Family Flowers Only with Marian Hastings
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How did Marian and James meet and build their family life in Kinvara?
Hey, everybody. Welcome back. I am in studio this week with Marian Hastings. Hi, Marian. Hi. You're very welcome. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Lovely to meet you in person because you used to do my online workouts. That's right. You've ruined a few songs for me. One being Flower by Moby, no doubt. Yeah. Sally. Do you know the other one? Roxanne.
Yes, you've absolutely ruined Roxanne for me.
Yeah.
so for anyone who doesn't know I in a former life was I kind of let the title go a personal trainer and I used to have a great crew of people all during lockdown we used to do the online classes at 6am yeah Those days are well gone now. I don't be up at six o'clock now, I'll tell you. And anyway, I used to do all sorts of games, workout games with songs and I ruined those songs for people.
Totally. Burpees, I'm traumatised still. Even hearing your voice, I'm shuddering. Terrified you're going to make me jump up on the table.
Yeah, gas. So funny. So but it's it's so cool to meet people that have done it like I've met a few over the years, but also quite sad because I do remember you dropping me a text one day and telling me that life had changed a lot for you. So we will get into that in a little while. And today we're going to talk about your husband, James. So could you maybe bring me back to when you first met him?
Sure. Well, I was 16 and we used to get the bus from Kinvara down to Listunvarna. Wow. To go to the nightclub there at the Hydro Hotel. It was just we lived for the Saturday nights we'd go down there. It was absolutely brilliant. And I met James there one night and we just were all about each other. I'm sure we were having deep political conversations or something like that, you know. And we just were absolutely mad about each other straight away. Enlist to Inverna you meant? Enlist to Inverna.
The matchmaking capital of the world.
Of the world, exactly, but not during the festival. And we both were from Kinvara and we had a kind of similar upbringing in that we both moved from the UK when we were, I was seven, he was eight. Oh, wow. So we had kind of the same experience of moving into somewhere new. Yeah. And having a funny accent. Okay. Yeah. And we both lost it eventually, but there are bits of... Yeah. And he'd have a little bit of a Yorkshire twang, which I used to take the mick out of as well.
It's funny, I can just hear it now, but I didn't before. Yeah, now that I've said it. Yeah. So you were both from Kinvara, but hadn't seen each other before you met in the nightclub, really?
We would have known each other's families, I think. Like James's dad was a fantastic mechanic and he did all, everybody's cars around. So they're kind of, both families have been known to each other, but I didn't know him at all. Okay. Yeah. So tell me, you start dating straight away? Yeah, we're all about each other, all the long phone calls. God knows what we were talking about. We used to meet up and just go for walks around the town because he was 19 and he was old enough to go into the pubs, but I wasn't. So I was nearly 17. And I remember then when it was my 17th birthday, he gave me a necklace of a little dolphin. And it was he told me that he just found it in his house. And I thought, OK, that's a bit weird, but thanks.
It's nice. I didn't love it, actually, but I was like, oh, that's cute. And then he told me months later that he had actually bought it. He was just too embarrassed to to tell me in the beginning, which is so sweet. Oh, yeah.
What were the first signs and hospital tests that led to James’s cancer diagnosis?
He's so cute.
What a loser. Did you slag him relentlessly over that? Relentlessly. For years. Yeah, that was our love language was slagging really. Yeah, it was always Atom, the poor fella. His nickname was Dynamo and he was just such, that was the most appropriate nickname ever. He was always on the move, always doing something. He threw himself into everything full speed ahead. Yeah. So when did you get married? We got married in 2015. So we had Owen actually, our firstborn. Probably would have had him maybe a couple of years earlier than we planned.
Yeah.
But delighted with him.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
How did Marian and James meet and build their family life in Kinvara?
0:00–3:08
2
What were the first signs and hospital tests that led to James’s cancer diagnosis?
3:08–31:14
3
How did the family discover James had cholangiocarcinoma and find treatment options?
31:14–42:05
4
How did radiotherapy and stents affect James’s symptoms and treatment hopes?
42:05–46:54
5
What made the hospice feel like a ‘home’ and how did it support the family?
46:54–54:34
6
How did Marian prepare the children for James’s passing and how did they cope?
54:34–1:00:15
7
What community and legacy responses followed James’s death (funeral, support groups, hospice impact)?
1:00:15–1:33:17