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Chapter 1: What are the basic principles of self-defense according to the CIA?
Is there anything that you could distill, you know, that's like, all right, these are the basic principles. If of the four responses, fight is the response that is necessary or the best response or the instinctual response that you have?
So it's so interesting what you're bringing up because I understand, and I understand that most people in society probably view it as like, you know, if you're the protector of the house, if you're the masculine energy, if you're the man, then you want to put yourself between the threat and whatever you're trying to protect.
The actual defensive tactics terminology for that, it's a psychological label that we use. There's three types of instincts. There's a maternal instinct, and that's generally seen as the instinct to protect your loved ones by putting yourself between the threat and your loved ones. That's a maternal instinct. Then there's an individual instinct.
The individual instinct is your instinct to keep yourself safe, whether you have loved ones or not. It's when, in the movies, in the comedy movies, when somebody jumps behind their wife, right? That's your individual instinct. It's trying to keep yourself alive. And then there's something called a paternal instinct.
The paternal instinct is not an instinct to stand in front of the threat and protect your loved ones or protect yourself. The paternal instinct is actually to attack the threat, right? It's the natural instinct that we have to recognize that the threat is not just gonna go away.
That the best way to combat the threat is with force to actually attack the threat because that will not only keep your loved ones safe, but it will keep other loved ones safe as well. And when people are born with a paternal instinct, they don't even really think about keeping themselves safe or they naturally understand that attacking the threat is how they're gonna keep themselves safe.
Because if we run right now, If we escape out the back door, what's to keep the threat from coming to the back door and still trying to shoot us? What's to keep the threat from chasing us? If we get in our car and drive away, what's to keep the threat from getting in a car and chasing us? That paternal instinct understands we have to neutralize the threat.
When CIA and DOD did military studies, combative studies to see which of these instincts was better, paternal instinct won out significantly, almost four to one, where when the threat was actively attacked by an individual with a paternal instinct,
Whether that's a grenade that gets thrown on the ground and somebody throws themselves on the grenade or runs towards a grenade, picks it up and throws it back. Or whether it has to do with an actual home invasion. When somebody comes into a home and they try to attack the family, they try to steal.
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Chapter 2: What are the different types of instincts related to protection?
It doesn't even have to do with whether you've got experience in jujitsu or the martial arts. Biomechanical advantage is the simple act of understanding that the human body is a mechanical creation. arms only go one way, necks only go one way. And if you put pressure on a joint in the opposite direction, it creates pain, it creates tension, it creates a limitation of movement.
So when we are taught how to defend ourselves, we're taught through a lens of biomechanical advantage. It's as a, if I'm to continue kind of with my ramble, the simplest example I can think of is when somebody grabs your hair. Every woman with long hair,
One of the secret fears that we don't ever admit, women and men alike, one of the secret fears that we never admit is what if somebody grabs my hair? What if they grab my hair? How do I get out of that? How do I protect myself from that?
The reason that people are so afraid of a hair grab, women specifically, are so afraid of a hair grab is because they understand intrinsically that if somebody grabs your hair, they control your neck. The saying is, wherever the head goes, the body goes, right? The control over the neck is a very dangerous place. Your air flows through your neck. Blood of your brain flows through your neck.
Your nerve endings flow through your neck. Your spinal column is most easily reached through the neck. If you haven't discovered your natural-born spy skills, then somebody else might be using theirs against you. CIA teaches us that there are only three types of people in the world. Those who motivate, those who manipulate, and those who are being controlled by one of the other two.
I created a three-minute CIA-style quiz to help you unlock your secret psychological advantage and identify your hidden blind spot. This test was developed to help you weaponize your natural-born gifts and use them to get ahead of 99% of people in power, wealth, and purpose. It was also designed to make sure that you can protect yourself against those who would use their skills against you.
All you have to do is click on the first link in the description below or scan the QR code on your screen to start your spy quiz now. I want you to discover your secret spy superpower and use it for good before somebody else uses their power against you. So if somebody grabs your hair, they control your neck. If they control your neck and your head, they can do anything they want with you.
They can throw you down. They can break your neck.
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Chapter 3: How does the paternal instinct differ from maternal and individual instincts?
They can do all sorts of terrible things. So we're taught that if someone grabs your hair, the first thing you do is you grab the hand that grabbed your hair and you push that hand against your scalp. what happens is that your head and their hand become one molded device. And now you just regained control of your own head because you're holding their hand on your head.
And as they try to move your head, you have more biomechanical advantage to fight back. That change of control creates all sorts of secondary opportunities for now you to hold their hand in place while you wail on their face, wail on their on their sensitive areas, whether it's a groin or whether it's a sternum or whether it's their throat.
You get a chance to fight back against your attacker because you've controlled the head.
Yeah, I mean, I'm friends with Tim Kennedy, and obviously he's come under some sharp criticism for not honestly telling the stories of his own time in service. And that's an unfortunate thing. I haven't talked to Tim about it specifically, but...
One thing about what he's been doing, which I really appreciate, is he has this whole program called Sheepdog Training, where it's about situational awareness and it's about preparing yourself. And it really feels like if there is a high likelihood we're heading into a more dangerous situation, we have to train ourselves.
That paternal instinct, we have to train that situational awareness, we have to train, you know, some just some basics doesn't mean you have to be the highest level operator, but we all have to raise our base level of proficiency to another level to help not only keep ourselves safe, but to help keep society safe as a whole.
Yeah, we created a course called Operational Defense. We created a digital version of it called OpDef Plus, like Disney Plus with the little plus sign, specifically because people have been asking for this type of training. They want to understand what's the fastest, simplest way to train to defend yourself.
So we created a digital version of what CIA taught us with our operational defensive tactics. Nice. And people can find that if they look up Op Def Plus. We'll make sure that you get a link so we can put it in the description. And is that all found through Everyday Spy? All found through Everyday Spy.
And it's our way of trying to fill the gap because for many, many, for many people, they have spent years, decades focused on growing their financial security but not growing their personal security. And now we're at a place where our personal security is being threatened in unprecedented ways.
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Chapter 4: What does the CIA research say about the effectiveness of paternal instinct in combat?
We educate and we expect that we're ready for the experience. And then when the experience presents itself, we oftentimes don't recall what we were educated in because we never exercised it. Right. Right. So as people hear this conversation, I would encourage you to immediately start exercising how you park in the parking lot. Immediately start exercising.
Find someone to grab your hair right now. Go to your spouse, go to your daughter and be like, let's do a real quick exercise. I'm going to grab your hair. I'm just going to pull your head gently. And I want you to see what that feels like. And then I want you to hold my hand on your head and I want to do it again. And it's night and day.
When you see these things work, they're unforgettable, right? When you, when you build a practice of sitting in the right place in a restaurant, when you build the practice of even assessing your,
vectors of attack in a restaurant where are the windows i would challenge anybody right now think of your favorite restaurant the place where you eat the most often can you picture all four walls do you know where the street is in comparison to those four walls do you know where the windows are how elevated are you either above the street or are you are your windows actually at street level
what are the entrances and exits to those restaurants here's a hint almost every kitchen has its own dedicated exit so if you count the hidden kitchen exit that you don't know is there where are the other exits think about that work through that and what you're going to find is that there are lots of restaurants out there chick-fil-a being one that people use all the time
Two out of four walls are almost always lined with windows and they are always street side because the restaurant is built to be easily accessed by vehicles. So that's just a simple example of how we want people to think. And as you build up your education and your exercise and your experience, you'll start to experience that you have the skills that you've exercised.
And once you see your paternal instinct, it's incredibly comforting to know that it's there. Because if what you see is individual instinct, you can't unforget, like you can't unremember the fact that you jumped behind your girlfriend when that piece of glass fell off the truck and you thought it was a gunshot.
You know, I have one instance, you know, In my life, I questioned, because I'd never gotten in a street fight. I'd never been presented with a situation where the paternal instinct would happen. I mean, small little situations where, you know, I saw somebody bullying somebody and I stood up. But it wasn't really scary. You know, so I had this question, like, do I have that in me?
You know, like, do I have it in me? And I was training MMA and I was trying to, and I was going to go enter a fight because I didn't. this wasn't happening to me in real life. So I needed to know that about myself. I didn't fully have the same kind of self-respect for myself that I needed.
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Chapter 5: How can one increase their personal security in dangerous situations?
So I had to fight two people. I got a concussion, but I managed to do all right. And, you know, but ultimately, while that was a intense and like kind of traumatic and happened so fucking fast.
Yeah.
When that was finished, there was a deep peace that I had, like a deep peace that I had, like, oh, wow. When there was no shot and there was no, you know, and there was, there was not me thinking about what I would do, what instincts were present. And I got to know that about myself. And that's been something that, that rests deep in the foundation of my psyche. Like, okay.
And it's like, it's, you know, obviously I don't wish any situation like that to happen. It was an incredibly dangerous situation. It caused damage and, you know, she was bleeding. I was bleeding. I had a concussion. It's a fucking nightmare. However, you know, it was a great gift and it was a great gift to know.
And, and I, and I think, you know, not all of us are going to get the gift to know how we'll respond, but there will be other, you know, There may be, and there may be times, and maybe you've had that and you've, you failed that test. That's okay.
Forgive yourself, you know, like remember that and like, and actually go through the exercises and the mental preparation and say like, next time I'm going to, I'm going to act differently.
It's such a powerful story, man. It's such a powerful story. And, and, and the one kind of. point that I wanna sharpen is less that it's a pass fail criteria and more that it's a self-awareness criteria. Just like you became aware of the need for situational awareness and you became aware of the threat as time went on.
And then you became aware of your response time when the threat became acute, right? Like there's a lot of awareness that gets learned there. And I think that awareness is part of what also drove your sense of peace.
i i am aware that my natural response is maternal and it's always been a problem for me it was a problem for me in cia training it was a problem for me in military training and it's it is my natural response i have a maternal instinct just three months ago i was at my friend's house with my kids and my dog my dog just under a year old and my dog is off-leash trained So we go to leave the house.
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Chapter 6: What is biomechanical advantage in self-defense techniques?
One of those German shepherds see my dog jump out. That German shepherd takes off. Lady's not strong enough to hold onto the leash. So she loses the leash. The dog comes snarling at my dog, big teeth, big German shepherd. And my dog is like, what is this threat that's coming out of nowhere? So my dog does a quick turnaround and just tries to run around to stay away from the German shepherd.
I move towards my dog. pull my dog underneath my legs and stand between my dog and the snarling German shepherd. 100%, the wrong thing to do. Mm-hmm. Luckily, the German shepherd could tell the difference between a person and a dog. And it didn't snap or bite at me. It had snapped and bit my dog's tail. So my dog's tail was bleeding. It had torn part of the skin off the tail.
But it wasn't coming after me. And the lady came over and she apologized about her dog and blah, blah, blah. And I just wanted her away. Again, maternal instinct. Just go away. Just take the threat away. The thing I'm trying to protect is safe. And then I take my dog and do all the stuff that you're supposed to do when you get your dog bit. Even that was just a few months ago, man.
And I'm still reminded that my instinct is maternal. My instinct is to stand between the threat. I didn't grab a fucking rock or a shovel. I could have grabbed an umbrella. I could have grabbed anything that was right there by the entrance of my friend's house. And I could have wailed the shit out of that German shepherd.
It may not have gone well for me, but that's what a paternal instinct would have done. It wouldn't have hid my dog between my legs and then stood between like a wall. It would have damaged that dog. Grab that dog's leash and wrestle it down to the ground. Who knows what, right?
For anybody who's been attacked by a dog, for anybody who's had a dog attack their animal or their child, they know what their response was. And some people fight back against the dog. Fucking, that's all instinct. I actually have to put work into constantly training a paternal instinct because in my responsiveness, when I was surprised... in an unexpected confrontation, that's what I do.
And the result was actually the perfect result. So it doesn't mean that the paternal instinct always yields the best result or the maternal instinct yields the best result. In many situations in the aggregate, paternal actually yields the result more often. But I think that's really vulnerable. And actually, I have so much more admiration for you for sharing that. I appreciate it.
Not only your vulnerability, but also just an exercise in awareness. Be aware of what your natural instincts are. And situations like that allow you, if you self-reflect, all right, what is my instinct here? Like, how do I naturally respond? And I think that's really important.
If you like that video, you're going to love the next one. And I'll see you there. Courage is doing the thing that you're afraid of. That is courage. So going off script and asking a question,
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