Digital Social Hour
Dating App Secrets: What 99% of Entrepreneurs Get Wrong | Blaine Anderson DSH #1004
22 Dec 2024
Chapter 1: What are the common issues with dating today?
Every gym has that guy. Yeah, you don't want to be that guy. So you really want to make sure, because if you're speaking to her over multiple interactions, you might realize, hey, I don't want to ask her out. We don't have that much in common. She's not that smart. You know, like whatever it is. And then you can nix it. And then maybe you ask somebody else out at a later time.
You don't like blow your one chance at the gym. Absolutely. All right, guys, got Blaine Anderson here today, dating expert. Thanks for coming on. Yeah, thanks for having me. Yeah, dating market's pretty interesting right now, right? Yeah, it is. There's a lot of complaints I see.
Chapter 2: Can flirting skills be learned?
Yeah, I'm curious, you know, if you go back 50 years, have people complained about dating as much? I feel like probably not. I don't think so. Yeah, but everyone is having trouble now and everyone thinks their city's the worst for dating. Right, what other troubles you're seeing?
Chapter 3: What are the best places to meet potential partners?
A lot of different things, but trouble navigating social media and apps, which is very understandable. Trouble creating connection and flirting. That's a big one I see from men. Finding somebody that they feel is on their level or that they connect with. I hear that all the time. And yeah, there's a lot of things that contribute to that. But those are some of the problems I see frequently.
Yeah. Do you think flirting can be acquired like if you suck at it? Absolutely. It is absolutely a learnable skill. Some people are naturally better at it than others, and some people learned it or practiced it more growing up because of their environment. They had a brother or dad who was really good at it, but it's absolutely a learnable skill and something you can get better at.
Okay. Yeah, some people are really bad, right? Yeah. I just see girls like screenshotting the messages and putting them on blast. And there's different styles of flirting too. Like this one style isn't going to work for every guy. You have to kind of figure out what works for you based on what you're comfortable with, your personality, your strengths. So it's not one size fits all.
Right. There's no one pickup line that can work 100% of the time.
Chapter 4: How do dating apps affect modern relationships?
No. And that's like, you know, sometimes people want that. They want like the secret code. What's the cheat code? And that's just not how dating works. Right, yeah, because every girl's different, right? Some girls might not like that line, so you've got to be adaptable.
And the most important thing when you're saying something or using a line is that it's authentic to you. If it doesn't sound like something that is authentic or you sound like you're reciting a rehearsed line, that's going to be the biggest turnoff of all.
So you're way better off skipping a line, being your authentic self, being confident, than trying to have the perfect, funny, witty, charismatic thing to say every time. That's not realistic. Yeah. How intimidated are guys to date you since you're a dating coach?
Well, I'm married. Um, yeah. Um, well I've actually, so I've been a dating coach full time since 2020. Uh, I, when I met my husband, I worked in a different industry. So yeah, he was, he didn't have that aspect to be intimidated by. That's funny. What does he think of what you're doing? He loves it. He loves it. He probably had friends struggling with it. So
Yeah, and I mean, I talk to him all the time about it, and a lot of the things that my clients and the guys I work with are struggling with are things he struggled with in his 20s and when he was younger. Yeah, I used to be terrible at it. I think it's like a confidence thing, too. Oh, absolutely.
I didn't have the best confidence, so translating that into dating, obviously, you're going to get in your own head. Are you dating now? Yeah, fiance. We're getting married next year. Congrats.
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Chapter 5: What should you consider before asking someone out?
Chapter 6: How important is confidence in dating?
Yeah, and I mean, I talk to him all the time about it, and a lot of the things that my clients and the guys I work with are struggling with are things he struggled with in his 20s and when he was younger. Yeah, I used to be terrible at it. I think it's like a confidence thing, too. Oh, absolutely.
I didn't have the best confidence, so translating that into dating, obviously, you're going to get in your own head. Are you dating now? Yeah, fiance. We're getting married next year. Congrats. But prior to that, I had no game, no confidence. Where did you meet her?
We met on a dating app, so I want to get your opinion on this. Because I've actually seen you talk about Tinder. But yeah, we met on Tinder. Oh, wow. Which is pretty rare, I feel like.
Yeah, it is. I mean, not rare to meet online. But Tinder, I would say, is one of the lower intent dating apps. It doesn't mean it's impossible, but there are more people looking for hookups. And you could use an app with what I call higher intent, like maybe Bumble or... Hinge where it's more relationship focused. That being said, there's millions of users on all of the apps.
You can find someone who's looking for what you're looking for on any of them. Yeah. And I was on that app before the bots started coming in. So now there's these OF bots, these AI bots. And I heard there's a lot of them. Yeah. Anywhere online or social media. Now you have that risk. Like I've seen bots made of me that are like using my voice and stuff, which is really scary. Yeah.
It's creepy. So they have your voice.
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Chapter 7: Why is location significant when dating?
Chapter 8: What trends are emerging in breakup dynamics?
I don't think so. Yeah, but everyone is having trouble now and everyone thinks their city's the worst for dating. Right, what other troubles you're seeing?
A lot of different things, but trouble navigating social media and apps, which is very understandable. Trouble creating connection and flirting. That's a big one I see from men. Finding somebody that they feel is on their level or that they connect with. I hear that all the time. And yeah, there's a lot of things that contribute to that. But those are some of the problems I see frequently.
Yeah. Do you think flirting can be acquired like if you suck at it? Absolutely. It is absolutely a learnable skill. Some people are naturally better at it than others, and some people learned it or practiced it more growing up because of their environment. They had a brother or dad who was really good at it, but it's absolutely a learnable skill and something you can get better at.
Okay. Yeah, some people are really bad, right? Yeah. I just see girls like screenshotting the messages and putting them on blast. And there's different styles of flirting too. Like this one style isn't going to work for every guy. You have to kind of figure out what works for you based on what you're comfortable with, your personality, your strengths. So it's not one size fits all.
Right. There's no one pickup line that can work 100% of the time. No. And that's like, you know, sometimes people want that. They want like the secret code. What's the cheat code? And that's just not how dating works. Right, yeah, because every girl's different, right? Some girls might not like that line, so you've got to be adaptable.
And the most important thing when you're saying something or using a line is that it's authentic to you. If it doesn't sound like something that is authentic or you sound like you're reciting a rehearsed line, that's going to be the biggest turnoff of all.
So you're way better off skipping a line, being your authentic self, being confident, than trying to have the perfect, funny, witty, charismatic thing to say every time. That's not realistic. Yeah. How intimidated are guys to date you since you're a dating coach?
Well, I'm married. Um, yeah. Um, well I've actually, so I've been a dating coach full time since 2020. Uh, I, when I met my husband, I worked in a different industry. So yeah, he was, he didn't have that aspect to be intimidated by. That's funny. What does he think of what you're doing? He loves it. He loves it. He probably had friends struggling with it. So
Yeah, and I mean, I talk to him all the time about it, and a lot of the things that my clients and the guys I work with are struggling with are things he struggled with in his 20s and when he was younger. Yeah, I used to be terrible at it. I think it's like a confidence thing, too. Oh, absolutely.
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