Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women
Episodes
193: Want freedom from attachment? You can get there. (ft. Tracy Crossley)
25 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
You can be an expert on your anxious, avoidant, or anxious/avoidant attachment style, but that doesn't necessarily help you actually get to health...
192: Opposites attract, but can they repair? (ft. Azrya & Benjamin Bequer)
18 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When you're in a relationship, how do you navigate the really hard conversations — the ones where you know you could be risking everything by ev...
191: Supporting a woman in her sexual pleasure & healing (ft. Violet Lange & Keri Nola) [replay]
11 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Sexual trauma shows up in different ways — both physically and emotionally. For example, some folks may not have undergone sexual abuse or assault, ...
190: Responding to a woman's criticism masterfully (ft. Jason Lange)
04 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wished you were better at receiving feedback in dating or relationship? For many men, it's a challenge to respond with grace instead of defen...
189: GirlTalk: Does size matter?
28 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Yep, we're talkin' about cocks! When it comes to penises, there are all different kinds, and as women who have sex with men we've seen a w...
188: Want to date well? Getting to the "hard stuff" fast can help (ft. CanWe founder Russ Haywood)
21 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever been frustrated by the dating apps? If so, you're not alone -- studies show 40-50% of people using them are frustrated! Maybe there's a b...
187: Sex worker talks virgins & threesomes & brothels, oh my! (ft. Alice Little)
14 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wondered what it's like to work at a high-end, legal brothel? Alice Little, attuned sex worker and essentially intimacy coach, discusses her ...
186: GirlTalk: Approaching us in the wild (the "cold approach") [replay]
07 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Ever seen an attractive woman at a coffee shop, grocery store, or just on the street who you'd love to get to know -- but don't know how to ap...
185: A Sex Journal for Couples (ft. Levina Li & Caleb Spaulding) [replay]
31 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Both men and women want even better, more connected sex (for that matter, who doesn't)? Whether you're having casual sex, in a dating relation...
184: GirlTalk: Men, money, and masculinity
24 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What if she makes more than you -- or vice versa? Should you pay for dates or go Dutch, and is one of those somehow rude/sexist? How do women really f...
183: "I'm fine." Handling passive aggression with grace (ft. Jason Lange)
17 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Mixed messages in your relationship can be one of the most frustrating elements of communication. Whether it's about sex, love, or something in be...
182: Is your partner a survivor of sexual trauma? What to expect & how to help (ft. Violet Lange) [replay]
10 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
If you're a man who has sex with women, chances are extremely high you've slept with a woman with sexual trauma. Signs can include: she avoids...
181: What exactly is polarity? We break it down. (ft. Violet Lange) [replay]
03 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How do you keep sex hot in your relationship over time? How do you generate attraction on a date without feeling like you're forcing it (whether a...
180: Top 3 things we’ve learned after coaching men on sex & relationships for years (ft. Jason Lange)
26 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
'Tis the season for reflection, and here Jason and I each share our top learnings when it comes to hearing from -- and coaching -- hundreds of men...
179: Why’s it so hard for me to approach my wife/partner for sex? (ft. Jason Lange)
19 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It might seem like a paradox: You're in a long-term relationship with a woman, yet it's actually harder to approach her for sex. You might thi...
178: What's it like to have non-ejaculatory orgasms as a man? (ft. Cam Fraser)
12 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In the world of advanced sexual mastery for men, the non-ejaculatory orgasm (aka "energetic orgasm" or "full-body orgasm") looms large...
177: What's it like being a "wing girl" to thousands of men? (ft. Marni Kinrys, of the Wing Girl Method)
05 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How good are you at gauging whether a woman is interested in you? How 'bout how to "escalate" in a titillating yet ethical (non-creepy) wa...
176: Men, weed, alcohol, and love. (ft. Jason Lange)
29 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wondered whether you have a normal or healthy relationship with weed, alcohol, or another substance? Here's a related thing to consider: I...
175: Repair conversations, MDMA, and love (ft. Jayson Gaddis)
22 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
When your partner triggers you, how do you respond? Do you have boundless patients and flawless boundaries? Or do you struggle to know how to get your...
174: How knowing your "hottest sexual movie" can make for smokin' sex (ft. Celeste Hirschman)
15 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Nope, we're not talking about your favorite porn video -- we're talking about what your particular psyche finds sexy. It turns out your hottes...
173: Conscious Cock. What is it and how can it help you? (ft. Kristopher Lovestone)
08 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
When you think of a sex educator, you probably think about school. But the truth is a lot of us need sex education as adults (even married folks!), an...
172: Revealing my sex research, one stat at a time (ft. Robbie Kramer)
01 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What has a woman who has sex with men want to sleep with a man again and again? What, according to sex research, makes a man great in bed? It's no...
171: Adventures in cross-cultural dating (ft. Robbie Kramer)
24 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ever dated someone from a different background, or from a different country? What's sex and relationship like with a language barrier? Robbie and ...
170: How do you overcome sexual shame? (ft. Becky Carter)
17 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ahhh, sexual shame. Most of us have it to some extent, and it can severely limit your sex and relationship life if you don't get it handled. Fortu...
169: Making after-sex cleanup awesome, one couple at a time (ft. Frances Tang)
10 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
“In short, the idea for Dripstick started at the intersection of baking and laziness.” Frances Tang is the founder and CEO of Awkward Essentials, ...
168: From Christian pastor to stripper! How she overcame religious trauma (ft. Nikole Mitchell)
03 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ever felt guilty or ashamed of your sexuality because of your religious background? Nikole Mitchell started life as a Baptist ... and is now an OnlyFa...
167: How do I meet women to date in real life (instead of on dating apps)? ft. Camille Virginia
27 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Sick of getting ghosted or having other not-so-great experiences on dating apps like Hinge, Tinder, Bumble, etc.? While the apps are an important part...
166: Can psychedelics help heal you? (ft. Jason Lange)
20 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wondered what it's like to do ayahuasca, MDMA (molly), or psilocybin (magic mushrooms)? Are they right for you (can they help boost your sexu...
165: From Air Force Captain to personal growth leader (ft. Bryan Reeves)
13 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
"When I got out of the military, I couldn't feel a damn thing." While technically ending his military career as a success, Reeves' int...
164: What exactly *is* tantra? (ft. Devi Ward Erickson)
06 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wondered what tantra means, exactly? You're not alone. If you picture a bunch of people having a massive sex orgy, or a married couple attemp...
163: Ever had red-hot sex with someone who's bad for you? (ft. Jason Lange)
30 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Often the people who are the most sexually attractive to us are the ones who trigger all our "stuff." We call this "trauma sex," and q...
162: What's the difference between porn sex and real-life sex? A woman porn director explains (ft. Holly Randall)
23 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Holly Randall grew up in a household where both parents were in the adult industry (as photographers/producers). Eventually she herself became an adul...
161: 3 common ways women try to control men in relationships (ft. Simone Milasas)
16 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ever felt like your partner was trying to control you, whether in dating or a committed relationship — for example by withholding sex, subtly shamin...
160: She went from not wanting sex at all to deep, fulfilling sex (ft. Irene Fehr)
09 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Irene and her husband started out hot and heavy, but that sexual chemistry didn't last. Eventually sex was painful for her and she sought out help...
159: It happens to boys, too. Somatic therapies to heal from sexual abuse (ft. Rahi Chun)
02 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Got sexual issues like not being able to get hard when you want to (aka erectile dysfunction), premature ejaculation, or being unable to keep an erect...
158: How "radical authenticity" can transform your dating & relationship life (ft. Connell Barrett)
25 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Imagine going up to a woman you don't know and saying, straight up, "You're sexy." Can you picture it? Does it give you anxiety? Conne...
157: How to talk dirty during sex -- while making her feel safe (ft. Ashley Manta) [REPLAY]
18 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wanted to spice up your sex life with some dirty talk? Connected sex leads to a happy, healthy relationship, and that can be enhanced by adding i...
156: The new dating app that gets you more dates! (ft. Zach Schleien of Filter Off)
11 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Most dating apps for straight folks have about 90% men and 10% women on them -- so the experience for men is often one of scarcity. (If you have troub...
155: How to overcome anxious/avoidant attachment in relationship (ft. Dr. Matt Kreinheder)
04 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
If you want a healthy, happy relationship, you'll need to address your attachment wounds. We've all got 'em to one extent or another -- an...
154: Can I have female friends when in a relationship? (ft. Jason Lange)
28 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How do you stay in integrity when you have women friends, as a man in a monogamous relationship. How do you handle it if your partner gets triggered o...
153: Her sexual healing: How to support her *and* get your needs met (ft. Violet Lange)
21 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Many couples start out hot and heavy when it comes to sex, only to see that sexual heat fade. One of the sources of this can be unresolved sexual trau...
152: GirlTalk: How to go down on a woman so she *loves* it
14 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
If you're a man who has sex with women, going down on women is not a topic you'd necessarily feel safe bringing up with other women in your li...
151: Curious about consent? Intimacy Coordinators for sex scenes break it down (ft. Jenifer Yeuroukis & Sarah-Jane Hill)
07 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
"How do I get consent?" is a common question men who have sex with women have when it comes to sexy time. Even movie stars need help when it c...
150: Want a happy, healthy relationship? This could be holding you back. (ft. Ben Goresky & Mark Wolynn)
30 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
If you desire a fun, healthy relationship with hot, connected sex and harmonious teamwork, you can have it ... but it takes consciousness work to tran...
149: "My wife doesn't want sex anymore." It could be time for this. (ft. Jason Lange)
23 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
"My wife doesn't like sex." "Why isn't my wife attracted to me?" "How can I fix my marriage?" These are common questio...
148: Being a male virgin in your 20s, 30s, or beyond (ft. Jason Lange)
16 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Are you a late bloomer? When it comes to sex, dating, and relationships, there's a perception that if you're a straight man, you should have s...
147: Are you afraid of her emotions? Here’s what’s important to know (ft. Jason Lange)
09 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ever been scared of your woman's anger, sadness, grief, or rage? It can be overwhelming and hard to handle when a woman fully expresses her femini...
146: Special GuyTalk/GirlTalk: Ghosting. Let's break it down.
01 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Whether you're on Hinge, Bumble, OKCupid, Match.com, eHarmony, Coffee Meets Bagel or any of the other multitude of dating apps, you've likely ...
145: How to "do" attachment well, according to a couples therapist (ft. Ryan Ginn) [REPLAY]
26 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How do you actually apply attachment theory to relationship, and how do you know when to get outside help (i.e. a couples therapist or coach)? The 2 t...
144: Should you stay together for the kids? (ft. Jason Lange)
21 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It's a common relationship question, especially when a marriage isn't working: Should we stay together for the kids? Should I stay in this for...
143: GirlTalk: Dating apps: Our experience (as straight women)
12 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Modern sex, dating, and relationships often Hinge on dating apps (see what I did there?). Whether you're on Bumble, Tinder, Match, eHarmony, OKCup...
142: Afraid of being called creepy? This could be why (ft. Jason Lange)
08 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The fear of being called creepy or viewed as a pervert, whether in a sexual scenario, while dating, or even in relationship, runs deep. It can reach l...
141: GuyTalk: Bullying, resilience, and relationships
26 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How does being bullied early in life affect your ability to trust and connect in sex, dating, and relationships later on -- and how can it actually ma...
140: The line between her being abusive and her feminine storm (ft. Jason Lange & Violet Lange)
19 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Women want to feel fully emotionally expressed around men, but where's the line between expression and abuse? Here, we take on the issue of women ...
139: How to Not Die Alone (ft. Logan Ury & Kristen Berman)
12 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wished you could apply scientific principles to dating? Then you'll love this episode. Behavioral scientist and author of recent Amazon best-...
138: GirlTalk! When should you text her vs. call her? [Replay]
05 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In the age of modern dating, it can be hard to know when to text vs. call vs. FB message vs. Instagram DM her... women and men, guys and girls, everyo...
137: Should you stay friends with her? (ft. Jason Lange)
30 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Say you've gone on a date or two with a woman you're interested in sexually and then she lets you know she's not interested in you romanti...
136: GuyTalk: Dating after divorce
22 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Getting a divorce can be both freeing and terrifying at the same time. Who you are post-relationship? How do you let go of guilt or a sense of failure...
135: How being 'disrespectful' could help your sex life (ft. Jason Lange)
15 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
As a sex researcher, I've repeatedly noticed a trend when men share with me about their love lives: Some men are more comfortable using overly sex...
134: Feel let down by your partner a lot? This might be why (ft. Jason Lange)
08 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
If you've ever felt like you're constantly the one giving in a relationship and never receiving, this is for you. If it seems like you're ...
133: GirlTalk: Masturbation!
02 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
How do girls and women learn to masturbate? How does that different from boys, and how does that then inform the sexuality of each? Here, we get down ...
132: What if she's not doing the work? Can it work? (ft. Jason Lange & Violet Lange)
25 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
If you've ever wished your partner would open up more or grow in a certain area (i.e. sexual openness or emotional intimacy), you're not alone...
131: Feel like you can never get it right with her? This dynamic could be why (ft. Shana James)
18 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
There's a frequent pattern in male/female relationships where he feels like she wants him to read her mind, he feels like he can never get it righ...
130: GirlTalk: The best sex we've ever had :)
11 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
I'm talkin' about that good good lovin': that can't-wait-to-have-you, make-the-mattress-jump, happy, good sex. Whether it's in the...
129: Setting boundaries with family. 'Tis the season! (ft. Violet Lange)
04 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The number one indicator of whether a marriage will succeed or fail is not about the quality of the match or anything else you might predict; it's...
128: Feel like you're walking on eggshells? Recognizing Borderline Personality Disorder (ft. Violet Lange)
20 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Ever been in a relationship where little things set your partner off? Ever gotten the silent treatment (or had sex withheld from you) because you did ...
127: The secret to inspiring your woman to want more sex with you! (ft. Becky Wells) [replay]
13 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Ever been with a partner where you wanted more sex than she did? It can be more than just frustrating -- it can kill a relationship. It's not alwa...
126: If you don't want sex with tons of women, is there something wrong with you? (ft. Jason Lange)
06 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A lot of men feel like they're "supposed" to want to bang every woman they possibly can, and that if a woman makes herself sexually availa...
125: 2 sex coaches open up about men, love, and growth (ft. Shana James) [replay]
30 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When it comes to men, women, and sex, things can feel complicated. But when you zoom out, a lot becomes clear. My friend Shana James and I have collec...
124: How to have the women YOU want, want you back (ft. Jason Lange)
23 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Ever felt like the women you really want don't want you back? It's exceedingly frustrating (and not good for your sex, dating, or relationship...
123: The best therapy to help your sex & love life (might not be what you think) (ft. Z Zoccolante)
16 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
If you've ever repeated patterns in your sex, dating, or relationship life, you know how frustrating it can be. Keep attracting unavailable women,...
122: The 3 different kinds of female orgasm! (ft. Melanie Scott) [replay]
09 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Yes, sexuality is mysterious, but I'll bet you didn't know there were 3 different kinds of female orgasm! A lot of women don't even know a...
121: A brilliant & inexpensive alternative to couples therapy! (ft. Mark & Ayesha)
02 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When it comes to talking openly about sex and relationship, couples are often strangely isolated. You don't usually discuss the intricacies of you...
120: What if you're still a virgin (or sexually inexperienced)? (ft. Jason Lange)
25 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Will she still want to have sex with you if you're still a virgin at 26 years old (or 29, 34 or older)? What if you're divorced or getting div...
119: GirlTalk: Blowjobs! What we like and don't like in oral sex on men
18 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Do you give blow jobs at Da Club, during casual sex, or only in a committed relationship? Do you prefer to spit or swallow? We get into all the dirty ...
118: GirlTalk: Cheating. We get personal.
11 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Cheating is complicated. The effect of sex with someone outside your relationship (or emotional cheating in some cases) can be devastating and cause i...
117: What does it look like for *women* to "do the work"? (ft. Violet Lange)
04 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Men aren't the only ones who struggle with dating, relationships, and sex. Women of all ages, including those just out of a divorce, have insecuri...
116: Dating during COVID-19: how does it work? (ft. Violet Lange)
29 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Sex, dating, and relationships (including marriages) have all been affected by the coronavirus pandemic of COVID-19. There are unique challenges as we...
115: Is it easier for men or women to get into a relationship? (ft. Jason Lange)
21 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Is it easier for men or women to get into committed relationships? What about to get a first or second date, have casual sex, or find The One? In the ...
114: GirlTalk: The 1 relationship skill to rule them all
14 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A lot of dating relationships start out in the honeymoon phase -- lots of sex; fun, engaging dates; fantastic natural polarity. Then comes the first d...
113: The sexiest vacation you can take (ft. Mario Cruz)
07 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
It's not always easy to find fun, sex-positive environments where women feel safe to be fully expressed and men also feel totally welcome. Whether...
112: How quitting porn supercharged this man's sex life (ft. Jason Lange)
31 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A multi-billion dollar industry, porn and porn addiction have a massive impact on our sex, dating, and relationship lives. Both men and women are affe...
111: GuyTalk: 3 black men talk sex, dating & relationships (ft. Jules, Graze, and Ahmad)
24 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What's it like to be a black man in the world of dating and relationships? What role does emotional safety play in a healthy sex and relationship ...
110: GirlTalk: 3 black girls talk dating (ft. Ivy, Nina, and Amber)
17 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What's it like to be a black woman on dating apps? What does allyship look like in dating and relationships? What kinds of gifts do you get when y...
109: The secret to attracting the right women (and not the wrong ones) ft. Jason Lange [replay]
12 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
When it comes to sex, dating, and relationships, we tend to repeat patterns until we break them. Many men report attracting women who are emotionally ...
108: The key to dating with ease & overcoming anxiety in sex & relationships [replay]
06 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
It's easy to feel alone and lonely, even when there's not a global pandemic on. These three men inspire with their stories of going from stres...
107: Race, Privilege, and Healthy Masculine Leadership (ft. John Wineland, Preston Smiles, Dr. Siri Sat Nam, and Connor Beaton)
01 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
How can men help? This thoughtful panel discusses race, racism, privilege (including white privilege), and healthy masculine leadership. Sex, dating, ...
106: Getting sex back in a sexless relationship (ft. Ken Blackman) [replay]
31 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Polarity is complex and involves a number of dynamics, including men leading and women surrendering (both in sex and outside of it). But it also invol...
105: GirlTalk: When men do this, we get wet! (Yes, really) [replay]
24 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Polarity is HOT when men do this in relationship! Whether you're dating or in a long-term relationship like a marriage, the dance between the masc...
104: What does it mean to "do the work"? (ft. Jason Lange)
16 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We repeatedly see that men and women who "do the work" are the ones who get into (and sustain) healthy relationships. Doing the work almost al...
103: Reverse polarity can kill your sex life as a couple -- unless you do this (ft. Violet & Jason Lange)
10 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What happens in a romantic relationship when a man is more in his feminine energy and a woman is more in her masculine energy? Hint: not a lot of hot ...
102: BONUS GirlTalk - on men being in their power
04 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Whether in sex, dating, or relationships, both men and women grapple with how to be in their power. If being powerful doesn't mean being controlli...
101: First-ever listener panel! on owning power as a man (ft. Ben, David & Mark)
24 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What's a memorable time you owned your power? How about a time you didn't? Three loyal Dear Men listeners drop wisdom on sexual confidence, fr...
100: Being masculine & having emotions: how to "do" it well (ft. John Schinnerer)
17 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Men are often shamed for having emotions, which is holding back men, women, and culture as a whole. As a man, how do you deal with your anger, sadness...
99: A power couple talks about power in their relationship (ft. Jason & Violet Lange)
12 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
How does a man being in his power affect his woman? Whether in sex, dating, or relationships, the way WE show up affects how the OTHER person shows up...
98: How to boost your sex appeal by owning your power (ft. Kevin O'Malley)
03 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Women love a man who's in his power. Power isn't dominance (a point that a lot of men and women get confused). Sex, dating, relationships, and...
97: Using a matchmaker: what to know (ft. Matchmaker May)
27 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Both men and women have used matchmaking for centuries in cultures all over the world. Here we talk about the world of modern matchmaking, its relatio...
96: How do you date if you have a mental illness? (ft. Jim of NoLongerLonely.com)
21 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
How do you date if you've got a diagnosis like schizophrenia, an anxiety disorder, clinical depression, or bipolar? You can always use NoLongerLon...
95: How NLP can dramatically help your sex & love life (ft. Mark Sing)
06 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Unconscious & subconscious beliefs about sexuality, dating, relationships, and women can block men from what they want. Beliefs that were installe...
94: Real-life sexual healing (ft. Melissa Davison, Certified Sexological Bodyworker)
28 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A lot of men and women need sexual healing. Dating and relationships can bring up old issues, and sexual healing can happen with a sexual partner, but...