F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast

Episode 375 - Dragon Pouch

29 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I honestly can't remember what Dragon Pouch means or how we got there and I'm holidays, so you can't make me figure it out.

Blue Balls Are a Liberal Hoax

22 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Studies have been done by all the top science research places: blue balls are an entirely made up thing.  Don't try to argue with us, argue with SCIE...

Pull Her Head Off (Sub-Zero Style)

15 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Dain's New Year's Resolution is to stop suggesting that performing Mortal Kombat fatalities is a solution to your problems.  Topics include dude, whe...

The "What Do You Mean?" Theory

08 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's time to throw the "Let Them" Theory into the trash where it belongs and start taking life, and your relationships, by the reins with a very simpl...

My $1200 First Date

01 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you're not going to drop at least $1.2 MILLION dollars on me PER DATE, I'm going to doubt your commitment.  Topics include how to hunt down your s...

Fart Promises

24 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week's episode is a little shorter than usual due to technical difficulties and Dain being bad at math.  Topics include missing the giant hint, ...

Mr. Beast's Guillotine Games

17 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's time once again to beg at the Altar of Beast in order to be thrown just enough scraps to continue our meager existence.  Topics include a beastl...

Baby Butthole Boy

10 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Mess with the bull and you'll get the horns especially if you're a big city woman who's too focused on her career to find love.  Topics include post ...

The Worst Mr. Big

03 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

You know that feeling when you hear a song and then you make that whole song your personality for awhile?  Maybe be a little more discerning with wha...

Getting the Juices Flowing

27 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Better start wearing a raincoat whenever you see me out in public because when I'm holding a hand... NOBODY IS SAFE.  Topics include how to be myster...

I Hate My Stupid, Secret Son

20 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Don't you hate it when your stupid kid just exists and totally blows up your spot?  Topics include pirate re-population, sex inhibiting breast size, ...

Ziploc Sex Kit

13 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There is nothing sex about a Ziploc bag... UNLESS it's one of those ones with the slidey-closer thing.  Those ones are HOT.  Topics include oral hyg...

From the Vault: Netflix and Chill - My Fault / Culpa Mia

06 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Niall is on vacation this week, so we're digging into the Patreon vaults to treat you to a little movie review of the unhinged teen romance movie My F...

A Walk to Remember Situation

29 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There are a few exceptions to the rule and one of them is always if it's A Walk to Remember situation.  Topics include contractually obligated angry ...

How to Re-Jizz Your Jizz

22 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Lock and load has never been a more gross turn of phrase.  Topics include the clean vs dirty debate, if he wanted to: he would, recording your dates ...

Dr. Goon, Penis MD

15 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Unfortunately, Dr. Goon is all booked up for appointments for the next month.  I can refer you to another Penis MD, if you'd like.  Topics include d...

Bartenders Know You Suck At Dating

08 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week we go off script and give you dating advice based on the grim things we've seen as bartenders and servers.

Tactical Wake Up

01 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

RPG!!!!

Sleepy Time Clit Sucker

25 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you saw me outside your home staring into your windows from the street... no, you didn't.  Topics include a drive-by creeping, an exciting new mas...

The Snapchat Implications

18 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you're concerned about Dain's energy in this episode, just remember he's shirtless.  That should explain everything.  Topics include using Snapch...

Lemme See That Hog, Bestie!

11 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I think we can all agree that we've ALL wanted to see our friend's penis before... right?  Right?  Topics include your friend is undergoing a slutif...

Al-Qaeda's Favourite Music Venue

04 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Everyone knows that oppressive government regimes are huge fans of the local music scene.  Topics include caught with a a less than true Instagram st...

Episode 354 - Spanish on the Streets, English in the Sheets

28 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If anyone needs a dog to rent for their Tinder photoshoot, please contact me.  I have a wide range of available makes and models.  Topics include st...

Episode 353 - Wieners, Bats and Wiimotes

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you ever needed a brainstorming session as to what the worst type of bag a vagina could be, we've got you covered.  Topics include some much neede...

Episode 352 - Never Let an Erection Get in the Way of a Magic Trick

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Well, wrap me up in a carpet and throw away my hundreds of snakes because I refuse to believe any woman doesn't want a vagina full of magic ribbon.  ...

Episode 351 - The Unproblematic Music of Smooth Dave Shelves

07 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Buckle up for Hetero Awesomefest 2, the second lamest musical event of the summer!  Topics include an untrustworthy retelling of Chris Brown's crimes...

Episode 350 - Gay Dracula (Pride Special with Tim Lagman and Trevor Campbell)

30 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We celebrate pride with two of our favourite people live at the Black Sheep!  Trevor Campbell and Tim Lagman join us for a night of advice and laughs...

Episode 349 - Rest in Hell, Peter Steele

23 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Catch this episode before it disappears like the Declaration of Independence or whatever they're to steal in Now You See Me 3D.  Topics include teari...

Episode 348 - COVID Dog Tail Dick

16 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Remember when we were all stuck at home and were so horny that all of our dicks got injured?  Topics include permanent jewelry is ultimate betrayal, ...

Episode 347 - Exorcist Eye Contact

09 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I swear the splatter of suspicious liquids all over my walls, floors and ceilings are just from my cat's medicine!  Topics include the sweetest dirty...

Episode 346 - Troll Time on the Cum-Clock

02 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When I'm reaching the expiry of my cum-clock, I like to play The Final Countdown as loud as possible to really drive the point home.  Topics include ...

Episode 345 - Podcaster Murder Forest

26 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Just try to stump us, we dare you!  Topics include interracial dating techniques, a surprise ejaculation, being the side character in your boyfriends...

Episode 344 - The Stick and Stay Technique

19 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

DOGS DON'T GO TO HEAVEN!  Topics include dating teenagers as an adult, statuesque sex, oopsie poopsie, judgmental friends. Join the Patreon: www.p...

Episode 343 - A Cummings Worth of Piss

12 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we go into great detail that arcane secrets you must comprehend and master in order to pee just enough to make someone think it's jizz...

Episode 342 - Mall Bath

05 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this laser focused episode, we don't go on a single tangent and stay on topic the entire time.  Topics include literal trust falls, no rhythm, the...

Episode 341 - Gooner Dad Fads

28 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

For all you deviant dads out there, be sure to smash that like and subscribe button to keep up to date on all your gooner gags.  Topics include a sus...

Episode 340 - Achilles Reel

21 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Time to crank one out before the season ends, boys.  WE WILL NOT FINISH IN BRONZE.  Topics include a real stinker of a husband, should I stay or sho...

Episode 339 - Mambo #69

14 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The only time cyberbullying is acceptable is against Kevin Sorbo.  Topics include the first love is the strongest, is he just trying to smash, neighb...

Episode 338 - Bedroom Rock Bottom

07 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Put this episode on your Facebook shortcuts because you're going to want to come back to it.  Topics include secret sniffing, breaking her, Facebook'...

Episode 337 - Quiet 5.5, An 8.5 is Talking

31 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you're not blasting this episode in public through a speaker backpack, I don't think you even really care about us.  Topics include he doesn't kno...

Episode 336 - Dinosaurs are a Liberal Hoax

24 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If I can't see, I don't believe it and I ain't NEVER seen a dolphin!  Topics include not quittin' the gym, sharing sex problems publicly, my not so s...

Episode 335 - Dry Me Up, Baby

17 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Hey baby, why don't we go back to my place and I can get you reaaaaal dry.  Topics include the games of young women, a whispered suggestion, fake boo...

Episode 334 - Rolex Madness

10 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Men are throwing themselves into traffic, smashing windows with their faces, tearing out their own hair.  It can only be one thing: ROLEX MADNESS.  ...

Episode 333 - The First Male True Crime Podcast

03 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we laugh so hard we have to stop the show.  Topics include the perfect murder, not holding up your end of the love triangle, preventi...

Episode 332 - Homes or Homo (feat Sex Ed with Tim)

24 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week we're joined by fellow Canadian Podcast Award winning host, Tim Lagman.  Tim brings an assortment of questions from his listeners to the bo...

Episode 331 - Coffee and a Long Blowjob

17 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this week's episode we come across the wildest office coffee order list we've ever seen.  Topics include settling for anything less than magnetic ...

Episode 330 - Pavlov's Wife

10 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The hottest craze is using archaic psychological manipulation trends on your wife.  Topics include OnlyFans safety, finding the right bell for your w...

Episode 329 - Make 'Em Horny, Make 'Em Fighty

03 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Now "put 'em up" can mean two very different things AT THE SAME TIME.  Topics include brother-in-law sex jealous, ED is A-OK, asking out your wife's ...

Episode 328 - Hey Man, Nice Weiner!

27 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I'm looking back over the show notes and I've just got to say I'm really pissed that I didn't say Upsetti Forgetti for the first question which confus...

Episode 327 - Affection Erection

20 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If any other famous dude would just like to come out and let us know that they suck, it would save us all a lot of time.  Topics include love boners,...

Episode 326 - Dain Needs Help on Uncomfortable Chair

14 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Niall has debuts a new segment that will have you wondering what people are actually interested in jerking off to.  Topics include are you being a pu...

Episode 325 - A Yard in the Testical Division

06 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

No one will ever know how important a millimeter is!  Topics include libido mismatch, the problem with showering, the group chat conspiracy, finding ...

Episode 324 - 2024 Year in Review

30 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Our annual year in review episode is usually reserved for Patreon, but we forgot that and recorded it as a normal episode, so here you go!  We look b...

Episode 323 - Obsessenheimer

23 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Dain had a rough day, but there's nothing like getting in the closet and seeing how bad everyone else is doing.  Topics include if they say they wann...

Episode 322 - Quantum Mom and the Impossible Architecture

16 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How can ever wall be a window?  How can a balcony be a room?  How can mom be EVERYWHERE.  Topics include situationship penis fracture, the ever-pre...

Episode 321 - Teach Her the Gropes

09 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes you just need a mentor to guide you through the more complicated matters in life.  Topics include keeping your car freshly stocked with cru...

Episode 320 - From the Vault: Tony Pizza (Part 2)

02 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

You probably remember when we got really side-tracked by the legend of Tony Pizza.  Well, we didn't stop at just one episode.  We had a lot more to ...

Episode 319 - Slurpin' Balls In Your Mouth

25 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Literally every delicious food could be made into a dick or balls.  Are we supposed to starve?!  Topics include shivering her timbers, boba is sus, ...

Episode 318 - Winnie the Fool

18 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Everything is okay if you film it.  Topics include sharing your feelings, when she fucks you up, a soft "I hate you", making her mine. Support the sh...

Episode 317 - 10 Things I Hate About You (Birthday Edition)

11 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Everything sucks, but we made this for you anyway. Support the show: www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Episode 316 - Voidgina

04 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We don't think John Cena was trying to be sexy when he hit Dain really hard with a sledgehammer, but maybe we just don't know what the kids are into t...

Episode 315 - Sherlock Holmes & Wetson

28 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

See that little joke in the title there, Spotify?  Wouldn't you like MORE of that?  Just hit us up.  We won't blow you off for some lame camp thing...

Episode 314 - Toy Story 5

21 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Ol' Walt is a real freak for this one.  That slinky dog really gets put through it.  Topics include being eaten alive by the prospect of threesomes,...

Episode 313 - Vape Is Just A Steam Room For Your Mouth

14 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Oh, you have a room in your house that gets really hot and steamy?  That's cool.  I've got a room in my body called my lungs that I blast with vapor...

Episode 312 - Butter Fingies

07 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Don't you hate it when you're trying to think of an absolutely devastating comeback, but it comes to you like... two days later in the shower?  Now t...

Episode 311 - Massive, Not Masculine

30 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I can't help but look down at my balls every now and then and think, "Sure, you're massive.  But are you masculine?"  Topics include rated below her...

Episode 310 - My Boyfriend's Volcano Ears

23 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If someone could just Shrek-style pull all the wax out of my ears, that would be very kick ass.  Topics include waterboarding your ears, stalking mas...

Episode 309 - RIP Hulk Hogan

16 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Hulkamania will not longer be running wild.  Topics include throwing up a whole bunch, a poop-inducing scare, where does oral happen, a rough ex-peri...

Episode 308 - Bring Your Brother To Your Nudes

09 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The only way to ensure that you're not about to be blackmailed is simply by including your brother (or sister!) in your nudes for safety.  Topics inc...

Episode 307 - Boner Is Sports Mode

02 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I don't think we SHOULD compare the human body to form of Crocs, but if we DID... then I think it's VERY obviously what our sport mode would be.  Top...

Episode 306 - How Low Can Men Go?

26 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Get out the shovels, boys!  Let's bring this bar straight to hell!  Topics include how low can the bar go, pulling a meatloaf, getting sweaty at the...

Episode 305 - Happy Penis Video

19 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

That baby is just TOO FLIRTY to be sending all willy-nilly.  We're doing a rare remote record this week, but we're back with a hot and fresh episode!...

Episode 304 - Intimate Evenings: My Sickly, Victorian Husband (Live @ The Black Sheep)

12 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We're still recovering from GenCon and catching up on missing a week of our lives to Indianapolis, so here's our most recent live show at Black Sheep!...

Episode 303 - Intimate Evenings: How to Tell if You're Circumcised (Live @ Camp Halcyon)

05 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This summer we got the amazing chance to head out into the woods and perform for the kick-ass campers at Camp Halcyon.  And since we were both away a...

Episode 302 - Take the Puss to Mouth Town

29 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Listen, Greg.  You can keep making your funny little piss jokes and I'll be forced to ruin your life or you can just chill. You make the call.  Topi...

Episode 301 - Transformer? I Hardly Know Her!

22 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We can all agree that there is some man-child out there who is 100% responsible for naming these stupid magic robots.  Topics include sexting ruining...

Episode 300 - Meat Two-bes & Meet Two-ties

15 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We celebrate our unbroken streak of 300 episodes by returning to where it all started.  Join us for an episode of introspection, disappointing sodas ...

Episode 299 - Intimate Evenings: Dry Kongs (Pride Special w/ Trevor Campbell Live @ Black Sheep)

08 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We celebrate Pride month at Black Sheep with the incredibly funny Trevor Campbell, host of You Made Me Queer! Support the show: https://www.patreon.co...

Episode 298 - Non-Consensual Office Staring Contest

01 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you catch them looking at you because you were looking at them then can you even be upset?  Topics include interesting animal encounters while dat...

Episode 297 - The Complete Glossary of Horny Aliens

24 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If someone told me that a children's cartoon had the most complete list of sexually deviant aliens... yeah, I'd probably believe them.  Topics includ...

Episode 296 - Peeking Over the Balls

17 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

New self mode just dropped, y'all.  Get those balls in half eclipse!  Topics include plastic bag break up, post-sex sex show, weirdly obsessed siste...

Episode 295 - Intimate Evenings: Godspeed, Scooter Man (Live @ Black Sheep)

10 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We're on vacation in New York, so here is our most recent live show at Black Sheep! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Episode 294 - A Comprehensive List of the Most Recent Popstar Beef

03 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This is now just a show about all the hottest popstar beef and we're okay with that.  Topics include Dain's heartbreaking celebrity wake up call, how...

Pillow Talk How-To Series #1: Going Out (Patreon Preview)

27 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We're absolutely swamped preparing for our show in New York next week, so we thought it would be a perfect time to release the new Patreon format for ...

Episode 293 - Intimate Evenings: Pitbull Sound Bath (Live @ The Black Sheep)

20 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Dain was away all last week, so here's our live show from last month! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Episode 292 - So Much Pre-Cum

13 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We've talked about filling a shot glass before, but I'm starting to think we're going to need a bigger glass.  Topics include reverse catfish, an eja...

Episode 291 - The Great Water Rejection

06 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

After surviving the harrowing attack last week, we've returned to the scene of the crime to reclaim our space and peace of mind.  Topics include scoo...

Episode 290 - Men vs Bee(?)

29 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

At a specific point in this episode, you may think: "Weird, they didn't edit this part out."  I want to make it VERY clear that I left it in intentio...

Episode 289 - Good Puss

22 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

You've really gotta know what scene I'm talking about.  You know?  With Adam Driver?  And he's eating the soup?  It's from that show.  Come on. ...

Episode 288 - Don't Burn Down Your Sex House

15 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We're back in fine form and actually answering questions this week, so get in here and get educated/entertained!  Topics include ungrateful Roman hol...

Episode 287 - In Defense of Travis Kelce

08 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This episode is the literal definition of "Go off king!" because a) we don't answer a single question and b) this is our FIRST unedited episode.  We ...

Episode 286 - Insert Funny Taylor Swift Reference Here

01 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Don't be fooled by the title, y'all.  This is still a good episode, but man, it would have been SO GOOD if we could have made some banger T-Swift ref...

Episode 285 - My Wife's Loose Five

25 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This month has been insanely busy for us!  But we're back in the closet and getting strange updates and e-mails that are a little too specific?  Top...

Episode 284 - Intimate Evenings: My Girlfriend The Sock (Live @ Black Sheep)

18 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This weekend was a wild one performing at Comicon, so we're taking a wee break to recover by sharing our latest live show at Black Sheep!  Topics inc...

Episode 283 - The Goofing Hour

11 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Oh, gowrsh!  We're thinking of renaming the show F-hyuck Buddies.  Topics include not getting walked home, boyfriend gangbang, to be or not to be (s...

Episode 282 - Intimate Evenings: Peter Pan Syndrome feat. 30 Going on 13 (Live @ Black Sheep)

04 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We mark our special one year anniversary of doing live shows at Black Sheep by inviting our lawfully wedded podwives, Liv and Maddy, from the award-wi...

Episode 281 - Tony Pizza

26 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I hope you're ready for a deep dish serving of Tony Pizza lore.  Topics include nickname game strong, cheating cruise, sitting in the corner, watchin...

Episode 280 - Boner Danger Zone

19 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I don't care if you're a princess or a puppy, you can have all of the parts.  Topics include disrespecting your girlfriend's culture with your boner,...

Episode 279 - It's Okay, I've Seen Fight Club

12 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Support the show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies Taylor Swift may be causing global warming by flying her private jet from Superbowl to S...

Episode 278 - Worst Breakfast for Anal (feat. TherapyJeff)

05 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week's episode is a banger!  We're joined by the amazing Jeff Guenther, LPC, (aka TherapyJeff on Tiktok and Instagram) to answer your questions ...