Excuse My Grandma
Excuse My Grandma While We Dive Into Love and Matchmaking Ft. Aleeza Ben Shalom
Thu, 30 Jan 2025
In this episode of Excuse My Grandma, Kim and Grandma Gail interview Netflix star, matchmaker, and author Aleeza Ben Shalom. But first, they catch up in Palm Beach: Gail has been brushing up on Bridge and panicking over Wi-Fi outages, while Kim dives into pop culture news. In The Drama Club, Kim fills Grandma in on the Speidi-Alex Cooper-Sofia saga. They then deliver The Grandma Report, reviewing Oscar nominations and giving hot takes on how Hollywood has lost its glamor. Do you agree? In The Rewind, Grandma’s currently bingeing Vera and Murder In on Amazon Prime (now that the TV is back on). For a dose of unrealistic reality, catch up on Kim’s latest obsession– Love Island: All-Stars. Later, Aleeza Ben Shalom joins to discuss her book Matchmaker Matchmaker, her journey as a matchmaker, and how to date in 2025 with traditions of the past. While Aleeza loves a set-up, she tells listeners how to be your own matchmaker while using apps and your network. Like Grandma Gail, the special guest has rules when it comes to finding love, including “Date ‘em till you hate ‘em,” and “No-Touching for 5 Dates.” Aleeza’s latest book, Matchmaker Matchmaker, shares real life client stories + expert tips to use in your own life. To end the episode, Kim, Grandma, and Aleeza answer listener questions about interfaith marriage and missing their cheating ex. The results of Grandma’s Old Fashioned Dating Quiz? Listen to the episode to find out where Aleeza stands! Follow us on Instagram @excusemygrandma TikTok @excusemygrandma Watch on YouTube Spotify Music By: Guy Kelly 00:00 Intro 08:04 The Drama Club 12:48 The Grandma Report 18:27 The Rewind 21:04 Interview
Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?
Welcome back to another episode of Excuse My Grandma. It's Kim and my co-host.
Grandma Gail.
So this week we are going to have an interview with Aliza Ben Shalom from the Jewish Matchmaker. We'll get to that in just a little bit. We recorded it in New York, so we'll toss to that. But in the meantime, grandma, how are you?
I'm good. Everything is good. Busy, busy. A lot of bridge when you weren't here. So I caught on some bridge lessons. Got a little sharper on the game. You know, when you don't play for a month or so, you get rusty.
You weren't playing even when I was here, though.
Yeah, but not as much. Now I took like two lessons a week. And all of a sudden, like any game, you really have to do it or you lose it. So then, of course, I had a trauma this week. Wi-Fi went out in the apartment. Oh, my God. It shows you how incompetent I really am with all these tech stuff. So at 8.30 at night, we had no phones. We had no TV, which was a catastrophe.
I don't know why. the TV is even connected to Wi-Fi.
Well, I think that's the only way in this apartment you get it. So at 9 o'clock, I went to sleep because I was so frustrated. I couldn't even use my iPad to play a game on, to play Bridge or Canasta. So the next day, the nice gentleman from our building came up and he opens up the closet. First, we didn't know where the main. That was the problem.
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Chapter 2: How do Kim and Grandma Gail catch up?
Like I could have unplugged the router and replugged it in. We did it. But we didn't know where it was.
The main center was. We kept unplugging the TV, putting it back. Nothing happened. So the next day he came up at 830. I think I called with an emergency call.
I don't know why you had to do it that early because it woke me up.
I don't care. I couldn't do without my television. I had to have it on. So, I mean, a day without Squawk Box in the morning, it just upsets me. So the man came in, he opened up the hall closet, he said, The plug went out of the Wi-Fi receptacle.
Chapter 3: What is the Grandma Report about?
That's what I thought.
I just didn't know where to look. It was just out. So we found out when you took out the umbrella to go, because the weather has been so dreadful.
I don't actually know, but I figured when I took the umbrella out of the closet, it touched it or something. He plugged it in. We were back alive at 8.35. I know. It is so frustrating when things don't work. I think I hacked into some other Wi-Fi and was able to watch on my laptop, so it wasn't that bad. Say, oh, yeah. You're happy. Yeah.
But I would have been happier on the bigger TV, but it'll do. Okay. But yeah, I feel like the... The apartment, yeah, with the Wi-Fi to the air conditioning, none of us are on the same page.
We have a very old apartment, for those who don't know. So we have an old apartment that has one air conditioning zone. So no matter what bedroom you're in, you can't control it. It comes off a central unit.
Well, we just, like, Poppy likes it much hotter than I do. Yes, than everybody. And you like it hot, too, honestly. Yes, so...
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Chapter 4: What shows is Grandma Gail currently watching?
And you can't regulate it. So it's a very, it's a frustration. And it's something that I realized that this is the only place that I live that has that. Because every other place I have have zones that you can put it on the bedroom or the living room and you can put it, because sometimes, you know, some people like it at 70, some like it at 74.
Well, also, that's even not even that old because a lot of my friends in the city in New York who live in like pre-war, they can't control their own temperature. It's like whatever the building sets it up is what it is. And it gets so hot.
Well, that's what I have.
Chapter 5: What insights does Aleeza Ben Shalom provide on matchmaking?
But you can put the ones in the window that then you choose it. Right, exactly. Which is why my building's a little newer in New York, and it's nice because my bedroom and my living room have it right there. Separate zones. Separate zones. So when I was in New York, I mean, I had a cold, so I was like in my house every day. I didn't do much, but I... I was so excited to control my own thermostat.
You definitely have to stay in New York. You can't live with Papi and I anymore because he's getting colder and colder. But it was unusual this week. First of all, the weather's been really dreadful. It was dreadful in New York because everyone said it's been really sub-zero. We had snow in parts of Florida. There was snow in New Orleans. It's been zero degrees and in the teens in New York.
And we've had which is very unusual for Southern Florida. We've had 40s. So it has not been, the month of January has been unusually cold. And of course, you know about California.
We don't have to deal with that. Comment, obviously, we have on our social media. Kimmy's been great.
She's done lots of stuff.
I mean, I'm trying. It's harder from New York. I mean, obviously, we can all donate on our phones. And there's amazing charities that we were linking on our stories. for all types of gifts, resources. But I also, I don't know if they're doing any more, but I'm sure they are like dropping off any clothes or essential items. Well, that's very important.
There were places to do that in New York where they were sending. And then I know there's a lot in LA. My boyfriend lives in LA and he said everywhere you can drop things off.
The thing I don't understand though, and I know your boyfriend lives there. I don't understand how people are breathing because I remember when you had, when we had the fires a year ago from Canada, which were 500 miles away, they told everybody to stay inside because the amount of things that are, the soot that comes from the fire is really cancer causing.
So they had people staying, older people especially, or anybody, or young children.
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Chapter 6: How can dating apps be used effectively?
Yeah, no, because we didn't really do mass dating. You dated within a group. Well, there also, look, there wasn't social media that existed. So you didn't have the whole world at your feet. You just had your world at your feet, which was who was in your high school, who was in your university, and who was in your social circle. That was it. Outside of that, nothing existed.
We didn't know anybody else. Right, right, that was it.
Chapter 7: What advice does Aleeza give for dating in 2025?
You're talking about a different time. You really can't go back to pre-phones, right? Or that to me is the biggest, the biggest change in our society and also in our dating and in our life. And the problem I have is, is if you look at the, the, the people on the phone, do you give them a second chance if you don't like the way they look?
And sometimes that's the least important thing that you really have in the relationship.
But I'm pretty sure you have a date until you hate them philosophy. Yeah.
Yeah, that's my philosophy, which basically means if it's not a hard no, like a hell no, then it's just a yes for another date. You don't have to marry them. I don't even need you to like them. But you should go out with them again to see if something can be there, if something can grow. First dates are sometimes a disaster.
And sometimes there's chemistry and people are like, yeah, I want that first date where it like happens. And I was like, yeah, but for me, that's a red flag because those really awesome first dates usually are like fireworks, like amazing. And then it's like crash and burn. I know we have like 10 days until it's just like, oh yeah, it didn't work out. And you're like, okay, what's the story?
But I want to feel like that, except I just want it to work out. I was like, but that's just not a normal dating. It doesn't usually happen that way. Anything extreme on either end, like extreme disinterest or extreme interest, is usually a red flag for me. It's somewhere in the middle, like, well, you're somebody I could be friends with.
Well, I like you, but I mean, do I like you like you, right? And then it grows over time. I love when best friends get together because I know that they know how to build a relationship because they've been friends. I think that those things are fabulous. Yeah.
Yeah, it's so interesting because I feel like, and myself included, everyone I talk to is looking for that immediate connection. And I would think that if you have someone where you're like, I like their personality, but do I like like them? You would think that if it's not a hell yes, it's a no, but I don't think that is the case. And so how do you kind of get that into people's head?
So date them till you hate them is one beginning philosophy that starts with that. But what I usually ask is, would you be okay hanging out with them again? Could you see them as a friend? A friend is somebody that you know, that you trust, that to some degree you value. Whether they're similar, different, however they are, but there's a value there.
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Chapter 8: What listener questions are answered at the end?
So there was a show, Indian Matchmaking. You saw it. It's Jewish matchmaking, just Indian matchmaking. I watched it. I was like, oh, my gosh, that's the same thing. And then they said, wow, this is amazing. Let's do a spinoff. We'll do a sister brand and we'll do Jewish matchmaking. So they went on a hunt for a Jewish matchmaker and I started interviewing.
And that was in like summer or fall of 2020. And then by 2021, they're like, OK, we're really going to do it. And by 2022, we started filming and then it released in 2023.
Now, how many matches on the show really became matches? I watched a little bit of it, the first few ones, and I laughed. I mean, I was thinking to myself, this is wonderful. But did some of them really end up happily matched?
So everybody made an effort, and I told them, not just on camera. You must commit to me that you're going to go out off camera, too. Right. And they were amazing. They did. They didn't develop into a long term relationship. But everybody to me, everybody made a sincere effort. Right. And then when you see somebody off camera, it's very different than on camera. Oh, yeah.
And there's somebody from the show that is I'm not saying which person, but who I matched after the show. OK. And they just got married.
Oh, that's so cool.
Yeah. But you don't get to show it on the show. But I was so happy. And neither of them, you know, wanted to make a big deal out of it. But it was such a blessing. I was like, wow. And I would have never known them had it not been for the show because we got, you know, interconnected. Right. It was amazing.
Did the matchmaking process change being on camera? Or do you think that even the dates went differently because they were being filmed?
You know, at first people are a little uncomfortable. Like, imagine you guys start talking on mics, you know, your first few episodes. Okay. After a while, you're just sitting there having a conversation. Yeah, I mean, there happens to be a microphone there. Sometimes you say something, you're like, oh, my gosh, wait, that's being recorded.
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