From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer

It Wasn't About the Sex

23 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

One of the most painful questions betrayed partners carry is this: Was I not enough? Many wonder whether being more available, more attracti...

"I Stopped. Why Isn't That Enough?"

09 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

You stopped the behavior. You told the truth. You started doing the work. So why does your partner still hurt? Why does the mistrust remain? And why d...

Everyone Around You Has an Opinion About Your Healing. Most of Them are Wrong.

02 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

When betrayal happens, it rarely stays private. Family members weigh in. Friends offer advice. Therapists, clergy, and social media voices all seem to...

You Know What to Do. Your Nervous System Doesn't.

26 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

You’ve read the books. You’ve listened to the podcasts. You know what you’re supposed to do differently. So why does it still fall apart in the ...

Your Emotions Aren't the Problem

19 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

We hear this all the time from couples: “I just need to get my emotions under control.” It sounds responsible and careful. But in relationship rec...

Why "I Don't Need Anyone" Isn't Healing - with Amie Woolsey

12 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

After betrayal or divorce, many people reach a powerful turning point. You finally feel stable on your own. You feel stronger. You feel less dependent...

If It's Abuse, Can We Still Do This Work?

05 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This is one of the hardest conversations couples face after betrayal. If gaslighting, manipulation, secrecy, blame, or coercion were part of the relat...

Same Conversation, Same Pain, Same Result

26 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

If you are the betrayed partner, it makes sense that you likely want more conversation, not less. You want answers. Clarity. Openness. You want your p...

Working Harder is Making Things Worse

19 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

After betrayal, many couples do everything right. They read the books. They go to therapy. They have the hard conversations. They show up every day. A...

When Romance Feels Unsafe after Betrayal

12 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

After betrayal, romance is often one of the first casualties. What once felt natural can suddenly feel confusing, pressured, performative, or even uns...

When Relationship Work Makes Things Worse

05 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

After betrayal, most couples assume the relationship is the place to start. Something has been broken, so the instinct is to talk more, reconnect, and...

Stop Asking if it's Working

29 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

After betrayal, reassurance becomes a quiet but powerful force in many relationships. Sometimes it shows up as a direct question. More often it appear...

Is it Fear or Actual Danger?

22 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

There are moments in recovery when something small suddenly feels overwhelming. A pause in conversation. A shift in tone. A missing detail. What looke...

Can You Heal without Forgiving?

15 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

After betrayal, forgiveness is often introduced almost immediately as the goal. People may say that healing depends on it, that moving forward require...

Is There Room for the Betrayer's Pain?

08 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Is There Room for the Betrayer’s Pain? Betrayal recovery often centers, understandably, on the pain of the betrayed partner. That pain is visible, c...

Using Recovery to Manipulate, Control, and Confuse

18 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Recovery can look convincing on the outside and still be deeply dishonest underneath. The meetings are attended. The books are read. The language soun...

Does the Type of Betrayal Matter?

11 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When betrayal enters a relationship, one of the first questions people ask is, How bad was it really? Was it pornography, emotional connection, secret...

You Can Face What You Fear

04 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Avoidance is one of the most common reactions to emotional pain. It shows up as silence, staying busy, withdrawing, shutting down, or convincing yours...

A Holiday Message from Us

27 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The holidays can stir up a full range of emotions, especially when you are carrying the weight of relational pain or the uncertainty of the healing pr...

What Really Determines Whether Healing Moves Forward

20 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After betrayal, even small mistakes can feel enormous. A forgotten detail, a defensive tone, or a moment of old behavior can land like a major setback...

Why You're Not Healing at the Same Speed

13 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

One of the most common fears couples face after betrayal is the feeling of being out of sync. One partner seems to be moving faster. The other feels s...

Shouldn't Love Be Enough?

06 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We grow up believing that if someone truly loves us, they’ll just know what we need. That love will automatically teach them how to comfort, protect...

Calming the Storm Together

30 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After betrayal, both partners are caught in a storm of overwhelming emotions and survival responses. The betrayed partner feels the instinct to pull a...

"But It Only Happened Once..."

23 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We often hear minimizing phrases like “It only happened once” or “Why make such a big deal out of it?” The intention may be to calm fears or m...

Protecting Your Relationship from an Emotional Affair

16 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Most people assume infidelity only matters when it becomes physical, but emotional infidelity can cut just as deep—and often deeper. When your partn...

Telling the Truth Isn't Enough

09 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve all heard the phrase “honesty is the best policy.” But after betrayal, many couples find that simply telling the truth doesn’t always br...

The Truth Behind Overreacting in Betrayal Trauma Recovery

02 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you’re the betrayed partner, you know what it’s like to be hit with waves of emotion that feel impossible to control. One moment you’re holdi...

Trust Isn't Built How You Think

25 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When trust has been broken, the recovering partner often feels pressure to prove they can be trusted again. They may follow instructions perfectly, tr...

Are You Behind in Your Recovery?

18 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Do you ever feel like you’re falling behind in healing? You look around and it seems like everyone else is moving forward while you’re stuck, spin...

Betrayal: Accountability vs. Expectations

11 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After betrayal, couples often find themselves trapped in a cycle. The unfaithful partner wants to explain, while the betrayed partner longs for real a...

Who Goes First in Recovery?

04 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After betrayal, many couples get stuck in a painful waiting game. The betrayed partner wants proof of safety before risking vulnerability, while the r...

We're Stable, But Are We Actually Healing?

19 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Free Video Training Resource for Betrayed Partners: https://www.geoffsteurer.com/romance-after-betrayal This episode is taken from a presentation...

Why We're Pressing Pause (and What Comes Next)

05 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After more than 300 weekly episodes, we are taking a short pause from From Crisis to Connection. In this brief update, we share why we’re stepping b...

When Men Are Betrayed: Breaking the Silence Around Male Betrayal Trauma

22 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When it comes to betrayal, we often hear one story: the man cheats, the woman is hurt, and support rallies around her. But what happens when the scrip...

Building a Marriage Team

15 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In early recovery, survival is the focus. But what does it look like for couples who’ve done the foundational healing work to move beyond crisis and...

Sex Addiction: Is My Husband in Good Recovery?

08 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

You’ve stopped the behavior. You’re going to the meetings. You’re doing everything the books and podcasts say to do. So why doesn’t your partn...

Covert Abuse in Relationships

01 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Betrayal trauma is devastating on its own—but for many betrayed partners, there’s a deeper, more disorienting layer they can’t name: covert abus...

The Danger of Unhealed Betrayal

24 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Why do some people heal from betrayal and rebuild their lives, while others stay stuck in pain and resentment for years—or even decades? In this pow...

How to Heal Body Image After Betrayal

17 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After betrayal, it’s common for women to turn inward, blaming their bodies and questioning their worth. In this important conversation, we talk with...

What About the Kids? How Betrayal Impacts Children and How to Support Them

10 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When betrayal strikes a marriage, the pain is immediate for the couple—but what about the children? In this powerful and eye-opening episode, we spe...

A Non-Pathologizing Approach to Our Imperfections

03 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What if the things you dislike most about yourself aren’t signs of failure—but invitations to heal? In this episode, I sit down with Haley Hinkle,...

Unmotivated or Unable? How to Tell the Difference

27 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this follow-up to our popular episode “What to Do When Your Partner Lacks Motivation,” we dive deeper into an important listener question: How ...

Why Some People Stay Stuck in Betrayal Trauma (And How to Move Forward)

20 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Healing from betrayal trauma is a deeply personal journey, but why do some people seem to heal and move forward while others stay stuck? In today’s ...

What to Do When You're the Unmotivated Partner

13 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt stuck, unmotivated, or unsure how to move forward—especially in your relationship? In this episode, we’re flipping the script f...

Caring for Children While Healing from Betrayal

06 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When betrayal happens in a marriage, the emotional impact on a betrayed partner is overwhelming. But what about the children? How can a mother (or fat...

What to Do When Your Partner Lacks Motivation

27 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What happens when you’re motivated, driven, and actively working on personal growth—but your partner isn’t? In this episode, we explore the chal...

The Impact of Agency on Mental Health - with Brianna Holmes - Episode 284

20 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, we explore the intersection of faith, mental health, and agency—how our ability to choose extends beyond simple decisions and impac...

Can I Learn to Connect? - Episode 283

13 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In today’s episode, we’re talking about something so many people ask—What if I’m bad at connection? What if I don’t know how to connect? If ...

5 Key Things Couples Who Heal from Betrayal Do Differently - Episode 282

06 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

One of the most common questions I hear from couples navigating betrayal recovery is, “Is it even possible for us to heal?” If you’ve ever wonde...

Bonus Episode - Guest Episode on KayLee Dunn's "Navigating Betrayal" Podcast

04 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

I was honored to be a guest on KayLee Dunn's "Navigating Betrayal" Podcast discussing: "Timing is Everything: When to Begin Rebuilding as a Coupl...

Four Hidden Fears in Trusting Again - Episode 281

30 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you’ve ever caught yourself checking your partner’s phone, feeling anxious when they’re late, or wondering if you’ll ever trust again, you’...

Overcoming Hidden Barriers to Healing After Betrayal - Episode 280

23 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this solo episode, I’m diving into three hidden barriers that can keep you stuck in the healing process after betrayal. Whether you’re the betr...

How Long Does it Take to Heal from Betrayal? - Episode 279

16 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I address one of the most common questions couples ask when healing from betrayal: “How long does it take?” I discuss the factors...

Accidental Missteps that Hurt Betrayed Couples (and how to fix them) - Episode 278

09 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I discuss the common mistakes couples make during betrayal recovery and provide guidance on how to move forward with intention and cl...

Teaching Consent to Children - with Rachel Brian - Episode 277

02 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The idea of “consent” can be difficult to teach to children, but in this episode our guest has been able to effectively describe body autonomy and...

Lessons from Great Listeners (Part 2) - Episode 276

26 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we continue our conversation about great listeners in our lives. Join us as we discuss how feeling truly seen by someone makes it easi...

When the Unfaithful is Also Betrayed - with Sam - Episode 275

19 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we welcome Sam from Sam's Healing Podcast to discuss the complexities unfaithful partners face during recovery. Sam shares his persona...

Lessons from Great Listeners (Part 1) - Episode 274

12 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this podcast episode, we dive into a discussion about the importance of good listening, particularly in the context of personal relationships and h...

What Does It Mean to Be Yourself? - Episode 272

28 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

‘Being yourself’ goes beyond what you do, or what you like to do. It really expands into how you move through life. In this episode we focus on th...

A More Compassionate Approach to Addiction - with Dr. Carrie Wilkens - Episode 271

21 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

So many family members sit on the sidelines worried about the health and welfare of their addicted loved ones, struggling to know what to do to help. ...

Stonewalling Your Partner - Episode 270

14 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A common reaction after an argument is the need for space to cool down and collect one’s thoughts. But when the silent treatment is continually give...

What I Have Learned as the Daughter of a Recovering Sex Addict - with Tara McCausland - Episode 269

07 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We typically address betrayal and recovery from the perspective of the betrayer and their partner. But in a family dynamic, there are often children i...

What I've Learned and Unlearned in 25 Years as a Therapist - Episode 268

31 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this solo episode I’d like to take a look back at the last twenty-five years as a therapist specializing in problematic sexual behaviors and betr...

Staying Out of Victimhood - Episode 267

24 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we explore the journey from identifying as a victim to achieving personal empowerment, particularly in the context of recovering from ...

Honesty, Trust, and Reactivity - with Dr. Jason Whiting - Episode 266

17 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever considered that being brutally honest could be more of a reactive emotion rather than being an authentic communication skill? In this ep...

Building a Protective Partnership - Episode 265

10 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Partnership is the foundation of healthy intimacy and connection. In this episode we discuss the necessity of developing a protective partnership that...

The Impact of Betrayal on a Partner's Identity - with Dr. Heidi Hastings - Episode 264

03 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we welcome Dr. Heidi Hastings, a marriage and sex researcher, to discuss her research on the impact of betrayal on a partner's identit...

Self Advocacy (Part 2) - Episode 263

26 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we continue our conversation on self advocacy, focusing on rebuilding trust after betrayal. Considering that a safe person is someone ...

Healing from Patterns of Sexual Betrayal in Christ’s Light - with Jeni Brockbank - Episode 262

19 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we welcome our guest, Jeni Brockbank, to discuss her book 'Healing in Christ's Light,' which merges principles of therapy with Christi...

Self Advocacy (Part 1) - Episode 261

12 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Betrayal trauma can leave the betrayed partner feeling isolated with mountains of self-doubt. Learning to find your voice and advocate for your needs ...

Power Dynamics in Relationships - with Bonnie Young - Episode 260

05 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Every relationship has a power dynamic, whether it be equal or an uneven split. Focusing on empathy, generosity, and mutual respect are the keys to ba...

Being Honest with Yourself Can Change Your Relationship - Episode 259

29 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When we think of dishonesty in relationships, we often immediately think of the  big, life-changing moments such as betrayal. But even very small...

Living with Unmet Expectations - Episode 258

22 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How many of you have the exact life that you mapped out when you were younger? The perfect spouse, perfect children, perfect life, where everyone does...

A Deeper Look at Forgiveness and Apologies - with Lisa Stoddard-Reeves - Episode 257

15 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, we welcome Lisa Stoddard Reeves to discuss the complex aspects of forgiveness in relationships, particularly within Christian context...

Demystifying the Polygraph Test - with Jared Rockwood - Episode 256

08 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What do you think of when you think of a polygraph test? Do you think of a gimmick you’ve seen on TV, or do you think of a reliable truth-telling de...

Support vs. Enabling - Episode 255

01 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Do you ever wonder if it’s necessary to praise someone for a basic action you feel they should automatically be doing? In this episode we have a nua...

When Betrayal Threatens Your Goodness - Episode 254

25 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Trauma responses can alter how we see ourselves, our relationships, and the world. In this episode we focus on managing betrayal trauma and its impact...

"I Meant Well...and Other Words That Kill Relationships" - with Heather Linchenko - Episode 253

18 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Relationships of every kind make up the fabric of our lives. In this episode we invite Heather Linchenko to join us, author and expert on healthy rela...

Sweeping Your Side of the Street - Episode 252

11 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There are always complex challenges and dynamics in managing one's own recovery after betrayal or broken trust, and it is often tempting to become ove...

"Sex Educated" - with Bonnie Young - Episode 251

04 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you could go back in time, what would you share with your younger self about their body, sexuality, relationships, and sexual connection? In this e...

How Loved Ones Can Offer Support - Episode 250

27 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When you are on the sidelines watching a friend go through the trauma of betrayal, it can be difficult not to choose sides or to know when to help and...

Should I Stay Or Go? - with Amie Woolsey - Episode 249

20 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Typically our podcast and practice focuses on repairing relationships. But within that work is the very real question of “should I stay or should I ...

Can Safety Needs Go Too Far? - Episode 248

13 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The safety needs for a betrayed partner immediately following betrayal can often feel extreme initially, but are crucial for the nervous system’s st...

An Affair, a Murder, and a Divorce - with Ashlee Boyson - Episode 247

06 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this heartfelt interview, Ashlee Boyson shares her powerful story of overcoming devastating betrayal and loss. Starting from the time she became di...

Building a Life After Divorce - Episode 246

30 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode I share a question from a listener coping with life after divorce. Men tend to have less social support than women, often due to coupl...

Unintentionally Hurting Your Partner - Episode 245

23 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There is a metaphor used in the Boy Scouts called the “blood circle”. To summarize, it encourages young boys to create an area around you where yo...

Disarming Coercive Behaviors - Episode 244

16 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How do you deal with coercion and emotional immaturity from other people? Do you defend yourself, disengage, or meet the other person at their level a...

The Challenge of Rebuilding Trust - With Brannon Patrick - Episode 243

09 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I was recently invited to be a guest on the “Therapy Brothers” podcast. In this thought-provoking episode, Brannon Patrick and I delve into the co...

Inpatient vs. Outpatient Treatment - Episode 242

02 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Sobriety, safety, support, and stability are crucial in the aftermath of addiction and betrayal, and can be found in both inpatient and outpatient tre...

A Post-Disclosure Pep Talk for the Betrayed Partner - Episode 241

25 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Discovering you have been betrayed is an extreme life-altering moment. Knowing what to do or where to turn next can feel insurmountable. In this episo...

A Post-Disclosure Pep Talk for the Recovering Partner - Episode 240

18 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The road after a betrayal and disclosure can be long and arduous. In this episode I share 4 thoughts as a “pep talk” for the recovering partner wh...

"No More Mr. Nice Guy" - with Dr. Robert Glover - Episode 239

11 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The need to be accepted, combined with the fear of abandonment and rejection can lead us into becoming what other people want us to be while hiding wh...

The Lure of the Victim Mindset

04 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week we are re-visiting an episode that aired one year ago, but is an important topic that is continually relevant as we navigate the ups and dow...

Resilience in the Aftermath of Betrayal - with KayLee Dunn - Episode 238

28 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's common for betrayed partners to wonder if they'll ever be themselves again. Enduring sleepless nights, constant stress, and regular emotional bre...

Narcissism or Emotional Immaturity? - with Tony Overbay - Episode 237

21 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Narcissism has gained momentum in everyday conversation. While many individuals exhibit varying degrees of narcissistic tendencies, true Narcissistic ...

The Importance of Men's Work - with Kurt Francom - Episode 236

14 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

One of the biggest casualties men experience, often when they are boys, is getting separated from their own hearts and living life on autopilot. Addic...

The Four Levels of Communication - with Nathaniel Gustafson - Episode 235

07 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Communication in a marriage or committed relationship isn't always easy, especially in the aftermath of betrayal. We've invited fellow therapist Natha...

Transactional vs. Transformational Relationship Dynamics - with Julia Witt - Episode 234

29 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We've invited Julia Witt to join us for a great discussion on transactional versus transformational relationships. Geoff discovered Julia when someone...

Taking Ownership of Our Stories - with Jason Portnoy - Episode 233

22 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we are joined by Jason Portnoy, who wrote a memoir called “Silicon Valley Porn Star”. Jason shares his personal journey of addicti...

Worthiness vs. Trust - Episode 232

15 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we discuss the topic of rebuilding trust and healing from betrayal. The concepts of 'worthiness' and 'trust' often get confused, and i...