Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women
Episodes
293: Give it to me whining! (Ft. Jason & Violet Lange)
26 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Does it feel exiting for your woman to be fully open with you, feel deeply cherished, and want to f*** your brains out?Then you’re going to want to ...
292: Sex life with your wife not where you want it to be? This could be the culprit (ft. Violet & Jason Lange) [replay]
19 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you want a thriving sex and relationship life, you'll benefit from knowing about polarity. Polarity, shorthand for the healthy dance between om...
291: Want to get better at dating? Here are 3 ways to practice with women (ft. Violet Lange)
12 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
As a client recently put it, where do you go to "scrimmage" with women? How and where do you practice relating, flirting, and connecting with ...
290: Teaching healthy masculinity in schools! The Inspiring Men Project (ft. Scott Kaltenbaugh)
05 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
When you were growing up, did you have a host of great role models when it came to how to be a good man?No, probably not. The vast majority of men wit...
289: Do Nice Guys tend to attract volatile women? (ft. Jason Lange)
29 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ever been in a relationship where you felt like it started off GREAT, but over time it became really hard? Ever felt like you had electric sex with so...
288: GuyTalk: What dating is like after getting divorced
22 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Divorce is a complex and often sensitive topic. For many, there are questions of success and failure, grief and loss, as well as the question of what ...
287: GirlTalk: The either/or conundrum in sex, dating, and relationships
15 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This episode is kinda edgy! Here we (a small group of women who are attracted to men) give you a peek behind the curtain in terms of what we really cr...
286: How do I “do” dating apps well? (so I don’t get discouraged) (ft. Jason Lange)
08 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Online dating can be hard! As a hetero man on the apps, you're statistically likely to get far fewer matches than a hetero woman. If you're on...
285: Depression, Anxiety, and Nice Guy Syndrome (ft. Tony Endelman & Dr. Glover’s work)
01 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
How do depression & anxiety intersect with sex & dating?If you’re one of the millions of people who’ve experience anxiety, clinical depres...
284: Is cheating (including emotional affairs) correlated with Nice Guy Syndrome? (ft. Jason Lange)
24 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Cheating is both a sensitive and complex topic. It lies at the intersection of sexuality, betrayal, needs, wants, and power.Here we explore something ...
283: How to go from stuck ... to unstuck ... to THRIVING (ft. Brian Johnson of Heroic)
17 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
"What should I do with my life?"It's a question most of us ask ourselves (sometimes on repeat!), and one many of us could use more guidanc...
282: Anal sex! Yep, we’re talkin’ about it. (ft. Sara)
10 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wanted to explore the dark side of the moon? ;) If you've ever been curious about anal sex -- or enjoy it already and want to hear what other...
281: How do I say, 'I need you to have more support outside of just me?' (ft. Jason Lange)
03 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
One pattern we've often seen in our clients (and lived ourselves) is feeling like our partner needs us in order to feel OK. This can start to feel...
280: How do I tell my partner I want something different? (ft. Jason Lange)
27 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ahhh, the conundrum: Your partner does something you don't like but you don't know how to say so, so you just let it ride (and resentment buil...
279: "You don’t have to be with someone who makes you feel like sh*t every day!" (ft. Jeff & Allison from the Love & Sex Podcast)
20 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ever felt stuck in a sexless or passionless relationship? Or craved more in a relationship but didn't know how to get there? Then you're going...
278: Need a breakthrough? Try breathwork. (ft. Luke Adler)
13 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In my work with men, I often find that stuck or stagnant energy is blocking success in a man's life. He's not getting what he wants in sex, co...
277: Want to maximize polarity? Learn to do this well. (ft. Jason Lange)
06 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Here's some potent relationship advice: Learn to be skillful with transitions!If you've ever been in a dating relationship or long-term, commi...
276: I may want an open relationship. How do tell my partner? (ft. Dr. Joli Hamilton)
29 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
"I’m curious about open relationships. How do I talk to my partner about it?"This is one of those thorny sex & relationship topics that ...
275: What's life like as an erotica writer? (ft. Ruan Willow)
22 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
When we think about sexy turn-ons and arousal -- especially when we're engaging in solo play -- many of us think about visual porn. The numbers be...
274: How do you make sure you're not coming off as creepy? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
15 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
How do you know if you're being creepy? For many of our clients, the fear of making a woman uncomfortable -- or being seen as creepy -- can be deb...
273: 3 myths about self-love ... and why it matters *so much* in relationship (ft. Megan Bhatia)
08 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ever found yourself resentful of a relationship partner? Maybe you feel like you're always giving and never getting much in return. Perhaps you...
272: Your woman wants you to tussle with her. Yes, really. (ft. Dr. Robert Glover) [replay]
01 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Let's be real: For many men, it's often hard to figure out women. Moods change quickly, and often you know something is going on but you'r...
271: GirlTalk: What makes a woman truly trust a man? [replay]
25 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
If you want a woman to fully surrender to you, you've got to inspire deep trust in her. This includes sexually -- a woman who deeply trusts her ma...
270: What is shadow work, and how does it make you sexier? (ft. Luke Adler & Jason Lange)
18 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Shadow work is popular in the personal growth community, and for good reason — it can be deeply transformational. Many people report deeper and more...
269: What women truly crave from men (ft. Jason Lange)
11 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In our work with men who have sex with women, we've noticed a few distinct categories. There are three specific archetypes of men we see most comm...
268: A woman’s biggest fear (and how you can help) (ft. Violet Lange)
04 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Want a woman to feel deeply, profoundly, extraordinarily safe with you? Able to surrender fully, relaxing all the way into your arms, allowing her bod...
267: What do you do if your masculine role models sucked? (ft. Jason Lange)
28 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
How did you learn to be a man? From whom did you learn, and what did they impart? More importantly, if this isn't how you want to be now, how you ...
266: How do you get to breakthrough? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
21 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Do you know you have trauma stuck in your body, but you're not sure how to move it? Perhaps you're aware that your issues are in your tissues,...
265: What if she's got a sexual trauma background? How do you help? (ft. Violet Lange) [replay]
14 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
If you want a thriving, connected sex life with your partner, but feel like something's in the way ... it could be sexual trauma.The fact is, 1 in...
264: How do we learn about sex? (ft. Yuval Mann)
07 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Was your family skilled at teaching you about sex? Was your school, or your religious community?HA.I'm guessing not.Many families of origin suck a...
263: 5 ways to polarize a powerful woman (ft. Jason Lange)
30 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Has your woman ever been in her masculine, and you wished she was in her feminine? Here's something that doesn't work: "Hey, could you dro...
262: Are you lonely? (ft. Jason Lange)
23 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ever have trouble concentrating, or beat yourself up for not getting more done? Do you give yourself a hard time for watching porn & masturbating?...
261: If I'm having doubts, does that mean she's not The One? (ft. Jason Lange)
16 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
"I just can't make up my mind. Sometimes I feel like I'm settling, and that makes me sad. Sometimes I feel blessed to have someone as amaz...
260: How do you make consent sexy? An adult film actress shares! (ft. Tasha Reign)
09 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A lot of the men we work with don't want to be That Guy. The guy who's creepy or pervy or weird. The guy who makes women feel unsafe, whether ...
259: Want her to feel safe with you, and free to be vulnerable? Learn to do this. (ft. Jason Lange)
02 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
All of the men we work with, whether married, dating, or single, want women to feel safe with them. It's important to them that women trust them -...
258: Should you wait to get into a relationship in order to work on your stuff? & other popular questions (ft. me!)
26 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Relate to any of the following dating and relationship questions?In dating, I tend to get attached/excited about someone fast, and then really disappo...
257: Porn sex vs. real-life sex: a woman porn director lays it out (ft. Holly Randall) [replay]
19 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
If you've ever been concerned about erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation and looked at male-bodied porn stars with envy, here's a fun...
256: How do you support her when she’s having a hard time (and also get your needs met)? (ft. Violet Lange)
12 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
When a woman is going through a tough time (especially for an extended period of time), it can be easy to fall into a codependent dynamic. When she re...
255: GuyTalk: Fun with cunnilingus! 3 men share their experience of going down on women
05 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Oral sex can be super hot. In fact, some people consider it even more intimate than intercourse.As one writer put it, "Sexual intercourse is mostl...
254: The 3 common traps conscious couples fall into (and how to avoid them!) (ft. Allana Pratt)
28 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Let's say you're doing the work, and meet someone else who's doing the work. Now you're in a conscious relationship! Mazel tov! Now wh...
253: Can you address erectile dysfunction with a science-based sex toy? Turns out yes. (ft. Dr. Soum of MysteryVibe)
21 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Sex is part of life, and major life events affect our sex lives. Here are just a few things you might've wondered about in the course of your own ...
252: How to date & have connected sex with a trauma background (ft. Michael Unbroken)
14 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Trauma recovery might not seem like the sexiest topic, but you guys, it is. When it comes to to having healthy, passionate, connected sex, dating, and...
251: Dating lessons from a dating show host! (ft. Alli Goldberg)
07 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
"I'm a comedian, and now I’m an accidental matchmaker!"So says Alli, self-proclaimed theater geek and creator of Love Isn’t Blind — ...
250: How do you re-polarize a relationship (bring back the spark)? ft. Jason Lange
31 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
One of the most inspiring things we've seen in our work with men is the rejuvenation of relationships. We've seen clients in long-term, commit...
249: Feel like you can never get it right with her? This relationship pattern could be behind it (ft. Jason Lange)
24 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ever experienced the relationship pattern where she essentially says, "I was hurt by this thing you did," or, "I need you to love me bette...
248: Hot sexting! How & when to sext, and more on sexual communication (ft. Dr. Tara)
17 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Curious about sexting, or how to bring it up/do it in the context of a new dating relationship? Maybe it's an edge you'd like to push, or mayb...
247: GirlTalk: Dating apps! What's it like being a woman on them? [Replay]
10 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Real talk: Dating can be hard! So many of us long to connect with one another, but the process can feel ... challenging. Whether you're contending...
246: Getting to peak masculine vitality (ft. Michael Holt)
03 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ever feel like you're dragging? Like you don't have enough energy to do all the things you want to do, or just wish you had more oomph in gene...
245: What's it like to be swingers? (ft. John & Jackie Melfi)
24 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
How do you know if monogamy is right for you? Ever been curious about what it would actually be like to be a swinger, or date other people while still...
244: What if what makes me good at my job makes it harder to date? (ft. Jason Lange)
17 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We work with a lot of men in demanding professions, whether that means long work hours, high-stakes environments (like hospitals), hard manual labor, ...
243: Why are European women more likely to speak up about sex? (ft. Guy Blaise)
10 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Guy Blaise is a Frenchman who has lived in the U.S. for a number of years. As a man who has dated and had sex with both European and North American wo...
242: Stepping off the 'relationship escalator' (ft. Amy Gahran)
03 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
When it comes to dating, relationships, and sex, there's a strong cultural norm -- the plotline of what we're "supposed" to want. It g...
241: What if you've ticked the big boxes in life ... but you're still not happy? (ft. Jason Lange)
27 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ever felt "flat" in life? Like you've done a lot of the things you were "supposed" to do, but you're still not fulfilled? Or p...
240: How do we raise good men? (ft. Luke Entrup)
20 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
How did you know when you stopped being a boy and became a man (if that's how you identify)? And if you're raising a son, how will he know whe...
239: Realized I’m a "Nice Guy." Now what do I do about it? (ft. Jason Lange)
13 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Ever read No More Mr. Nice Guy, or heard about Nice Guy Syndrome and related to it? If you've identified yourself as a Nice Guy, you may have the ...
238: How do I approach a woman at the gym without bothering her? -- and other common dating questions (ft. me!)
06 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Here are 4 common questions I get from men, whether clients or listeners like you:How do I approach a woman at the gym or grocery store or other publi...
237: Going after the women YOU want (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
30 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you’ve ever had the experience of being too scared to approach or pursue the women you really want, this one’s for you. (It’s also for you if...
236: GirlTalk: Four women share their hottest sexual experience ever [replay]
23 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wished you could be a fly on the wall while women talked frankly about their sex lives!? We got you. Here, four of us women who have sex with men...
235: "I see a beautiful woman and immediately get triggered. Why?" (ft. Jason Lange)
16 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever frozen up around someone you found attractive? It can be exceedingly frustrating — you're fine around other people, but put you in front of...
234: GirlTalk: Something we crave from men but rarely ask for ... [replay]
09 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
There's a critical dating/relationship skill that some men have mastered, and it makes a huge difference on our side. It makes us feel special and...
233: Creative monogamy -- how to open up a relationship strategically (ft. Dr. Joli Hamilton)
02 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wondered what it's actually like to open up a relationship -- meaning explore ethical non-monogamy (ENM), also known as polyamory? Whether yo...
232: Love languages, conflict, connection, and repair
25 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever been in a relationship where you felt like she was nitpicking at you, like you could never do anything right? Or ever been in a phase where it fe...
231: Her journey from vanilla marriage to BDSM and kink! (ft. Sara)
18 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wished you could explore different kinds of sexy things in your relationship? How exactly does one go from missionary position to consensual flog...
230: How do I inspire my woman to want more sex with me? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
11 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
A pattern we often hear from the men we work with is that it's really hard for them to approach their partner for sex. This could be a dating part...
229: Men have body image issues, too. (ft. Jason Lange)
04 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When we think about body image, shame, and appearance, we often think about women. And for good reason — there's a lot of pressure on women to l...
228: Setting the mood for sensuality ... (ft. Amy Anthony)
28 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What does it actually mean to "set the mood"? Yes, candles are fantastic — they give that soft light that makes everybody look great, and th...
227: How a woman can reclaim her erotic essence (ft. Violet Lange)
21 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Want that sizzle, that dazzle, that magical mystique? Of course you do. Everyone does. And if you're in a long-term relationship, it can feel hard...
226: GirlTalk: When men do this, we melt. (Yes, really!) [replay]
14 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Want hot sexy polarity in your relationship or dating life? You're gonna want to master this. It's the one relationship skill to rule them all...
225: We're talkin' tussling! How positive emotional tension can enhance your relationship (ft. Dr. Robert Glover)
07 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever felt like a woman was testing you, pushing your boundaries in annoying ways, or giving you a "shit test" (not a great term, but one you m...
224: What does it mean to have honest sex? (ft. Shana James)
30 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What does it mean to actually be honest when it comes to sex? A lot of couples never really talk about their sex life in depth. Sure, maybe one perso...
223: Sexological bodywork, somatic sex education, and overcoming trauma (ft. Chris Muse & Alyssa Morin)
23 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wished sex were easier? As in, that you could feel totally comfortable in your body, fearless in your sexuality, easily ask for what you want, an...
222: Are you using your woman for sex? (ft. Jason Lange)
16 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Do you want more sex with your wife (or partner)? Ever wanted to have sex in order to feel better? Do you get really pent-up when you haven't had ...
221: What's her feminine storm, and what's abuse? (ft. Violet & Jason Lange) [replay]
09 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever been abused by a woman partner? Been with a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? If so, you're not alone. But you may be confuse...
220: How do I tell if she likes me? (ft. Jason Lange)
02 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What are the signs a girl likes you? How do you know whether a woman is interested? If you're a man who has sex with women and you've ever won...
219: How do you handle it if one partner's up and the other is down? (ft. Jason Lange)
26 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
As a culture we don't talk about this a lot, but what happens when you're jealous of your partner? Not jealous in the traditional sense, but w...
218: Lost that spark? How to get the chemistry back in a long-term relationship (ft. Alicia Davon)
19 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you've ever been married or in a long-term committed relationship, you know that the sparks that flew at the beginning don't just keep burn...
217: When sex is about more than just the sex. (ft. Jason Lange)
12 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever felt like your wife or partner has sex with you just to fulfill her duty in the relationship? That she's not really into it, but knows she &#...
216: Special GuyTalk: Sexual challenge, consciousness work, and relationship
05 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever struggled with porn addiction, premature ejaculation, concern over how your cock looks (for the record, all penises are beautiful, including unci...
215: Are you intimidated by her emotions? Here’s what to do (ft. Jason Lange)
29 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever been scared of your woman's upset? You’re not alone. Perhaps you can hold space for her hurt, anger, or grief if it’s not about you (i.e....
214: How does the father wound affect a man? (ft. Jason Lange)
22 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
"Kids have a hole in their soul in the shape of their dad," says Roland Warren, former president of the National Fatherhood Initiative. "A...
213: “Why isn’t my wife attracted to me anymore?” (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
15 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever had these kinds of thoughts?:“If I didn’t initiate sex with my woman, we’d never have it.”“My partner doesn’t want sex as much as me....
212: Have you had a disappointing love life? (ft. Dr. Thomas Jordan)
08 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
"I was raised by a mom who was dependent, controlling, and self-centered. Then I looked for women like that."So begins this episode about what...
211: One of the deepest modalities I've encountered thus far (ft. Jessica Hagan)
01 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Most men I work with want a healthy, happy love relationship. Yet it often feels like there's something in the way -- some kind of block or sense ...
210: Dating after 40 -- turns out it can be better than ever (ft. Jade Chang Sheppard)
24 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When Jade got divorced and entered her 40s, she had some fears and uncertainties ... especially after going to The Internet for advice. But her explor...
209: "I knew I wanted something different, but didn't know how to get there." (Jason Lange)
17 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When Jason was in his 20s he felt stuck and kind of numb. He'd never had sex. He'd had a really hard time with dating and relationships. He co...
208: GuyTalk: "I used to suck at girls ... and now I don't."
10 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever felt like you suck at girls? Examples:You just don't know what you're doing when it comes to dating (or sex, or relationships)Getting alo...
207: Staying together for the kids? There are things you should know. (ft. Jason Lange)
03 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Should you stay together for the kids? It's a critical question. When a relationship/marriage isn't working (say because your sex life is dead...
206: “Our first sex was terrible ... and here's why I married him” (ft. Anna Rova)
27 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wondered whether you can have a passionate marriage even if the beginning was rocky? Ever wanted to know what powerful, sexy women really want fr...
205: So an introvert and an extrovert walk into a bar… (ft. Jason Lange)
20 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
… and get into a relationship. ;) What then!? How does being an introvert or extrovert impact your sex, dating, and relationship life? How do you ma...
204: GirlTalk: Gettin' down and dirty. We're talking blow jobs! [replay]
13 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you're a man who has sex with women, chance are you'd love to know how women really feel about going down. We got you. In this frank discus...
203: Let's Get Real Bro: Is the missing piece in your relationship life bros? (ft. Weston Karnes)
06 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When you think of the success of your relationship, or how to improve your marriage, the first thing you think of might not be how close your male fri...
202: 'Our sex life isn't working, but other things in the relationship are. What do we do?' (ft. Jason Lange)
29 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What do you do when aspects of your long-term relationship work, but your sex life is DOA? Sex therapists define a sexless marriage as one in which th...
201: 'Life was one big party I wasn't invited to': Overcoming social anxiety (ft. Ryan Black)
22 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever felt like you're either left out or somehow behind everyone else when it comes to sex, dating, or relationships? Is it hard for you to be aro...
200: GirlTalk: What makes a man trustable?
15 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
For many men, there's nothing better than knowing that you're deeply trusted. And for many women, a man who inspires profound trust also inspi...
199: Want to overcome trauma quickly? De-armoring can help (ft. Sunny Ju)
08 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The core of most attachment issues, relationship problems, and sexual dysfunction (like not being able to get it up, keep it up, or cum when you want)...
198: Want a harder cock more of the time? Screw Viagra. Do this. (ft. Brian Ayers)
01 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Erectile dysfunction (ED) affects about 30 million men in the US alone; a whopping 30-40% of men report struggling with premature ejaculation (PE) dur...
197: How does fatherhood change a man? (ft. Tripp Lanier)
25 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
One of the most pivotal moments in a man's life is becoming a father. How do you prepare for it? If you're already a father, how do you reconc...
196: The “invisible” relationship pattern that can affect everything (ft. Jason Lange)
18 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever pushed someone away in a relationship without even realizing it -- or known you were doing it but couldn't stop? Ever felt needy or anxious i...
195: Good vs. bad couples counseling -- what to know (ft. Figs O'Sullivan)
11 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
There's a difference between good and bad couples therapy. When you're trying to understand how to improve your marriage/romantic relationship...
194: The "Orgy King" who overcame crippling sexual insecurity (ft. Kenneth Play)
04 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever felt like your cock wasn't big enough, or worried that because you don't know how to please a woman in bed, she'll shame you in some ...