Downtime with John and Emily

Episode 204: How to Move

24 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Walk this way. Thanks so much to Sunny Side Down! Give them a follow on Instagram @sunnysidedownband and on spotify https://open.spotify.com/artist/5...

Episode 203: How to Get Naked

09 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It’s not as straightforward as you think! No music this week! Send us your original music! [email protected] Check out our Network Tw...

Episode 202: How to Do Your Taxes

22 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Or die trying. Check out all the cool stuff in the public domain or available for free at the internet Archive: https://archive.org/ Check out our ...

Episode 201: How to BIG GAME

15 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Where the heck even is Kansas City? Thanks again to King Liar for this week’s music, check them out here! https://linktr.ee/kingliarband Check out...

Episode 200: How to 2023

08 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We take the Barenaked :Ladies very seriously here. Thanks for sticking around for 200. Thanks to Rosey Reign for the tunes this week, make sure you’...

Episode 199: How to Work Potpourri

24 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Downey Siblings De-Classified Work Survival Guide is here, take notes. Thanks so much to Mark Thurau for providing the tunes this week, check him out...

Episode 198: How to Pumpkin Spice Blend

01 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

If you want to learn how to make pumpkin spice mix, check this episode out, that’s definitely what it’s actually about. Editor’s Note: Emily’s...

Episode 197: How to Survive the MCU

25 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes you ask your discord for how to suggestions and you decide to talk about Marvel movies instead. Podcasting. Anyway, koin our discord! Hit u...

Episode 196: How to Potpourri Smellier

03 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Episode 195: How to Write a Will

14 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

You’d be surprised at what The Law™ considers legally binding. Huge shouts out to Fake Pockets, first off for being a kickass band, but also for ...

Episode 194: How to Tell if You Have a Cavity

01 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

CW: Birth, Graphic Jokes about Placenta In short, Dentists are liars. Big thanks to Shadow Smile for providing their song Dearly Departed! Check the...

Episode 193: How to Lift a Curse

09 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

If you were at Vasen in Richmond recently and you put a curse on Emily, we’re onto you and our wrath is coming. Go watch the lyric video for Deadwe...

Episode 192: How to Relate to Your Stepson (feat. Taylor)

28 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Be cool , but don’t try too hard. Check out King Liar if you want more hard rock in your life! The song you heard today was “Gravestones and TV S...

Episode 191: How to Get a Neighbor to Forgive You (feat. HappyCapster)

20 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Preventively, make sure never to defecate in their yard, and always invite them to your Valentine’s Day Block Parties. If you enjoyed this episode,...

Episode 190: How to Nuzlocke (feat. Taylor)

21 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Do you love Pokemon, but wish the video games were harder? Do you love Dark Souls, but wish there was more of a creature collection aspect to it? You ...

Episode 189: How to Give a Best Man Speech

24 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Just don’t get drunk. HUGE SHOUTS to The Wonderlands for providing their song 16 Going On 23! Check out their tiktok and GO STREAM THE SONG! https:...

Episode 188: How to Cram for a Test

05 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

No one has ever studied in the quad, stop asking to study together in the quad. This week’s Musical Guest was RONI with her song Afterglow! Thank y...

Episode 187: How to Write a Letter

27 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Dear Listener, please rate and review this podcast. It’s free and only takes a couple seconds, but it helps us immensely. Kindest Regards, John and ...

Episode 186: How to Predict the Weather

06 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

What we learned today is that animals have their s*** figured out. A million thanks to Strange Neighbors for the music this week! If you enjoyed thei...

Episode 185: How to Tell You Have ADHD

29 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

CONTENT WARNING 3:45 - 5:20 Blood Talk Is you’re last name Downey? I can save you some time. You’ve got it. Big shouts to Merlinsyoshi for the t...

Episode 184: How to Hang Ten

23 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We’re getting dangerously close to our episode titles meaning absolutely nothing.Huge shouts out to Nastee Chapel for the music this week! Go stream...

Episode 183: How to Catch a Fish

22 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

There’s some good advice at the end. Check out Kainga: Seeds of Civilization and appreciate all the amazing work that Somepoint Sound has done on t...

Episode 182: How to Win a Street Fight

16 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

No Rules, Just Right: Out behind the Outback Thanks so much to Mike Turnwall & the Burning Sun for providing the musical interlude for this episode! ...

Episode 181: How to Solar Punk

13 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hey this is John, I wasn’t on this episode and I didnt edit it so I don’t know what Solar Punk is, but knowing my sister, it’s something aggress...

Episode 180: How to Prevent Acne

19 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

DONT USE PROACTIV Big Shouts to Georgia Owen for her song Off With You! Check out all of her stuff here! https://linktr.ee/Georgiaowenmusic Check ou...

Episode 179: How to Buy a Unicycle

11 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Let me be clear. Neither of the Downey Siblings know how to ride a unicycle. good thing that’s not what the dingdang episode’s about. go check ou...

Episode 178: How to Make a Character

21 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Let’s play some tabletop rpg’s shall we?? Thanks so much to Taylor for jumping in this week, you can find him running our game of DnD 5e titled Ap...

Episode 177: John and Emily are Getting Married!

16 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Order yourself a wedding cake tasting, you’re worth it. Thanks so much again to Amimi for the music this week! Check out all of their stuff through...

Episode 176: How to Write a Holiday Newsletter

16 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

If you’re gonna do it, go all in. Big shouts to Nica for sending in her song Volcano for this weeks episode! Follow the link to find more of her mu...

Episode 175: How to Be Brave for a Scary Movie

21 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Don’t poop. THanks so much to Katherine Aly for providing the music this week, if you enjoyed Pariah, make sure to follow her on Spotify and check ...

Episode 174: How to Werewolf Yourself

14 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Protect your loved ones. When the time comes, be prepared to werewolf yourself. psssst… This spotify link goes to Also Joe. You’ll hear his song...

Episode 173: How to Support The Arts

29 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Defecating in public and “Tater Toots” are not part of the strategy here, unfortunately. Follow @AmimiOfficial on Twitter to help out our musical...

Episode 172: How to Decide What to Watch

23 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Episode 171: How to Make a Fruit Salad

15 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When your twitter outbursts reach critical mass. If you enjoyed (Won’t Be) Out There Alone as much as we did, give The Last Recruit a follow on Ins...

Episode 170: How to Be a Good Host

02 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

TL;DR: Plungers in every bathroom. I’ll tolerate nothing less. Thanks so much to Somepoint Sound for providing us some beautiful music this week! T...

Episode 169: How to Be a Good House Guest

18 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Say please and thank you, communicate your whereabouts, offer to pay for shared meals, and strip your bed. You’ll go far, kid. Thanks to Big Love a...

Episode 168: How to Wake Up

11 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Zzzzzzz… Thanks so much to Eyes of Astoria for comin’ on back to Downtime! If you enjoy their song Hurricane Holiday, follow them on Spotify and ...

Episode 167: How to Pick an In Flight Movie

24 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Whatever you do, M. Night Shyamalan isn’t it. Thanks so much to Jessie DeFranco for sending in her song just pretend! Check out more from Jessie he...

Episode 166: How to Get to The Olympics

16 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

“How to get there” like how to get tickets? You can’t, there won’t be fans allowed in. Oh, like how to get INTO the Olympics? Y’all really s...

Episode 165: How to Find a Missed Connection

11 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Most important take aways from this episode: 1. Send your Missed Connections to @DowneySiblings on Social Media, or our email downtime@theoutlawsnetwo...

Episode 164: How to Write a Poem

24 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Hoch Kunst. Look it up. Thank you to Eyes of Astoria and to the Are We friends boys for the absolute gift that is Skylake City! If you enjoyed the mu...

Episode 163: How to Barter

17 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We’re just gonna start a Downtime Commune at this point. It’s not a weird cult thing, that’s all in your head. Thanks a million to shallow pool...

Episode 162: How to Make a Hat

03 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We have traveled many miles, studies under the greatest Hat makers in all the land to bring you this: The Ultimate Hat Making Instruction Podcast. It ...

Episode 161: How to Microwave Food

27 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This is an important skill, THIS SHOW IS USEFUL. Thanks to @HappyCapster for letting us takeover their twitch chat to crowdsource topics, and thanks ...

Episode 160: How to Rank the Disney Pixar Films

20 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The Downey Siblings have taken up the mantle once again. A holy light appeared to them from on high and tasked them with ranking all the Disney Pixar...

Episode 159: How to Eat Cicadas

13 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

CW: Yes we are going to talk a lot about bugs. specifically eating them. Last time they were here we were little babies and we failed to complete the ...

Episode 158: How to Become an Astronaut

28 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

If you callout enough celebrities for being horrible, one of them is bound to blow you up right? Elon, it’s your turn! Thanks to Benjamin Millman f...

Episode 157: How to Do First Aid

22 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

If you have ever played James Bond, don’t like listening to people talking about blood, or are Supernatural star Jared Padalecki, you are NOT going ...

Episode 156: How to Get Fired Up!

15 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week let the Downey Siblings and Taylor of the Are We friends Podcast be your hype people. They’re here to give you that boost you need to do t...

Episode 155: How to Get Ahead at Work

10 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Honestly, fr*ck the patriarchy, fr*ck working to live, let’s just all quit our jobs, make them give us a basic income and just vibe. Thanks to Lohr...

Episode 154: How to Dye Easter Eggs

01 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

TL;DR lot’s of piss jokes and Emily’s 1 Star Yelp review for Carvana. Your standard Downtime stuff. Check out Iris’ tiktok series! @birisro Th...

Episode 153: How to Sell Anything

24 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ever sell someone the shirt off their back? You just have to convince them that the shirt is an NFT that belongs to you and they technically don’t o...

Episode 152: How to Find a Pot O' Gold

18 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

What’s that? St. Paddy’s Day is literally today? So putting out a holiday themed episode is gonna be old news about 12 hours after it drops? Don’...

Episode 151: How to Keep a Lizard

11 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

So you got a lizard. Now what? Pop this pod, that’s what. Thanks so much to Drew Elliot for his song Missing You Now! Make sure to subscribe to Dre...

Episode 150: How to Have a Secret Office Romance

04 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Office Romances are really hot right now, We know it, you know it. Everyone has the hots for some cutie in their in-person office that they go to, ind...

Episode 149: How to Survive a Quarterlife Crisis

24 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Are you trudging through your mid to late twenties and don’t know what to do about it? Pop this cast into your head craters (the side ones) and catc...

Episode 148: How to Invest Wisely

19 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Wall Street dudes and Reddit Finance Bros keeping you down? We at Downtime are here to help put a little gas in your money tank. We’re pointing you ...

Episode 147: How to Get Someone to Marry You

11 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Look, we’re not happy about the Valentine’s Kangaroo either, no one should be. But if you don’t want to get rocked by a big marsupial on the 14t...

Episode 146: How to Find Your Soulmate

04 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I dunno, try hinge? That’s a thing, right? Thanks so much to Juniper for the music this week! Check them out at junipertheband.com and @junipertheb...

Episode 145: How to Become a Pokemon Master

27 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This episode is for hardcore gamers only. Thanks to Church-Hill for the music this week! Check out more by going to soundcloud.com/churchhilllll He...

Episode 144: How to Raise Money for Charity

20 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Emily’s raising money for the Richmond SPCA so we’re talking fundraising, celebrity endorsements, eating the rich, and Dolly Parton kicking life’...

Episode 143: How to Pee Standing Up

14 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This one’s for our biologically ill-equipped standing urinators. Who doesn’t want to pee standing up? Urinal users are the only ones who get cake...

Episode 142: How to Wrap up 2020

07 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We’re going through a whole year of Downtime! This is the episode where the Downey Siblings look back and do their own performance review. Did they ...

Episode 141: How to Overcome Your Fear of Birds

31 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Happy New Year! 2021 is going to be a time for us all to come together. Why not start with making amends with our avian brethren? Thanks again to Tayl...

Episode 140: How to Fix the 12 Days of Christmas

23 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Song sucks. We fixed it. It’s marginally better now, but still too long. Oops. Thanks so much to Worry Club for providing the music this week! Chec...

Episode 139: How to Make it Snow

17 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Some of us still have to risk life and limb going physically into work to stay afloat and could use a day off, others of us, just want to see that col...

Episode 138: How to Make a Holiday Card

10 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Grab a camera, a nice blazer, and some holiday cheer, it’s time to make a Holiday Greeting Card. Big Love and Little Hollywood just released their ...

Episode 137: How to Get a PS5

02 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the holidays again and you know what that means… Scalpers buying up all the good stuff off the shelves in order to reserve it all for the ric...

Episode 136: How to Save the Post Office

18 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Whatever you do, tread very lightly past this point. We’re messing with time and if we cause too much trouble here, we could create a worm hole and ...

Episode 135: How to Pick a Sign-Off

11 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This was a totally different episode when we first sat down to record it. But you know what? When your favorite weatherman gets a horrible illness, so...

Episode 134: How to Create James Bond Cinema

03 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes, when a daddy podcast and a mommy podcast love each other very much, they have to do an episode together because your cohosts don’t have f...

Episode 133: How to Survive a Slasher

27 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The Gator Boy Begins... The Outlaws thought they were gonna have a nice small party in the swamps near Hilton Head, SC. Little did they know, the Gato...

Episode 132: How to Be Witched

20 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

What does it mean to be witched? How does one begin the process of being witched? We gotta be honest here, we thought of this title after we had alrea...

Episode 131: How to Defeat All Monsters

13 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Everyone knows what to do when zombies, werewolves, or vampires come around, whether you have the wherewithal to do so remains to be seen. We’re her...

Episode 130: How to Have a Safe Halloween

07 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

There’s a lot of people out here talking about how Halloween is cancelled, we at Downtime are here to say, “To hell with those people!” Come lis...

Episode 129: How to Be an Adult

29 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We know you’re tired of hearing people equate your level of “adulthood” to how much money you have. We’re here not to stop that cycle, but at ...

Episode 128: How to Build a Robot

16 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Well, it’s really more like, ‘How to Design a Robot’… because to explain how to build a robot through an audio medium would probably be awful ...

Episode 127: How to Not Get Eaten

02 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Any day I’m not devoured by some horrific beast is a good day. Thanks to Monster Jaw for our music this week! Also thanks for getting back together...

Episode 126: How to Pick an Emergency Contact

26 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

My emergency contact is the nice lady at the Whole Foods cheese counter. Thanks so much to That Brunette for the great music this week. If you liked ...

Episode 125: How to Leave Your Husband

19 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This marriage has been a long and winding road. But, I’ve thought long and hard about this. I know we’re in a bowling alley in front of all of our...

Episode 124: How to Create an Award Winning TV Show

12 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

That’s right, we’re aiming for our sellout moment. Forget artistic integrity, we don’t need that here. We’re going full Emmy bait, babyyyy. I ...

Episode 123: How to Play Board Games

05 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Ever heard of a rule book?? Neither have we! we’re throwing rules to the wind in this one. You don’t need ‘em. Games are for fun and rules are f...

Episode 122: How to Contact Aliens

29 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Warning: We did make a joke in here about Covid19 potentially being a yummy treat for aliens. We didn’t edit it out but we fully recognize that it i...

Episode 121: How to Make a Scent

22 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Are you an aspiring fragrance artist? Let the Downeys be your scent Sherpas up Mount Cologne. Many thanks to Steve Hewitt for the music this week. Hi...

Episode 120: How to Live in New York City

15 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Emily and John both lived in NYC for a spell as some of you listeners may remember. They're here with some super helpful and not at all jaded advice o...

Episode 119: How to Make a Phone Call

08 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Phone calls are hard. Sometimes because you have to break bad news to people, sometimes because you don’t know if the conversation is gonna go your ...

Episode 118: How to Not Cry

30 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes you just have that day. That day where all you really feel like doing is sitting in a hole and crying. We here at Downtime understand and we...

Episode 117: How to Cut Your Own Hair

24 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

At this point if you haven’t already cut your own hair in quarantine, you probably aren’t planning on it. But just in case you are, we’re here t...

Episode 116: How to Go Grocery Shopping

17 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This one goes out to all the martians trying to fit in with real humans that we keep catching with these great episode titles! Thanks so much to Dani...

Episode 115: How To Protest

09 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We fully support the Black Lives Matter movement and this week we wanted to make it clear to our listeners that we are committed to doing what we can ...

Episode 114: How to Start a Network

27 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Like Megazord herself, we have teamed up with our friends to create one big marketing ploy, I mean network. We made a podcast network! Joining the pow...

Episode 113: How to Give a Commencement Speech

20 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The Downeys are most likely never going to be asked to give a commencement speech for real so this was mostly just a fun thought experiment for them. ...

Episode 112: How to Win a Reality TV Show

13 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Big Brother, Survivor, The Bachelor. You know ‘em, you love ‘em, but could you win? You will be able to in about an hour when you’re listening t...

Episode 111: How to Eat a Whole Cake

06 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Lose a bet? Accepting a dare? Get in trouble at school and don’t wanna get sent to the Chokey? Then you need these tips on how to eat a whole cake i...

Episode 110: How to Make the Perfect Sandwich

29 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Two Words. Duck. Nuggets. Thanks so much to Meryl Rudy for the music this week! If you loved Mine, you should head to the following link to her spoti...

Episode 109: How to Pretend to Be Busy

21 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We all have our tricks for looking busy in the workplace to get through those slower days without anyone getting on your back. Here are ours! No, not ...

Episode 108: How to Survive on a Deserted Island

14 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Everyone's out here enjoying building up society on their deserted islands in Animal Crossing, but the Downey siblings are here to tell you, it's not ...

Episode 107: How to Hide Eggs

07 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Bunny Day! If you don’t know Bunny Day, then you’re not going to understand the first 15 minutes of this episode because that’s ALL Anima...

Episode 106: How to Steal The Declaration of Independence

01 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Nicolas Cage’s character in National Treasure may be a true misogynist, but all that says to us is that his job in the film can be done better the s...

Episode 105: How to Stay Occupied at Home

25 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We’re all stuck at home and it sucks. But if we all pool our tactics for fighting boredom, we can get through this thing. Fall in love with your roo...