Dad Starting Over
Episodes
It’s Not Fair — I Did Everything Right!
19 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A lot of men struggle with the realization that they don’t actually have full control over how life or their marriage turns out. You can do everyth...
REBUILD is now available in audiobook format! (here's a free sample)
16 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
"REBUILD: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man" is now available in audiobook format! Here is a quick sample for you to enjoy. Want to hear mo...
Why Women Had More Sex Under Socialism
12 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
I recently read a New York Times article claiming that women under socialism had more sex and better orgasms than women in capitalist Western countrie...
Stop Forcing Closeness – How Anxious Men Kill Intimacy
05 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
If you lean anxious in relationships, this one’s for you.I see it all the time—guys who crave closeness so much that they choke the relationship. ...
Andrew Wilson’s Meltdown Caught Live
28 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today we’re digging into something wild: how a guy who talks about masculinity, strength, and “doing it right” completely lost his cool when his...
Why You Feel So Needy (And How to Stop)
21 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Let’s talk about neediness — what it really is, where it comes from, and how to stop letting it ruin your relationships.Neediness isn’t about “...
Man Discovers Wife’s Affair Years Later — What Now?
14 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Infidelity doesn’t just destroy trust in the present — it rewrites your past and makes you question everything you thought was real.In this video,...
The One Thing Everyone Misses About Dead Bedrooms
07 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Most guys in sexless marriages miss the most important piece of the puzzle. They think if they just get their wife to “want it” again, everything ...
When Your Wife Changes After the Baby: Why So Many Men Fall Apart
31 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I dive into one of the hardest truths many men face after becoming fathers: the woman you married may not be the same woman after the...
REBUILD – The Beginning of a New Chapter
24 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this special episode, I read the introduction to my latest book, REBUILD: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man. This book is the culminatio...
The White Knight Who Couldn’t Stop Saving Women
20 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Some men can’t stop trying to “save” broken women. They think it’s love. They think it’s noble. But it’s an addiction — a way of escapin...
Stop Blaming the Affair Partner — She Made the Choice
17 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A lot of men direct all their anger toward the other guy — the affair partner — when they find out their wife cheated. I get it. It feels easier t...
John’s Breaking Point: Why Some Men Stay in Miserable Marriages
13 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In today’s Dear DSO episode, I read a letter from a guy I’ll call John. He’s reached the end of his rope. His wife drinks heavily, refuses thera...
When Chaos at Home Turns You Into Someone You Don’t Recognize
10 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I share a powerful story from a listener who has lived through 17 years of marital chaos. On paper, he’s a hardworking, successful ...
When She Denies the Affair and Calls You “Insecure”
06 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I respond to a listener email from a man who caught his wife sneaking around with ‘just a friend.’ Even when confronted, she flip...
When a Wife Walks Away After 30 Years: Midlife Crisis, Perimenopause, or Something Else?
03 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I respond to a listener email from a man whose wife left him after 33 years of marriage. She had an affair, moved 2,000 miles away, a...
“30 Years Married… But Now Just Roommates”
29 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A man wrote in after 30+ years of marriage. Three kids, a successful career, a busy and interesting life—he’s fit, adventurous, and still chasing ...
“I Have It All… But My Wife Doesn’t Want Me”
26 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
I got a “Dear DSO” email from a guy who, on paper, checks every single box: tall, fit, wealthy, educated, successful, funny, a family man… and y...
Are You ADHD? Why Your Brain Is a Dumpster Fire (And Your Wife’s Had It)
22 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Most of the guys who find their way to my videos have two things in common: their relationship is falling apart… and their brain feels like a blende...
"She Slept With Me… So I Guess We’re Fine Now?"
19 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A guy books an emergency coaching call. Says his marriage is hanging by a thread. He's sleeping in the guest room. She won’t talk to him. Full panic...
Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Her (Even Though It’s Over)
15 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
You ever catch yourself stuck in a mental loop? Replaying the breakup, the betrayal, the one thing she said that cut deep?That’s rumination — and ...
"My Husband Cheated with 100 Sex Workers… While I Begged for Intimacy"
12 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This letter hit hard.A woman writes in to share her story: 20 years of marriage. Zero sex. She thought he had a medical issue. Turns out, he was sleep...
Retroactive Jealousy: Why Her Past Haunts You (And How to Stop Obsessing)
08 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Men ask me all the time: “Why can’t I stop thinking about her past?” You know she had a life before you… but that doesn’t stop your brain fr...
Why Therapists Focus on You (Not Your Avoidant Wife)
05 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Why does it feel like the therapist is always on your case, even when your wife is the one shutting down emotionally?In this video, I explain why anxi...
Why So Many Men Are Lonely (And Won’t Admit It)
01 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A lot of men joke about single women dying alone with 12 cats... but here’s the truth: that’s projection.Men are facing a loneliness crisis. We is...
Why So Many Men Are Secretly Controlled by Shame (Especially Around Sex)
29 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Most men carry shame. But they don’t talk about it—especially when it comes to sex.They were raised to be "good boys," "nice guys," and "respectfu...
Dating After Divorce: What No One Tells You About the New Rules
25 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Dating after divorce is a minefield—and if you haven't been single since your twenties, you're stepping into a completely different world.In this vi...
The Truth About the Honeymoon Stage (and Why It Always Fades)
22 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Every man has felt it—that wild rush of lust, energy, and connection in the beginning of a relationship. You can’t stop thinking about her. You’...
“My Military Wife Checked Out of the Marriage After SSRIs & Kids”
18 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this Dear DSO, a military husband opens up about his wife emotionally and physically checking out of their marriage. After three kids, mood swings,...
“He Forgot Our Anniversary… Again. Should I Finally Leave?”
15 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A 65-year-old woman wrote in with a gut-wrenching story. After 42 years of being married to a man who never listens, never remembers their anniversary...
Anxious & Passive: Why You're Stuck in a Sexless Marriage
11 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this Dear DSO submission, a man reaches out from the middle of an eight-year sexless marriage. He’s passive, anxious, and paralyzed by confusion—...
“My Wife Calmly Told Me She’s Not Attracted to Me Anymore” – What That REALLY Means
04 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Seventeen years of marriage. Three kids. Nice house. Dead bedroom for almost a decade. Then, during an argument, she looks him in the eye and says th...
Why Women Really Cheat (Dual Mating Strategy Explained)
01 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Why do so many women in long-term relationships cheat—and often with men who seem like total losers?In this video, I break down the science behind t...
"When Is It Time to Walk Away from Your Marriage?"
28 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
So many men ask me the same question: "How do I know when I've done enough?" They’ve put in the work. They’ve read the books. They’ve hit the gy...
"My Wife Said I Was Her 'Safe Choice' – Now What?"
25 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A husband finds out—after 12 years of marriage and two kids—that he was never his wife's first choice. After a night of drinks and a fight, she ad...
When She Tells You Who She Is... Listen
21 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this Dear DSO episode, I respond to a man who saw the signs early on—but kept going. She told him who she was from the beginning. The problem? He...
ADHD, Shame, and Approaching Women: Real Talk for Neurodivergent Men
18 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today’s Dear DSO submission is from a neurodivergent man—he’s got ADHD, a lot of anxiety, and not much dating experience. He feels like he’s d...
Why Your Wife Changed Overnight: The Hidden Truth About Menopause and Marriage
14 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Most men don’t see it coming—until their marriage is on life support.One day she’s your best friend and lover… the next, she’s distant, irri...
"I Married a Woman Who Refused Sex for Two Years… What Was I Thinking?"
11 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This one’s brutal. A 36-year-old man marries a 49-year-old woman who insisted they wait until marriage for sex. Two years in, he’s still never tou...
"She Kept a Log to Avoid Sex With Me — What Did I Do Wrong?"
07 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Mr. K wrote in with a story that’s, sadly, all too familiar. He blames himself for a relationship that was dysfunctional from day one. She showed no...
“Why Autistic Men Attract Toxic Women”
04 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever looked back at a relationship and thought, “What the hell was that?”You were loyal. Honest. Steady. She was chaos.This happens all ...
"SSRIs Killed Her Sex Drive – What Do I Do?"
30 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this Dear DSO submission, Richie asks a brutally honest question: What do you do when your wife is on SSRIs, has no sex drive, and has basically sh...
The Final Talk: Should You End a Sexless Marriage?
27 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode of Dear DSO, a man named Mark writes in about the pain of being stuck in a long-term, sexless marriage. He’s done the work—therapy...
Is She Avoidant... or Just Not That Into You?
23 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
I hear from a lot of men who fall hard for a woman… and then she starts pulling away. Hot one minute, cold the next. Is it an avoidant attachment st...
"Worried About My Adult Kids Stuck With a Toxic Mom"
20 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this Dear DSO episode, we tackle Holden’s powerful story: ✅ A 22-year marriage, wrecked by infidelity ✅ A toxic ex dragging their adult kid...
Why She Hasn’t Touched You in 8 Years (And Why Chores Won’t Fix It)
16 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode of Dear DSO, I tackle Dave’s story — he’s been married 13 years, but for the last eight, the bedroom has been dead. Less than 10...
“Am I a Sex Maniac… or Just a Normal Guy?”
13 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Is it wrong to want more sex in your marriage? What if your wife thinks you're a pervert for having a normal male sex drive?In this episode of Dear DS...
Will a Vasectomy Kill Her Desire for You?
09 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this Dear DSO episode, we’re diving into a common and surprisingly emotional question: "If I get a vasectomy, will my wife still want me?"This o...
Post-Divorce Midlife Crisis: Should You Hit the Road or Stay Safe?
06 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this “Dear DSO” episode, I respond to a story from John—a newly separated man wondering if it’s time to ditch the 9-to-5 life, buy a van, a...
"I Caught Her Messaging Another Man… So I Ended It. Was I Wrong?"
02 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this Dear DSO submission, a follower named John reached out to share his story. He was in a long-distance relationship, had clear boundaries about ...
“30 Years in a Dead Bedroom… Then She Finally Told Me Why” - Live Chat With Michael
30 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Michael reached out to me with a story I hear way too often. Thirty years of a sexless marriage, confusion, shame, guilt — and then, one day, his wi...
“We Divorced, Remarried… Now She Wants to Date Again?”
26 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In today’s Dear DSO, I respond to a heartbreaking story from a 39-year-old Army Special Ops veteran who's been through the wringer—divorce, remarr...
“Depressed About Marriage… Is It Even Worth It Anymore?”
23 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode of Dear DSO, I respond to a letter from Jerome—a man who’s feeling disillusioned and depressed about relationships and marriage. A...
How Nice Guys Sabotage Their Relationships | Dr. Robert Glover (No More Mr. Nice Guy)
19 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this live conversation, I sit down with Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, to talk about the psychology of the modern man—especia...
Comfort Kills Desire? The Erotic Cost of Feeling Safe in Marriage
16 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We all crave emotional safety and stability in our long-term relationships…But what if that very safety is what slowly smothers erotic desire?In thi...
“We’re Just Dating… And Already in a Dead Bedroom?”
12 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Brendan’s been dating his girlfriend for three years — and the sex is already slowing to a crawl. He’s worried this is setting the tone for a fu...
"How Do I Convince My Older Wife to Want Sex Again?"
09 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ramius has been married for 47 years. In his 70s, he’s gotten healthy, got his testosterone up, and wants to stay sexually and emotionally connected...
“Sexless Since Baby #1… And She Threatens Suicide If I Leave”
05 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Keith has been married six years. No sex since baby #1. Volatile arguments. Threats of suicide. Police visits. And yet — he's afraid to leave. This ...
“She Had an Affair, Still Won’t Touch Me… But Gets Jealous?”
02 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ross is in a marriage where intimacy is dead, but the jealousy is alive and well. Despite his massive physical transformation and emotional growth, hi...
"My Wife Turned Into a MomBot — What Happened to Us?"
28 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this Dear DSO submission, a husband shares his frustration: after two kids, his wife seems to have completely disappeared into motherhood. Once bub...
“We Divorced, Remarried… Now She Wants to Date Again?”
25 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ned is a Special Ops vet whose marriage has seen it all — deployment, infidelity, gaslighting, emotional chaos… and now his wife wants to “separ...
"I Lost My Wife… and My Entire Identity"
21 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this powerful Dear DSO entry, I read a message from a man whose wife left him after 20 years of marriage. He gave everything to his family—his ti...
"My Wife Is Polyamorous Now – And Wants Her Boyfriend in Our Bed"
18 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A husband writes in with a heartbreaking and outrageous story: after 16 years of marriage and raising six boys together, his wife gave him an ultimatu...
"My Wife Cheated with Our Neighbor and Lifelong Friend – What Now?"
14 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What happens when your wife cheats... not just with anyone, but with your married next-door neighbor you've known since childhood?Jake wrote in to sha...
She Used a Vibrator… and He Called It Cheating - A Live Chat With a Female Follower
11 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Victoria reached out to share her story — a candid, emotional, and often shocking look into a toxic relationship filled with insecurity, gaslighting...
Do Men Still Need Marriage? - My Live Chat With Dr. Orion Taraban
04 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this candid livestream, Ralph is joined by psychologist and creator of @psychacks , Dr. Orion Taraban, for a powerful and thought-provoking conve...
Why Some Wives Hate When Men Take TRT and Viagra (from a DSO Live Event)
31 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What happens when a man starts taking control of his health—drops weight, hits the gym, starts TRT and Viagra—and his wife doesn’t like it?In th...
"Your Book Doesn’t Work" – A Reader Calls Me Out
28 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A reader sent me an email with some harsh feedback—he says my book is BS because by the time a man picks it up, his marriage is already doomed. He’...
"I’m Addicted to Porn" – A Husband’s Confession & My Response
24 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A man reached out with a tough confession: after years of a sexless marriage, he turned to porn—and now he feels trapped. He says he's addicted, his...
"No... That Doesn't Count!" - A Woman Writes in About Her Husband's OCD Cleaning. Oh boy...
21 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Jennifer writes into to share the story of her OCD husband's super cleaning habits, and how she doesn't feel like it "counts" as helping out like "nor...
After 4 Years of Fatherhood, He Discovered the Unthinkable (from a DSO Live Stream)
17 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This is a clip from one of my recent DSO Live Streams on Facebook and Youtube. What happens when a man gives everything to his marriage—only to disc...
"She Warned Me... And I Didn't Listen. Now I'm Paying The Price."
14 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A follower shares his story that is, unfortunately, all too common. His woman gave him every indication that she wasn't really good long-term relation...
Is The "Shallow" Stuff Important in a Long-Term Relationship? Yes... VERY.
10 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This is a follow-up to a post I recently made about relationships floundering due to "silly" things like looks and money. Yes, those things matter! Th...
“Caught in a Chaotic Relationship Cycle, Help!”
07 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A follower reaches out to tell the story of his very chaotic and dysfunctional relationship. Like most, he had many opportunities to make a course cor...
“In Sickness and in Health” -- When Being the Caregiver to a Sick Wife Is the Final Straw
03 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A man reached out with a gut-wrenching confession: His wife is sick, and he’s doing everything to take care of her… but their marriage was broken ...
"My Wife Told Me I Was Too Small! What Do I Do With That Information?!"
28 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A follower reaches out with a story that no man wants to hear: His wife told him that he wasn't big enough. To add insult to injury, she compared him ...
Married to Chaos: 20+ Years With a Borderline Wife (A Brutal True Story)
24 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ant, a follower, reaches out with his story of complete chaos. This is the perfect example of a naive man who marries a probably borderline wife, and ...
"I Shouldn't Have to Do That... I'm Married!" -- The Thought Pattern That Will Get You Into Trouble
19 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this video, I am responding to commenters who tell them that they shouldn't HAVE to put in effort to maintain a relationship and attraction. You ju...
“Why Is She Acting This Way?!” : The All-Too-Common Behavior of the Soon-To-Be Ex-wife.
13 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Our pal "Wordsmith" is back with a new "Dear DSO" submission (https://deardso.com). He's perplexed by his soon-to-be ex-wife's erratic behavior. Why i...
Dear DSO: "My Wife Shut Down After Menopause!"
07 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A "Dear DSO" follower reaches out to share his frustration. He's at a loss. His married sex life has stopped completely for the past two years. The re...
Dating Advice for the Divorced Guy - Let's Talk About Red Flags
31 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A follower from a live stream asks about advice when it comes to dating. He has just started dating two years after his divorce. He's seeing green fla...
Chore Play... Does It Work?
27 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This is a clip from one of our private live zoom meetings we host for members of our HFM Brotherhood. We have anywhere from 6-8 live meetings every we...
Don't Lie to Get Women (from a DSO Live Stream)
24 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
From a DSO Live Stream, Ralph reacts to a follower saying that he has to lie to women about his kid situation in order to get dates. Guys, we have to ...
How One Horrible Decision Can Ruin Your Life - A Follower's Story
20 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ralph gets a "Dear DSO" submission for a guy named Joe... and it's a doozy! Listen to Joe's story and how one big, important life decision (taking his...
A Chat With a Long-Time Follower About His Stressful Marriage and Imminent Divorce
10 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
For those who watch a lot of DSO videos and listen to the podcast, you have probably heard me mention the name "Wordsmith" more than a few times. Word...
Top Questions for 2024!
06 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Here are the most-asked questions I received in 2024. Thanks to all of you reached out to me, purchased a book, signed up for coaching, or signed up f...
Dear DSO: "How Can I Win Her Back?"
03 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ralph addresses a common dilemma faced by many men undergoing relationship challenges; the question of whether and how to "get your wife back" after a...
Dear DSO: "I can't wait that long! I need to make a baby now!"
27 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ralph delves into a thought-provoking discussion prompted by a listener named Paula, who challenges his advice that men should wait three years before...
The Two Type of Cheating Men
23 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ralph delves into the intricate topic of infidelity among men, drawing from his extensive experience working with men and data from anonymous surveys....
"I Changed... Now It's Your Turn to Completely Change Your Personality!"
20 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
"I've Had No Luck Dating After Divorce!"
16 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We Need to Stop Shaming Our Fellow Men - Stop Calling Them "Simps" and "Incels"
13 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Our Stressed-Out, High-Anxiety Wives
06 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ralph examines anxiety in relationships, focusing on the interaction between anxious men and their equally anxious partners. Ralph draws on his decade...
Divorced? Want Just ONE Woman For The Rest of Your Life? Probably Not Happening.
02 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ralph explores the often harsh reality faced by newly divorced individuals re-entering the dating world. He challenges the romanticized notion of "the...
Dear DSO: "My Wife Became a Fitness Fanatic and Then Cheated!"
29 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ralph addresses a "Dear DSO" letter from a man named Steve, who shares the breakdown of his 15-year marriage due to his wife’s significant lifestyle...
Jumping From Relationship to Relationship - Do You Not Like to Be Alone? - A Dear DSO Live Chat
25 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This is my very first live call-in chat with a "Dear DSO" submission. You can submit your own question or story to https://deardso.com.In this one, Ch...
Baby Rabies and Single Moms - Be Careful!
22 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, Ralph examines the challenges men often face after divorce, noting that 70% of men are surprised by their partners' decision to leave...
Why Would She Cheat And Go To Such Extremes To Hurt Me?!
18 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ralph examines the emotional turmoil that follows infidelity, focusing on the psychological effects on those who have been wronged. The discussion hig...
Let's Talk About Duty Sex (From a Live HFM Brotherhood Member Meeting)
15 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Everyone seems to be talking about DUTY SEX right now. Why is this such a hot-button topic? What exactly is it, anyway? Should women do it? Should men...
Dear DSO: "Why is she so ANGRY at me for being upset about being rejected for the hundredth time?"
11 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This episode of "Dear DSO" addresses a common couple's issue: reduced sexual intimacy. Ralph shares a letter from Jack, a 40-year-old struggling with ...