Friend Crush with Amber Akilla
Episodes
decentering your hometown: hard to love yourself when you hate where you're from
29 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
some thoughts on how my relationship with my hometown and childhood trauma has changed over time for anyone that might be or has struggled with someth...
navigating the creative industry - visibility, creative freedom & status
15 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/Jer_eAG1q1severyone is creating, everyone is creative!!! your desire to create is valid whether you pursue it as a h...
the first pillar of self-esteem: the practice of living consciously
01 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
this week’s video is a deeper dive into the first pillar of self-esteem - the practice of living consciously!The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being ...
baddie book club: being your own bestie, living consciously, journalling
26 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
very delayed upload of the last baddie book club discussion session!!!i needed to optimise the audio - apologies for some of the echo but i still felt...
consumption is not a hobby
19 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/ndawrsGy3F4please share how your journey with creating/consuming/compensated and participating has or is evolving!!!...
flop eras, shrek-gate, ego death, supporting women's rights & wrongs
06 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
recording of a tiktok/youtube live on 24.02.2026 !video version: https://youtu.be/xIduRHUSvUM00:00 - recent obsessions02:00 - being a woman in corpora...
never argue with a man for free
26 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/bJ1Ow4RFuW4the irony of me filming this a week before that sh*k video oop at least you know i practice what i preach...
decentering men while dating, first loves, envy, work crushes, casual hook ups
19 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/0doV1ZWLOKMpart two of the 2020 Love, Lust & Loathing Q&A!! thank you for your patience ~ make sure to watch...
baddie book club: rejecting perfection, break-ups, gap year, failure & success
15 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Recording of the second discussion group for part 1 of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden ~ Baddie Book Club! We discuss reflecting o...
how to lock-in so hard your crush dies (metaphorically): limerence, yearning & being delusional
15 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
ok so i originally said this was going to be one long video with an accompanying substack article - now it will be a few videos with one or more subst...
baddie book club vol. 1 week 1: discussion session ☆ the six pillars of self-esteem
07 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
audio recording of our first baddie book club discussion session!! thank you to the baddies who attended and shared their questions, thoughts and feel...
when your bestie becomes a stranger - social circles & types of friendship
29 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/DhFmgfKp73Q?si=D7aWmgHwrbQueGq3outlining some ideas around different types of connection and social circles - this i...
people pleasing dynamics (GRWM)
21 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
my thoughts on the people pleasing dynamic. i think healthy, balanced relationships take more work that we are willing to admit and it starts with you...
are all relationships transactional? what vibe do you bring to the function?
14 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/e4hrPViYKK8using an analogy about food to talk about transactional relationships and energy exchange. often times we...
the book that changed my brain chemistry: the six pillars of self-esteem
09 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/boT5swEW5vsif you've been following me for a while, you'll probably have heard me reference and recommend this book ...
non-negotiable hobbies for confidence: my pole dance journey
06 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
i’ve been going on about the importance of a non-negotiable hobby for ages and i’ve also had a lot of questions about pole dance so this is a vide...
parents: avoid over-communicating and become living proof
06 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/fCgEU8hkT2Ai get a lot of questions about how to handle conflict with parents. while i can't speak to the nuances of...
you can't afford to be nonchalant - trying is cool
06 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/l2Fnj9WalcUtrying is cool !!!!!! 01:26 - nonchalant definitions & connotations 02:46 - the opposite of nonchalan...
the pick-me seed: internalised misogyny, patriarchy, de-centering men
06 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
an intro to how i think about and practice awareness around patriarchal conditioning, internalised misogyny and de-centering men. a very complex topic...
passion for your job is overrated
06 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/vOWAI0hOp-Mhi baddies ~ here are some thoughts for anyone feeling overwhelmed about their job and how it fits into t...
energy vampires & negging
06 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/8Opz3x8ws48be mindful of who you give vibe donations to!!!! 01:57 - 1. low vs high vibrations 05:09 - 2. self-awaren...
is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? british vogue article thoughts & feelings
06 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/TblTGkOemwIi got sent videos about this article by so many people i decided to just share some thoughts in a video!!...
if you can't do it scared, do it ironically: micro-dosing risk, getting out of your comfort zone
06 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/0u9iMbXQhV8DO IT FIRST AND LAUGH IT OFF LATER :D1:56 - internet illusions3:33 - micro-dosing risk4:14 - understandin...
all of your time is equally valuable ☆ being present
06 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/qXdL5JjLVAwwe are constantly being sold the illusion that time which is paid for is the most 'valuable' time which c...
increase your baseline: discipline, acceptance, life audit, baby steps, being hot & having fun!!!
06 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/qXdL5JjLVAwthank you so much for subscribing and supporting the channel angels!!!this is a long one so strap in. som...
UNDERSTANDING LOVE: DEFINING CONNECTION
06 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/mqu4RRzr2oowhat is love.mp3book mentioned: the road less travelled by m. scott peck (*)https://amzn.to/496J0SDother ...
it's not the boy you're crying over: the crying gap - standards, expectations vs reality
06 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/UJOsMitowCIfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify...
everything is vibes - be hot and have fun!!!
06 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
youtube episode: https://youtu.be/1mv6EZX003Yfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify...
rethinking imposter syndrome
16 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
i got asked about imposter syndrome recently, there's definitely some overlap with comparing yourself to others (see previous video) but i made this v...
hot girls don't let comparison be the thief of joy
31 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
talking through the mental blocks that can occur when we get stuck on comparing ourselves to others in a way that hinders our ability to be HOT and HA...
what to do when you don't know what to do
23 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
that overwhelming "wtf" feeling01:54 - context can differ, dyanmic/feelings are usually consistent02:45 - its better to do something, rather than noth...
growth doesn't have an aesthetic
09 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
a short video with a gentle reminder that your mental/spiritual/emotional growth doesn't have to look a certain way in order to be valid. maybe your p...
a woman's ego in dating ~ eating dim sum in wuhan
02 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
pairing an excerpt from my voice memo podcast series with this footage of me eating dim sum between a soundcheck and standby while i was on a job earl...
kindness is never weakness
25 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
don't let the haters stop you from doing ur thangfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/dead or alive summer 2025 playlist !!!https://...
indifference is the best revenge ╮( ˘_˘ )╭
18 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
when being the bigger person is overratedif you wish me bad, i wish you _____ !!!!01:53 - 04:25 - 1. define love, acknowledge your efforts04:25 - 05:2...
MOVING TO A NEW CITY - should you move, dating, making new friends
03 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes ...
be crazy in private so you can focus on being hot in public: journalling
27 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
watch this if you're looking to start or still skeptical about journalling !!!4:36 the artist’s way, being consistent5:45 free printables & habit tr...
meditation for the unhinged & chronic over-thinkers (my 5 year review)
22 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
meditation re-wired my brain fr fr01:31 - sit with your thoughts02:02 - its good for u03:16 - why i started meditating (DEPRESSION)05:17 - consisten...
is your bestie acting like a hater? (female bullying & passive aggression)
06 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
girl, you might be a VICTIM??!!!referenced video on female bullyinghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DL5qDFDttps4:46 indirect, passive agression5:45 gro...
do you need to kill the lover girl inside you?
23 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
maybe your love is meant for you first and others next and yea then maybe some guy lollet me know ya thoughts and feelings my loves xxx03:59 retrainin...
don't let a fear of cringe get in the way of slaying
17 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
hope this helps!!! let me know :Pchronically online behviournobody cares that muchembrace the discomfort & cringebaby steps & experimental approachcre...
how hot girls make friends ☆
14 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
some additional thoughts on how to adjust your mindset to make new friends. share your thoughts and experiences with me in the comments!!!referenced v...
100 - miss you
22 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
i feel like i haven't done a proper podcast episode in ages but its also not the longest break i've taken... abridged life update incoming ..! i made ...
real baddie behaviour
21 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
what does it really take to be a “baddie”? to me, being a baddie is more than just an aesthetic, its an attitude, and one that you have to define ...
the philosophy of being hot & having fun (re-introduction for youtube))
11 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
don't forget to slay!!! subscribe for exclusive podcast episodes ♡ https://patreon.com/amberakilla https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/frien...
before (or after) you send that essay text
04 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
let's start speaking to the manager within!!! self-confrontation self-responsibility meeting other people's needs at the expense of your own m...
the price of slaying is haters
28 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
sometimes you wanting the best for yourself and others, triggers the worst in people you actually care about........... SURPRISE!!!! it definitely sur...
things i learnt about friendship in my 20s
21 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
slive slaugh slove slearn and slay ! let me know your thoughts, feelings and lessons on friendship in the comments!! 1. better to have no friends tha...
situationships are self harm
14 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
2025 only hit me up about the situationships you've ended, not the situationships you're in please & thank you xoxo 1. situationship defined 2. commi...
how to start new habits when your brain is mush
10 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
some thoughts and suggestions on habits that worked for me in my darkest most flop hour... lay the foundation for your next slay, today!!!!!! downloa...
how to cure your chronically online clownery
10 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
a list of practices and considerations i have used for digital distancing and to manage a healthier relationship with the internet and social media. i...
30 things i learnt before 30 pt.2
10 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
part two of my 30 things i realised before 30!!! let me know what you thought of this video and if you have any specific topic requests~~ subscrib...
30 things i learnt before 30 pt.1
10 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
sliving my slife ☆ subscribe to friend crush with amber akilla ♡ https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe follow me...
how to be confident & unbothered
10 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
hope this helps ^_^ 1. you are bored 1.1 get a life 1.2 find purpose 1.3 80/20 rule 1.4 exercise free will 1.5 get a hobby 1.6 enjoy your l...
do what you enjoy
10 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
guys my video didnt record, please forgive me. we will do better next time :~) anyways lets talk about the importance of doing what you enjoy for sel...
the disrespect is the closure
06 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
recent thoughts on closure and the illusion that an another person can give it to you. how can we think about overwhelming emotional experiences and '...
hot girl habits for crazy b*tches ☆
06 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
*life when you realize that conventional wisdom does kinda have value* hopefully this video makes some of these habits more appealing to you if you've...
99 - FIGHT BACK (defending against haters)
10 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, we're diving deeper into the world of haters and exploring strategies to fight back and reclaim our power. Building upon last week's ...
98 - haters gonna hate: psychology behind criticism & negative feedback
03 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this podcast episode, we delve into the intriguing topic of dealing with haters – those individuals who seem to go out of their way to criticize ...
97 - girl confessions: visa marriage, divorce, celibacy, living with men
27 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
!!! Serious Trigger Warning for SA in this Episode !!! WATCH VIDEO EPISODE : https://youtu.be/_GydjUIgPAM In this episode of "Girl Confessions," our g...
96 - leaving your hometown: navigating new beginnings, cutting ties
20 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode, I delve into the personal journey of leaving my hometown, Perth, and the social challenges I faced during that transition. While my d...
95 - girl confessions: lovebombed by a creative director and unhinged flings - exploring modern romance
13 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
WATCH VIDEO EPISODE: https://youtu.be/grzVGKHibVE Welcome back to another episode of "Girl Confessions"! Today, we've got another juicy installment fo...
94 - full-time vs freelance: navigating your career path
06 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this week's episode, we delve into the ever-relevant topic of "Full-Time vs Freelance" work arrangements. Join us as we unravel the romanticized no...
93 - nice guys & pick-me girls: gender expectations
30 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to Episode 93! In this week's episode, we dive deep into the intriguing topic of "Nice Guys" and "Pick-Me Girls". Join me as we explore the si...
92 - girl confessions: crazy girlfriend era, delusional crushes & becoming secure
23 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
WATCH VIDEO EPISODE: https://youtu.be/B6HvIXEyL2c Welcome to this week's episode of "Girl Confessions"! Join us as we dive deep into the world of rela...
91 - go where you're appreciated: finding self worth in the right places
16 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
PRE-ORDER MERCH BEFORE JULY 17 https://www.friendcrush.club/ Welcome to "Go Where You're Appreciated: Finding Value and Self-Worth in the Right Pl...
90 - DE-CENTER EVERYTHING: men, women, beauty, feminism - focus on yourself
09 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
PRE-ORDER MERCH BEFORE JULY 17 https://www.friendcrush.club/ In this week's "De-Center Everything: Men, Women, Beauty, Feminism & More – Focus o...
89 - dating for money, financial dynamics & sprinkle sprinkle
02 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
PRE-ORDER MERCH BEFORE JULY 17 https://www.friendcrush.club/ This week we dip into the intriguing world of Shera Seven and the complex dynamics of 'd...
88 - emotional accountability & relationship roadblocks
25 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
PRE-ORDER MERCH BEFORE JULY 17 https://www.friendcrush.club/ WELCOME TO SEASON SIX OF FRIEND CRUSHHHHH WOOO Join us as we delve into the transfor...
87 - 30 and no friends :( dealing w loneliness
29 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
special treat for friend crush listeners ~ i've received a few messages like this one so i felt the wheels turning in my brain and generated this resp...
voice memo 12 - is age just a number? pt.2 the privilege of aging
10 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
more thoughts on how our relationship to our own age can affect our experience of life. there are so many amazing sides to getting older than i have o...
voice memo 11 - ageism, is age just a number?
03 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
something I’ve been thinking about recently is our attitude towards age and the limitations we do or don’t place on ourselves and others as we get...
voice memo 10 - decisions made in toxic comfort zones
31 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
thoughts on vibe curation when it comes to the people you surround yourself with ~ we are social animals but that doesn’t mean we can’t choose who...
voice memo 9 - allergic to bad vibes
23 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
SAY NO TO BAD VIBES!! subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe follow me ...
86 - situationships
12 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
this episode might be triggering for anyone that's convinced themselves that they like being in a situationship so listen at your own risk :) subscri...
voice memo 8 - single & unbothered
23 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
bruh the only thing that can be bothersome is ppl in their trashy ass relationships trying to convince me to be as unsatisfied as them... bye! subscr...
85 - jealousy is a disease - envy & jealousy
21 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
jealousyyyy is a disease fr - its a human experience, but one that when unmanaged can create more harm than good, mostly to yourself!!! how can we bet...
84 - "high value women", growth & why people cheat
14 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
answering a listener message i received recently that prompted me to reflect on what it means to be a "high value woman" and my thoughts on this conve...
voice memo 7 - november thought dump
09 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
reflecting on recent work, capitalism, exercising, stress management and guilt. subscribe for exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ https://podcasters.s...
83 - quarter life crisis
07 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
i've done an episode on this before but i feel like its recently come up a lot in conversations with people in their early-mid 20s. my quarter life cr...
82 - non negotiable hobby
31 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
i think one of the best ways to develop healthier boundaries is to find activities that you care about that feel beneficial to you (keep you hot and h...
voice memo 6 - character litmus test
26 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
what kinds of questions can you ask to peep into someone's soul? to get a preview into how they view their relationships, particularly their relations...
81 - what do you have to offer?
10 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
we previously talked about 'what do you get out of it' and recently i've been thinking about 'what do you have to offer' two sides of the same coin ki...
80 - negative self talk
03 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
self-deprecation can seem harmless at times but i feel like when taken to far it can really get in the way of your ability to grow and expand how you ...
voice memo 5 - haters
28 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
there's a difference between being critical and being a hater. haters are just losers in disguise and here’s why! subscribe for exclusive episodes ...
79 - and what do you get out of it?
26 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
so often in life and in love we are bamboozled by other people's validation and desire and forget to ask 'what am i getting out of this', 'how do i fe...
78 - resigning as the friend group therapist
19 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
i think its quite common for listeners of the podcast to be the 'friend group therapist' - the person that everyone goes to for advice when they're go...
voice memo 4 - feelings first, why? later
14 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
so u are going through a hard time rn whether its a break up, friend break up or any other situation where you might feel blindsided and heartbroken. ...
77 - offence vs disrespect
12 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
i've been thinking about the subtle difference between being offended and being disrespected - maybe in a general sense the difference doesn't matter ...
76 - girl confessions: hinge, single friends, age gaps, dating as a WoC
05 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
GIRL CONFESSIONSSS this episode was so fun to record, "Sarah" and I have been internet friends for some time now and we barely scratched the surface i...
voice memo 3 - men & money???
31 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
patriarchy is exploiting all of us but how come women can have low self esteem and still manage to look good while being oppressed and men just have l...
75 - boy confessions: freshly 30, "the spark", dating expectations
29 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
our first boy confessions episode for the season!! 'christopher' just turned 30 and is currently taking some time off from his tech job to rest and re...
74 - wtf is a boundary
22 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
my current thoughts, feelings and understandings around boundaries, how they differ from standards, expectations, preferences and conditions. 'boundar...
voice memo 2 - friends to lovers to strangers, date ppl to get them out of the way lol
17 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
i noticed a few of comments on tiktok from people who have gotten romantically involved with their friends. the friends to lovers are? we love! but it...
73 - what are you doing with your life???
15 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
you know i feel like so much of my 20s has been about 'what' am i doing with my life, but in the last few years i've focused more on 'how' i am experi...
72 - why people don't change
08 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
tale as old as time... you know "what's best" for someone and for some reason they're not doing what needs to be done to be better???? WHYYYYYYY subs...
voice memo 1 - omg new crush just dropped!
03 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
reflecting on my first (few) crushes in god knows how long lol follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ ...
71 - SEASON FIVE !!! one year back in shanghai !!!
01 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
welcome welcome back to friend crush!!! can't believe its season five! i started this podcast during the pandemic as a creative outlet after having m...
70 - what about career switches? season 4 wrap!
02 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
wow i can’t believe we’re up to the 70th episode of friend crush!!! thank you so much for tuning in, sending your feedback, sending questions and ...
69 - healing a broken heart vs a bruised ego
25 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
there's a difference between a broken heart and a bruised ego when it comes to breakups - friendship, work, romantic or otherwise. how we process and ...