Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark
Your Husband Or Son Is Watching Porn — Now What? | EZ Zwayne
23 Jan 2026
Chapter 1: What percentage of kids have seen porn before middle school?
94% of 11 year olds have seen porn. What is happening to their brains before they even get to middle school?
Destruction, depression, isolation, inability to make decisions. Porn isn't always the issue. Men have pornographic machines in their brains. We've got memory.
Chapter 2: How does porn affect the brains of children and adults?
We've got imagination. This is really the tragedy is that there are a lot of men who have this deception in their minds that masturbation is okay. I can't tell you how many parents I've talked to and I've said, hey, you know, what kind of filters do you have on your computers? What kind of filters do you have on your kids' phones? And they're just kind of like, what do you mean filters?
What are you supposed to do when you catch your little boy watching porn or find it on your husband's phone? Pretend it's normal, blame hormones, or finally confront the digital drug that's rewiring your family? Today, we're exposing how porn is hijacking kids' brains before middle school and killing real intimacy in marriages.
I'm joined by Ezs Wayne, pastor, speaker, and cultural commentator who helps men break free from sexual bondage and rebuild their lives, their relationships, and spiritual health.
We talk about why the porn industry is bigger than Netflix, Disney, and the NFL combined, how it targets children and married men, what isolation is doing to families, and what parents and spouses can actually do to protect their homes and restore trust. This conversation is uncomfortable, but ignoring it will cost your family everything.
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Let us know why you love the show. Please welcome pastor and author EZ's Wayne to Culture Apothecary. 94% of 11 year olds have seen porn. What is happening to their brains before they even get to middle school?
Destruction. A lot of people don't realize the effects on the neuroplasticity in the brain from looking at porn. You know, we're living in an age
alex where people because of how prevalent pornography is they have this mindset and understanding that it's not that harmful so it creates this deception but when you look at what happens especially with young kids in terms of depression isolation inability to make decisions pornography wreaks havoc on the brain it gets them hooked from very early age and leads to all sorts of destructive behaviors
Is it true that porn can literally shrink your capacity to have a sexual desire for your future spouse?
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Chapter 3: What should parents do when they discover their child is watching porn?
So it's an issue of value. I've often said value impacts behavior. What we value will impact how we behave. We don't treat a penny in the same way we treat a $100 bill. There are days I'm walking around, I'll see a penny on the ground or one will drop out of my pocket. I don't give it the time of day to stoop down and pick it up. But you and I would never do that with a $100 bill.
So value impacts behavior. But if the United States government suddenly switched those values and the penny became worth $100 and the $100 bill became worth a penny, you can be sure that our behavior would change. Start using the $100 bill as a scrap paper to write on or maybe a napkin to wipe our hands with. And then we'd weep buckets of tears over all the pennies we didn't pick up.
Because we realized that we'd be a millionaire by now. So it's an issue of value. We need to reorient our value system.
Do you think there's correlation between pornography usage and this uptick in erectile dysfunction we're seeing in really young men?
Oh, no question. It's a known phenomenon. Because what happens is when you have those massive dopamine dumps, when you're entranced by unrealistic sexual behavior, I mean, it's all dressed up. It's all hyped. You know, a lot of these people are on drugs when they're engaging in these things. It gets you to a place where normal sex doesn't even satisfy you anymore.
where it just doesn't do it for you anymore. And that's why it even accelerates. You see people getting into all kinds of deviant pornographic behavior. In fact, one of the most popular genres of porn right now is incest. And who would fathom that? But you have to go further and deeper in order for the satisfaction to intensify.
Talk about how the porn industry is bigger than Disney. It's bigger than the NFL. It's bigger than Netflix, all combined even. Like, what are the sneaky ways that the porn industry is targeting men?
Well, it's everywhere. You can't get away from it. They infuse it into advertisement. They infuse it into movies, into television programs, into podcasts. Everywhere you go, you can't escape it. But the problem is, Alex, isn't just what the industry is doing. It's what people are not doing. Especially, you mentioned kids earlier, especially what parents aren't doing to guard their kids.
I can't tell you how many parents I've talked to and I've said, hey, you know, what kind of filters do you have on your computers? What kind of filters do you have on your kids' phones? And they're just kind of like, what do you mean filters? And so there isn't any proactivity on the parts of parents to make sure that their kids don't go in that direction.
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Chapter 4: How can couples address porn addiction in a marriage?
And that is, hey, where are you in this regard? And, you know, I heard a very well-known pastor say, the question isn't anymore, do you look at pornography? The question is, is when was the last time you looked at porn?
Yep. So I asked that probably like on the, I'd probably say like if I make it to like a third date, I'm not going to say that on a first date, but on a third date, I'm like, when was the last time you watched porn? And they're like, yeah.
Yeah.
And I mean, the answers are really interesting. You know, it's like probably like within the last month or so, I'm really trying to get better at it. Or I mean, probably like a couple of years ago, I really felt convicted about it. Or, you know, never. And I'm like, never. And then, you know, I'm really pressing. But yeah, that's I think that's really important.
And it's a question like right now, I feel like the hype is like, OK, we're really grilling them about are you a Christian? We're really grilling them about your political views. But like nobody is talking about this.
And what's interesting to me is the amount of women in my audience who are messaging me saying, I've been married for four years and I'm just discovering my husband has this serious porn issue. And I'm like, wow, that is scary. I just feel so much for those women.
But if there was a way to find that out before even getting married, I mean, if you've got a pathological liar when it comes to this issue and he's really hiding it like a true addict was, how do you think that you can kind of snuff this out?
Yeah. Well, first of all, let me just say that the question is so important and has to be asked. And a lot of women have this misconception that, oh, well, maybe he's just struggling now because he's not married. You know, the guys that seem to struggle with porn most are the guys that are married because they're now in that realm. They're experiencing it.
It gives them the opportunity to wander more in their thoughts. And I can't tell you how many men I know that have plunged into that in marriage. Marriage is destroyed because of it. And I think a lot of young women kind of want to plug their ears, close their eyes and pretend like it's not going on.
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Chapter 5: What are the sneaky ways the porn industry targets children?
Because kids are a lot smarter than parents realize. I've been educated by kids who have told me what they were doing to get around the system, how they were able to access pornography on apps you would think, what in the world does that have to do with porn? But they're more media savvy or tech savvy than we realize.
And so you wanna be careful in giving them the opportunity to go in that direction. And you do it in love, look, The problem, Alex, is that parents are trying to tackle this when their kids are already entrenched in it. So you have to have what I call, and I talk about it in my book, preventative preparedness. You have to be determined to head off the dangers that lie ahead.
And so you've got to be proactive. These are your children, your custodians of the children of God that he's entrusted in your care. And you can't be lied about it.
What do you think is the right age to talk to your kids about porn?
I would say you kind of have kind of pre-talks, if you would, before you get to the main talk. You talk to them about our propensity as people to be lured and tempted by things that are wrong. You talk to them about desires that they might have that they could relate to even at a young age, 6, 7, 8, 9. As they enter pre-teen years, you start to up it a little bit.
I'd say around 12, 13, you really open up that box in a deep way. And you may even need to before that, depending on the circumstance your child is in. If your kid is in school, you need to talk about it way sooner because they're going to get- Or just maybe like somebody might show you bad pictures. Exactly. You're tactful with how you do it, with how you approach it.
But again, 95 or 94% of 11-year-olds will have looked at porn. It's insanity. And so you can't just have this thought of, oh, well, no big deal. Even things that you're watching. A friend recently was watching, I think it was an Andy Griffith show. And a commercial comes on with drag queens on it, like Andy Griffith.
So you have to think ahead on what they might see, what they might hear already. And so I'd say the sooner the better, but you adapt it to their age.
You talk a lot about how sex can be twisted into a weapon. How can somebody recognize whether a natural desire has been turned destructive or not?
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Chapter 6: How can parents effectively protect their kids from porn?
We love people through sacrificial service. It says in the Word, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And when I talk to men about what it means to be a man, my book's called Fight Like a Man, right? And there's a reason for that. We're living in a day where a Supreme Court justice candidate couldn't even tell us what a real woman is and much less a man.
And so we're living in a day and age that's confused. And when I talk about fighting like a man, I'm talking not so much about what we would consider as masculinity, someone who's deep-voiced and buff and athletic. That can all be true. But a real man is someone that has courage, conviction, devotion, dedication.
Self-control.
Self-control, love, a willingness to sacrifice and lay their lives down for another. I ask men this. I say, look— If this guy came up to your wife, pulled his fist back and was about to clock her in the face and you were there, would you not jump in front of him and absorb that blow? Would you not fight him off if you could?
A woman, if a man is pointing a gun at your children and is about to pull the trigger, would you not jump in front of him and take that bullet and fight that guy off if you could? Of course. But we're not willing to do that when it comes to protecting our husbands, our wives, our children from our sin of pornography, from our sin of sexual immorality. And something is wrong there.
We have to step it up and say, no, this is worth the fight because of those that I claim to love.
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Chapter 7: What questions should women ask about porn when dating?
And so there has to be that recognition of, wow, first of all, that could be me. And second of all, maybe that has been me. You know, when we look at Scripture and it talks about a whole host of sexual sins in 1 Corinthians 6, and then it says, and such were some of you. And such were some of you. So it's that reminder of that that was once us.
And so there has to be empathy and sympathy and compassion. Otherwise, there's a blindness there and it's going to be counterproductive.
Can you share a positive story where somebody successfully reframed sexual desire as a sacred connection rather than just something to consume?
You know, one of the things I did in my book at the end, which I'll do in every book I ever write, as I put an email address where I said, if this book has impacted you, I want to hear your story.
Love that.
I can't tell you how many, because yeah, it's like social media, you're going to get responses on your posts or whatever, but a book goes out, you just never know what happened or how it impacted anyone. And so I have a whole inbox that is full of emails from men whose lives have been changed through the truth of God's word. And it's been a joy. One in particular whose marriage was on the brink.
He said, hey, we were like on the brink. My wife was about to leave me. I read your book. I read the biblical principles in there. I repented. I confessed to my wife and it transformed everything. And I mean, I'm a man, but I'm reading these things and I'm like bawling my eyes out because that's the thing. There is hope in the Lord.
that no matter how badly you've fallen, how deeply you've gone in a sexual sin, there is hope. We're talking about the God who raises the dead and he can transform you.
Do you think that society leans too heavily on addiction language instead of bondage language? Yeah. Why does that matter?
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