F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast

Episode 277 - Everyone Needs a Work Wife

30 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This went up late because Dain is incredibly sick and forgot what day it is, so if you want a recap: too bad.  Listen to the episode and find out you...

Episode 276 - The Vagenie

22 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I'm not entirely sure if he grants any wishes, but, lemme tell you, there's one very easy way you grant his.  Topics include Niall's mean era, gettin...

Episode 275 - Big If True

15 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This episode will actually change your life and make you a million dollars and give you abs and make your celebrity crush fall in love with you... big...

Episode 274 - Mexican Third Date

08 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Listen, if your mom isn't going on our romantic destination third date, I'm not interested.  Topics include escalating your dates too quickly, bangin...

Episode 273 - License to Creep

01 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Did our messed up recording schedule result in us completely forgetting that this episode would be released on New Year's Day?  Absolutely.  Topics ...

Episode 272 - If You’re Poor, Curfew For Sure

25 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We're just two sleepy lil guys doing their best.  Topics include funeral crashing, have girlfriend now, girlfriend curfew, husband's threesome tastes...

Episode 271 - One Lip and Tongue Sucking Technique

18 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We've finally recovered from our weekend in Philly, so here's a hot and fresh new episode.  This was recorded earlier this month, so if we talk about...

Episode 270 - Intimate Evenings: Swinger’s Trust Fall (Live @ Black Sheep)

11 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We're still getting our lives together from PAX Unplugged in Philly last week, so please enjoy another extra long episode courtesy of our live shows a...

Episode 269 - Intimate Evenings: Dain’s Birthday Show (Live @ Black Sheep)

04 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This month's live show at Black Sheep was to celebrate Dain's birthday and our universal love of Italian cuisine.

Episode 268 - Big Balls, Even Larger Boxes

27 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Every now and then Dain tries to say something profound but Niall's childish mind gets in the way and ruins everything.  Topics include UTI break-up,...

Episode 267 - Your Mom’s Tinder Radius

21 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We've recorded so many episodes in the past few weeks that I'm starting to lose sense of what time even means anymore.  Topics include short-term lon...

Episode 266 - The U2 Movement

13 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Before the was Me Too, we had U2 and we still didn't learn anything about consent.  Usually this is where Dain recaps the episode, but he had one too...

Episode 265 - Women Are Humans (Because They Are)

06 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If we could all just treat women like actual people (because they are) then I think we'd solve a lot of problems since women are people (like, actual ...

Episode 264 - The Straight Cardboard Side

30 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

At this point in time, we actually have no idea if we're straight or not anymore.  Topics include TikTok date shaming, dark and twisted fantasies, ke...

Episode 263 - Top Tier Dain

23 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It doesn't matter what your feminine energy is, this Dain is ALWAYS top tier.  Topics include a good reason to not sleep over, when can you ask to ho...

Episode 262 - Doja Horse

16 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If you like human to animal ratio math, you're gonna love this one, gang!  Topics include acting shady about saying your name, how to react to sensit...

Episode 261 - A Fool’s Embrace

09 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Y'all, I introduce a brand new game in this episode that I still don't know the rules to, but sorry to any Teagan's out there.  Topics include feelin...

Episode 260 - Stick Up Pick Up

02 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

NOBODY MOVE!  If you do exactly what we say and listen to this brand new episode, no one needs to get hurt...  Nobody be a hero. Topics include a we...

Episode 259 - The Shot Glass Experiment

25 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

All we're saying is that it seems like it's not a LOT of volume and we'd be curious to see how much we could fill a shot glass.  Topics include a hil...

Episode 258 - Act Like Jimmy Neutron Dresses

18 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Some people just can't handle the Neutron style.  Topics include calling off the benefits with a friends with benefits, pre-mature ejaculation and mo...

Episode 257 - The Soonity of Ben Stilleritis

11 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

I'm sorry, babe.  I'm not trying to karate chop you in the ribs... it's this damn disease!  Topics include the sexual history with her dude friends,...

Episode 256 - I’m Gonna ”Watch” a ”Movie”

04 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If anyone "needs" me, I'll be "going" to do some "groceries" because I'm feeling a little "hungry."  Topics include a toothbrush truth bust, how hard...

Episode 255 - Intimate Evenings - McSteamy Flower Shop

28 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Apologies for the late upload this week, y'all!  But we were at Fan Expo all weekend and our brains are fried, so here's the live show we did at Blac...

Episode 254 - Uncle Steve’s Play Place

21 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

You've got three months to find your own place, Greg.  Or else you're going to see your uncle do some things you never want to see your uncle do.  T...

Episode 253 - Busting Guys and Frenulums

14 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If you're going to tell me a joke or have sex with me, I beg you... please be gentle.  My gut and my frenulum are prone to busting.  Topics include ...

Episode 252 - Beat Up Your Dad

07 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Your dad ever get so noisy a nasty farmer just wants to chop off his hands?  Topics include pre-marital handholding, hot tub sex machine, literally n...

Episode 251 - Nothing You Can Do for Dick

31 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sorry for the latest upload of our career, but I just got back from a bachelor party and I don't need to explain myself.  Topics include a hopeless r...

Episode 250 - Chokeslam Break-Up

24 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

I swear to God, if you ever destroy a sentimental gift, I will break up with you so hard that Jim Ross will call you and shout, "BAH GAWD!  He's bust...

Episode 249 - Adventures with the Hatman

17 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Plug your nose, y'all!  This may be our stinkiest episode ever.  Topics include stinky feminists, when finishes too fast, vaginal gag reflex, penial...

Episode 248 - 2 Hot, 2 Shirtless

10 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

NOTE: As of right now, our show is sold out already.  You're monsters and we love you.  We're working on getting more seats in the venue. It's to...

Episode 247 - Wedge Me, Mommy

03 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Did everyone get their permission slips signed for the field trip to the mall where we can harass women one at a time with shitty pick up lines?  Top...

Episode 246 - Pre-Sex Tea

26 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Put on the kettle and then wait.  Then pour a cup and wait.  Then blow on it a little and wait.  Then drink the drink.  Now you can have sex.  To...

Episode 245 - I Live My Life a Quarter Foreskin at a Time

19 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

I never really thought that wiping my own ass would give me such an advantage, but here we are.  Topics include sleeping with your hot boss, gay napk...

Episode 244 - Protect Trans People

12 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Pride Month, y'all.  As much as Pride is a celebration, it's also a moment to reflect and educate ourselves on the hardships our queer friends ...

Episode 243- Milk That Mystery Cow

05 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Is this a new episode or is this actually the oldest episode?  WHAT A TWIST!  Topics include new friend ban, erecting the tiniest statue, last minut...

Episode 242 - A Ride for the 1.3%

29 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We're back, baby!  Niall's finally returned, so we're back in the closet bringing you another fresh episode.  Topics include teaching an old dog new...

Episode 241 - Intimate Evenings: Kinky Grandma (Live @ Black Sheep)

22 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Niall was STILL away on his stupid cruise this week, so here's our last live episode where we spend probably too much time talking about rural landmar...

Episode 240 - Intimate Evenings: VERY NICE! (Live @ Black Sheep)

15 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Can you believe Niall is STILL on a cruise?  Good thing we recorded a bunch of live shows for your enjoyment.  Recorded in March live at Black Sheep...

Episode 239 - Intimate Evenings: Not Bad for February (Live @ Black Sheep)

08 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Niall is away on a vacation cruising around Europe, so this is the perfect chance to release our first set of shows recorded live at Black Sheep.

Episode 238 - A Taste of Pussy Pie

01 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's a civil war over on this episode as one of the Buddies gets a tasty of the forbidden pie and turns his back on the podcast.  Topics include the ...

Episode 237 - Dain’s Cultural Roots

24 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Nothing is Dain's fault and he will not apologize for anything on his journey to understand and connect with his deep cultural roots.  Topics include...

Episode 236 - Queef Theory

17 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

1 out of 2 doctors recommend listening to this with headphones so that you can hear it over the sound of your bones being smashed.  Topics include no...

Episode 235 - A Pubic Inch

10 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

There's going to be a part in this episode where Dain gives you an instruction to do something "no matter where you are" and we'd just like to say tha...

Episode 234 - We’re All Big Idiots

03 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We're all doing our best out here, but at the end of the day we're all just big idiots doing a bad job.  Topics include moving in with your partner m...

Episode 233 - Badly and Weirdly

27 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

How do you like to eat a lollipop?  Do you just crunch it or do you put your tongue outside of your mouth?  Topics include a very expensive first da...

Patreon Feed Drop - Fury of a Thousand Tongues

20 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week was absolutely insane with our live show and being at Comicon all week, so we decided we'd treat you all to one of the bonus Pillow Talk epi...

Episode 232 - My Husband’s Secret Cool Friend

13 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

I'll give you anything you want... even these really awesome sunglasses.  Just don't show my family how cool you are.  Topics include cooking up val...

Episode 231 - Morphsuit Contraceptive

06 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If you idiots keep naming your kids almost exactly like your name, you can't blame me when I accidentally send you a bright green gimp suit.  Topics ...

Episode 230 - At Your Poopiest

27 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If you're about 5'2" and have boobs AND a butt, I'd love to hear from you.  Topics include sex preference waiver, abortion fund, too fat for Wednesda...

Episode 229 - A Visible Amount of Piss

20 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

There's only one thing I want when I confront my ex and it's just a tiny puddle for everyone to see.  Topics include surviving period rage, thrust is...

Episode 228 - Seeking Hot Panera Managers

13 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We're not ones to push conspiracy theories, but has anyone ever actually gone inside of a Panera?  Topics include retaliation vomit, a long overdue c...

Episode 227 - Still Don’t Change Your Guns

06 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have we finally found the stinky zombie car crash boyfriend?  We may never know.  Topics include no sex till dating, an all-day tease-a-thon, strong...

Episode 226 - Stop Answering Our Questions

30 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

I'm sorry that we didn't make it clear sooner, but when we ask a question on the show it is intended to be rhetorical.  Topics include increasing you...

Episode 225 - Stephanie, Come Get Your Boyfriend

23 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If you get real desperate for a date, I highly recommend you swing by the Wal-Mart boyfriend lost and found.  Topics include labeling what belongs to...

Episode 224 - Your Sister’s Porny Exploits

16 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

While Niall deals with an out-of-body experience due to cold meds, I'll just be over here trying to be Willem Dafoe.  Topics include forcing someone ...

Episode 223 - Niall and Dain’s Dark Desires

09 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If I pass you on the street and you're holding something... just know: I thought about it.  Topics include resolutions and setting yourself up for su...

Episode 222 - Year of the Air Fryer

02 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

I'm sure a lot is going to happen in 2023 or whatever, but nothing will be more important than Dain getting an air fryer.  Topics include taking thin...

Episode 221 - Sexmas Spectacular 2022

26 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Did we lose track of time and forget to do a Sexmas episode or is Sexmas whenever we want it to be?  Topics include Dain settles the Die Hard debate,...

Episode 220 - Step Outta Your Own Ass

19 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

If anyone needs me, I'll be hanging with my mom for the next three weeks.  Topics include your boyfriend's cool horse friend, ex's engagement effect,...

Episode 219 - The Posture Prince of Cumshire

12 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to our city of Toronto fancast where we talk about our favourite city instead of helping you.  Topics include regrets of key giving, masturba...

Episode 218 - Chuck E Cheese’s Sleepy Chicken

05 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It's not included in any of the party packages, but if you find the right suspicious looking kid, he'll hook you up.  Topics include constant cheatin...

Episode 217 - Go Read a Book!

28 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hey, idiot! Are you bad at dishes? Go read a book. Can't solve complicated math problems? READ A BOOK! Topics include underground platonic cuddle grou...

Episode 216 - Nutsgiving

21 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

While you cautiously store your nuts for a later date, why not consider giving away nuts for other people?  Topics include No Nut November, hurting f...

Episode 215 - The Award Winning Episode

14 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We won a gosh dang Canadian Podcast Award, so I'm not going to write a description today because I'm drunk on power!

Episode 214 - Boner Suppression

07 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Does anyone know if the babysitter from Crazy, Stupid Love gets arrested for literally sending porn to a child?  Topics include controlling your bone...

Episode 213 - #SaveManhunt

31 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

That's right, ladies.  You sit there... sipping your lemonades while men continue to suffer at the hands of society.  Topics include a jet setting a...

Episode 212 - Stinky Rear Window

24 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Take it from me, a renowned dog/man trainer, the stinkier the window, the better the lesson.  Topics include the completely made up and imaginary fem...

Episode 211 - The Queen’s Gambutt

17 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Yes, it's finally here.  The joke that transcended time and space to earn us any and all award nominations we have and ever will earn.  Topics inclu...

Episode 210 - Exclusive Invite To The Right Stuff

10 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Get your favourite liberal lies and insurrection conspiracy theories ready, y'all, it's time to muddy the dating pool!  Topics include revisiting Can...

Episode 209 - Completing Your Bootédex

03 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

He wants to gaze upon your cheeks like no one ever has.  The peep them is his real test, to rim them is his cause. Topics include what's good for the...

Episode 208 - Wanna Be My Step-Mom?

26 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

You may not know this, ma'am, but step-moms are REALLY big with kids my age these days.  Topics include creepy ways to pick up older women, who shoul...

Episode 207 - Time Is A Circle

19 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

I don't want to blow your mind, but this isn't a new episode because you have, at some point in time, listened to it and therefore it's an old episode...

Episode 206 - Cbat Outta Hell

12 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Cbat has official graduated from best boner jam to my new warlord anthem so that I can achieve my true potential.  Topics include the origin and myst...

Episode 205 - God’s Biggest Mistake

05 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

I think we can all agree that humans are definitely filled with flaws, but there is one design choice on men that is absolutely just a real swing and ...

Episode 204 - The Gamertag Detective

29 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

If I Googled your teenage gamertag, what shocking horrors would I find?  Topics include the unfair standards of women in politics, the truth that hid...

Episode 203 - The Mayo Special

22 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Slather yourself with your own juices, y'all!  We're heading to Applebees!  Topics include top secret special technique, towing the line between swe...

Episode 202 - Gwyneth’s True Name

15 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We accidentally spoke an unspeakable evil into this world and we apologize for the coming emergence of the end times.  Topics include what makes good...

Episode 201 - What Women Twant

08 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Vote for us as People's Choice in the Canadian Podcast Awards: https://canpodawards.ca/vote/peoples-choice/ We're coming down off that Episode 200 hig...

Episode 200 - Dick Bong

01 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Vote for us as People's Choice in the Canadian Podcast Awards: https://canpodawards.ca/vote/peoples-choice/ We done did it for real this time, y'all. ...

Episode 199 - Is THAT Dildo?!

25 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

You can only choose one thing... a Tinder account or a safe granny.  Topics include best friend relationship revelations, the pressure to pursue roma...

Episode 198 - The Rummage Technique

18 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

I like to get both hands in there and really get the lay of the land.  Topics include escort confessions, coming to terms with your ugly genes, a cok...

Episode 197 - Doesn’t Matter, Had Chili’s

11 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Head on over to http://lovehoney.co/Fbuddies and use our limited time code: FUCKBUDDIES20 Look, I know it's tough living in a world where Pokemon don'...

Episode 196 - Don’t Change Your Guns

04 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Head on over to http://lovehoney.co/Fbuddies and use our limited time code: FUCKBUDDIES20 I don't want to spoil too much, but this week we have a v...

Episode 195 - Summer Sex Toy-A-Palooza 2: Electric Bugaloo

27 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Head on over to http://lovehoney.co/Fbuddies and use our limited time code: FUCKBUDDIES20 The fine folks over at LoveHoney have hit your boys up again...

Episode 194 - Summer Sex Toy-A-Palooza

20 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Head on over to http://lovehoney.co/Fbuddies and use our limited time code: FUCKBUDDIES20 This week we're talking all things sex toys thanks to our fr...

Episode 193 - Potato Baby

13 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Don't ever talk to me or my potato son again.  Topics what preparation style best suits your child's potato-esque qualities, where did all the gentle...

Episode 192 - Slam Down Donger

06 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Pride Month, y'all!  I'm strongly considering changing my name to Potato.  Topics include a very steep ask, going down and throwing up, a real...

Episode 191 - It’s About Damn Time

30 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Dain is fighting allergies and Niall sounds like just ate some gravel, so let's do it.  Topics include a teeny-weenie bikini meltdown-eenie, a Pillow...

Episode 190 - James McAvoy Strikes Back

23 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This episode contains a revelation that will absolutely make you see hell.  Topics include marrying the wrong royalty, choosing who takes your virgin...

Episode 189 - Gym Shrinkage

16 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This might be, like... totally random, but would you like to watch this completely irrelevant documentary about why a penis might be small after a wor...

Episode 188 - Protect Roe v Wade

09 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This episode we have a very serious chat about some very serious things.  Topics include the importance of Roe v Wade, navigating your relationship w...

Episode 187 - Wield the Perfect Penis

02 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Imagine the absolute power you would if your penis was always... perfect.  Topics include not even knowing if you're in a hole or not, marital status...

Episode 186 - Bear, Bath and Below

25 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

With the current state of the world, sometimes a man's just gotta grab his shovel and dig a real sweet hole.  Topics include tunneling away from your...

Episode 185 - Jack Nasty Face

18 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Hey baby, I'd love to slam my twiddlehonker into your butterfly contraption apparatus.  Topics include ye olde genitalia guessing game, the m'lady cu...

Episode 184 - The Under Clothes Condom

11 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It doesn't matter what you think, if you're not wearing a condom, you're not fully dressed.  Topics include the politics of staying over, addressing ...

Episode 183 - The Man Who Never Knew Jealousy

04 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies?fan_landing=true We cannot beg you enough: do not watch Turning Red.  There isn't a single Jesus i...

Episode 182 - New Year’s Eve AMA (Special Pillow Talk Patreon Preview)

28 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies?fan_landing=true This week we're giving you a special peek at what goes on over on our Patreon. ...

Episode 181 - Anal Mom (Part II)

21 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We didn't know we'd ever return to Anal Mom, but here we are. Topics include condom purchase assumptions, getting caught sneaking in the back door, re...

Episode 180 - Elden Ring Daily Wordle

14 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

You should be extra grateful for this one, y'all, we actually stopped playing Elden Ring just to record it.  Topics include Elden Ring cockblock, cow...

Episode 179 - My Girlfriend’s Secret KFC

07 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

I'm very sorry, Mr. Murray, I didn't mean to slander you.  Topics include Niall's terrifying crow trivia, anal-safe condoms, a sexual history PowerPo...