F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast

Episode 178 - Train to Tiddytown

28 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

All aboard!  If the topic has already come up, you've got a one-way ticket to Titty Town!  Topics include protecting our LGBT youth, when it's appro...

Episode 177 - Tooth Pervert

21 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

At least if you date a tooth pervert, there's a good chance you'll have plenty of change for the bus.  Topics include the importance of context, your...

Episode 176 - The Shrink Shift

14 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Ah jeez.  Just looked at my schedule and I'm working the shrink shift four times this week... those women are animals.  Topics include how long do y...

Episode 175 - Neutral Treadmill Territory

07 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The game has changed and they only thing we need to start playing is more 'roids!  Topics include what to do when you see a cute pic of the person yo...

Episode 174 - Erection Stealth 101

31 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It's Tumbler 2's favourite podcast back again with another episode that the kids just CANNOT get enough of.  Topics include the best way to prevent a...

Episode 173 - The Most Expensive Apology

24 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

If you listen to this episode, I'm super mad at you and you totally owe me a few thousand dollars.  Topics include when the vibes don't lie, uninvite...

Episode 172 - Premarital Scat Play

17 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

When you're about to propose and life gives you lemonade maybe also ask for some chocolate?  Topics include eating your engagement ring, how to last ...

Episode 171 - Syrup or Lube?

10 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Every man has a secret, powerful syrup that imbibes him with a power beyond mortal comprehension.  Topics include how many rejections should you take...

FEED DROP: Session 1 - Trouble³ (Part I)

07 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Join the adventure: www.noquestcast.com We begin our adventure deep in the space of the Casa-Mal system as the crew of The Maverick investigates a ...

FEED DROP: Session 0 - World Primer (Essential Listening)

07 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Join the adventure: www.noquestcast.com Follow along to the audio logs of Captain Jonathan Oralias, one of the first humans to travel into the Casa-Ma...

Episode 170 - The Year Where Nothing Goes Wrong

03 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

You can curse us for jinxing this year only if you thank us for saving it.  Topics include Dain's predictions for 2022, a new contender for longest q...

Episode 169 (Nice) - Sexmas Spectacular 2021

27 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Did you think we forgot about Sexmas?  Did we actually forget about Sexmas because we recorded this entire month's worth of episodes in one week?  W...

Episode 168 - Booty Bomb

20 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I know that it's been a tough couple of years, friends, but we need to stop putting things in our butts that shouldn't go in our butts.  Topics inclu...

Episode 167 - Secret Sin

13 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

No one must know of or lay eyes upon the evil ichor my body produces whence thou givest me pleasure.  Topics include hitting your partner's nudes wit...

Episode 166 - Same Ol‘ Titties

06 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I've always said that the best part of waking up is just a little bit of salmon semen seeping into my morning coffee.  Topics include a fishy new mat...

Episode 165 - Slutbot (feat. Brianna Rader)

29 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I, for one, welcome our future, sexy robot overlord.  This week we're joined by sexting AI, Slutbot, creator Brianna Rader to talk about all things s...

Episode 164 - Batman Voice Seduction

22 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This episode we practice our Batman voices because we all know that's the only voice women respond to.  Topics include cat litter feng shui, how to c...

Episode 163 - Hornymoon Phase

15 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We've all heard about the honeymoon phase and that's cute... but what about the hornymoon phase?  Topics include dealing with exclusivity rejection, ...

Episode 162 - First Date Poo Crimes

08 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Before you do anything, take a second and think to yourself, "Hey.  Did this happen in Dumb and Dumber?"  Topics include a really crappy first date,...

Episode 161 - Closure Letter Guy

01 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It doesn't matter how scathing or witty you think you were, everyone's going to laugh at your letter, dude.  Topics include ghosting expectations, th...

Episode 160 - Attic Box for Mind Games

25 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

There are two things you don't want to do rummage through my secret attic box or piss me off and you've just done both.  Topics include dealing with ...

Episode 159 - Bathe in Your You Goo

18 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Get your pen and paper ready, folks!  At the end of the podcast we have a fun test that's actually not and actually sucks a lot.  Topics include why...

Episode 158 - It‘s CaptivUS, Not CapitvAS (feat. Angel Russell)

11 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I hope you've got room in your fear vocabulary because we're about to add a whole bunch of new entries.  This week, we're joined by Angel Russell, ou...

Episode 157 - First Date Nude Swap

04 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

After a month of the most chaotic recording schedule we've ever had, we're finally settling back into our proper rhythm, so sit back and expand your b...

Episode 156 - Lunchroom Romeo

27 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Imagine the world we could live in if you used your statistics powers for good instead of evil.  Fearing we haven't been answering a whole lot of que...

Episode 155 - Drake is a Garbage Human

20 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I'll say it here, so that there is both written and recorded evidence, but I would fight Drake in the ring for the honour of all of Toronto.  Topics ...

Episode 154 - Gone Girl 2: Gone Harder

13 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This may be our last episode as Dain travels to some non-descript farm in the rural mid-west to solve the biggest mystery of his life.  Topics includ...

Episode 153 - Toss It In Your Roommate

06 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I don't want to get you too hyped, but I think we finally found our sign off and we definitely execute it perfectly.  Topics include the expectations...

Episode 152 - Stacy Sucksalot

30 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

There's got to be at least one person that has used their real name as their porn name and it makes sense that it would be Stacy Sucksalot.  Topics i...

Episode 151 - Strong Goblin Energy

23 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We're really on the fence about whether or not we love goblins, but we won't make our decision until we have all of the information.  Topics include ...

Episode 150 - Ranch for the Table

16 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This is exactly why we ask for separate bills, Jessica.  Topics include launching our Patreon, playing hard to get extremely poorly, adventures in in...

Episode 149 - Plans with the Prince

09 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes you've got plans with the prince and sometimes you've got a random booty call.  We don't know what the means and it doesn't matter if you d...

Episode 148 - Kidnaptivating

02 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

There's a time and a place to brag about all your cool rocks and it's literally anywhere and always.  Topics include hitting on cuties at the beach w...

Episode 147 - A Shoulder To Sleep On

26 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Hey, Olympics stop being trash and let your athletes bone down (among other things).  Topics include getting She's All That'd, threesome troubles, ho...

Episode 146 - Dave Matthews' Whole New World

19 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week Dain introduces Niall to a completely unheard of new musical act called The Dave Matthews Band.  Topics include sexy lyrics, not judging lo...

Episode 145 - Surprised Butthole

12 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Really?  You're actually going to make me giggle AT your butthole?  Topics include on-screen blowjob concerns, a troubling tattoo tribute, using you...

Episode 144 - Well, That's a Penis

05 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

If you've had a tough week and you're coming to your boys for a little bit of consistency... maybe skip this week?  Topics include does online dating...

Episode 143 - Tight Little Lobster Roll

28 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Dain's all juiced up on that sweet Pfizer/Moderna cocktail and not even feeling like absolute hot garbage will stop him.  Topics include Sam and Buck...

Episode 142 - Submerged in Squirt

21 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Dain fought the Claw and the Claw won.  Topics include Batman's cunnilingus preference, a forlorn vibrator, a penis ejecting vagina, men complimentin...

Episode 141 - The Oral Bench

14 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We're back to work for the first time in like seven months and if you think I've got the energy to come up with a real clever episode description, you...

Episode 140 - Quantum Dad

07 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

No matter what you do today, it's what Dad wanted you to do.  Topics include a relationship split, squirting insecurities, the feeling like someone i...

Episode 139 - Dain Ruins Rom-Coms

31 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Look, someone had to say it, but your favourite rom-com couple probably broke up.  Topics include the dangers of grand gestures, integrating Tinder's...

Episode 138 - Tit for Cat

24 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I'm not going to lie, if someone offered me really cute kittens, I'd probably have sex with them too.  Wait, I mean the person.  Not the kittens!  ...

Episode 137 - Sibling Cuddle Time

17 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Turns out, after all this time, it's not the step-brother you need to fear, it's the REAL brother!  Topics include toxic relationship blackmail, the ...

Episode 136 - Hagrid Horniness

10 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You ever reveal a kink to your partner and think, "I shouldn't have said that.  I should not have said that."  Topics include vaccines and nominatio...

Episode 135 -The Boner Nose Mix-Up

03 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Circle message: Y'all make me so horny, my eggplant emoji sneezes.  Send!  Topics include our Circle strategy, sexy sneezy situation, degradation pl...

Episode 134 - Quickies With Dad

26 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

In these trying times, it's important to have a quickie with not just your daughter, but everyone in your family.  Topics include a clueless dad, mor...

Episode 133 - Totally Not A Serial Killer

19 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You know what they say, all the good ones are either taken or still alive.  Topics include arousing duvet related sexts, how to handle confusing cons...

Episode 132 - Jizzua Tree

12 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes you don't want to talk about U2, sometimes you need to.  Topics include top secret Dad folder, slobbering sex situation, making the perfect...

Episode 131 - Girth Brooks

05 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sure, 2020 was bad, but nothing is worse than finding out someone beat you to Girth Brooks.  Topics include, zombie sex robots, nude roommate blunder...

Episode 130 - Snuffles Snarfed My Snippers

29 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

And as the last light of humanity slowly flickers away, the words echoed one last time, "I am immortal."  Topics include cryptic sex AIs, unhealthy w...

Episode 129 - Mudblood Mike

22 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I don't have abs or a good brain, I'm pretty much House-Elf Mike.  Topics include a step-by-step guide to murder-staring, separating the desire for s...

Episode 128 - Bugs Bunny's Big Rabbit Penis

15 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Do you guys remember that scene in Space Jam where Bugs has an existential crisis over the size of his absolutely massive donger?  Topics include Nia...

Episode 127 - The 20 Second Rule

08 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week's episode is a little shorter than usual, that's just to help us transition into a more manageable 20 second format.  Topics include the cu...

Episode 126 - Jacksoff Dollop

01 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

If you're gonna cream your jeans, you might as well make it artistic.  Topics include breaking up but in the future, getting very excited by holding ...

Episode 125 - I TikTok'd My Fortnite, Doc!

22 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You know what they say, kids will be kids especially when crippling themselves while sexually pleasuring themselves.  Topics include a political hot-...

Episode 124 - Live Every Day Like Your Girlfriend Says It's Your Last

15 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Are psychic girlfriends becoming more common or are we now just waking up to reality?  Topics include a problematic predication, soup spilling seduct...

Episode 123 - Self-Defense Penis Popping

08 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We do our best not provide you with solid advice, but we really want to stress that we don't think it's a good idea to do anything to your penis that ...

Episode 122 - Niall's Condom Sack

01 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I don't care who knows it: Leader of Men by Nickelback is a pretty good song.  Topics include recurring tattoo troubles, three round sex requirement,...

Episode 121 - Thumbs Down That Ass

25 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You can let a man down easy or you can let him down hard or you can thumb that ass right down.  Topics include a delightful ball experience that ever...

Episode 120 - Bluetooth Sleuth

18 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I legally have to say that I'm not encouraging you to do crimes, but if you were going to do crimes... why not do them all?  Topics include Bluetooth...

Episode 119 - Unaware Mistress

11 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Okay, just hear me out, maybe someone is in a relationship with you and YOU don't know.  It could happen, right?  Topics include relationship follow...

Episode 118 - The Woman Depot

04 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We did it!  We made it to 2021!  Now no one say anything about what kind of year it's going to be.  Topics include groundhog year, cousin porn, bir...

Episode 117 - Chinese Sex Donkey

28 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Look, we've almost made it through 2020.  For the love of God, just stay clear of this donkey.  Topics include ranking your sexual partners, dangers...

Episode 116 - Sexmas Spectacular 2020

21 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We made it to everyone's favourite non-denominational festive holiday: SEXMAS!  Join us for a special episode where we take a break from answering qu...

Episode 115 - Anal Mom (Step Mother Edition)

14 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Stop what you're doing right now and go enter our Sexmas Giveaway!  Contest ends December 17th 2020, so get going!  Links are found further below. ...

Episode 114 - Good Teen Fun

07 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

There's a very big announcement involving Sexmas at the end of the show, so make sure you stay around to hear what we've got planned.  Or you could s...

Episode 113 - Spoonful of Cheese

30 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

During these trying times, its important to check in on your friends and see if they're doing okay especially if they were absolutely never doing okay...

Episode 112 - The XBox Live School of Parenting

23 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We're just gonna let you listen to this podcast, but we're not giving it to you.  Please give us our podcast back now.  Topics include historical se...

Episode 111 - How to Categorize Women

16 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Aren't you just sick and tired of never knowing whether you want to date, have sex with or just be friends with a woman?  Well, have we got a revolut...

Episode 110 - The Horny Truth About Coffee

09 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Hey, America!  You did a good job and to celebrate we've got a very special episode in which we barely talk about politics because we had no idea wha...

Episode 109 - Slurpin' Lady Soup

02 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to this week's episode, if you'll give us a moment, we just have to finish half-heartedly deepthroating this dildo.  Topics include PS5 sadne...

Episode 108 - The War on Boys

26 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The lines have been drawn in the sand.  You're either with us or against us.  The War on Boys begins now!  Topics include a brief history of Canadi...

Episode 107 - Be More Like Chad Kroeger

19 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

If we could all just take a moment to reflect on our lives for a second and see how we could be a bit more like Canadian rock superstar Chad Kroeger t...

Episode 106 - The Most Romantic Teenager

12 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode two very romantic adult men lament the troubles of being romantic teenage males.  Topics include only looking for sex online, threeso...

Episode 105 - Wife's Hot Friend Harem

05 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Dain brings big dad energy to this one and Niall insults some brains.  Topics include fortunes found in foreskin, a murdery update, a rocky honeymoon...

Episode 104 - Diary of a Swimpy Kid

28 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week we bring a very important update regarding #NoSimpSeptember which we definitely take very serious and don't mock at all.  Topics include wo...

Episode 103 - Penial Structural Integrity

21 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We're usually on the same page when it comes to answering questions, but when we're not we get contention boi energy.  Topics include the terrifying ...

Episode 102 - Bouncing Bad

14 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

I don't know about you, Iron Man, but a Thanos snap doesn't seem like the worst idea right now.  Topics include a soupy Samurai seduction, losing you...

Episode 101 - Sodomy Monster

07 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Oh boy!  I don't know what to say about this one, y'all.  I suppose this is just the energy we're bringing to the 100s.  Topics include how to slow...

Episode 100 - Long Hard Clit

31 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We've done it.  Somehow, we've made it to 100 episodes and we haven't missed a single one!  Thank you so much for being on this weird, sexy and some...

Episode 99 - Velvety Red Blossoming Delivery Truck

24 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Celebrate Episode 100 with us by sending in a short voice message to fbuddiespodcast[at]gmail.com! This week's train wreck of a title is the result...

Episode 98 - Instagram Toe-Licking 101

17 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Terrible personalities, horrible podcast.  Don't even bother.  Topics include small penis sibling comfort, a horny milk update, an accidental first ...

Episode 97 - Wish.com's James Franco

10 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We got a break from the scorching heat here in Toronto, so we took advantage by using our very big brains to answer your questions with perfect clarit...

Episode 96 - Horny Milk (feat. Shakun Sethi)

03 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week we have an exciting guest, Shakun Sethi, the founder and CEO of Tickle.Life, a website that can only be described as a sexuality megasite. ...

Episode 95 - Semi-Full Time Cowboy

27 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week Dain confronts Niall about a terrible crime and a whole new conspiracy reveals itself.  Topics include astral hexing, expectations for a ro...

Episode 94 - The Dream Gambit

20 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We bring some real bad energy at the top of this episode because sometimes you just got to let it all out, but don't worry, we get to that good stuff ...

Episode 93 - Ghost Girlfriend Surprise

13 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

I know we say it a lot, but I think this one is the sweatiest episode ever.  Even in the middle of a heatwave here in Toronto, we get in our murder-s...

Episode 92 - Ragdoll Facial

06 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week we buckle down and get to business with possibly the most questions we've ever answered in one episode.  We've set a dangerous precedent, b...

Episode 91 - Phat Yoni Energy

29 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Crack open an ice cold beer that may or may not include someone's genital bacteria and enjoy this week's episode!  Topics include the mystical yoni, ...

Episode 90 - Pride MEGAsode (feat. Kyle Crawford)

22 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It's the time of year, y'all!  Happy Pride!  And what would Pride be without our annual Pride episode and with our favourite co-host Kyle Crawford? ...

Episode 89 - The Impossible Toilet

15 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We're back to our regularly scheduled programming in the hopes that we can be a little bit of light in an otherwise bleak time.  We hang out in the b...

Black Lives Matter

08 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week we take a step back from our usual show to use our platform to support the Black Lives Matter. Books recommendations:  'Why Are All the ...

Episode 88 - How Sexy Is Dain's Dad?

01 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The world is chaos at the moment.  We recorded this episode before madness descended, so we hope that we can provide a slice of normalcy and maybe ev...

Episode 87 - Banging Grandma While Jesus Watches

25 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

A brief apology for some of the audio issues this week, my microphone decided to crank itself to 11 while we were recording, but thanks to modern tech...

Episode 86 - Super Penis Cocktail

18 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It's hard to come up with these episode descriptions when all I do is sit around all day re-watching Community and working on a digital farm, but, hey...

Episode 85 - Elusive Pirate

11 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

In the interest of safety, we respectfully ask that you remain six feet away from your podcast player while listening to this week's episode.  You ca...

Episode 84 - Matthew's Famous Brisket

04 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Look, we know you've got a lot on your mind.  Deadly pandemic, murder hornets... full body mythical creature tattoos.  We're here to take your mind ...

Episode 83 - Baby Black Market

27 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week we start off pretty butt-centric, but don't worry, we branch out.  Niall gives a much needed health update and Dain is worried about the ca...

Episode 82 - Mattress Wife

20 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This is a good one, friends.  We barely even have to try to keep the recent unpleasantness from seeping into this one.  The only downside is that we...