#577 - Laundry Zero, Final Score Yoga and Mmm Meat Toms
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What is the “Laundry Zero” concept John describes at the start of the episode?
Before we start this episode, we want to invite you along to the adventures of Ellis and John.
If you head over to patreon.com slash Ellis and John, you can join us on our monthly escapades, including... Mini Olympics. It's the strangest legal jump in
the history of long jump. Bird watching. My two favourite things are birds and football. Retaking our driving tests.
I am chock full of adrenaline. Yes. It's absolutely horrible. And you can watch our latest episode now, The Pottery Challenge. I should warn you, pottery makes me horny. We shouldn't have worn those light
shorts. So, for adventures and so much more, head over to patreon.com slash ellisonjohn now. . Uh-oh, said Claire MacDonald, emptying a bag of roast chicken and time sensations into her mouth while sending an expletive-filled text to Chris Warburton, who's running late. Looks like Matt Britton has been to a sodding wellness retreat. The Director General of the BBC had summoned all of Five Lives DJs to Broadcasting House for a catch-up, but mainly as an excuse to celebrate the autumn equinox which had caused Colin Murray to give Nicky Campbell such extreme side-eye that had given him a headache. "'Absolute belch!' he said as Naga shushed him. Adrian Childs idly played with the Velcro straps on his shoes before the meeting started."
Hi, everyone, said Matt. Merry Equinox. I love this time of year. It's a celebration of fertility and renewal. The earth has awoken and Mother Nature's providing us with a tidal wave of creative energy and the UEFA Conference League has started. He hadn't noticed that Naga was doing a gesture under the desk that would get her a booking on the football pitch. At least when Tim Davey had these meetings, he'd handed out free mini-milks, fabs and knobbly-bobblies. Matt had given her a leaf. I hate to hurry things along, said Matt Chorley, but I'm interviewing Shabana Mahmood in 20 minutes. The Director General looked at Matt Chorley with pity. Matt's stressed. You're all stressed. Being a DJ at Five Live is the hardest job in the world, apart from being a fireman or a soldier or a midwife or loads of things.
And I'm here to acknowledge that. That piqued everyone's interest, apart from Dotna Dabayu, who's snoring in the corner as 2pm is past his bedtime. Listen, I've seen the texts that come in. I get it. I was talking about this stuff at a wellness retreat at the weekend. But I came back feeling so refreshed. It was me, a couple of execs at Spotify, Daniel Fark and Fiona Bruce. We came together to sit, think, dance, roar and cry in a nourishment circle with one another and feel held. So I'd like us all to do that today. The room was silent, apart from the sound of Rick Edwards playing Crossy Road on his phone. You don't look convinced, said Matt. Why? Adrian talked to me. I was just thoughting to talk to Gordon Strachan about why Scottish teams are struggling in Europe.
I don't think I need to be held, certainly not on the radio. Although if this is an open forum, I wish we'd stop buying Tesco Valley tea bags for the BBC kitchen. Adrian, said Matt. Come on. We'll chat, breathe, stretch, journal, dance, drink a bit of silky cacao. Adrian, I want to see your wild animal side. And then when you go home tonight, you can tell your wife that you feel valued and loved. To the same court noise. The Director General made everyone sit in a circle and roar out their worries. Matt surely roared that he worried that politicians didn't always give him a straight answer as he looked at his watch. Adrian roared that he wished Premier League regs allowed him to interview referees. And Rick roared that he wished parental controls were turned off on his phones, that he could get rid of the ads on Crossy Road.
The DG made everyone a cacao. Colin Murray spat it out and said it was grim, before asking why Ellis, John and Dave weren't at the meetings. They could drink a disgusting drink and feel hailed. The DG sighed. OK, I'll get them on speakerphone. Hi, Dave, it's Matt Britton, the DG. Can I offer you a cacao?
LAUGHTER
I said I'd knock that on the head after the Oasis eating part.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the “Laundry Zero” concept John describes at the start of the episode?
0:00–12:17
2
How do John and Ellis explain the new washing line upgrade and its impact?
12:17–21:37
3
What is the “Final Score Yoga” segment and how is it presented?
21:37–41:48
4
How does the episode explore the debate over what counts as a T‑shirt?
41:48–52:00
5
What is the Rapid Response Unit and how can listeners participate?
52:00–1:02:37
6
What are the rules and objectives of the Made‑up Game introduced by the hosts?
1:02:37–1:12:13
7
How did the Made‑up Game rounds play out and who won?
1:12:13–1:18:42
8
How can listeners submit their “shame” and where can they find more content?
1:18:42–1:19:29
Speakers
4 identifiedMore from Elis James and John Robins
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#574 - It’s Groinal, Club 44-60 and Crying At A Dog Called Bonehead
#573 - Denim Condoms and Prunes: A Strange Episode
#572 - My Multiple Men, Common Sense Express and In Association with Prunes
#571 - She Shy, Crumpets for the Boys and What of the Chickens?