Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women
Episodes
393: What's it REALLY like living in community, and how does it impact your relationships?
26 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
“I become a bit of a depresso-goblin when I live alone.”So shares one of my housemates -- an eloquent interpretation, perhaps, of the loneliness e...
392: Why is it so hard to quit porn!? (ft. Jason Lange)
19 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
How do you know if you're addicted to porn?Instead of addiction language, some mental health specialists use the term Problematic Porn Use to disc...
391: 'What Relationships Would You Want, if You Believed They Were Possible?' [The Ezra Klein Show]
12 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
ATTRIBUTION NOTE: This is NOT an original episode. This is a complete episode of The Ezra Klein Show that I'm posting here, with a note from me at...
390: What is foreskin restoration? (ft. Bob Werner)
05 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Why do you need to know about this?---Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and...
389: 8 reasons why it's so hard for men to let go of relationships that aren't working (ft. Jason Lange)
28 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever felt stuck in a love relationship that wasn't working? Maybe you were straining and striving to make it work. Maybe you felt like it...
388: GirlTalk: The reddest, hottest sex we've ever had (as women) [replay]
21 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
How many hundreds of miles would you travel for great sex?Some of the hottest sexual experiences are some of the least-expected. Sometimes that has to...
387: GirlTalk: What inspires a woman to deeply trust a man? [replay]
14 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Most men we work with long to be trusted. They yearn to satisfy their partners on every level: physically, emotionally, and sexually. Above all, they ...
386: GuyTalk: How do you co-parent with a challenging partner? (including Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
07 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When you've got kids with someone, you need to be able to cooperate. But what do you do if your ex is emotionally unstable/volatile, physically or...
385: Are you in a sexless marriage? (ft. Jason Lange)
31 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Some experts estimate that ~15% of marriages are sexless, while others put the number as high as 33% ("sexless relationship" defined as a coup...
384: What's the impact of circumcision on a man? (ft. Michael Smith, Intactivist Educator)
24 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In North America, we tend to think of circumcision as "normal" and "widespread." But did you know that circumcision as a practice only...
383: How does your inner critic impact your c*ck? (PART II) (ft. Dr. Luke Adler)
17 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Overcoming erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, and other forms of sexual dysfunction in men is complex.This is part II o...
382: Erectile dysfunction isn't about what you think. (PART I) (ft. Dr. Luke Adler)
10 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Did you know that premature ejaculation is the most common form of sexual dysfunction on the planet? In a similar vein, experts estimate that erectile...
381: My 5 biggest takeaways from my 10 c0ck interviews
03 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to Cocktober! We're spending this whole month on a plethora of penis things.As a sex researcher, I can tell you that when it comes to men&...
380: What exactly IS polarity? (ft. Violet Lange) [replay]
26 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
"Polarity" is a term we throw around a lot on this podcast, and a concept that has gained popularity in discussions on masculinity, femininity...
379: Can ketamine really treat depression (and PTSD and ADHD)? (ft. Sam Mandel)
19 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
According to Gallup News, nearly 48 million people in the US alone struggle with depression, which is a staggering ~18% of the population. In fact, de...
378: 'It’s never been natural for me to reach out when I’m in the sh*t’ (ft. Jason Lange & Luke Adler)
12 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When things are bad, are you good at asking for support?More than once, we've had clients disappear for a bit, and upon reappearing say things lik...
377: How do you overcome the fear of being alone? (ft. Jason Lange & Luke Adler)
05 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
"I'm afraid that if I don't do what she wants, she'll leave ... and then I'll be alone."The truth is, almost all human beings ...
376: UTIs are a gargantuan sex problem. Here’s a concrete way you can help! (ft. Meghan Blake of Good Kitty)
29 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Worldwide, 150 million women get urinary tract infections (UTIs) yearly, and 30-44% of them get recurrent UTIs (defined as 2+ infections in 6 months, ...
375: What does it mean to 'be in your masculine'? (ft. Jason Lange)
22 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
“I knew it was something I wanted to be in because I thought it’d get me chicks.”So begins Jason in describing his journey around learning to be...
374: The 3 main archetypes of men. Which one are you? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
15 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
How connected do you feel to your heart? How about to your cock?One of the advantages we have as coaches for men is that we seen the patterns that fre...
373: What's it like treating Borderline Personality Disorder (pt. 2) (ft. Setareh Vatan)
08 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A whole bunch of our clients have related with either parents or partners with BPD (or BPD traits). Here we go into even more depth around the origins...
372: Are you scared of women? (ft. Jason Lange)
01 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
If you've ever been scared of approaching a woman because you might make her uncomfortable; frightened about what a woman might ask of you; or wor...
371: GuyTalk: What's it like doing in-person men's work?
25 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
“Every one of us walking onto that property was nervous.”So says one man on this episode, describing his experiencing attending his first in-perso...
370: Are you codependent? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
18 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship, or like you knew something was off but didn't know what to do about it? Maybe you've had a vague...
369: GuyTalk: Setting healthy boundaries with parents
11 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Did you have healthy boundaries modeled for you when you were growing up? Do you feel like you know how to set healthy boundaries with your folks?If n...
368: Can a live retreat change everything? (ft. Jason Lange)
04 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When Jason was in his mid-20s, he was stuck. He numbed out with porn much of the time, had never had sex, and struggled with dating and love relations...
367: 'For some reason, I tend to attract "projects."' (ft. Jason Lange)
27 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you got a history of partnering with women who are physically or emotionally unstable? Maybe they've got an insecure living situation (or cha...
366: Love can, in fact, be calculated. (ft. Zoey Charif)
20 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever wished you could scientifically determine what’s wrong in your relationship? Or felt it would be helpful to somehow mathematically se...
365: Is staying together for the kids the right choice? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
13 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What does it mean to be a good parent?If part of your job is to provide stability, then it can seem like even if your love relationship isn't fulf...
364: What exactly is complex PTSD, and how do you know if you have it? (ft. Setareh Vatan)
06 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you experienced any of the following yourself, or been in a love relationship with a partner who did?You've held beliefs like, "I must be...
363: We women still need men. Just in a different way. (ft. Jason Lange)
30 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We all know the "rules" have changed when it comes to dating and relationships. There are few absolute in terms of how to relate to a dating o...
362: From skeptic to believer (ft. Naushad Godrej)
23 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever doubted? Whether you've doubted yourself, the existence of a higher power, the efficacy of "alternative" healing techniques,...
361: Worried about being a late bloomer? (ft. Jason Lange)
16 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Are you concerned about your lack of experience, whether that's sexually, in a dating context, or time in long-term relationships? Maybe you feel ...
360: GirlTalk: Striking while the iron is hot!
09 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Want to be even sexier to women than you are now? ;) Learn to strike while the iron is hot!Seriously though -- striking while the iron is hot makes yo...
359: GuyTalk: Ever felt stuck?
02 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever just felt STUCK? Stuck in your dating life, stuck in your marriage, stuck in your sex life (or stuck in your sex life within your marria...
358: Do you trust men? (ft. Jason Lange)
25 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When I ask my male friends, "Do you trust men?" most of them say, pretty unequivocally, "No."Why does this matter?A lot of our clients...
357: GirlTalk: What does it mean to “claim” her (and why does she love it)?
18 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Want to generate sexual heat, and also inspire safety and a sense of belonging in your partner? Learn how to claim her!We've talked about claiming...
356: What does it really mean to 'be a man' -- and a warrior? (ft. Wayne Forrest)
11 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When Wayne Forrest was 25 years old, he was a strong, rugby-playing farmer who was married with two twin babies.Then he had an accident on the rugby f...
355: ‘I thought being a good husband meant putting others’ needs ahead of mine (ft. Jason Lange)
04 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What does it mean to be a good husband?Many men we work with were trained to take care of everyone else before themselves. They often feel burnt out, ...
354: What’s it like treating Borderline Personality Disorder? (Pt. 1) Ft. Setareh Vatan
28 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
If you've ever been with an emotionally volatile partner or perhaps suspected that you yourself might be emotionally volatile, you hopefully alrea...
353: GirlTalk: An exquisite quality of the masculine that we quite enjoy [replay]
21 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wanted to be a fly on the wall while women talked about their dating stories? Ever wondered what the men who have women feel both safe and turned...
352: Do you ever feel collapsed or hopeless? (Like nothing’s working) (ft. Jason Lange)
14 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Does a part of you ever feel like just giving up? It's too much, it's too heavy, it's too complicated, it's too hard. Or has it ever f...
351: Men love to be nurtured, too (pt. 2) (ft. Scott Kaltenbaugh)
07 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ever feel like you need to be tough in order to be seen as "masculine" enough? Ever feel like you wish you could just let your guard down and ...
350: Weed, Porn, and Masturbation: The Trifecta! (ft. Jason Lange & Luke Adler)
28 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
"Porn was the #1 relationship I had in terms of intimacy."So says Jason on his experience of sex, love, and closeness in his 20s. (Fortunately...
349: Interested in plant medicine but don’t want to do “drugs”? Try this. (ft. Luke Adler)
21 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Most of us, on our growth journeys, become aware that we need to heal from some kind of trauma. We also often discover that we need more than talk the...
348: ‘I wish we had sex more.’ (ft. Violet Lange)
14 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A common pattern in a lot of love relationships sounds like one partner (often a man, in a man/woman dynamic) saying things like:"I wish you weren...
347: Men’s work isn’t enough. You’ve also got to have this. (ft. Luke Adler)
07 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever felt unworthy, less than, or "deeply ugly and stupid," as my guest this week put it?The fact is, we need all the support we can ...
346: When whining is so magical that it generates polarity! (ft. Jason & Violet Lange) [replay]
31 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Is it painful for you when you feel that your woman is closed? Do you long for more ways to help her open up fully? (Not just sexually, but that is in...
345: The 4 male "types" who partner with Borderline women (Borderline Personality Disorder) (ft. Violet Lange)
24 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ever been with a woman partner who was emotionally volatile? Ever felt like you were walking on eggshells, or that no matter what you did it wasn'...
344: 3 dating myths to let go of immediately (ft. Jason Lange)
17 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Are you gettin' out onto the dating scene in 2025? Whether you're newly single, a refugee from the world of pickup, recently divorced, or you&...
343: A quality women yearn for in relationship (but rarely talk about) (ft. Scott Kaltenbaugh)
10 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
There's a certain quality in men that a lot of women long for -- and I mean long for it from the depths of their beings -- but often don't tal...
342: Are you scared of her big feelings? This may help. (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
03 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ever felt intimidated when your woman was upset (about something that involved you)? Ever gotten defensive, stonewalled, or made her wrong -- "tha...
341: GirlTalk: The most important relationship skill of them all
27 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
When it comes to love relationships, whether you're dating or in a committed, long-term relationship, there's one place where you need to be s...
340: Top 3 traits we've seen Nice Guys develop to get what they want! (ft. Jason Lange)
20 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We've worked with a lot of men who fit into the category of Nice Guys (a la Dr. Robert Glover's famous book, No More Mr. Nice Guy). And we'...
339: GirlTalk: Does your woman get anxious? How to soothe her skillfully
13 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Almost every single woman in a relationship (dating or married) needs reassurance sometimes. Unfortunately, many men don't know how to provide it ...
338: What do you do if sex hurts for her? (And how do you talk about it?) (ft. Z Zoccolante) [replay]
06 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
According to my sex research, women's number one sex problem is physical pain.The truth is, it's painful when sex hurts -- for both people. No...
337: GirlTalk: Ever felt like she’s testing you?
29 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ever felt like there was a "right" answer to a question a woman asked you, or a "right" way to respond to a situation with her? Did it...
336: Why does your woman poke you sometimes? What’s that about? (ft. Jason Lange)
22 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ever feel like you're being deliberately provoked by your woman? Or that she sometimes pushes and pushes until she gets a rise out of you -- often...
335: Ever felt like women had a 'list' in dating & relationships? (ft. Violet Lange)
15 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ever gotten the sense that a woman is sizing you up ... deciding whether you match up with a list she has in her head around her ideal partner?You mig...
334: Are you needy? Here’s the difference between neediness and having needs (ft. Jason Lange)
09 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What does it actually mean to be needy? We use the term a lot, and sometimes in less-than-kind ways -- both in terms of describing others as well as o...
333: Are you addicted to porn? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
01 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Do you ever feel ashamed of your porn use, or wish you could stop or cut down? Ever had trouble getting it up and wondered if that's connected to ...
332: Ever gone into freeze? Here’s what’s actually going on. (ft. Stacy Matulis)
25 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you've ever felt anxious around a woman you were attracted to, gone rigid when you tried to flirt, or completely shut down during a fight with ...
331: GirlTalk: Relationship lessons, growth work, and memorable men
18 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wondered what different women say when they get really real about their last relationship? How about why they do growth work — and what it loo...
330: GirlTalk: How to go down on her so she loves it!
12 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you love having sex with women and want to be known as a great lover, being good at going down is an important part of your repertoire. ;)But it’...
329: How do you stay grounded when she's dysregulated (upset, stressed, anxious, angry, etc.)? (ft. Jason Lange)
04 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
When your partner gets anxious or upset, do you feel like it's your fault or that you have to fix it immediately? How able are you to stay grounde...
328: Betrayal trauma. How do you recover? (ft. Rosanne Delaney)
27 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
"For so long I felt like, ‘this is only happening in my marriage.’"If you've ever experienced something dark, difficult, or deeply cha...
327: Transforming shame into power. Yes, it’s possible. (ft. Jason Lange & Luke Adler)
20 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What are you most ashamed of? Is it your sexuality -- how much you want and need sex, or your deep-down cravings that you fear others would judge if t...
326: GuyTalk: How do you overcome a sexual challenge (like premature ejaculation)? [REPLAY]
13 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ever experienced porn addiction (and had that affect your love relationship), contended with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, or been wo...
325: What if *every* woman had a self-pleasure practice? (ft. Violet Lange)
06 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Do you wish your woman was more open to sex? Not just intercourse, but the fun of the whole sex thing -- kissing, making out, foreplay, getting hot an...
324: What does it mean to open a woman? (ft. Jason Lange)
30 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ever been around a woman who was closed down, shut off, or emotionally unavailable? Ever felt like your partner wanted to say something but was holdin...
323: How do 12-step programs connect to healthy relationships? (ft. Mark Wilde)
23 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
"When I was at my worst, I didn’t know there was a way out."Sometimes in life we get stuck. We don't know how to deal with big feelings,...
322: 5 ways to polarize a powerful woman (ft. Jason Lange) [Replay]
16 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Has your woman ever been in her masculine, and you wished she was in her feminine? Here's something that doesn't work: "Hey, could you dro...
321: 'I’m afraid to show interest until I’m willing to commit' (ft. Jason Lange)
09 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever been concerned about getting involved with a woman because you didn't want to hurt her feelings if it didn't work out?Ever felt ...
320: From breakdown to breakthrough: how to recover from trauma (ft. Jason Lange)
02 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you’ve become aware that you experienced developmental trauma (and/or attachment wounding), you may wonder how to heal from it.Where do you go to...
319: 'My relationship is war.' (What do I do?) (Ft. Jason Lange)
26 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ever felt like when it comes to your relationship, you're constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop? Or that when you come home, you don't...
318: GirlTalk: Role play in sex. What's it like!?
19 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wanted to explore role-play in sex? If so, you're not alone! According to research, one in three people in North America alone wants to try s...
317: What exactly IS codependency? (How do you know if you’re codependent?) (ft. Jason Lange)
12 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
"It felt kind of like a trap, but at the same time felt like a soothing warm blanket to feel safe and ruminate within.""The codependent re...
316: Where do you find quality masculine role models? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
05 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Did you have a deeply present, emotionally aware father who took the time to attune to you and teach you how to be a trustworthy, integrated man?If so...
315: What happens once you’ve recovered from Nice Guy Syndrome? (ft. Dr. Robert Glover)
28 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
There's a lot out there about Nice Guy Syndrome. But what happens after? What is the magical land of Boundaries, for example?If you’ve figured o...
314: Can microdosing help you develop better relationships? (ft. David Romero)
21 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ever contended with anxiety, depression, chronic pain, ADHD, or OCD ... and had that affect your sex or love life?Ever suspected that you have generat...
313: GuyTalk: Life after being with a BPD partner (Borderline Personality Disorder)
14 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
"I took responsibility for things that wasn’t mine to take."So begins the brave stories of four men who share their personal experiences of ...
312: GirlTalk: How much money do you make, and how much does that matter?
07 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever felt like you needed to make a lot of money to impress women?Ever had a dynamic shift around money in a relationship, and not known how ...
311: What does it really mean to be emotionally available? (ft. Violet Lange)
31 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ever chased emotionally unavailable women? Ever dropped a connection because you felt overwhelmed, or like something was "off" but you couldn&...
310: How do I initiate sex without coming off as demanding? (ft. me)
24 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Sexy time, pickers, and dating, oh my! Here I answer the following three common client or listener questions:"I’ve heard women say it’s a red ...
309: How do you know when it's time to get a divorce? (ft. Jason Lange)
17 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
When is it time to stay and work on things in your marriage, and when is it time to let things go? Perhaps you can relate to scenarios like these:You&...
308: Are you staying together for the kids? There may be another way to go. (ft. Jason Lange)
10 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If your marriage isn't working, you're suffering. Maybe you're fighting all the time (whether aloud or not). Maybe you're great co-par...
307: What's the difference between feminine storm and feminine rage? (ft. Shana James)
03 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever been scared of your wife / woman partner? Ever been harmed by her? If yes, it's likely you never felt like you could talk to anyone ...
306: Boner shame! Let's talk about it. (ft. Jason Lange)
26 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
"I’m getting a boner — what’s she going to think??"So begins the conflict for a lot of boys and men have around their cock. From a young...
305: GuyTalk: Overcoming religious programming
19 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Did you grow up with a religious background? Then congrats, you likely experienced sexual shame! Perhaps you still do to this day.The truth is, it'...
304: What happens if you or your partner needs space? (ft. Jason Lange)
12 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
"Needing space within a love relationship is crucial for maintaining my identity ... It’s not merely about taking a break; it’s about preservi...
303: 'Boys have as rich an inner life as girls do.' (ft. Nat Damon of Reach Academy for Young Men))
05 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
When you were a boy, did you feel comfortable being your full self?Did you feel at ease around becoming a man -- like you knew what that meant and smo...
302: 'I ask for stories about the sex that changed you.' (ft. Carly, creator of Aurore)
29 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What if you could read about the sex that affected someone so profoundly they were never the same? What if you wrote about the sex that changed you in...
301: What's the difference between therapy and coaching? (ft. Jason Lange)
22 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
"As men, it often feels like we should just know how to succeed in a relationship, how to be great in bed, how to be successful in life, all under...
300: What's it like to do MDMA therapy with your wife? (ft. Lucas)
15 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A lot of our clients crave more intimacy or closeness with their wife/relationship partner. Often this includes a longing, or a sense of something mis...
299: Matchmaking: Is it still relevant? (ft. Anika Rashaun)
08 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Would you ever consider using a matchmaker? In a world of dating apps (and let's be real -- those are rough for a LOT of people!), not to mention ...
298: Becoming skillful at sexual communication -- let's talk about it. (ft. Kristen Carney of Ask Women)
01 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This episode is pulled from the podcast Ask Women, where I myself was the guest! We delve into my sex research here, in which I asked over 1,065 women...
297: The problems with polarity (ft. Jason Lange)
23 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Polarity can help you have a hot sex & dating life, not to mention a stronger love relationship overall. And like many things in life, it's no...
296: What does it actually mean to step into your power? (ft. Jason Lange)
16 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
As a woman, I sometimes feel like saying to all the Nice Guys out there: We need you!We need you on the court, in the game, on the field of Life. We n...
295: Ever 'fallen into' a relationship? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
09 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Here's a pattern we've noticed in a lot of the men we work with:They've never gone after the women they really wanted. As one man put it, ...
294: How do I rebuild trust with a partner? (ft. me!)
02 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's a solo episode! I pulled together some questions from clients or listeners, and go into depth on them.Remember that you can always send me yo...