Dead Ringers: Ep3. Heat, Hydration, and Harry Kane
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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We'll see you next time. Harry Kane, a disappointing nil-nil draw with Ghana. That was a dour 90-minute slog.
Yeah, I know, cos... Yeah, we had a plan, we stuck with it, and we gave the fans back home what they wanted.
Gave the fans back home what they wanted. Harry, England were flat, uninspiring, ponderous and boring.
Yeah, you know, that was for everyone back home, sweltering in this 40-degree heatwave. The entire country's finding it impossible to sleep, but half an hour watching England versus Ghana... LAUGHTER ..and their lads putting off in no time at all. It's a... It's a dream come true, isn't it?
Dead ringer.
The question my party is asking now is whether I am best placed to lead us into the next general election. I have heard the answer of my parliamentary party to that question and I accept that answer with good grace. OK, Keir, I now need you to write down the name of who you think is a traitor.
Sorry, Claudia. I'm struggling. I'm looking around and all I see are traitors. There's Andy. Look, it's nothing personal, mate, but I had to vote for yourself to leave. I know, you've played an amazing game. And as for you, Wes, I have been 100% faithful to you the whole way through, Keir. Yeah, he's definitely a traitor. Yeah.
To be fair, Keir, you've done some quite traitorous things to a lot of us.
Well, Angela, I have to say, you didn't do very well in the housing challenge. I need to push you for a name, Zakir. You know what? I'm putting down myself. I mean, I did let everyone down in the don't appoint an associate of an international sex trafficker to a high security government post challenge. OK, Keir, this means you have received the most votes and are now banished. Before you go, please reveal your true identity. Well, what a journey it's been. I've given it my best shot and I made some amazing memories. Remember when I got all those free gifts and... ..made all those U-turns? But I'm proud to say that I am... and always have been, since the very beginning, a son of a toolmaker. Hello there, I'm Gary Lineker, and welcome to The Rest Is Football.
If Netflix had VAR, they'd reverse their decision to give us 30 million quid for this. So, it's been a disappointing few days. Scotland's hopes are hanging by a thread after they lost to Brazil, and before that, there was England's frustrating 0-0 draw against Ghana. I'm once again joined by England manager Thomas Tuchel. Hello, Gary. So, Thomas, what was the main problem? A lack of legs in midfield?
What are the latest updates on Harry Kane's performance?
No, Gary. I counted two on Rice, two on Anderson and two on Bellingham. Exactly the right amount of legs. Then I substituted off Bellingham, two legs off, and brought on Rogers, two legs on. The legs added up to the correct number of legs at all times. LAUGHTER But the Ghana team, they really parked the bus, didn't they? No, Gary. The coach driver parks the bus. The Ghanaian players would not be allowed to drive the bus without the proper PSV licence and accreditation. Right, well, good luck against Panama, Thomas, and don't forget, the whole country's behind you. No, Gary. I am currently facing in a south-easterly direction, which means the whole of England, I believe, is to my left and slightly in front of me.
I could, I suppose, try at all times to face away from England so that the whole country was indeed behind me. However, that strikes me as highly inefficient. But then again... You are German. Precisely, Gary. LAUGHTER
Hello and welcome to Times Radio. I'm Andrew Neil.
The role of Andrex you dropped in the toilet and didn't fish out quickly enough. I'm here with prospective Prime Minister Andy Burnham. And a good old in touch with the people of the North to you.
How is the heatwave affecting England's football matches?
Hello, Andrew, our kid. Yeah, well, pack it in. Come on, we all know you went to Cambridge, Sonny. So you want to rule this country. It's a tough job. Are you prepared for it? What's your strategy? I have a great strategy. I have a five-point plan, Andrew. Well, that's good to know. Are you going to let us in on it? Of course.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–4:07
2
What are the latest updates on Harry Kane's performance?
4:07–5:45
3
How is the heatwave affecting England's football matches?
5:45–6:39
4
What challenges is Keir Starmer facing as Labour leader?
6:39–8:58
5
How does the podcast address controversial political figures?
8:58–15:50
6
What humorous takes are shared on the current political landscape?
15:50–21:43
7
How does the podcast use satire to comment on recent events?
21:43–30:55
Speakers
8 identifiedMore from Friday Night Comedy from BBC Radio 4
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