Dad Starting Over

Sexless Marriage: “I Love You… But I’m Not In Love With You”

03 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

A 47-year-old husband wrote to me after 17 years of marriage.No big fights.No confirmed cheating.Just slow emotional drift.Then one day she said:“I ...

High-Conflict Divorce: What Men Get Wrong (w/ Chris and Lisa from "Been There, Got Out")

27 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Divorce isn’t just emotional — it can turn into psychological warfare.In this livestream, I sit down with Chris and Lisa from Been There Got Out, ...

When Trauma Destroys Everything

20 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

How does someone hold their life together at a high level for years — career, marriage, kids — and then suddenly blow it all up?I read a message f...

Why Marriages Drift Into “Kids Only” Mode

13 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Most marriages don’t blow up overnight.They drift.They drift from us… to the family… and eventually to two exhausted roommates running a daycare...

Why Age Gaps Suddenly Became Creepy

06 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

For most of human history, age differences in couples weren’t controversial at all.Now they’re treated like a moral crisis.So what changed?I break...

When Vulnerability Ends a Marriage

27 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

I got an email from a guy that perfectly captures a pattern I see over and over again.An anxious man.An avoidant wife.Years of emotional distance.One ...

The Real Reason Nothing You Try Ever Sticks

20 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Most men don’t feel like their life is falling apart.It just feels… off.Not bad enough to force change.Not good enough to feel proud of.So they tr...

How Men Drift Into Sexless Marriages

20 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

I want to read you a short email from a married man in a dead bedroom.There’s no cheating.No screaming fights.No dramatic collapse.Just a quiet deci...

Why Doing Everything Right Fails

13 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

A lot of men reach a point where they say something quietly and honestly:“I did everything right… and it still fell apart.”I hear this all the t...

Why Your Marriage Became Sexless

06 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Most men in sexless marriages did exactly what they were told to do.They opened up more.They communicated better.They became more emotionally availabl...

Why Men Believe Women Cheat More

30 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

A lot of men end up believing things like “women cheat more,” “women want sex more than men,” or “most women cheat”.Those beliefs don’t ...

My Live Chat with Melissa Vogel

27 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I sit down with Melissa Vogel — fitness and mindset coach, podcast host, and a woman who’s been through divorce herself — for o...

Typical "Nice Guy" Behavior

23 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

A lot of men don’t realize they’re codependent.They just think they’re being “good husbands,” “nice guys,” or “doing the right thing.”...

Your Avoidant Wife Had an Affair (Here’s Why)

16 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

For an anxious guy, nothing is more confusing than discovering that your avoidant, seemingly asexual wife was having an affair.No touching. No sex. ...

She Says She’s “Touched Out”… Except With Him

09 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In today’s episode, I read an email from a husband living one of the most brutal modern realities: his wife says she’s “touched out” and has n...

The Care & Feeding of Your Anxious Husband

02 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Today we’re talking about something that a lot of men won’t admit, but a lot of women quietly suffer through: living with an anxious husband. And ...

Rejection Sensitivity: Why You Overthink Everything

26 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Rejection hits some men harder than others. For a lot of guys, it’s not just discomfort—it feels like danger. One cold look from your wife. One de...

It’s Not Fair — I Did Everything Right!

19 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A lot of men struggle with the realization that they don’t actually have full control over how life or their marriage turns out. You can do everyth...

REBUILD is now available in audiobook format! (here's a free sample)

16 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

"REBUILD: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man" is now available in audiobook format! Here is a quick sample for you to enjoy. Want to hear mo...

Why Women Had More Sex Under Socialism

12 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I recently read a New York Times article claiming that women under socialism had more sex and better orgasms than women in capitalist Western countrie...

Stop Forcing Closeness – How Anxious Men Kill Intimacy

05 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you lean anxious in relationships, this one’s for you.I see it all the time—guys who crave closeness so much that they choke the relationship. ...

Andrew Wilson’s Meltdown Caught Live

28 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today we’re digging into something wild: how a guy who talks about masculinity, strength, and “doing it right” completely lost his cool when his...

Why You Feel So Needy (And How to Stop)

21 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Let’s talk about neediness — what it really is, where it comes from, and how to stop letting it ruin your relationships.Neediness isn’t about “...

Man Discovers Wife’s Affair Years Later — What Now?

14 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Infidelity doesn’t just destroy trust in the present — it rewrites your past and makes you question everything you thought was real.In this video,...

The One Thing Everyone Misses About Dead Bedrooms

07 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Most guys in sexless marriages miss the most important piece of the puzzle. They think if they just get their wife to “want it” again, everything ...

When Your Wife Changes After the Baby: Why So Many Men Fall Apart

31 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I dive into one of the hardest truths many men face after becoming fathers: the woman you married may not be the same woman after the...

REBUILD – The Beginning of a New Chapter

24 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this special episode, I read the introduction to my latest book, REBUILD: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man. This book is the culminatio...

The White Knight Who Couldn’t Stop Saving Women

20 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Some men can’t stop trying to “save” broken women. They think it’s love. They think it’s noble. But it’s an addiction — a way of escapin...

Stop Blaming the Affair Partner — She Made the Choice

17 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A lot of men direct all their anger toward the other guy — the affair partner — when they find out their wife cheated. I get it. It feels easier t...

John’s Breaking Point: Why Some Men Stay in Miserable Marriages

13 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In today’s Dear DSO episode, I read a letter from a guy I’ll call John. He’s reached the end of his rope. His wife drinks heavily, refuses thera...

When Chaos at Home Turns You Into Someone You Don’t Recognize

10 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I share a powerful story from a listener who has lived through 17 years of marital chaos. On paper, he’s a hardworking, successful ...

When She Denies the Affair and Calls You “Insecure”

06 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I respond to a listener email from a man who caught his wife sneaking around with ‘just a friend.’ Even when confronted, she flip...

When a Wife Walks Away After 30 Years: Midlife Crisis, Perimenopause, or Something Else?

03 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I respond to a listener email from a man whose wife left him after 33 years of marriage. She had an affair, moved 2,000 miles away, a...

“30 Years Married… But Now Just Roommates”

29 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A man wrote in after 30+ years of marriage. Three kids, a successful career, a busy and interesting life—he’s fit, adventurous, and still chasing ...

“I Have It All… But My Wife Doesn’t Want Me”

26 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I got a “Dear DSO” email from a guy who, on paper, checks every single box: tall, fit, wealthy, educated, successful, funny, a family man… and y...

Are You ADHD? Why Your Brain Is a Dumpster Fire (And Your Wife’s Had It)

22 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Most of the guys who find their way to my videos have two things in common: their relationship is falling apart… and their brain feels like a blende...

"She Slept With Me… So I Guess We’re Fine Now?"

19 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A guy books an emergency coaching call. Says his marriage is hanging by a thread. He's sleeping in the guest room. She won’t talk to him. Full panic...

Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Her (Even Though It’s Over)

15 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

You ever catch yourself stuck in a mental loop? Replaying the breakup, the betrayal, the one thing she said that cut deep?That’s rumination — and ...

"My Husband Cheated with 100 Sex Workers… While I Begged for Intimacy"

12 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This letter hit hard.A woman writes in to share her story: 20 years of marriage. Zero sex. She thought he had a medical issue. Turns out, he was sleep...

Retroactive Jealousy: Why Her Past Haunts You (And How to Stop Obsessing)

08 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Men ask me all the time: “Why can’t I stop thinking about her past?” You know she had a life before you… but that doesn’t stop your brain fr...

Why Therapists Focus on You (Not Your Avoidant Wife)

05 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Why does it feel like the therapist is always on your case, even when your wife is the one shutting down emotionally?In this video, I explain why anxi...

Why So Many Men Are Lonely (And Won’t Admit It)

01 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A lot of men joke about single women dying alone with 12 cats... but here’s the truth: that’s projection.Men are facing a loneliness crisis. We is...

Why So Many Men Are Secretly Controlled by Shame (Especially Around Sex)

29 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Most men carry shame. But they don’t talk about it—especially when it comes to sex.They were raised to be "good boys," "nice guys," and "respectfu...

Dating After Divorce: What No One Tells You About the New Rules

25 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Dating after divorce is a minefield—and if you haven't been single since your twenties, you're stepping into a completely different world.In this vi...

The Truth About the Honeymoon Stage (and Why It Always Fades)

22 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Every man has felt it—that wild rush of lust, energy, and connection in the beginning of a relationship. You can’t stop thinking about her. You’...

“My Military Wife Checked Out of the Marriage After SSRIs & Kids”

18 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this Dear DSO, a military husband opens up about his wife emotionally and physically checking out of their marriage. After three kids, mood swings,...

“He Forgot Our Anniversary… Again. Should I Finally Leave?”

15 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A 65-year-old woman wrote in with a gut-wrenching story. After 42 years of being married to a man who never listens, never remembers their anniversary...

Anxious & Passive: Why You're Stuck in a Sexless Marriage

11 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this Dear DSO submission, a man reaches out from the middle of an eight-year sexless marriage. He’s passive, anxious, and paralyzed by confusion—...

“My Wife Calmly Told Me She’s Not Attracted to Me Anymore” – What That REALLY Means

04 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Seventeen years of marriage. Three kids. Nice house. Dead bedroom for almost a decade. Then, during an argument, she looks him in the eye and says th...

Why Women Really Cheat (Dual Mating Strategy Explained)

01 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Why do so many women in long-term relationships cheat—and often with men who seem like total losers?In this video, I break down the science behind t...

"When Is It Time to Walk Away from Your Marriage?"

28 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

So many men ask me the same question: "How do I know when I've done enough?" They’ve put in the work. They’ve read the books. They’ve hit the gy...

"My Wife Said I Was Her 'Safe Choice' – Now What?"

25 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A husband finds out—after 12 years of marriage and two kids—that he was never his wife's first choice. After a night of drinks and a fight, she ad...

When She Tells You Who She Is... Listen

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this Dear DSO episode, I respond to a man who saw the signs early on—but kept going. She told him who she was from the beginning. The problem? He...

ADHD, Shame, and Approaching Women: Real Talk for Neurodivergent Men

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s Dear DSO submission is from a neurodivergent man—he’s got ADHD, a lot of anxiety, and not much dating experience. He feels like he’s d...

Why Your Wife Changed Overnight: The Hidden Truth About Menopause and Marriage

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Most men don’t see it coming—until their marriage is on life support.One day she’s your best friend and lover… the next, she’s distant, irri...

"I Married a Woman Who Refused Sex for Two Years… What Was I Thinking?"

11 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This one’s brutal. A 36-year-old man marries a 49-year-old woman who insisted they wait until marriage for sex. Two years in, he’s still never tou...

"She Kept a Log to Avoid Sex With Me — What Did I Do Wrong?"

07 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Mr. K wrote in with a story that’s, sadly, all too familiar. He blames himself for a relationship that was dysfunctional from day one. She showed no...

“Why Autistic Men Attract Toxic Women”

04 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever looked back at a relationship and thought, “What the hell was that?”You were loyal. Honest. Steady. She was chaos.This happens all ...

"SSRIs Killed Her Sex Drive – What Do I Do?"

30 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this Dear DSO submission, Richie asks a brutally honest question: What do you do when your wife is on SSRIs, has no sex drive, and has basically sh...

The Final Talk: Should You End a Sexless Marriage?

27 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode of Dear DSO, a man named Mark writes in about the pain of being stuck in a long-term, sexless marriage. He’s done the work—therapy...

Is She Avoidant... or Just Not That Into You?

23 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I hear from a lot of men who fall hard for a woman… and then she starts pulling away. Hot one minute, cold the next. Is it an avoidant attachment st...

"Worried About My Adult Kids Stuck With a Toxic Mom"

20 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this Dear DSO episode, we tackle Holden’s powerful story: ✅ A 22-year marriage, wrecked by infidelity ✅ A toxic ex dragging their adult kid...

Why She Hasn’t Touched You in 8 Years (And Why Chores Won’t Fix It)

16 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode of Dear DSO, I tackle Dave’s story — he’s been married 13 years, but for the last eight, the bedroom has been dead. Less than 10...

“Am I a Sex Maniac… or Just a Normal Guy?”

13 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Is it wrong to want more sex in your marriage? What if your wife thinks you're a pervert for having a normal male sex drive?In this episode of Dear DS...

Will a Vasectomy Kill Her Desire for You?

09 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this Dear DSO episode, we’re diving into a common and surprisingly emotional question: "If I get a vasectomy, will my wife still want me?"This o...

Post-Divorce Midlife Crisis: Should You Hit the Road or Stay Safe?

06 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this “Dear DSO” episode, I respond to a story from John—a newly separated man wondering if it’s time to ditch the 9-to-5 life, buy a van, a...

"I Caught Her Messaging Another Man… So I Ended It. Was I Wrong?"

02 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this Dear DSO submission, a follower named John reached out to share his story. He was in a long-distance relationship, had clear boundaries about ...

“30 Years in a Dead Bedroom… Then She Finally Told Me Why” - Live Chat With Michael

30 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Michael reached out to me with a story I hear way too often. Thirty years of a sexless marriage, confusion, shame, guilt — and then, one day, his wi...

“We Divorced, Remarried… Now She Wants to Date Again?”

26 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In today’s Dear DSO, I respond to a heartbreaking story from a 39-year-old Army Special Ops veteran who's been through the wringer—divorce, remarr...

“Depressed About Marriage… Is It Even Worth It Anymore?”

23 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode of Dear DSO, I respond to a letter from Jerome—a man who’s feeling disillusioned and depressed about relationships and marriage. A...

How Nice Guys Sabotage Their Relationships | Dr. Robert Glover (No More Mr. Nice Guy)

19 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this live conversation, I sit down with Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, to talk about the psychology of the modern man—especia...

Comfort Kills Desire? The Erotic Cost of Feeling Safe in Marriage

16 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We all crave emotional safety and stability in our long-term relationships…But what if that very safety is what slowly smothers erotic desire?In thi...

“We’re Just Dating… And Already in a Dead Bedroom?”

12 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Brendan’s been dating his girlfriend for three years — and the sex is already slowing to a crawl. He’s worried this is setting the tone for a fu...

"How Do I Convince My Older Wife to Want Sex Again?"

09 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ramius has been married for 47 years. In his 70s, he’s gotten healthy, got his testosterone up, and wants to stay sexually and emotionally connected...

“Sexless Since Baby #1… And She Threatens Suicide If I Leave”

05 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Keith has been married six years. No sex since baby #1. Volatile arguments. Threats of suicide. Police visits. And yet — he's afraid to leave. This ...

“She Had an Affair, Still Won’t Touch Me… But Gets Jealous?”

02 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ross is in a marriage where intimacy is dead, but the jealousy is alive and well. Despite his massive physical transformation and emotional growth, hi...

"My Wife Turned Into a MomBot — What Happened to Us?"

28 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this Dear DSO submission, a husband shares his frustration: after two kids, his wife seems to have completely disappeared into motherhood. Once bub...

“We Divorced, Remarried… Now She Wants to Date Again?”

25 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ned is a Special Ops vet whose marriage has seen it all — deployment, infidelity, gaslighting, emotional chaos… and now his wife wants to “separ...

"I Lost My Wife… and My Entire Identity"

21 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this powerful Dear DSO entry, I read a message from a man whose wife left him after 20 years of marriage. He gave everything to his family—his ti...

"My Wife Is Polyamorous Now – And Wants Her Boyfriend in Our Bed"

18 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A husband writes in with a heartbreaking and outrageous story: after 16 years of marriage and raising six boys together, his wife gave him an ultimatu...

"My Wife Cheated with Our Neighbor and Lifelong Friend – What Now?"

14 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What happens when your wife cheats... not just with anyone, but with your married next-door neighbor you've known since childhood?Jake wrote in to sha...

She Used a Vibrator… and He Called It Cheating - A Live Chat With a Female Follower

11 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Victoria reached out to share her story — a candid, emotional, and often shocking look into a toxic relationship filled with insecurity, gaslighting...

Do Men Still Need Marriage? - My Live Chat With Dr. Orion Taraban

04 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this candid livestream, Ralph is joined by psychologist and creator of  @psychacks , Dr. Orion Taraban, for a powerful and thought-provoking conve...

Why Some Wives Hate When Men Take TRT and Viagra (from a DSO Live Event)

31 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What happens when a man starts taking control of his health—drops weight, hits the gym, starts TRT and Viagra—and his wife doesn’t like it?In th...

"Your Book Doesn’t Work" – A Reader Calls Me Out

28 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A reader sent me an email with some harsh feedback—he says my book is BS because by the time a man picks it up, his marriage is already doomed. He’...

"I’m Addicted to Porn" – A Husband’s Confession & My Response

24 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A man reached out with a tough confession: after years of a sexless marriage, he turned to porn—and now he feels trapped. He says he's addicted, his...

"No... That Doesn't Count!" - A Woman Writes in About Her Husband's OCD Cleaning. Oh boy...

21 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jennifer writes into to share the story of her OCD husband's super cleaning habits, and how she doesn't feel like it "counts" as helping out like "nor...

After 4 Years of Fatherhood, He Discovered the Unthinkable (from a DSO Live Stream)

17 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This is a clip from one of my recent DSO Live Streams on Facebook and Youtube. What happens when a man gives everything to his marriage—only to disc...

"She Warned Me... And I Didn't Listen. Now I'm Paying The Price."

14 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A follower shares his story that is, unfortunately, all too common. His woman gave him every indication that she wasn't really good long-term relation...

Is The "Shallow" Stuff Important in a Long-Term Relationship? Yes... VERY.

10 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This is a follow-up to a post I recently made about relationships floundering due to "silly" things like looks and money. Yes, those things matter! Th...

“Caught in a Chaotic Relationship Cycle, Help!”

07 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A follower reaches out to tell the story of his very chaotic and dysfunctional relationship. Like most, he had many opportunities to make a course cor...

“In Sickness and in Health” -- When Being the Caregiver to a Sick Wife Is the Final Straw

03 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A man reached out with a gut-wrenching confession: His wife is sick, and he’s doing everything to take care of her… but their marriage was broken ...

"My Wife Told Me I Was Too Small! What Do I Do With That Information?!"

28 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A follower reaches out with a story that no man wants to hear: His wife told him that he wasn't big enough. To add insult to injury, she compared him ...

Married to Chaos: 20+ Years With a Borderline Wife (A Brutal True Story)

24 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ant, a follower, reaches out with his story of complete chaos. This is the perfect example of a naive man who marries a probably borderline wife, and ...

"I Shouldn't Have to Do That... I'm Married!" -- The Thought Pattern That Will Get You Into Trouble

19 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this video, I am responding to commenters who tell them that they shouldn't HAVE to put in effort to maintain a relationship and attraction. You ju...

“Why Is She Acting This Way?!” : The All-Too-Common Behavior of the Soon-To-Be Ex-wife.

13 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Our pal "Wordsmith" is back with a new "Dear DSO" submission (https://deardso.com). He's perplexed by his soon-to-be ex-wife's erratic behavior. Why i...

Dear DSO: "My Wife Shut Down After Menopause!"

07 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A "Dear DSO" follower reaches out to share his frustration. He's at a loss. His married sex life has stopped completely for the past two years. The re...

Dating Advice for the Divorced Guy - Let's Talk About Red Flags

31 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A follower from a live stream asks about advice when it comes to dating. He has just started dating two years after his divorce. He's seeing green fla...

Chore Play... Does It Work?

27 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This is a clip from one of our private live zoom meetings we host for members of our HFM Brotherhood. We have anywhere from 6-8 live meetings every we...

Don't Lie to Get Women (from a DSO Live Stream)

24 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

From a DSO Live Stream, Ralph reacts to a follower saying that he has to lie to women about his kid situation in order to get dates. Guys, we have to ...