Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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Emery, have you ever done a speed run?
Sounds like some gaming shenanigans.
It's definitely some gaming shenanigans. You're going through a level as fast as humanly possible, or sometimes the whole game as fast as humanly possible, a.k.a. it is a speed run. You're not going through all the parts of the game. You are just getting from point A to point B in the fastest, fastest way possible.
Today we're speedrunning Prison Escape Simulator. It is time for our first Donkey Kong Bonanza speedrun. I'm actually a top 100 speedrunner in the Oregon Trail game. I think we have like 15 seconds to get it. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. We're going to do it. We're going to do it. Yes!
So we all know what a speedrun is. That's the theme of this episode. And I guess my question is, who's going to speedrun first? You want to speedrun or should I speedrun?
I think I should speedrun first.
All right, let's go.
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Chapter 2: What is a speedrun and how is it defined?
Are you speaking from personal experience? Did this happen to you as a child? Did anyone find something in your room and say, Ben? Benjamin?
I think my dad found a dime bag underneath the seat of our car once. And he was like, is this grass?
Yes.
And I was like, yes, that's grass.
And you're old enough that he couldn't post on what is it and say, is this grass?
He got an immediate answer from me, which was yes. And we don't say that anymore.
Yep. So I'm going to send you a picture that I found in the what is it subreddit. And I just want you to really I don't want any guesses yet. I just want you to take in the contours of this object.
Okay. I have seen this and I believe I know what it is, but I am so in.
Okay. So refrain from saying anything.
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Chapter 3: What mysterious object was found in a child's room on Reddit?
Yeah.
Someone else said, looks like packaging foam or plastic to keep some sort of item in a box still during transport. I thought that was a pretty genius guess because we've all opened something from a box that like is packaged with a very particular structure to hold the form.
Yeah, especially these days. They're doing amazing things with cardboard these days.
Yeah. Someone said it looks like a like a psoas tool for back pain.
I was going to say, yeah, it looks like a massager in a way, which a lot many sex toys are also also massager like or literally massagers.
Yeah. So then there were the guesses that I feel like started. These were what I would call the gateway guesses sort of got me got me on the road to, oh, seeing it differently. A couple of people pointed out this is 3D printed. Like maybe it's some sort of a 3D printed stand or mount for something.
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Chapter 4: What is the r/whatisit subreddit and how does it work?
Getting warmer.
That's getting warmer. And that ultimately led to the answer, which, Ben, drumroll.
It's something something VR headset holder.
Yes! This is a holder. So the winning comment here, someone says, does he, meaning this person's son, does he have a VR headset? Could be a mount. I 3D printed one for my meta quest and it somewhat looks like that. And then OP posted a picture of the headset in this mount.
Although, OP, I'll say this, that sounds relatively innocuous, but depending on the age of your kid, you might want to check on what they're watching in the VR headset.
So other people commented that too, like this tool isn't a sex toy, but your kid's just watching porn on the VR headset.
Could be. Could be.
So someone responded to this and said, OK, but you still have to confront him, meaning your son. You still have to confront him with it and scream about drugs when he gets home. Yep. And OP said, oh, absolutely. But I also saw an overwhelming wave of people saying something like this particular Redditor saying, I never would have gone snooping in my children's rooms when they were kids ever.
and I damn sure wouldn't have turned to the internet for information on what they might have been doing. Novel idea. Ask your son what it is.
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Chapter 5: What are some guesses about the mysterious object found?
at that right now. I think, like you're pointing out, it becomes clearer when you see an example of something like this that you go, oh, that actually is not helping anyone. That's not making the world a better place in any way. And I just hope we all are looking for
our own sort of forms of resistance or protest or whatever that actually helps bring someone to whatever light we want to bring them towards and not turn them off from whatever it is that we're doing.
It's tricky, though. These kids might be trying to turn people on to the Church of Speed Run. You know what I mean? It's tricky.
I had not thought of that. Thank you for introducing me to that perspective. My mind is open. The Church of Speed Run.
Maybe that'll be the one that rounds out all the digits on your hands. You could go to the Church of Speed Run. What? You said you could count the number of churches you visited.
All right. We can start that.
Can we speed run solving the world's problems?
I'd really like to do that.
There we go. Hey, before we go, Endless Threaders, we have a question for you. Do you use WhatsApp? We want to know about that. We are making an episode about WhatsApp. We've got some great stories from some listeners. We're looking for some more. We want to know if you use it, not just to like chat individuals, but like, Maybe you have a huge wild and crazy family chat group on WhatsApp.
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