Mario CAN'T Feel Pain?
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Does Mario actually feel pain after years of gameplay?
Does Mario feel pain? Over the last 40 years, he's been smashed by thwomps, burned by lava, and drowned thousands upon thousands of times. But does he feel any of it? The answer, loyal theorists, and I kid you not, might be the thing that finally redeems him in the eyes of game theory. Hello internet, it's Amiya Game Theory, the show that's still working on their Italian accent. Mamma mia. I was never very good at accents. Now, I know what you might be thinking. Tom, why on earth would you be asking this question, does Mario feel pain? Didn't Matt cover this in his theory about the Mario movie? And yes, he did cover that. I was actually the one who suggested that particular mini-theory. But here's the thing, or actually, here are two things.
The movies are not considered canon to the games, and two, the original movie came out in April of 2023, and a year later, senior designer at Nintendo, Takashi Tezuka, was asked this exact question, and his response was unsatisfying. Quote, it may be that Mario does feel pain. I don't know about you, but that answer just isn't really great. I know we're called Game Theory, but when it comes from the people who worked on the game, you'd expect it to be at least somewhat definitive. Should we be feeling guilty for every painful death we put this guy through? Or is Mario still the good-for-nothing plumber we've always suspected, hiding a dark secret from all of us? Well, I have been racking my brain for two years trying to come up with an answer worthy of, well, me.
And by luma, I think I've got it. Grab as many what-ups as you can, friends, and let's-a go. In order to do this, we're going to need to figure out how to measure Mario's pain. It's worth mentioning that we are questioning whether Mario feels pain, not if he's immortal. We see him die a lot. When he stays underwater for too long, he drowns. If he gets hit too many times by a Goomba or any other hazard, his body simply cannot go on and he dies. What we want to know is if there is any pain involved in these instances. The easiest answer would be to listen to him like a doctor in a hospital, but given he doesn't really talk outside of the odd phrase or yahoo, I'm not sure how helpful that's gonna be. Okay, and does it hurt if I put pressure here?
Okay, and how about here? And here? Interesting. So, because we can't really talk to him, we need to instead go off his reactions. At first, my mind went to the pain scale we see in scrubs, where you select from a handful of faces to determine someone's pain.
Mr. Peel, you're about a seven on the pain chart. Yep, you're seven.
But there's no way this thing was real. Surely it was just a gag. Lo and behold, it is real, or at least similar systems do exist, like the Wong Baker Faces Test. However, what is for comedic effect is the very literal interpretation of this test.
What evidence suggests Mario might not feel pain?
They aren't designed to literally mimic the face of someone in pain. They're more for when a patient is struggling to describe the pain level. They can look at the chart and point to what feels accurate. So sorry, scrubs, I'm enjoying your reboot, but I can't give you the accuracy point, I'm afraid. Fortunately, there are other ways to measure pain that do come from the direct observation of a person. Studies have found an extensive list of expressions and behaviors associated with someone feeling pain, and that these behaviors and expressions can be involuntary. These studies have been turned into checklists that carers can use when they take care of patients who are unable to verbally express themselves or even fully understand their pain, such as those with things like Alzheimer's or dementia.
It's called the Pain Assessment Checklist for Seniors with Limited Ability to Communicate, or the PACSLAC. It breaks down into these categories. Involuntary noises, which are things like saying ow or screaming when in pain without any control. Facial expressions and changes in physical movements are things like stiff movements or limping due to the pain. And then there's the non-physical changes that happen when you're in pain that may be a little trickier to notice, like changes in habits or social behavior.
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