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Financial Audit

I’m Going To Get Sued For This | Financial Audit

29 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 34.237 Caleb Hammer

To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. But why were you here at 8 a.m. this morning? Because you got kicked out of your hotel that we sent you to. You little freak. We sent everyone to like the same few hotels. You're the first one to get kicked out. But no, no, no, you got tits as well. Those were free. You did your nails.

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34.257 - 44.297 Jade

Those were free. No, how was it free? Colorado taxpayers. Why would I pay for it if I can get it for free?

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45.323 - 69.151 Caleb Hammer

June 1st, I'm launching the Hammer Elite app, available on every major platform. Join the waitlist by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below to get a never-before-seen financial audit video and then an exclusive offer just for you. You'll get lifetime access to the entire Hammer Elite catalog and our Hammer for Life box, packed with limited edition merch.

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69.171 - 75.178 Caleb Hammer

So mark your calendar, June 1st. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that is a promise.

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76.593 - 80.617 Jade

I'm Jade. I'm 28 from Denver, Colorado, and you're watching Financial Audit.

82.118 - 86.062 Caleb Hammer

Yes, you are, and you're on it. Thanks for coming over to Austin. You're welcome.

Chapter 2: How did the hotel incident unfold?

86.082 - 87.363 Caleb Hammer

What do you do in Denver for a living?

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87.683 - 98.493 Jade

I'm a barber. I cut hair, you know, do men's hair. Oh, okay. Things like that, you know. Thoughts? Turn around. I think you kind of need a haircut. And your neckline's kind of... I need a haircut.

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98.513 - 99.174 Caleb Hammer

Yes, it's going on.

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99.194 - 104.779 Jade

Yeah. Tell your barber not to block off your neckline. You look like a little boy. Little boy? Little boy.

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105.74 - 105.84

Okay.

106.242 - 108.507 Jade

It just looks cleaner when you taper it, you know?

108.547 - 112.135 Caleb Hammer

Well, she said I was hotter in person, so I guess she's into the little boys.

112.216 - 112.957 Jade

I said cuter.

113.018 - 116.906 Caleb Hammer

Cuter. That's what you want to hear when you're into little boys, apparently. No, no, no.

Chapter 3: What are the implications of being fired?

127.265 - 135.498 Jade

What do you make? Well, I don't really know. It depends. I told you I was a barber. That's the first question in financial audits.

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135.679 - 142.49 Caleb Hammer

I'm a tip employee. Okay, very good. How much do you make on average from your tips? And then your commission.

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142.851 - 148.46 Jade

And then your hourly. You combine it. I don't know. If I knew, do you think I'd be here?

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148.661 - 159.272 Caleb Hammer

Yes, because most people know what they make and they're still... I do not know how to go through the rest of this conversation without a number I can put down for how much you make. I can guess.

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160.134 - 167.284 Jade

I don't know how reliable the guess... Okay, what's your hourly? It would be $12.50 an hour. That's commission.

167.304 - 170.668 Caleb Hammer

That commission better be good because $12.50 an hour in Denver ain't going to do shit.

170.688 - 184.732 Jade

Well, no shit. Yes. But I have my own apartment, so I must be doing something. Most people can get their own apartment. Not without roommates. No, you can get an apartment. But paying for it, I'm not evicted. There's no eviction notice.

184.752 - 207.139 Caleb Hammer

Do you want a round of applause for this? Kind of. Okay, well, you're not going to get it. That's some basic shit, and I see it behind the payment immediately on the first document, but we'll get into that. That's just what's in front of me, so I don't think there's too much to celebrate here. I'll be completely honest, but okay, so you're a barber, but you don't know how much you make. Great.

207.7 - 209.081 Jade

I mean, a little bit.

Chapter 4: How does the conversation shift towards financial planning?

276.352 - 281.051 Caleb Hammer

But now, I think we do know your pay. Your pay is... Zero. You got fired.

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281.071 - 286.46 Jade

Now, yeah. But I, you know, I'm going to get on unemployment. That's your income. I'm going to get on unemployment.

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286.54 - 286.66 Caleb Hammer

Sure.

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286.68 - 287.602 Jade

I can find a job.

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287.682 - 290.927 Caleb Hammer

No, no, no, no, no. But if we're talking how much you make from this job, there is no job.

291.308 - 313.028 Jade

Well, I'm going to freelance. I have clients that want me. Okay, so how much do you make from the clients that want you? $3,000, $4,000 for May. And that's not including my tips. Not including your tips. Not cash. There are no tax on tips. No tax on tips.

313.048 - 333.644 Caleb Hammer

Depends on your income level. But essentially, yeah, I mean, you'd be fine. But you're right. But no, no, no. I'm talking about how the clients are paying you. Your clients. What are your clients? How are they paying you? In what way? What do you mean? Oh my goodness. How are you collecting the payment through your client? Where are you cutting your client's hair? I don't know.

334.806 - 342.498 Jade

I mean, it could be their house. Okay, this is going to be an impossible conversation. I've thought about going and getting... So you do know.

344.08 - 347.305 Caleb Hammer

I have ideas. Where did you cut their hair in the $3,000 that you made?

Chapter 5: What financial challenges are discussed in this segment?

2737.664 - 2771.452 Caleb Hammer

Yeah, I want to see this. I want to see it. What? I want to see that message. Oh. I'm looking at this chat and I might regret it in many ways, unfortunately. But for you, my content friends out there, Hey, could you help me out here and send me like $500? Okay, I'm pushing send. Okay. Good? Wait, how do I? You don't want to see anything. No, no, no. I just. Okay. Okay.

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2771.472 - 2775.459 Caleb Hammer

But let's just see general chat. Okay. Okay.

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Chapter 6: How do personal relationships impact financial decisions?

2775.499 - 2787.223 Caleb Hammer

Safe, safe, safe. Safe, safe, safe. Good. Okay. Got a client at two. I need to get ready. The near downtown giving myself the time to drive. Okay. Let me know and I'll hop in the shower. On my way.

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Chapter 7: What are the consequences of poor financial management?

2787.263 - 2790.227 Caleb Hammer

Okay, so you f*** him for the month. No, I don't f*** him.

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2790.267 - 2791.85 Jade

We literally just hung out and smoked a blunt.

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2793.973 - 2798.579 Caleb Hammer

Oh shit, I'll open the door, run up and shower. Why are we all showering then? I'm not showering.

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2798.639 - 2808.893 Jade

Okay, BB, I'm hoping, anyway, I'm already just got here. And he was also somebody that I actually gave a chance to and he... So you have f***ed?

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2808.913 - 2815.608 Caleb Hammer

Have you f***ed? I can't, no. Okay, well, here's the conversation for the money. Okay, hold on.

2817.591 - 2825.424 Unknown

What is this? What? There is a picture that was sent. It was this. It was a picture of me, and she said, this, LOL.

2829.01 - 2832.516 Jade

Excuse me? He asked me who I was watching.

2834.9 - 2835 Unknown

What?

2836.516 - 2837.698 Jade

Absolutely.

Chapter 8: How can one improve their financial situation after debt?

2853.446 - 2866.526 Caleb Hammer

And I mean, I have. You also said. Interesting. Thank you so much for giving me the time of day. I actually care about you. So pictures aren't prostitution. Nothing will truly come from this unless we both make some serious changes. And he's like, yeah, I'm a swinger.

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2867.227 - 2868.268 Unknown

So I want to do threesomes.

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2868.588 - 2893.287 Caleb Hammer

I'll do 300 if you come over and 100 if you do tomorrow. And I didn't do that. Yes, you did. Because he said the money and you did go over. But not no weird threesomes. Oh my goodness. Wait, what's this? But yeah, it was a nice night, even the sexual part. You f***ing liar. You f***ing liar. This is why I go through the text, ladies and gentlemen. This is why I go through the text.

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2893.435 - 2897.019 Jade

But this is also a dude that I actually wanted a relationship with.

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2897.159 - 2920.523 Caleb Hammer

But because he's into open relationships with- Oh, you also said yes, you f*** others. Often. And have other sims. I didn't say I f*** often. Yes, you did! It's here! Often's not there. He responded, let's see. Are we getting $500, ladies and gentlemen, or not? He said, ha ha ha ha, f*** what's going on. Just so I can pay a bill that's hitting... later today.

2922.815 - 2935.394 Jade

Babe. Yeah, that's fine. Like I said, he was somebody that actually wanted a relationship. I'll keep monitoring this. He was somebody that I actually wanted a relationship with. Yeah, and he wants to suck your... Well, that's what you do in relationships. You have sex.

2935.414 - 2935.835 Caleb Hammer

For money.

2936.796 - 2942.545 Jade

No, but like you have sex with your girlfriend. If she was down bad, wouldn't you give her a little money?

2943.419 - 2962.158 Caleb Hammer

No, she's a bad fucker. She can be responsible. She's figuring her shit out. Maybe I'm figuring my shit out. I give my girlfriend gifts, but right now she's figuring out her income situation even better. These are gifts. No, not like eBay gifts, though. So let's get into these finances. Let's get into the numbers.

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