Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
Escaping the Drift - The Weekly Drop: Cultivating Success Through Self-Assurance
Thu, 14 Nov 2024
Years ago, I watched as a team member struggled to find their footing, paralyzed by the fear of rejection. It was a moment that truly resonated with me, echoing the stories of legends like Michael Jordan and J.K. Rowling—individuals who turned failure into stepping stones toward greatness. This episode of Escaping the Drift is dedicated to unraveling the complex relationship between confidence and success. We explore how rejection, often perceived as a barrier, can be reframed as a positive force driving us toward our goals. With anecdotes and practical insights, we dive into the subtle power of body language and posture in boosting self-assurance and attracting opportunity. Moving forward, the discussion shifts to the importance of setting purposeful goals and embracing tough decisions to foster personal and professional growth. Reflecting on my own journey, from launching a book to overcoming imposter syndrome on the path to becoming a world-class speaker, I share the valuable lessons learned along the way. By focusing on our accomplishments, we can validate our presence and potential. Through a personal story about encouraging my son, we touch on how self-belief shapes our narrative and influences our path. Join us as we explore these themes and invite you to be an active participant in crafting your own success story. Don't forget to visit our website, escapingthedrift.com, for more insights and to support the podcast with a review or by sharing it with others. 💬 Did you enjoy this weekly drop? Tell us all about it in the comment section below! ☑️ If you liked this video, consider subscribing to Escaping The Drift with John Gafford ************* 💯 About John Gafford: After appearing on NBC's "The Apprentice", John relocated to the Las Vegas Valley and founded several successful companies in the real estate space. ➡️ The Gafford Group at Simply Vegas, top 1% of all REALTORS nationwide in terms of production. Simply Vegas, a 500 agent brokerage with billions in annual sales Clear Title, a 7-figure full-service title and escrow company. ➡️ Streamline Home Loans - An independent mortgage bank with more than 100 loan officers. The Simply Group, A national expansion vehicle partnering with large brokers across the country to vertically integrate their real estate brokerages. ************* ✅ Follow John Gafford on social media: Instagram ▶️ / thejohngafford Facebook ▶️ / gafford2 🎧 Stream the new Weekly Drop here: Listen On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7cWN80gtZ4m4wl3DqQoJmK?si=2d60fd72329d44a9 Listen On Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/escaping-the-drift-with-john-gafford/id1582927283 ************* #weeklydrop #johngafford #confidence #success #rejection #bodylanguage #posture #goals #impostersyndrome #selfbelief #personalgrowth #professionalgrowth #podcast #support #review #sharing #michaeljordan #jkrowling #booklaunch #worldclassspeaker #accomplishments #potential #activeparticipant #crafting #narrative #influences #path #buildingconfidence
Chapter 1: What is the focus of this week's episode?
From the podcast that gets you from where you are to where you wanna be, escaping the drift, this is The Weekly Drop with Jon Gafford. No matter what platform you're watching or listening to us on, make sure you like, subscribe, and comment. And now, The Drop. Back again for another quick, man, little weekly drop. Just me on my solo pod here.
Chapter 2: Why is confidence crucial for success?
From the podcast that gets you from where you are to where you wanna be. And this week, we're gonna talk about confidence. Because it is, in my opinion, the most important thing when it comes to success. Yesterday I was sitting in my office and my office is adjacent to where my real estate team is. And I can hear the people that work for me and they're on the phone.
And I've got some absolute savages on the phone. I mean, they are just, these guys are really, really talented at communicating very quickly why the clients that choose to work with us and our team are will have the best probable aspect or the best outcome they could have in purchasing or buying investment properties or their own property for that matter, or selling a property.
They're very good at articulating that to our clients. And yesterday I was sitting in my office and I was listening to a call, as I tend to, because they're right there, so I can kind of hear what's going on. And the call that I heard, quite frankly, was just dreadful. And what it was lacking, and this is somebody that had been with me for like a year, and what it was lacking 100% was confidence.
And the reason it was lacking confidence is this is a person, probably has been struggling a little bit lately, kind of got in the wrong groove, and we're trying to refocus him and get him moving again. But it got me thinking how important confidence is to success, not just in business, but in life and everything that you do.
And if you're somebody out there that is lacking confidence, you're probably going to have a problem. This is something that I have probably been accused in my life of having too much of sometimes. So I probably can speak from a place of expertise on this stuff. So the first thing that I'm going to say is,
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Chapter 3: How can rejection fuel personal growth?
That mindset of confidence can be shaken so easily, not just in sales, but in life, in dating, in everything, in every aspect of life. The thing that shakes confidence more than anything else is going to be rejection. It's when you get rejected. And you look at, you know, there's millions of stories you can recap. Michael Jordan got cut from his basketball team, his high school basketball team.
J.K. Rowling got turned on by 12 people before she finally published Harry Potter. I All of that stuff is great. But the difference becomes in the lesson from all that is learning how to turn those negatives and that rejection into fuel instead of baggage.
And one of the things that I teach to all salespeople, and I think you could probably apply this to all walks of life of whatever it is, is to value the no. I mean, I don't know how you could do it with dating because I don't know what the no, I don't know what the yes would be or the value of it, but...
If you're in any type of a situation where you have to sell something or make a bunch of calls and you result in the end with a sale, and there's a certain number of calls or touches or whatever it is that you have to make before you get a sale. And the problem is, especially if you're using the phone for that type of sales, is there's a lot of serious negativity.
Chapter 4: What strategies can help reframe rejection?
When you call people, they're like, you know, suck it, you know, F you, whatever, and they're hanging up on you. And that can start to wear on you. But you've got to do two things. And the first thing I'm going to say is you've got to reframe that in a way where you've got to understand that, especially if you're making calls, they're not hanging up on you. They don't know you.
They don't know you're a good parent. They don't know you're a great spouse. They don't know you're a hilarious person to go out with. You're just somebody that interrupted them with a phone call. So if they're hanging up on you, they're not hanging up on you. They're hanging up on the phone call. So first of all, reframe it that way.
But the most important thing to me that you have to do is you have to value the no. And what I mean by that is this. Let's say that you've gotta make 100 phone calls before you get a yes to whatever you're selling. So that means you make, you get 99 nos, and we'll call, we'll say you gotta make 101 calls. So you have one call that says yes and 100 that say no.
Now let's say that when somebody does say yes, you make $1,000. So that means that every single person that told you no, you made 10 bucks. So if I told you that your job was to call people and have them curse at you and hang up on you, and every time it happened, you made $10, would that change the way that you looked at that negative rejection? Absolutely, you would.
Chapter 5: How does body language influence perception?
So having that mindset, and there's a book actually called Mindset that I like by Carol Dweck that talks about developing a growth mindset by looking for rejection and seeking it out as a challenge rather than as a failure. And I think if you can value the know, you can do that.
You know, the second thing that I see, and I see this a lot in my son, which is the world will give back to you what you give out to the world. So body language is so crucial, so important in what you do and how you carry yourself. If there is one thing that I would say that... we correct or try to help my son with as often as possible, it's his posture.
It's always sit up straight, shoulders back, always that, always that. I hate when he hunches, because if you walk around all hunched over, dude, the world is gonna give you back the energy that you're putting out. And I tell people this all the time. If you wanna change, how the world perceives you. Do this one exercise for a week. Do this one thing, which is walk around.
Imagine there's an imaginary string tied to the middle of your chest, pulling upward, not forward, but upward. So you have your chest out, your shoulders back, and carry yourself like that for a week, and see how much different the world actually perceives you. Now don't believe me, there's a book called Cuddy's Presence,
And it's by a girl named Amy Cuddy who had a terrible car crash, a terrible wreck, a terrible early in her 20s. And she was convinced because of that that she was never, you know, it impaired her to a certain amount. She was convinced herself that she was never going to finish college. She was never going to amount to anything. So she just began doing one thing.
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Chapter 6: What is power posing and how does it work?
which was developed this concept of what she called power posing, which is everywhere she was when she would prop herself up in a certain way, she would make herself look as powerful as possible. And the way that the world reacted to her, because of that, the energy that she was putting out, not only finishing college, but becoming a best-selling author and becoming a TED speaker.
And it was all about how she presented herself to the world. So if you're having a problem with confidence, A very simple thing you can do is change your physiology to change your psychology. It's very simple to do. You know, when I think about, my favorite thing I think about is the lobsters, man.
If you've ever heard the lobster story, the lobster story is, there's actually a hierarchy within lobsters that some of them that carry themselves meeker, if they carry themselves meek, they actually die and get sicker quicker. They've done studies on this, probably funded by the government, so Elon's gonna kill any future lobster studies, I'm sure.
But they've done studies that the ones that carry themselves meeker, they actually die faster because, because they look meek, they're fearful that they'll constantly be attacked. And that stress on their internal systems of the fear of being attacked because they carry themselves in a meager stance, the stronger ones do start to pick on them and they die earlier.
So there's evolutionary truth in how you carry yourself. The world absolutely will reply to it. Now, I love that people talk about a good way to establish confidence. And you hear this all the time. As I say, fake it till you make it. Fake it till you make it. Just fake it. Just act like you have everything. Just act like this. Listen, I am not a fake it till you make it guy. That's not who I am.
I am a... replicate, not imitate guy. And what I mean by that is, I think if you want to get somewhere in life, if you want to get anything, studying those that have already gotten there before you, studying those that have reached that place or gotten there, I think that just makes sense. I think emulating what they do Makes a lot of sense.
But you don't want to fake it because people can smell non-authenticity on you. I think authenticity is, I don't know if it's still the buzzword for like five years. Everything had to be authentic. It was like that was the buzzword. But I think it's true. People can smell when you're being inauthentic, if you're being fake.
However, if you are carrying yourself the way that you like, you see somebody where you want to be and you carry yourself that certain way. If you are doing certain things that certain way, then there's nothing wrong with that. For example, there's some changes that I've decided to make in what I do for the upcoming year based on some goals that I have.
And I've looked at some things that I do and I ask myself, okay, like here are these people that are where I wanna go within a certain thing that I wanna do, right? I have the book coming out in the not too distant future. I plan on touring the book. I plan on stages. I plan on all of those things.
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