How’s that for a podcast title, we can only hope it’s rolling past your eyes on repeat via the display of your digital radio or Spotify app. We are not sorry, we are actually warning you that this episode has a lot of dick built into its contents. We’ll explain more after Em sorts the introduction, which is where she spontaneously created that title (I did take note of it Em, and obviously totes loving it, it’s also way better than her other suggested option of ‘Dick Chat’) there’s a lot of side quest action in the intro, so can we get a huzzah for that? HUZZAH! First up we need to talk about an article that sent Em into an emotional tailspin, but in true side quest realness we also cover off the continuing obsession with Em being on ‘The Masked Singer’. There’s all the action that goes on within the Emsolation Facebook Group to reflect, which includes some VERY effective photoshopping, plus the news that some believed Em was Baby has been proved wrong after Killing Heidi front woman Ella Hooper revealed herself to be under the baby mask. Anyway, this article is a good chance for all of us to check our own internalised misogyny, after a Mamamia journalist chose to trot out the labels ‘outspoken’ and ‘controversial’ when describing Em. Those two words trigger Em on a number of levels and she is calling for all of us to try and stop using words like ‘outspoken’, ‘controversial’ or ‘opinionated’ to describe women who have thoughts and feelings they want to share publicly. You’ll hear why she finds it tiring as part of the introduction and then we’ll bring Michael back so we can talk dick pics. Michael is understandably shook that this is the FIRST he’s hearing about a dick pic that apparently arrived in Em’s possession 4 DAYS EARLIER! Once that’s been worked through, we get to the meat of the problem. Well actually, we first have to talk about all the hairdo’s being rocked on the Grand Final footy field, because of course we do. Obviously I’m not about to ruin any of the chat about the rogue wang picture turning up in Em’s DM’s, but it was a moral quandary that Em AND her two daughters had to work through together. Somehow that then leads to chat about a Italian hand painted ceramic leopard statue that is charging stupid money in order to own it. Em wanted it so much that she took up gambling in an attempt to secure it so she could add it to her interior decor collection. You’ll find out if she was successful or if her gambling adventure ended in broken dreams that didn’t include ceramic hand painted realness being added to her menagerie within. Look at us with all our hooking and teasing and not revealing what's going on within the podcast in fine details. Then it’s onto something that apparently ISN’T small and shaped like a toadstool. This time around I will reveal that we did say this episode was a bit dick heavy and this is the second reference to peen. Sadly it relates to the news that the first of Trump's former White House staff have begun releasing their tell all books. Yep, we know, vomit, but we promise you’ll also get confirmation that a LOT of what Em and Michael thought Melania might be up to, was actually happening, plus learn some of the nicknames White House staff had for certain members of Trump's family. Finally it's onto the big dick energy (or BDE as it’s more commonly referred to) that seems to ooze from every pore of American rapper, singer and songwriter, Lil Nas X. Em and Michael are huge fans of how he works every angle of his social media profile and how he’s able to build his career and success by delivering one groundbreaking event after another. So dive in face first, we promise you won’t get a slap to the face with anything other than sassy comments and much hilarity, plus there’s exciting news to wrap things up that include the words ‘bonus’ and ‘episode’, squeaaal, I’ll say nothing else, get amongst it all NOW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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