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Endless Thread

The Church of Speedrun!

29 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.655 - 23.335 Unknown

Support for Endless Thread comes from MathWorks, creator of MATLAB and Simulink software, to design and develop engineered systems, accelerating the pace of discovery in engineering and science. Learn more at mathworks.com. Support for this podcast comes from Is Business Broken?, a podcast from the Marotra Institute at BU Questrom School of Business.

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23.796 - 40.281 Unknown

A recent episode explores the challenges and opportunities in decarbonizing one of the world's most carbon-intensive industries, ocean freight shipping. Stick around until the end of this podcast to preview the episode. WBUR Podcasts, Boston.

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46.167 - 47.809 Ben Brock Johnson

Emery, have you ever done a speed run?

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48.389 - 50.512 Amory Severson

Sounds like some gaming shenanigans.

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50.892 - 72.175 Ben Brock Johnson

It's definitely some gaming shenanigans. You're going through a level as fast as humanly possible, or sometimes the whole game as fast as humanly possible, a.k.a. it is a speed run. You're not going through all the parts of the game. You are just getting from point A to point B in the fastest, fastest way possible.

72.155 - 86.789 Unknown

Today we're speedrunning Prison Escape Simulator. It is time for our first Donkey Kong Bonanza speedrun. I'm actually a top 100 speedrunner in the Oregon Trail game. I think we have like 15 seconds to get it. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. We're going to do it. We're going to do it. Yes!

90.432 - 101.082 Ben Brock Johnson

So we all know what a speedrun is. That's the theme of this episode. And I guess my question is, who's going to speedrun first? You want to speedrun or should I speedrun?

102.04 - 103.562 Amory Severson

I think I should speedrun first.

107.727 - 108.508 Ben Brock Johnson

All right, let's go.

Chapter 2: What is a speedrun and how is it defined?

194.285 - 203.358 Amory Severson

Are you speaking from personal experience? Did this happen to you as a child? Did anyone find something in your room and say, Ben? Benjamin?

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203.978 - 212.451 Ben Brock Johnson

I think my dad found a dime bag underneath the seat of our car once. And he was like, is this grass?

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213.787 - 216.57 Ben Brock Johnson

And I was like, yes, that's grass.

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216.59 - 221.095 Amory Severson

And you're old enough that he couldn't post on what is it and say, is this grass?

221.175 - 226.942 Ben Brock Johnson

He got an immediate answer from me, which was yes. And we don't say that anymore.

227.863 - 243 Amory Severson

Yep. So I'm going to send you a picture that I found in the what is it subreddit. And I just want you to really I don't want any guesses yet. I just want you to take in the contours of this object.

243.132 - 247.54 Ben Brock Johnson

Okay. I have seen this and I believe I know what it is, but I am so in.

247.941 - 250.706 Amory Severson

Okay. So refrain from saying anything.

Chapter 3: What mysterious object was found in a child's room on Reddit?

376.269 - 376.87 Ben Brock Johnson

Yeah.

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376.85 - 395.095 Amory Severson

Someone else said, looks like packaging foam or plastic to keep some sort of item in a box still during transport. I thought that was a pretty genius guess because we've all opened something from a box that like is packaged with a very particular structure to hold the form.

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395.155 - 399.381 Ben Brock Johnson

Yeah, especially these days. They're doing amazing things with cardboard these days.

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399.682 - 403.966 Amory Severson

Yeah. Someone said it looks like a like a psoas tool for back pain.

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403.986 - 413.614 Ben Brock Johnson

I was going to say, yeah, it looks like a massager in a way, which a lot many sex toys are also also massager like or literally massagers.

413.855 - 434.477 Amory Severson

Yeah. So then there were the guesses that I feel like started. These were what I would call the gateway guesses sort of got me got me on the road to, oh, seeing it differently. A couple of people pointed out this is 3D printed. Like maybe it's some sort of a 3D printed stand or mount for something.

Chapter 4: What is the r/whatisit subreddit and how does it work?

436.399 - 436.98 Ben Brock Johnson

Getting warmer.

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437.261 - 442.989 Amory Severson

That's getting warmer. And that ultimately led to the answer, which, Ben, drumroll.

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446.294 - 449.078 Ben Brock Johnson

It's something something VR headset holder.

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449.615 - 472.095 Amory Severson

Yes! This is a holder. So the winning comment here, someone says, does he, meaning this person's son, does he have a VR headset? Could be a mount. I 3D printed one for my meta quest and it somewhat looks like that. And then OP posted a picture of the headset in this mount.

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472.21 - 482.738 Ben Brock Johnson

Although, OP, I'll say this, that sounds relatively innocuous, but depending on the age of your kid, you might want to check on what they're watching in the VR headset.

482.758 - 488.413 Amory Severson

So other people commented that too, like this tool isn't a sex toy, but your kid's just watching porn on the VR headset.

488.393 - 490.717 Ben Brock Johnson

Could be. Could be.

491.098 - 511.954 Amory Severson

So someone responded to this and said, OK, but you still have to confront him, meaning your son. You still have to confront him with it and scream about drugs when he gets home. Yep. And OP said, oh, absolutely. But I also saw an overwhelming wave of people saying something like this particular Redditor saying, I never would have gone snooping in my children's rooms when they were kids ever.

511.934 - 518.535 Amory Severson

and I damn sure wouldn't have turned to the internet for information on what they might have been doing. Novel idea. Ask your son what it is.

Chapter 5: What are some guesses about the mysterious object found?

1440.076 - 1463.164 Amory Severson

at that right now. I think, like you're pointing out, it becomes clearer when you see an example of something like this that you go, oh, that actually is not helping anyone. That's not making the world a better place in any way. And I just hope we all are looking for

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1464.393 - 1480.356 Amory Severson

our own sort of forms of resistance or protest or whatever that actually helps bring someone to whatever light we want to bring them towards and not turn them off from whatever it is that we're doing.

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1480.757 - 1488.628 Ben Brock Johnson

It's tricky, though. These kids might be trying to turn people on to the Church of Speed Run. You know what I mean? It's tricky.

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1488.608 - 1499.721 Amory Severson

I had not thought of that. Thank you for introducing me to that perspective. My mind is open. The Church of Speed Run.

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1499.781 - 1510.353 Ben Brock Johnson

Maybe that'll be the one that rounds out all the digits on your hands. You could go to the Church of Speed Run. What? You said you could count the number of churches you visited.

1510.453 - 1516.54 Amory Severson

All right. We can start that.

1521.211 - 1523.454 Ben Brock Johnson

Can we speed run solving the world's problems?

1523.534 - 1525.196 Amory Severson

I'd really like to do that.

1525.216 - 1553.59 Ben Brock Johnson

There we go. Hey, before we go, Endless Threaders, we have a question for you. Do you use WhatsApp? We want to know about that. We are making an episode about WhatsApp. We've got some great stories from some listeners. We're looking for some more. We want to know if you use it, not just to like chat individuals, but like, Maybe you have a huge wild and crazy family chat group on WhatsApp.

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