was sitting there. I quickly ate my food and got out of there before the next round of questions came. It's because of incidents like that. Office parties and potlucks have always been anxiety-provoking affairs for me.
Chapter 8: Why is it important to check in on others during the holiday season?
At one office I worked at, one of the employees was rumored to have done prison time for having poisoned her husband. I don't know if this was true or something older employees like to say to mess with the new guys, but at the office potluck, the first thing I would do was determine which item was hers. I would ask one of the older employees, and they would always point it out.
It was usually in a gray, medium-sized, slow cooker or crock pot, often relegated to the rear of the table. It would sit there and often be some sort of soup or bean dip concoction, slowly bubbling quietly. As soon as I identified it, I would not touch it for fear that it had been poisoned. I never noticed if anyone else took anything from it.
She always brought something for the potluck, so if no one ate it, she was evidently never discouraged by this. I do know that no employee that ever worked there died or got sick right after the potluck. I think back on this and I wonder, did they make up this legend to convince the new employees that her food was somehow tainted?
And it was actually that it was really good, and the long-term employees knew it. And by telling this to the new people, there'd be less of it taken and more food for them. If this is true, that was an incredibly sneaky move. We will now turn from potlucks to the more dangerous and lethal office parties. And these are catered off-site parties with an open bar.
Parties like this are usually well-received. They're outside of the office. They're catered. They're somewhere fancy, somewhere employees don't necessarily ever get to go. So they're very exciting. And the majority of employees love these types of parties. And plus, they have an open bar. And that means free drinks for all. And people really enjoy this.
But some of the employees, too much alcohol brings out the worst in them. When they're sober and at work, they're quiet, meek, mild, keep to themselves and non-confrontational. But when they're drunk, they become loud and belligerent, argumentative, and even, sometimes, violent. I had a case that's a very good example of this particular problem.
It occurred at a holiday party for a big-name corporation. It was a grand, catered affair at an expensive hotel in the downtown area. There was plenty of food, refreshments, cake. and an open bar with unlimited drinks.
There were two employees that had an intense rivalry over who had the most sales within their section, and at that party, they became more and more intoxicated, and things began to escalate to the point that they began shouting at each other about who could sell things the best. And this turned into a shoving match. And then punches were thrown. Other employees tried to intervene.
And then they started fighting. And the party turned into a brawl. At some point, the original combatants found each other again and continued their fight. One punched the other to his knees.
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