The News Quiz: Ep 2. Team Vibes vs Team Bribes
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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UK. Moro. Moro. Hei, oot sä tulossa tänään yhtiökokoukseen? Joo. Ei hitsi. Jätäks mä avainata autoa? Mulla
on avaikännykäs. Huh? Mitä sä ton teet? Mulla on tää Yale Linus älylukko. No
eithän sä nyt
noin voi tehdä. Tottakai voi. Noniin, moikka.
Avaa kotiovi kännykällä. Abloin Yale Linus älylukko. Myös kerrostalokotiin. Yale. Yksinkertaisesti turvallista.
Before we start this week's News Quiz, we would like to check whether all humanity has already been wiped out by AI. Experts have suggested this may well happen. We thought we'd make sure it hasn't already happened before we start the show. So I'm going to ask you in the audience here in Birmingham, please answer as honestly as possible. Do you still exist?
Yes!
Are you all AI bots? No! Are you sure? Yes! That's good enough for me. Welcome to the News Quiz.
Yes!
Hello, I am Andy Zoltzman. This week we are recording here in Venice, Birmingham. Sorry, I'm always getting those two mixed up. One for the canal fans there. Our teams in a week in which the government in the UK tried to find ways to boost the economy despite no money being available and in which Donald Trump offered $5,000 to every adult American citizen ahead of his midterm elections. We have Team Vibes against Team Bribes. On Team Vibes we have Zoe Lyons and Hugo Rifkind. And on Team Bribes, Mark Steele and Celia Aby. To kick us off this week, a story that's been building since last Friday. Which party leader who admits he doesn't always listen could soon be hearing from the police?
Sorry, what did you say? I wasn't... That's Mr Nigel, isn't it?
Yes.
That's what I call him. They were trying to do a donation, right? And then he was pretending that he wasn't listening. But really, the whole time, I think he did.
LAUGHTER And that concludes the case for the prosecutor.
LAUGHTER I think he could have come up with a better line. He could have been like, I was eating a big bowl of cereal, I couldn't hear a thing.
LAUGHTER
And they were pretending to be American, right?
Yeah, we've all done it. They were pretending to be American, but the guy was like, hello, I'm American. Everyone was like, yes, of course you are.
Did the audience survive the AI existence poll at the start of the show?
We're convinced. Carry on. It's like me pretending to be Scottish.
Can you do it?
No, I am Scottish. That was a joke.
Can you pretend to be more Scottish, Hugh? Not really.
Well, it's Nigel Farage and it's staggered the nation because he's usually so reliable and honest. But we're just used to it, aren't we now, with modern politicians? Just a few years ago, you'd have thought, well, that's ridiculous, but now you go, yep.
Can I just say, as someone whose British citizenship is pending, I feel nothing about that man.
LAUGHTER
I
mean, to be
fair to him, though, it is hard to listen, isn't it, when you're slurping down a plate full of oysters at lunchtime and the popping of champagne corks in the background. And then if anybody does say anything of interest, of course he's just drowned out with a sign of the helicopter landing that's been donated by one of his other suspicious stoners. So, you know, I feel a bit sorry for him. I think he's hard done by... I think the establishment are really going for him, aren't they? LAUGHTER It's the establishment, Andy,
they're going for. The crux of the kind of reformist thing story is whether or not they broke the law, right? Which is actually quite hard to figure out because if everything in this documentary was accurate, they definitely tried to break the law and thought they were breaking the law. Because basically what happened is the fake donor was paying for polls and they thought the money was coming from America. It's a serious amount of money. It was like £35,000 that the fake donor gave them to pay for polls. And they thought it was coming from America. It was actually paid out by this sort of journalistic outfit. And we don't know where their money came from. Reform says they were foreign funded. So that's kind of reform saying we did break the law, even though they say they didn't.
So if reform's wrong and this group is actually British, then reform tried to break the law and failed to break the law, which is special.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–3:03
2
Did the audience survive the AI existence poll at the start of the show?
3:03–6:24
3
Who are the members of Team Vibes and Team Bribes in this episode?
6:24–7:07
4
Why did Nigel Farage claim he wasn’t listening during a work meeting?
7:07–13:25
5
What was the alleged foreign‑funded ‘donor’ scheme discussed by Reform?
13:25–30:45
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from Friday Night Comedy from BBC Radio 4
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